Category - Encouragement

Elijah and Quiet Time

October 6, 2015

Naptime. I don’t know a mommy or daddy with little ones who doesn’t look forward to naptime. Well, a naptime when the little people go to sleep easily and get all their “cranky” out before they wake up. That’s the kind of naptime we love.

Then your child starts to get a little older, and naptime gets met with a bit more resistance and lot less napping.

When Elijah hit that age (about 3-1/2), Josiah still needed his afternoon naps. Honestly, Elijah still needed his, too, but he wasn’t sleeping. So rather than spend my precious hour-and-a-half of child-free(ish) time going up and down the stairs to keep Elijah in his bed and quiet, I decided to institute “Quiet Time.”

The rules were simple: Elijah was to stay on his bed and be quiet, so no playing with his toys and running around his room. He didn’t have to go to sleep. He could look at books and just relax.

At first, he loved it. It felt like freedom to him. He didn’t HAVE to go to sleep, but most of the time, especially early on, if he were quiet enough, for long enough, he fell asleep on his own. Mommy for the win!

Alas, my smart boy figured out my game. And before long, Quiet Time wasn’t as fun as it started out to be. However, every parent knows, we all need a break sometimes, and those 60-90 minutes of relative quiet in the afternoon give Mommy a chance to breathe, regroup, and find that hidden reserve of patience (along with one of the ice cream bars tucked away in the deep freezer).

Once upon a time, I, too, used naptime as napping time. But since Elijah didn’t sleep, neither did I. Now, most of the time, I use Quiet Time to finish housework that I can’t do as easily while the boys are running free, like mopping (Our entire downstairs is hardwood or hardwood-wanna-be, so mopping is a necessary evil) or cleaning the bathroom (cleaning the tub, even with the easy spray and wipe-away solution I found, gives the boys too much time out of sight. They only need a few seconds to wreak havoc.).

One day in late spring this year, Elijah was being especially resistant to having to relax for an hour, and he told me,

“It’s not fair! You get to stay down here and do work, and I have to do Quiet Time.”

I replied, “You’re right. It’s not fair.”

That boy totally had Quiet Time that day. Haha.

But his warped sense of fairness got me thinking.

How many times do we compare our situation with someone else’s and misjudge the circumstances because all we see is our side of things?

We don’t generally know everything that someone else has gone through, but we can be quick to say, or at least think, “It’s not fair.”

We see that they have a nicer house or a new car. We don’t see that they have sacrificed time with their family or worked for years to get a promotion that pays for it.

Their Facebook status says they’re going on a date night…again! We haven’t had a date night since our last child was born (not totally a true story). We don’t see that they’ve finally come through years of marital struggles, where they didn’t even want to be in the same room with each other, and are now celebrating the restoration of their relationship.

They are given a place of leadership in a church ministry, but we’ve been at the church as long as they have. We don’t know the hours they’ve spent with God, seeking His will and His face, and serving faithfully when no one saw them.

I had someone tell me once that my relationship with God was easier because I “grew up” in the church, as if I had an unfair advantage. While I understood what she meant – being exposed to the Truth early in life and having the good example and guidance of parents allowed me to build a strong foundation early on. However, what she didn’t understand was that I had to make the choice to follow God every day – it’s not just a given. I had to know the Word, I had to pray, and I had to work on my relationship with Him in order to maintain and build on that foundation.

Sure, sometimes, life can truly be unfair. Yes, that’s going to happen because we live in a fallen world. However, a lot of the time, we’re only viewing things from our own limited perspective. We don’t see all the hard work, the struggles, or the past difficulties of those around us. Just because we’d like what they have, doesn’t mean it’s unfair for them to have it or for us not to have it.

One of those days when Elijah “wasn’t” tired.

After Jesus’s resurrection, He spent time with His disciples, and in the same conversation where He restored Peter by asking Peter to feed His sheep, Jesus hints at how life will go for this impulsive disciple.

In John 21:18 -19, He says “ ‘Most assuredly, I say to you, when you were younger, you girded yourself and walked where you wished; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do not wish.’ This He spoke, signifying by what death he would glorify God. And when He had spoken this, He said to him, ‘Follow Me.’”

It doesn’t sound pretty, and Peter wants to know what is ahead for others, such as John.

“Then Peter, turning around, saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following… Peter, seeing him, said to Jesus, ‘But Lord, what about this man?’

Jesus said to him, ‘If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you? You follow Me.’“ (John 21:20-22)

That doesn’t sound fair. But what does Jesus say? “You follow Me.” (My version – Don’t worry about John, Peter. You worry about being obedient to me.)

God is just. God is fair. Trust Him, be obedient to Him, and don’t worry about how your life compares with someone else’s.

Elijah only saw that I didn’t have to go to sleep. He didn’t see that I would be spending that “not sleeping” time working hard to keep up with housework and start dinner for us, him included.

One of these days in the distant future, Elijah will be longing for the very naptime and Quiet Time he eschews now, and he will see it through new eyes. I have a feeling that his sense of what is “fair” and “not fair” just might change by then.

Josiah and the Juice

October 5, 2015

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Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Out of the Mouth of Babes, Josiah and the Juice. How a cup of juice reminded me to not worry, but simply trust God to take care of my needs.

It was one of those hurried mornings, where we’d rushed out the door to get Elijah to school on time. As has become my habit, while we were pulling away from the school (Elijah having made it there safely and on time), I was telling Josiah what our day had in store for us.

I listed off all the chores and to-dos in our plan, then said, “But Mommy needs to eat some breakfast first.” (Since the school is not even 5 minutes away, and we were headed straight back home after dropping off Elijah, I’d delayed my breakfast in the interest of getting my son out the door on time.)

Josiah’s reply was, “And I need to get my juice!”

We have a breakfast rule that our boys need to eat most of their breakfast before they can have juice because, like a lot of kids, they will fill up on their drink and not eat their food. Josiah had finished all his cereal that morning, but in the rush, I hadn’t gotten around to getting him his juice when he had asked.

I apologized to my little guy, “That’s right! Mommy didn’t get a chance to you your juice before we left, did she?”

“No! Pooor me,” Josiah sing-songed from the backseat.

“Poor you?” I asked, laughing. Thinking back over the hectic morning, his juice really hadn’t been my biggest concern.

Then he giggled. Good. At least he knew he was being a little dramatic.

It made me pause, though. How often are we, as God’s children, so focused on what we want, when we want it, or what we don’t have that we think we need, that we don’t appreciate the bigger picture of what we have? We’re quick to feel impatient or “oh, poor me” when we should really be thankful for all of our many blessings. We should be able to rest in knowing that God will provide whatever we need, when we need it.

Jesus reminded us of this in Matthew 6:31-33, “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”

Josiah had not been neglected. He’d been fed, dressed, washed, kissed, and even in the hurry, taken care of. If it had been something that he’d really needed immediately, I would have made sure he had it. Thankfully, he was in a non-demanding mood and seemed to understand that his juice was not as important as other things, and that Mommy would get it for him once we were home.

If he can trust Mommy, who is forgetful and fallible, how much more should we be able to trust our perfect Heavenly Father?

Some days Josiah’s not so willing to wait and trust. Of course, he’s two-and-a-half. Those of us older than that…what’s our excuse?

Elijah and the Belly

October 4, 2015

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Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Out of the Mouth of Babes, Elijah and the Belly. Sometimes trusting God's plan when it doesn't match up to our is harder than having the faith to move mountains.

This past year has brought a number of new babies to our family and close friends, so every few months, our boys were hearing about another baby being born. Either they were seeing those adorable newborn pictures in my Facebook feed, watching Mommy edit newborn pictures from the two sessions she did, or they actually got to meet and hold their new cousins or friends. (Holding the babies is their favorite part)

It should have come as no surprise then that Elijah decided that our home needed a new baby, too. He was almost three when Josiah was born, so he remembers the everyday of having a new little one around for him to play with and watch grow. However, Josiah, being two-and-a-half now, has apparently grown past “baby,” no matter how much Mommy told him to slow down. (He’ll even tell you, “I not a baby! I a big boy!”) Now Elijah is eager for a new brother or sister.

When Elijah began telling me that I needed to have another baby, I told him that that was something for God to decide, and we needed to ask God if that was part of His plan for our family.

That night, when it was time for Elijah to pray before bed, the very first request out of his mouth was, “Please let Mommy have another baby.”

Brad and I laughed but also looked at each other. Our child was now praying for God to give us a third child.

: Elijah with his cousin Emmett

: Meeting his cousin Aiden

: My boys sharing their cousin Aiden.

: Josiah holding our new friend Lauralyn by himself.

Elijah prayed the same thing the next night and the next. He didn’t forget it.

A few days after he’d started beseeching the Almighty for another sibling, Elijah came up to me and began pushing and poking on my belly.

When I asked him why he was doing that, he said, “Well, I’ve been praying that you would have a baby. I’ve prayed three times! I’m just checking to see if I can feel a baby yet.”

Part of me was, like, “Haha. Oh, my.” Clearly, he remembered when Mommy was pregnant with Josiah and feeling Josiah kick. I laughed and told him that even if Mommy were pregnant, he wouldn’t feel a baby yet.

The bigger part of me was, like, “But, uh-oh. Oooh, my!” This boy was SERIOUS. Very serious. He had so much faith that God would answer his prayers that he was already looking for proof that it was answered.

It’s not that Brad and I don’t want a third child. That’s kind of always been in our thoughts. However, we weren’t sure when or if that was in God’s thoughts for us. So, we’d been praying for direction.

Some might say that Elijah’s prayers are confirmation. They might be. We still don’t know yet.

An almost-3-year-old Elijah meeting his little brother, Josiah.

Either way, there is a delicate balance to achieve when you explain to your 4-year-old that sometimes God doesn’t always give us everything we pray for.

You want to encourage and nurture their faith because, truly, “with God, all things are possible,” and He tells us in Mark 11:24, “Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.”

Jesus meant that. So, yes, Elijah, pray and believe. Increase your faith. Trust your God to do big things because He will.

And yet, we also want Elijah to realize that sometimes God says, “That’s not My plan for you.” We have to trust THAT just as much as we trust Him to do the big things we ask of Him. Sometimes trusting His plan when it doesn’t match up to ours is even harder than having the faith to move mountains.

I have to say, though, that I have been kind of impressed. Elijah understands that God might say, “No,” or “Not yet,” but he still prays EVERY SINGLE NIGHT for a baby. (By the way, he would prefer a sister, so he says, but he’s leaving that up to God, too.)

He’s also praying for a new car. I had told him that if we have another baby, we’d need another car, so if he was going to pray for a baby, he needed to pray for God to provide a new vehicle, too, so all the car seats will fit. He has no problem with trusting God to meet every need we might have.

I almost want to have a third child just so that Elijah’s faith is rewarded. I mean, he would be able to say, “For this child I have prayed” and prayed and prayed and prayed. It’s funny, sweet, and inspiring all at once.

It’s also a little daunting. Because what if God says, “Yes. Sure. Here you go, Elijah.”

I know that children touch God’s heart. I know that He hears their prayers and answers because those little ones faithfully, unwaveringly believe.

But my little believer won’t be the one up for nighttime feedings, or changing endless diapers, or dealing with some of the less-than-pleasant things about pregnancy and childbirth, no matter that he has volunteered to take care of the baby for us since “I’m the one praying for it.”

That’ll be Mommy, with Daddy’s help. Having already done this twice, knowing what I’d be getting into can be a little unnerving. It’s almost worse, at times, than when we were first-time parents who didn’t know anything.

Of course, we also know the good side of having children. Babies are precious, beautiful, miraculous gifts from God. They bring so much joy and delight. Watching each child become their own little person is amazing, and I truly love being a mother.

So, now I’m praying, but my prayer is this: “Not my will, but Yours be done.”

I guess, my big boy and I are learning to trust God’s plan together.

Feature image picture courtesy of Picture Bliss Photography.

Josiah and the Bug

October 3, 2015

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Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Out of the Mouth of Babes, Josiah and the Bug. How ants and sin are similar.

My two-year-old, Josiah, has a love-hate relationship with bugs and other creepy crawlies. On one hand, he is fascinated by what they look like, what they do, and how they move. He can watch them from a distance or read about them with his big brother all day.

On the other hand, if even a fly gets too close to him, he will scream. If a bug actually lands on him or crawls across his shoe – watch out! He will freak out, flail, scream, and cry until that bug is nowhere to be seen.

This summer proved to be a trying time for Josiah, as ants, both sugar and carpenter, were finding ways to infiltrate our house, along with the usual summertime don’t-leave-the-door-open pests of flies and mosquitoes.

The ants were the worst, though. The sugar ants love our kitchen, of course, and our dark granite-looking countertops are not helpful. Do you know how hard it is to see a black ant on a black, speckled surface? The ants must know, and they take full advantage of it. Keeping food cleaned up and putting out ant traps helped keep them at bay, though.

The carpenter ants kept popping up in the bathroom or living room, scurrying across the floors or up the wall. These became Josiah’s nemeses. He was on the constant look out for them and would yell for me to come kill them when he saw them.

Then one day, he was sitting on the floor near me and told me, not really panicky or whiney but with just a hint of distress,

“Mommy, bug in my mouth.” Then he spit.

Looking over I realized that he did, in fact, have bits of an ant in his mouth. There was only one way that would have happened.

“Did you put it in your mouth,” I asked.

His simple reply was, “Yeah.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Okay.”

I chuckled at his silliness. He hates bugs, but he put one in his mouth, only to complain that a bug was in his mouth. I don’t know why he even touched it, let alone tried to eat it. I guess he was curious?!?

Yuck.

But I guess that ant is kind of like sin. We don’t particularly like sin to touch us, but it can be fascinating enough to spark our curiosity. Then, if you allow yourself to follow that spark, before you know it, you’re not only fascinated, you’re curious enough to touch it, taste it. And then…well, it’s not so great. We don’t really love the consequences that it brings, and every sin brings consequences.

So we go to God, if we’re smart. We tell him about it, the sooner, the better.

He says, “Did you do this?”

Hopefully, we’ll answer honestly, “Yeah.” (And add, “I was wrong. I’m sorry. I repent.”)

“Don’t do that.” (And He’ll add, “I forgive you, and I love you.”)

“Okay.” (And, “Thank you. I don’t deserve it, but You are merciful and gracious. I love you, too.”)

And hopefully we’ll have learned, like Josiah did, that it’s not a good idea, and we won’t do it again.

“For whom the Lord loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights.” Proverbs 3:12

“If you love Me, keep My commandments.” John 14:15

Elijah and the Clean Water

October 2, 2015

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Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Out of the Mouth of Babes - Elijah and the Clean Water. Responding to needs with prayer and action.

One day last summer, then-4-year-old Elijah was being especially whiney and demanding, complaining about things that he “needed,” such as new toys. Being a stubborn child, he can be rather argumentative when he thinks he’s right (I can’t imagine where he gets that!), so I decided the best way to deal with it was to show him what real “need” was about.

A quick search through YouTube brought me to a video from World Vision that focused on a young woman in rural Africa and her daily trek to get clean water for her family to drink.

After watching the video with him, we talked about how we are very rich compared to so many people in the world, and while he was busy complaining about getting more “stuff,” some children just want the very basic necessities to survive, like food and water. He initially suggested that they just go to the store and get some, but then I reminded him of how poor they were and how that isn’t an option for them as it is for us.

Elijah has always been a generous boy. He loves giving people gifts he’s made – cards, crafts, etc. – for no reason at all. His kindergarten teacher has received something from him nearly every day this year, even though I’ve told him that he doesn’t need to take her “gifts” all the time. And this past weekend, he HAD to give a picture he’d drawn of LEGOs to the guy who worked at the LEGO store.

Seeing how thankful others were for a simple drink of clean water definitely touched that giving heart of his. That night when we prayed, he asked God to “give all the people of the world good water.”

But he’s taken it even farther. The day we watched the video, he told me, “I will try to save money so I can give it to them, so everyone can come to Ohio and have clean water.” He even talked about saving money so that he could travel to them and take them money and water.

Then last fall when he heard that both of his grandpas would be going on mission trips (One to Belize, and one to Grenada), he raided his piggy banks. He told me that he wanted to send his money to help the people get water. Even when I explained that clean water might not be an issue for those countries, or at least in the areas where his grandpas were going, he still wanted to send money to help in some way. So, we divided his change into a couple of sandwich bags and marked them with his grandpas’ names.

Photo courtesy Grandpa Lape

I was so proud of my little boy and his big heart. But I don’t think anyone was more proud or excited than Elijah when he was able to give his money to his grandpas, knowing it would go to those in need.

His exuberance in giving was convicting. He was the epitome of the cheerful giver of 2 Corinthians 9: 6 & 7, and a sweet echo of the widow who gave her two mites (Mark 12 & Luke 21).

I love that when he saw a need, he responded, not just with prayer but with action, too. He knew, trusting with a child’s faith, that praying meant God would help, but he also decided that HE would help however he could. I am praying that this is a lifelong pattern for him.

Of course, being a child, he still has his moments of “give me” and “I want.” (Then again, so do we as adults.) However, to this day, he continues to pray every so often about the “people who don’t have water.” This lets me know that seeds of the Great Commission are firmly rooted in his heart. He has the beginnings of an awareness of what true need is, and he has grabbed on to the joy of giving to help reach those needs.

Recognizing another’s need and caring enough and being willing to give and sacrifice to do something about it – that’s God’s heart. And it’s encouraging and inspiring to see it being mirrored in my child’s.

Elijah and the Snorkel Mask

October 1, 2015

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Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Out of the Mouth of Babes - Elijah and the Snorkel Mask. A reminder to be prepared in your armor before the battle strikes.

Our oldest son, Elijah, is 5 years old, and like most young children, he enjoys pretend play and dressing up as super heroes, robots, pirates, ninjas, and any other silly characters he comes up with. He has a pretty great imagination, and one item can spark a huge story in his world.

I would venture to guess that rarely a day goes by when he isn’t wearing something goofy or quirky, even if it’s just a pair of sunglasses or a bracelet he’s made out of pipe cleaners (he’s also very crafty). This includes Sundays and, often, Sunday mornings. He knows he can’t wear his really crazy stuff in to church, but there have been several Sundays when I’ll glance back at him while we’re riding, only to find he’s added something to his ensemble, if only for the car ride.

One Sunday this spring when I looked back at him, I saw this:

I have no idea where he found the snorkel mask. I think it was in a stash of summer water toys in our laundry room, but he had to have brought it out to the car with him and then put it on later as we were driving along (Kids can be so quick and sneaky!). He wasn’t really doing much, except for watching the countryside scenery pass by. He smiled at me as though it were the most normal thing in the world for him to be wearing a snorkel mask…in the car… on the way to church. I guess for him, it is. Haha.

I love my big boy, and I love that he is still so happy just being a child. So, I grinned at him and snapped a picture of this latest silliness.

Our route to church is mainly back roads in central Ohio, so we’re generally surrounded by farmland with fields of corn, soybeans, wheat, or cattle, and a few minutes down the road, we came alongside a field that had been freshly fertilized. Oh, the smell! There isn’t much you can do in those moments except keep driving through, so that’s what we did, with a little “Peee-ewwwing!”

From the backseat, we heard Elijah say, “It’s a good a thing I have on a mask.”

Even though he was being silly (I think), he did have a good point.

God has given us armor, according to Ephesians 6: 10-18, and most of us know that. We like to talk about all the pieces and what they represent. But that armor is only useful to us when we have it on, and have it on BEFORE a battle begins.

Trying to put on the snorkel mask after we’d enter the stinky section of the trip would not have helped Elijah at all (not sure that it truly helped him having it on beforehand, really, but we’ll assume it did to help me make my point). And yet, so many of us seek God only when we’re in the midst of trouble and try to build our spiritual strength suddenly with some extra Bible cramming and prayer time, throwing in some fasting when we’re really in earnest.

That’s not the time to do it. The Bible tells us to “take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.” (Eph. 6:13 NKJV) In the Good News Translation, it reads like this: “So put on God’s armor now! Then when the evil day comes, you will be able to resist the enemy’s attacks; and after fighting to the end, you will still hold your ground.”

We have God’s Word and God’s Spirit to help PREPARE us to fight, to stand. We are to be seeking God always, daily putting on the armor He’s given to us, even when our life seems to be peaceful and happy.

You never know when you’ll have to face a battle or when the enemy will attack. Trouble doesn’t wait for you to get your armor on.

Just ask Elijah – you want to have your snorkel mask on BEFORE you come alongside that fertilized field.