Tag - baby

8 of My Favorite Things About Being Pregnant

August 13, 2016

For the last few months, this third pregnancy has had me slightly off my game more so than my other two pregnancies did. The tiredness, nausea, yucky taste, and more have been a bit of a struggle, especially with having my two boys to keep up with. Now that I’m a little more than halfway through, I’m feeling a bit better, for now (I know that the end-of-pregnancy uncomfortableness is still ahead of me).

With all the not-so-fun things that come with pregnancy, there are still so many wonderful parts of pregnancy than make up for the inconveniences and discomforts.

Here are 8 of My Favorite Things About Being Pregnant

#1. Expectant Mother Parking

Okay, this might sound silly, but I was so excited the first time I was able to pull into one of those special parking spaces. I had seen them popping up at various stores not long before I became pregnant with Elijah, and I thought that it was such a nice consideration for expectant and new mothers. I waited until I was rather obviously pregnant before taking advantage of them, so you know I was happy to have a shorter walk into the grocery store at that point.

#2. Special Consideration from Others

Similar to the expectant mother parking, it’s always nice when people are extra kind to you, and when you’re pregnant, most people are especially kind and helpful. Sure, some people might be a bit too free with their advice or invading your personal belly space, but for the most part, you are treated with a courtesy and friendliness that is often only experienced during the holiday season.

#3. Ultrasounds & the Heart Doppler

Few sounds are as beautiful as hearing your baby’s heartbeat, especially for the first time. It’s the highlight of every doctor’s appointment. That deep little “swish, swish, swish” sound is reassurance that your little one is doing well.

And while I’m not a fan of having a ton of ultrasounds while I’m pregnant, it is pretty exciting to have that visual confirmation of your baby’s growth. Seeing the profile, and yes, finding out whether you are carrying a boy or a girl, is a milestone that every mother waits for (even if you don’t want to know your baby’s sex before he/she is born).

This is how Josiah looked in utero.

#4. Feeling the Baby Kick

Even beyond the ultrasound, this is the milestone I look forward to and cherish: feeling the baby move. Trying to explain the sensation to someone who’s never been pregnant is pretty much impossible, but once you’ve experienced it, it’s something you’ll never forget. (I’ve had dreams that I was pregnant and in those dreams, I felt that baby moving…crazy.)

And, yes, as the baby gets bigger, those flutters and shoves become jabs and hard kicks and “please quit pushing on my ribs.” But even with those more powerful movements, you are bonding with your baby, learning their personality before you officially meet them.

For me, Elijah was my little ninja. He liked to kick, and kick, and kick. He also showed his stubbornness early by kicking me every time I moved to my left side, and he would continue kicking until I rolled to my right. Yep. I even warned Brad about this one.

Josiah’s style was more parkour. He flipped, kicked, and shoved constantly, and that has carried over since birth. He is our little daredevil who never walks when he can run, who climbs EVERYTHING just so he can jump off it. We’d kind of hoped he would be a bit more laid-back than Elijah, but…nope.

We’ve already been praying about this third boy. 🙂

#5. Comradery with Every Other Mother in the World

Just like you bond with your baby while you’re pregnant, being pregnant also gives you an instant bond with every other woman who has ever been pregnant or become a mother in some way. You’ll exchange stories about your experiences during the months you carried your babies and share your birth stories and the first-six-weeks-with-a-newborn stories.

Despite what we hear about “mommy wars,” I’ve found that most moms are super supportive and encouraging, and that kind of community is a wonderful thing.

#6. Deeper Appreciation for My Mother

Nothing makes you appreciate your own mom like becoming one yourself. Experiencing pregnancy, labor & delivery, and life with a little one, you can’t help but think about your mother, now that you know what she went through for you.

Thankfully, my mom and I have always had a very close relationship, and my pregnancies have only brought us closer. Not only has she been the one I go to for advice, encouragement, questions, and prayer, but my mom has been there with me through each labor and delivery. She has coached me through two un-medicated natural deliveries, knowing the pain I was feeling but helping me stay focused and determined through it all. (She’s not a professional doula, but she totally could be!) And of course, she has always been ready to help during those early weeks (and anytime, no matter our kids’ ages, actually), even if she just does dishes for us or sits with the baby while I get a nap.

#7. Deeper Appreciation for My Husband

Pregnancy and parenting aren’t easy, but it is easier when you have a supportive, on-board partner to share it with.

Most any given day, I know that I have a rather fabulous husband. He has been fabulous from day one. But I am reminded even more so of his fabulousness when I’m pregnant and once we’re in the midst of caring for a newborn.

Not only does he help with our boys even more and take care of additional household chores when I don’t feel well or just physically can’t, but he does it with joy. He insists that I rest when I need to because he knows I have a tendency to push myself maybe more than I should. He does whatever he can to help me through the unpleasant parts of pregnancy, whether it’s stopping on his way home to pick up more salt & vinegar chips to help me with the nasty taste in my mouth or massaging my achy legs at night even when he’s really tired himself.

In the delivery room, if my mom is the coach, he’s my cheerleader. I know it’s tough for him to see me go through it, but he’s never left my side. And once our babies arrive, he is the sweetest of daddies, changing their first diapers and waking in the night along with me to bring the baby to me for feedings (in the weeks that Brad is off from work) or doing his best to soothe a cranky little one, sometimes falling asleep in the rocking chair himself.

#8. A Baby

This sounds kind of obvious, but the best part of being pregnant, the one thing that makes all the difficult, painful moments worthwhile is that moment when the doctor hands you your squirmy, wrinkly little one and you really meet your baby for the first time. That moment, and about a million others over the next year (and years). Loving and caring for this child, watching them grow and learn, knowing that God has a unique and divine purpose and plan for him, and seeing that plan slowly unfold through his personality and talents, his likes and passions, and God’s leading – there really is nothing better.

It doesn’t change, either, from your first baby to your second or third or so on. Each one brings a new, unique joy and love to your life.

It is absolutely the best part of being pregnant.

So, moms, what would you add to the list? What is something you love or loved about being pregnant?

19 Old Wives’ Tales & Myths for Predicting Your Baby’s Gender

July 26, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven: Tried It Tuesday - 19 Old Wives' Tales & Myths for Predicting Your Baby's Gender. Do old wives' tales actually work to correctly predict a baby's gender? I put 19 to the test and compared them with our actual ultrasound.

Probably the two questions that I’ve heard even more this pregnancy than both of my other ones have been: “Do you know what you’re having?” (I always answer, “A baby,” even though I know they’re asking about the gender), and “Are you hoping for a girl?”

Because we have two boys, there are plenty of people who really want us to have a girl, our two boys included. And since the grandchildren on my side of the family are only boys so far – 8 in a row , and Brad’s side has only one girl and then 5 boys in a row…well, there are plenty of hopes for a girl soon to break those streaks as well.

Brad and I, however, are fine either way. We’d like a girl, but we also love having boys. Plus we have basically everything we’d need for a boy, and we’re getting pretty good at parenting boys.

Well, yesterday we reached that big milestone that many expectant parents look forward to: The 20-Week Ultrasound. You know, the one they do at 18-20 weeks to measure and check all the baby’s body parts, including those that will reveal the gender of your baby.

Since we are “finder-outers” who feel that the surprise of our baby’s gender is as much of a surprise now as it would be when he/she is born, we definitely opted to know if we were are having a boy or a girl.

However, before we did that, I took a suggestion from my sister-in-law (who is also expecting) to go through some old wives’ tales and myths for gender predicting so we can see how those results compare to the ultrasound.

There were way more out there than I have ever heard of, so I only did the ones that I really wanted to, but here are what the old wives’ tales say I should be having (stay with me, and I’ll let you know what the ultrasound showed us). Oh, and these are ALL just for fun. I don’t know that many of them have any scientific evidence to back them up, even though a few of them have proven to be surprisingly accurate more often than not for many moms-to-be.

19 Old Wives’ Tales & Myths to Predict Gender

#1. HOW YOU CARRY

I would guess that nearly every expectant mother has heard this one at some point. If you’re carrying the baby high, it’s a girl. If your baby belly is lower, it’s a boy.

For me, this bump looks pretty much like my other two, but I’m not sure if any of them were really high or low. However since it’s the same, we’ll say, BOY.

#2. CHINESE GENDER PREDICTOR CALENDAR

Supposedly the Chinese have had this one figured out for centuries. By looking at both the age of the mother when the baby was conceived and the month the baby was conceived, this chart can tell you whether you’re having a boy or a girl.

My results: BOY.

#3. HEART RATE

I remembered this one from my previous two pregnancies. According to this theory, if your baby’s heartbeat is below 140 beats per minute, you’re carrying a boy. If it’s over 140, it’s a girl.

Based on this, both of my boys should have been girls because they had higher heart rates. This time around, the baby’s heart is generally around 150, so GIRL? (Or just another active boy?)

#4. CRAVINGS

If you have developed a serious sweet tooth with this pregnancy, this myth says that you’ve got a girl. If you are going more for the salty or sour items, expect a boy.

Sadly, I’ve never really had cravings! I was so looking forward to the quirky things I’d want when I was pregnant, but alas, I experience more food aversions than cravings. However, with Elijah I ate a lot of fruits and veggies, and with Josiah more sugar and sweets, probably because I was tired after chasing a toddler around while pregnant and needed a boost of energy.

This baby, I’m just coping with the nasty taste I struggle with all pregnancy as best as I can, and salty or sour things work better for that. So, BOY, I guess.

#5. Wedding Ring on a String

This is a crazy old tale, and it seems to have a few different versions, so I did two of them.

One is to put your wedding ring on a string or a piece of your hair (went with some thread for this), and hold the ring over your belly. If it starts going in a circle, you’ll have a boy. If it goes back and forth like a pendulum, it’s a girl. This one circled, so BOY.

#6. NECKLACE VARIATION

However, another version is to dangle a necklace with a pendant over your hand or wrist. If it circles this time, it’s a girl. Pendulum swing, it’s a boy. This one also circled, but that would mean GIRL.

#7. MAJOR MORNING SICKNESS

If you are seriously fighting morning sickness early on or continuously throughout your pregnancy, you might be having a girl. Slight or non-existent sickness could mean a boy.

This time around I have been more nauseated and have actually felt sicker more often.

Based on this idea: GIRL.

#8. MOTHER’S COMPLEXION

If you’re dealing with a lot of blemishes and breakouts throughout your pregnancy, you can expect a daughter, or so this theory says since an old tale says that a girl steals her mother’s beauty. For me, this means BOY.

#9. MOTHER’S FEET

If you have been having colder feet lately, blame your little boy. If your tootsies are fine and toasty, it’s a girl.

It’s summer, so I’m not sure how accurate this one’s going to be because my feet have been plenty warm. GIRL.

#10. WHICH BREAST IS BIGGER

Okay, if this is TMI for you, just move past it. However, this belief states that if you notice that you are slightly lopsided up top, you can predict your baby’s gender. If your right side is bigger, it’s a boy. If it’s your left, it’s a girl.

BOY.

#11. DREAMS OF BABY

This one says that when you dream of your baby, if you dream of a boy, it’s actually a girl. If you’re dreaming of a girl, expect a boy. Your dreams supposedly show the opposite of what you’re having.

I’ve had two dreams of a baby boy, so does that mean a GIRL?

#12. HAIRY LEGS

According to this one, if the hair on your legs is growing in faster than normal, you’re having a boy.

Thankfully that hasn’t happened to me because shaving when you’re pregnant is enough of a PAIN! So, GIRL.

#13. CRAVINGS, Part 2

If the expectant mom is craving proteins, such as meat and cheese, she can plan on a boy.

Don’t know that it’s a craving, but cheese is something that I CAN eat. BOY.

#14. COLOR OF YOUR URINE

Yeah, kind of gross, but here’s what it says: If your pee is bright yellow, it’s a girl. Dull or clear, it’s a boy. I also saw the reverse of this, too – bright is for boys, and dull/clear is a girl. So…hmmm.

Plus if you’re taking a prenatal vitamin (which will make urine quite bright) and drinking the water you should be (which will give you clearer results), this test is just going to be all kinds of confused.

INCONCLUSIVE.

#15. BABY NAMES

If you can only think of names for one gender, that’s the gender you’ll have.

For us, we’ve only come up with girls’ names so far…GIRL.

#16. WEIGHT GAIN

This old wives’ tale says that if you’re gaining all your weight out front, you’ll have a boy. But if your weight is spread out all over, you’ve got a girl.

Hmmm…GIRL.

#17. HEADACHES

If you are experiencing headaches during your pregnancy, this theory says it’s because you’re going to have a boy.

No headaches here, so GIRL, although I don’t think I’ve ever had headaches with my boys (not until after they were born, anyway. Haha).

#18. SKIN

Dry skin during pregnancy is said to be caused by carrying a boy, while smooth, soft skin can be the result of expecting a girl.

I haven’t noticed any major dry skin, so we’ll say GIRL.

#19. FAMILY HISTORY

Do you have siblings? If so, you can predict your child’s gender by looking at the gender order for you and your brothers and sisters.

Were you the first born? You’ll have what your mom had, only starting at the second child.

If you’re in the middle, start with her third child.

For the baby of the family, you get to copy your mother’s order exactly.

Thankfully, my parents had three kids, so this works out easily for us. I don’t know how you do this if your parents only have one or two children.

According to this, we’re due for a GIRL.

RESULTS

Based on these old wives’ tales:

7/19 Point to a BOY

11/19 Say expect a GIRL

1/19 Inconclusive

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND OLD WIVES’ TALES

Of course, none of these old wives’ tales, myths, and internet ideas are as accurate as what an ultrasound can reveal. Even though some ultrasounds have been proven wrong when the baby is actually born (surprise it’s NOT a boy!), they are generally correct 90-95% of the time.

Our ultrasounds have been pretty obvious each time, even to Brad, who can’t always follow all the shadows and blobs on the screen. (Love you, honey!) And since I’m…ahem…older this time around, we actually have to have our ultrasounds done at the hospital because they have better technology to screen for deformities and issues that are statistically a higher risk since I’m now over 35. So, if we could tell the first two times, we should definitely be able to tell this time around with better equipment and picture quality.

And this ultrasound was just as easy to tell. It was no different. And by no different, I mean we’ve seen this kind of ultrasound before…twice. 🙂

We are very happy to announce that we will be welcoming our THIRD boy! Even though our boys were kind of hoping for a girl, they were very quick to embrace the idea of having a new little brother, and Brad and I are preparing for all the fun ahead with keeping up with three active boys. (By the way, we made our own color powder to put in a balloon.)

So, less than half of the old wives’ tales agreed with our ultrasound.

EXPECTANT MOMS, WHAT WERE YOUR RESULTS? Have you tried any of these or other old wives’ tales to predict your baby’s gender? What does your ultrasound show (or what did you have)? Let me know, and I can update this article with your totals, too!

We Prayed. He Answered.

June 13, 2016

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For over a year, Elijah has been praying faithfully for one thing. Every night when we say our bedtime prayers, his very first words are, “Dear Jesus, thank You for this day. Please help Mommy to have another baby…”

And it’s not just habit. I’ve asked him about it. He has been praying, believing, and full of faith that God will answer his prayers. In fact, as I shared back in October, he is so confident that he was checking my belly for a baby after only three nights of praying. He has since checked a couple others times, as well.

With that kind of persistence and faith, it wasn’t long before Josiah took up the cause, too, adding “Thank you for the baby in Mommy’s tummy,” to his own prayers.

Of course, Brad and I have been praying, as well, but not just that we would have another child, but rather, that we would have another child if that was God’s plan for us and our family. We’ve prayed and sought God’s will and timing for each of our children, and we’ve never set a definite number for how big or small our family would be because we believe that God has a say in this, one of the most important areas of our lives. We’ve always used “precaution” until we felt that God said, “Ok, it’s time to have a baby.” And that might sound silly to some, waiting for God’s leading in when you have children, but I know with both of our boys, that once we knew we had His green light, I was pregnant within a few weeks. (I love how my friend Denise explains their approach to growing their family. She says it so well, and it’s exactly the way that Brad and I have looked at it.)

So, with Elijah and Josiah both praying for a sibling, Brad and I began really asking God what He had planned for us, and while three children had always been a consideration for us, we weren’t certain and needed to know.

Then one day I felt God tell me, “Be open to four.”

I laughed at first, not necessarily because I didn’t believe God could give us four, but because that would be just like God to say, “This is what you think the plan is, but here is what MY plan is.”

And knowing that Brad was still trying to wrap his mind around the possibility of three, four would be kind of a leap ahead.

When I told Brad, I said, “Maybe it’s because we’re supposed to have one more and then adopt. Maybe we’ll have twins, maybe we’ll adopt two. I don’t know. Maybe God just wants to remind us that we don’t want to box Him in. We need to be open to whatever He has for us because no matter what it is, it will be better than our plans anyway.”

So we have been prayerfully awaiting God’s direction for our family.

And now we have an answer, at least the next part of it.

We are happy to announce that in December, we will be welcoming Baby Lape #3 to our family.

(We have been assured by the ultrasound tech that there is only one baby. Since my dad is a twin and twins run in my family, I always have her double check.)

Our boys are ecstatic, and so are we. We know from experience how love multiplies and makes room for more, so we are very excited to meet our newest addition.

The boys are both hoping for a girl, since, as Elijah says, “We don’t have any girls in our house except for you, Mommy,” but Brad and I will be happy either way. We have everything we’d need for a boy, and we’re getting pretty good with raising them. Of course, we’d also love a girl, which would end the boy-streak on my side of the family (all grandsons – 8 in a row), give Brad and I both a chance to experience raising a daughter, and mean that we’d have some fun shopping to do. (We’ll find out the gender at the end of July.)

For now we are just celebrating this new tiny little life, planning for all the transitions and new adventures we’ll be facing as a family, and the boys’ prayers (and our) have switched to “Thank Yous” and prayers for the baby’s safe development over the next months and help for Mommy with all the pregnancy “fun.”

I love that our boys get to see God answering their prayers, and I’m thankful that they had to wait a while for that answer to come. They are learning early on that God’s timing doesn’t always match ours, but if we trust Him and His plan with faith and patience, we’ll be blessed no matter how or when He answers.

Images courtesy of Picture Bliss Photography.

Elijah and the Belly

October 4, 2015

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Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Out of the Mouth of Babes, Elijah and the Belly. Sometimes trusting God's plan when it doesn't match up to our is harder than having the faith to move mountains.

This past year has brought a number of new babies to our family and close friends, so every few months, our boys were hearing about another baby being born. Either they were seeing those adorable newborn pictures in my Facebook feed, watching Mommy edit newborn pictures from the two sessions she did, or they actually got to meet and hold their new cousins or friends. (Holding the babies is their favorite part)

It should have come as no surprise then that Elijah decided that our home needed a new baby, too. He was almost three when Josiah was born, so he remembers the everyday of having a new little one around for him to play with and watch grow. However, Josiah, being two-and-a-half now, has apparently grown past “baby,” no matter how much Mommy told him to slow down. (He’ll even tell you, “I not a baby! I a big boy!”) Now Elijah is eager for a new brother or sister.

When Elijah began telling me that I needed to have another baby, I told him that that was something for God to decide, and we needed to ask God if that was part of His plan for our family.

That night, when it was time for Elijah to pray before bed, the very first request out of his mouth was, “Please let Mommy have another baby.”

Brad and I laughed but also looked at each other. Our child was now praying for God to give us a third child.

: Elijah with his cousin Emmett

: Meeting his cousin Aiden

: My boys sharing their cousin Aiden.

: Josiah holding our new friend Lauralyn by himself.

Elijah prayed the same thing the next night and the next. He didn’t forget it.

A few days after he’d started beseeching the Almighty for another sibling, Elijah came up to me and began pushing and poking on my belly.

When I asked him why he was doing that, he said, “Well, I’ve been praying that you would have a baby. I’ve prayed three times! I’m just checking to see if I can feel a baby yet.”

Part of me was, like, “Haha. Oh, my.” Clearly, he remembered when Mommy was pregnant with Josiah and feeling Josiah kick. I laughed and told him that even if Mommy were pregnant, he wouldn’t feel a baby yet.

The bigger part of me was, like, “But, uh-oh. Oooh, my!” This boy was SERIOUS. Very serious. He had so much faith that God would answer his prayers that he was already looking for proof that it was answered.

It’s not that Brad and I don’t want a third child. That’s kind of always been in our thoughts. However, we weren’t sure when or if that was in God’s thoughts for us. So, we’d been praying for direction.

Some might say that Elijah’s prayers are confirmation. They might be. We still don’t know yet.

An almost-3-year-old Elijah meeting his little brother, Josiah.

Either way, there is a delicate balance to achieve when you explain to your 4-year-old that sometimes God doesn’t always give us everything we pray for.

You want to encourage and nurture their faith because, truly, “with God, all things are possible,” and He tells us in Mark 11:24, “Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.”

Jesus meant that. So, yes, Elijah, pray and believe. Increase your faith. Trust your God to do big things because He will.

And yet, we also want Elijah to realize that sometimes God says, “That’s not My plan for you.” We have to trust THAT just as much as we trust Him to do the big things we ask of Him. Sometimes trusting His plan when it doesn’t match up to ours is even harder than having the faith to move mountains.

I have to say, though, that I have been kind of impressed. Elijah understands that God might say, “No,” or “Not yet,” but he still prays EVERY SINGLE NIGHT for a baby. (By the way, he would prefer a sister, so he says, but he’s leaving that up to God, too.)

He’s also praying for a new car. I had told him that if we have another baby, we’d need another car, so if he was going to pray for a baby, he needed to pray for God to provide a new vehicle, too, so all the car seats will fit. He has no problem with trusting God to meet every need we might have.

I almost want to have a third child just so that Elijah’s faith is rewarded. I mean, he would be able to say, “For this child I have prayed” and prayed and prayed and prayed. It’s funny, sweet, and inspiring all at once.

It’s also a little daunting. Because what if God says, “Yes. Sure. Here you go, Elijah.”

I know that children touch God’s heart. I know that He hears their prayers and answers because those little ones faithfully, unwaveringly believe.

But my little believer won’t be the one up for nighttime feedings, or changing endless diapers, or dealing with some of the less-than-pleasant things about pregnancy and childbirth, no matter that he has volunteered to take care of the baby for us since “I’m the one praying for it.”

That’ll be Mommy, with Daddy’s help. Having already done this twice, knowing what I’d be getting into can be a little unnerving. It’s almost worse, at times, than when we were first-time parents who didn’t know anything.

Of course, we also know the good side of having children. Babies are precious, beautiful, miraculous gifts from God. They bring so much joy and delight. Watching each child become their own little person is amazing, and I truly love being a mother.

So, now I’m praying, but my prayer is this: “Not my will, but Yours be done.”

I guess, my big boy and I are learning to trust God’s plan together.

Feature image picture courtesy of Picture Bliss Photography.