Category - Family

We Prayed. He Answered.

June 13, 2016

For over a year, Elijah has been praying faithfully for one thing. Every night when we say our bedtime prayers, his very first words are, “Dear Jesus, thank You for this day. Please help Mommy to have another baby…”

And it’s not just habit. I’ve asked him about it. He has been praying, believing, and full of faith that God will answer his prayers. In fact, as I shared back in October, he is so confident that he was checking my belly for a baby after only three nights of praying. He has since checked a couple others times, as well.

With that kind of persistence and faith, it wasn’t long before Josiah took up the cause, too, adding “Thank you for the baby in Mommy’s tummy,” to his own prayers.

Of course, Brad and I have been praying, as well, but not just that we would have another child, but rather, that we would have another child if that was God’s plan for us and our family. We’ve prayed and sought God’s will and timing for each of our children, and we’ve never set a definite number for how big or small our family would be because we believe that God has a say in this, one of the most important areas of our lives. We’ve always used “precaution” until we felt that God said, “Ok, it’s time to have a baby.” And that might sound silly to some, waiting for God’s leading in when you have children, but I know with both of our boys, that once we knew we had His green light, I was pregnant within a few weeks. (I love how my friend Denise explains their approach to growing their family. She says it so well, and it’s exactly the way that Brad and I have looked at it.)

So, with Elijah and Josiah both praying for a sibling, Brad and I began really asking God what He had planned for us, and while three children had always been a consideration for us, we weren’t certain and needed to know.

Then one day I felt God tell me, “Be open to four.”

I laughed at first, not necessarily because I didn’t believe God could give us four, but because that would be just like God to say, “This is what you think the plan is, but here is what MY plan is.”

And knowing that Brad was still trying to wrap his mind around the possibility of three, four would be kind of a leap ahead.

When I told Brad, I said, “Maybe it’s because we’re supposed to have one more and then adopt. Maybe we’ll have twins, maybe we’ll adopt two. I don’t know. Maybe God just wants to remind us that we don’t want to box Him in. We need to be open to whatever He has for us because no matter what it is, it will be better than our plans anyway.”

So we have been prayerfully awaiting God’s direction for our family.

And now we have an answer, at least the next part of it.

We are happy to announce that in December, we will be welcoming Baby Lape #3 to our family.

(We have been assured by the ultrasound tech that there is only one baby. Since my dad is a twin and twins run in my family, I always have her double check.)

Our boys are ecstatic, and so are we. We know from experience how love multiplies and makes room for more, so we are very excited to meet our newest addition.

The boys are both hoping for a girl, since, as Elijah says, “We don’t have any girls in our house except for you, Mommy,” but Brad and I will be happy either way. We have everything we’d need for a boy, and we’re getting pretty good with raising them. Of course, we’d also love a girl, which would end the boy-streak on my side of the family (all grandsons – 8 in a row), give Brad and I both a chance to experience raising a daughter, and mean that we’d have some fun shopping to do. (We’ll find out the gender at the end of July.)

For now we are just celebrating this new tiny little life, planning for all the transitions and new adventures we’ll be facing as a family, and the boys’ prayers (and our) have switched to “Thank Yous” and prayers for the baby’s safe development over the next months and help for Mommy with all the pregnancy “fun.”

I love that our boys get to see God answering their prayers, and I’m thankful that they had to wait a while for that answer to come. They are learning early on that God’s timing doesn’t always match ours, but if we trust Him and His plan with faith and patience, we’ll be blessed no matter how or when He answers.

Images courtesy of Picture Bliss Photography.

My Strategy to Thrive During Summer Vacation

May 16, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven: My Strategy to Thrive During Summer Vacation. WIth a plan for flexible structure, individual responsibilities and chores, and lots of fun activities this summer, I hope that our family can more than survive summer vacation. Lots of helpful links for how we can thrive as a family, enjoy our time together, and make great memories.

We are only about a week from the start of Elijah’s summer vacation. Over the last two weeks, thanks to built-in school calamity days that didn’t get used this winter, Elijah has had Fridays off, and I’ve had a small glimpse of what it’s going to be like to have all my boys at home all day again.

It hasn’t been pretty.

You would think that it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. I mean, I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for nearly eight years. I’ve dealt with my boys being with me all day, done my grocery shopping and errands with them all in tow, and managed to cook meals and keep the house clean while they are clamoring for attention or fighting with each other.

But apparently, I’ve gotten soft over this school year, used to the ease of having only two children for most of the day.

From previous summer vacation experience, I know I needed to start preparations now if we’re going to have a good summer all together. So, I have put together a 3-point strategy to survive our summer vacation.

1. STRUCTURE

Not only do children need it, but I accomplish so much more when I have an organized plan of action for my day. Now that I’ll have both older boys again, I’ll need to adjust my school-year daily schedule and transition it to a summer vacation daily routine.

I say “routine” because I’m not going to set specific times for everything, but maybe more just a general idea of what we should be doing “around-about” when. I don’t intend to schedule every moment of our day – that’s just a recipe for frustration when you have children. Flexibility is key! For example, if my boys would by some miracle actually sleep in, I’m not waking them up for a scheduled breakfast unless we have to be somewhere that day. Nope – if that would happen, we will all revel in it, and I’d totally take advantage of it! 🙂

(Of course, I’m not counting on many of those days because even now, they pop out of bed on the weekends (or days off school) earlier than even school days because, as Josiah says, “it’s sunny now.”)

Not only do I plan to have a general schedule for the day, but I’m also going to make sure that the boys know how the day should go. While looking for inspiration for my summer strategy, I saw this cute printable “Morning Checklist” for kids from Not Consumed. Since we won’t be doing school work over the summer, I may recreate this idea and make it fit our plans, but the idea is great.

I love that the checklist includes a devotional time and a reminder to do daily chores because my next strategy point goes right along with that.

2. RESPONSIBILITIES

Since my older two boys are getting old enough to take on a few daily chores, this is definitely something we’re going to incorporate into our summer strategy. Right now, Elijah’s big responsibilities have been feeding our dog and bringing down his dirty clothes in the morning, while Josiah just gets to help Mommy throughout the day as he can.

Josiah likes helping whenever it means he gets to play in the dirt.

This summer, I’m going to up the ante a bit for them both by adding an item or two to their daily chores. I’m sure they are going to LOVE this part. (Hahahaha).

Of course, since they are both still learning, I know that they will need a lot of instruction and supervision, at least at first, with some of the more “big kid” tasks. However, teaching them now means they’ll be really good at it when they get older. 🙂 (My mom was awesome for “encouragement” and an answer when we were young and doing chores. If we complained that we did it all the time, she’d tell us, “Then you should be able to do it quickly and really well.” If we tried to use the excuse that we weren’t good at it or didn’t know how, guess what? “Now, you can practice/learn.” Haha.)

For help with this strategy point, I’ve pooled all kinds of resources from Pinterest, including age-appropriate chore ideas and printable chore charts.

Preschool Chore Charts

15 Chores Ideas for 4-year-olds

34 Free Printable Chore Charts for Kids of All Ages

38 Age-Appropriate Chores for Kids

Editable Chore Cards for Kids (This one even gives them step-by-step directions!)

3. ACTIVITIES

Of course, I won’t expect my boys to spend the summer slaving away for me. I’m definitely not going to!

So, I need to have a healthy stash of activities ready to go once we’ve completed all our responsibilities for the day. I already know that my boys enjoy visiting the nearby parks, plus we plan to participate in our library’s summer reading program, and we can always visit family and friends for play dates. For what we can do at home, my boys like our Homemade Sidewalk Paint and playing with bubbles or on their swing set, so those are always on the list, but I’ve also gathered some new ideas for ways to make memories and spend a fun summer afternoon.

One of the easiest summer activities that my boys love is going on a picnic.

50 Fun and Free Summer Activities for Kids

32 Summer Boredom Busters

Summer Activity Schedule for Kids (Free Printable)

Summer Bucket List – 150+ Activities for Kids

21 Fun Summer Activities

And if they seem to find that structure, responsibilities, and the activities I’ve come up with aren’t enough, I’ve also found this great little printable to help them out when they think they are “bored.” (Elijah likes that word lately, so this is definitely going up in his room.) 🙂

Having been through “summer vacation” before, I know that my strategy isn’t all that we’ll need, but having a plan is better than being completely unprepared, right? Hopefully with a little organization, planning, and advance preparation, we can sail through this summer fairly happily, making great memories and enjoying the time we have together so much that we’ll hate to see it end. My hope for this summer vacation is to more than survive it. I want us to thrive in it together as a family. That sounds like a good plan to me. 🙂

WHAT IS YOUR SUMMER SURVIVAL STRATEGY?

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The Importance of Storytelling Daddies

May 12, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven: The Importance of Storytelling Daddies. There is just something about playing make-believe or listening to adventurous stories told by your daddy. It's a great way to create memories and bond with your children in a way they will always remember.

When I was little, maybe about four or five, I can remember lying down beside my dad in our little side porch/sun room, with my older brother on the other side of him. It was either afternoon or early evening, so maybe Dad was keeping us occupied so my mom could get my younger brother down for a nap. I don’t remember that part. What I remember most is that we were listening to my father tell us stories about “Ishewa,” a little Native American boy who always seemed to have great adventures, and that day he was going on a bear hunt with his father.

I mentioned the “Ishewa stories” to my dad a while ago, and he was surprised that I remembered them. I don’t remember too many of the storylines, just that my dad was a great storyteller, and I loved the characters that he made up for us. His affinity for American history, including Native American life (his paternal grandmother was part Cherokee), and his hobbies of hunting and fishing and general rambles in the woods combined to give his stories authenticity and a slightly educational element, but he always made them fun and exciting. His tales might be one of the things that encouraged my love for historical fiction books. 🙂

Given how much I like to read and write, you’d think that I’d be the storyteller in our little family, but I’m not. While I do make up stories for our boys on occasion and sometimes even sing them per Elijah’s request, which is harder, my stories are always random.

When our children look back at their childhood, the stories I’m certain they’ll both remember best are the ones their daddy tells them and enacts with them. Those stories are called “Big Bad Bear, Baby Bear, Little Boy, Big Boy, and Monkey in the Woods.” (Yeah, it’s a mouthful…)

Started when Josiah was still a little one, these kooky adventures take place when Daddy and the boys go upstairs to play together. It’s a combination game and storytelling, as they come up with new “episodes” every time they play. (Elijah tends to think of these stories like a TV series.) Daddy narrates, and the boys offer suggestions of what will happen “today on this episode of ‘Big Bad Bear, Baby Bear, Little Boy, Big Boy, and Monkey in the Woods.’” While Josiah is “Little Boy,” and Elijah is known as “Big Boy,” they use their stuffed animals for the rest of the characters. “Big Bad Bear” is a gray bear puppet whose character is more grumpy than bad. “Monkey” is one of those toy monkeys with really long arms and legs that you can Velcro around you, and he’s a crazy, clumsy monkey who always ends up falling down our stairs. “Baby Bear” is the teddy bear that Elijah snuggles at night. They also always visit “Grandma Monkey” at some point in the story, and she cooks them yummy food.

I don’t know all the craziness that goes on, but I hear it: the laughter, the running, Brad doing silly voices, and my boys having a wonderful time. I’ve been tempted to join in before, but this is their thing with Daddy. It’s more special that way.

If a father telling his son stories that include the child’s stuffed animals sounds familiar, you may be thinking of A.A. Milne, who did the same thing with his little boy, Christopher Robin, and his teddy bear, Winnie the Pooh. Apparently fathers and storytelling is a thing in more than our family.

And for good reason. While Brad’s storytelling technique is definitely different than my dad’s (and far different than A.A. Milne’s), the end results are pretty much the same: memories, bonding, a shared adventure, and children who know that they are important to their daddy because he takes time to play and imagine with them. (They also give moms a break. Haha)

As moms we have lots of opportunities with our children to bond and make memories. They know we love them because we snuggle them, kiss boo-boos, make them cookies, sing them songs, read them stories, and 50 million other things throughout a day. It’s kind of easy for us.

But our kids need special moments with their daddies, too. Who better to lead them on wild (pretend) adventures and daring (imagined) feats than their big, strong daddy? (Remember, I’m a girl, and my father was telling me about a bear hunt, not a princess tea party, and I still cherish that story).

So, mamas, step back (if you have to) and give them those moments, and daddies, take them. Make time to spend with your little ones just playing make-believe, and create stories together that they’ll remember for the rest of the lives.

Because, trust me, they may forget the storylines over time, but they’ll never forget you were the one telling the story.

Feature image courtesy of Picture Bliss Photography.

JUNK CEREAL SATURDAY: How an Idea from My Hubby Makes Breakfast Easier Every Day

April 14, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven - Junk Cereal Saturday: How an Idea from My Hubby Makes Breakfast Easier Every Day. Mornings have enough reasons for stress and kids arguing. What cereal my boys can eat for breakfast isn't one of them. A rule that my hubby and I decided on before our boys were born helps us keep them making healthy choices without missing the fun and makes our Saturday morning memorable and special.

Recently a mom friend of mine was talking about her kids and how one of them wanted a certain not-so-great cereal all the time – breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner. Having a picky eater myself, I know that struggle is real. However, it made me appreciate a rule about cereal that my hubby and I decided on for our home before our boys had ever had any.

When Brad and I first met, he was not a breakfast eater. However, once we were married, he got into the habit of at least having something, mostly because I HAVE to eat breakfast, and he would have breakfast with me.

At some point, either when I was pregnant with Elijah or shortly after he was born, Brad and I had a discussion about breakfast and what cereals we would allow our children to eat. Being the more health-conscious parent, my rules were no artificial dyes and lower sugar content, with more natural, nutritious, and organic options being preferred.

Brad, however, made a stand for allowing fun cereals, or what we call “junk cereals,” at least on occasion. Junk cereals would be all the ones you always wanted as a kid – you know, they have an engaging mascot on a brightly colored box that usually advertises an exciting “prize” hidden among the not-good-for-you-at-all-but-delicious-and-sugary O’s, flakes, or clusters.

Bringing in a good dose of nostalgia to his arguments, Brad painted the picture of waking early on a Saturday morning and enjoying that type of cereal while watching cartoons in your pajamas.

“They at least need that option on Saturday,” he stated. He wanted his children to have those fun memories that he did. Either that, or he just wanted that kind of cereal for himself. Haha. I think it was both.

So we reached a compromise: Junk Cereal Saturday.

Since that day, our boys have grown up knowing that Sunday through Friday, they have to pick from our healthiest options on the days we eat cereal (Cereal or oatmeal are usually the go-to, especially on school days. Bigger breakfasts with eggs, pancakes, or something more involved happen when I have more time in the mornings.)

We have no whining or begging for those “fun” cereals because they know the Junk Cereal Saturday rule, and like anything else with parenting, when you lay out the guidelines and stick to them without wavering from the start, the kids are less likely to push those boundaries. The few times that the boys have asked for a junk cereal during the week, all we have to do is remind them that that particular cereal is for Saturday.

Because of this, Saturday is extra special for our boys, and they get genuinely excited when they remember that it’s Junk Cereal day. They get to indulge in the fun cereals, and they love it.

Of course, being the sneaky Mom that I am, I still make sure that even our “junk cereals” are relatively healthy. There are so many options now for more natural, dye-free cereals that look fun and taste yummy that it’s pretty easy. We love Kashi, Barbara’s, Cascadian Farms, Mom’s Best, and Aldi’s Simply Nature. Since they only eat junk cereal once a week, it lasts, too, so even if it’s not on sale, we aren’t spending too much. (But I always stock up when good cereal is on sale or I have a coupon!) I’ve even had the boys ask me if a certain cereal is “junk cereal,” hoping that it is, and I just say, “Sure. It can be,” even when, in my mind, it isn’t. Haha.

Knowing that they get to look forward to a special cereal on a day that they can really enjoy it makes my boys’ choices (and attitudes) in the morning easier every day of the week. Knowing that my boys aren’t filling up on empty calories and junk that their growing little bodies don’t need (and we don’t need either) makes my morning easier. Having a guideline set out that we all know and accept makes the mornings easier for us all.

And yes, on most Saturdays, you can find my boys in their pajamas, munching on their special cereal, and watching their cartoons with Mommy and Daddy, enjoying Junk Cereal Saturday to the fullest.

Does your family have a unique food rule or favorite Saturday tradition?

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Tried It Tuesday: My Kids’ New Favorite Board Game

April 5, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven - Tried It Tuesday: My Kids' New Favorite Board Game. With all the gifts my son received for his birthday, I didn't expect this simple, but cute, board game to be his new favorite game to play. Our whole family enjoys this award-winning game.

This post contains an affiliate link, which means at no additional cost to you, I may receive a small commission when you make a purchase through the link.

With Josiah’s recent birthday, he has had an influx of new toys, clothes, and games to enjoy.

Of all the things he received for his birthday, there is one thing that both he and Elijah have been playing with more than any other: The Sneaky Snacky Squirrel Game.

I could claim all kinds of “awesome parent” points for this since it was from Mommy & Daddy, and I picked out the game… except that with Easter and birthday party prep, I kind of overlooked getting him a present until a couple days before his birthday. (Brad and I have been considering getting the boys a swing set or playset for our yard, but we hadn’t found one yet, so we kept putting off getting Josiah’s birthday gifts, just in case we came across a swing set before his birthday.)

Thankfully, my instincts were good on this one. I knew I had seen comments about how much families liked this award-winning game, so I figured it would be worth a try. Besides, we (read: Mommy) can only play so many games of Candyland.

The boys even played this game in their blanket fort.

From the minute we opened the box, the boys were intrigued (and fighting over the adorable “squirrel squeezer”). With their little tree trunks in front of them, they barely let me read over the very easy directions before they started trying to play.

It’s a really simple game with a spinner, acorns in five different colors, tree trunks for “stashing” your acorns, and the aforementioned cute little squirrel squeezer that you use to pick up the acorns. The object of the game is to collect all 5 colors of acorns before anyone else, but you have to watch out for obstacles on the spinner that slow you down: the Sad Squirrel that causes you to lose your turn and the wind storm that blows all your acorns back to the main tree.

Without a doubt, our boys’ favorite thing to land on is the Sneaky Squirrel because then they get to steal an acorn from someone else. They are positively delighted to get to be so mischievous. Of course, they don’t really enjoy it when someone else steals their acorn, so it’s been a great game for teaching them to be a good sport.

That first day we played several rounds of the game, and we’ve played it nearly every day since. They played it with their grandparents, and Josiah even took it over to his cousins’ house this past week to introduce them to the fun. Watching the four boys play it together was hilarious and precious. They all loved the sense of accomplishment when they managed to collect all their acorns and win a game.

As a parent, I appreciate the simplicity of the game, which makes it easy for my 3-year-old to play without help, while not being too young for my 5-year-old (or Brad and I) to have fun. The game is designed to help encourage color identification, as well as matching, sorting, strategic thinking, hand-eye coordination, fine motor skills and pre-handwriting skills, and I can already see improvement for Josiah in some of those areas.

So even if it was more of a last-minute gift, it has turned out to be a great one, one that our entire family enjoys playing, and one that has easily become our boys’ new favorite board game.

The Happy Talent of Play

March 31, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven: The Happy Talent of Play. We need to encourage our children to develop their talent for play and make sure that our own skills in that area stay sharp, too.

The other day as I was folding clothes in the living room, the boys were playing a few feet away. Elijah is on Spring Break this week, and while they had been crazy earlier, fighting and whining, Elijah and Josiah were behaving well now and getting along happily. In fact, they were loudly enjoying themselves.

As I worked, instead of blocking them out, I intentionally tuned in through the chaos of the boys playing together to listen to what and how they were playing together.

Just on the other end of the couch where I was stacking clean clothes, the boys had constructed a “fort” with a blanket stretched from the main couch to the end table to the smaller chaise we’d brought down from upstairs on Saturday for more party seating for Josiah’s birthday.

From their little corner hideaway came the giggles and chatter that only come from true play and imagining. With nearly all the pillows in the house either underneath them as their floor or propped up against the piano bench as doors, the boys were pretending to be a king (Elijah) and a prince (Josiah).

I’m not certain what their storyline was because it changed frequently. However, I gathered that there was a “bad guy” that they had to fight, but they didn’t want to leave their castle. With my suggestion that they post trustworthy guards at the gate when they went to battle, Josiah’s new stuffed Chewbacca was recruited and placed at the opening of their fortress.

Probably the best thing I heard that day was their conversation with their new guard as they prepared to go fight:

Elijah: “How many people have tried to get into the castle?”

(Elijah pushes the button on the talking Chewbacca): “Arrrrgghroooowrrr arraaggh.”

Elijah: “Eleven million?”

Chewbacca: “Arrrggghrooowrrr.”

Elijah: “Ok.” To Josiah, “He’s put them all in the jail. Let’s go.”

Josiah: “Ok. Let’s go get the bad guy.”

Chewy makes a pretty impressive guard – he put eleven million people in jail in one day!

I love it when my boys really play like this, using their imaginations and creativity, rather than just wanting to sit and stare at a tablet or TV screen (we like technology and media, but we don’t want our children to be bogged down by it). Actual play allows them to build memories together and bond as brothers and friends, learning how to get along and find unique solutions to resolve their imaginary (and real) conflicts.

I especially love when I can witness them playing together or better yet, join in with them. (Post-birthday-party clean-up had me playing a bit of catch-up with the housework first, though. I did, however, get to play some “Sneaky, Snacky Squirrel” with them a bit later.)

From the time our boys could speak, one of their favorite questions for Brad and me is, “Will you play with me/us?”

And while we know we can’t be at their beck and call all day long, we do our best to get down on the floor, or under the blanket fort, or out in the yard, and play along.

Today we had a chance to visit a local park as a family for about an hour or so, running around the huge playground and exploring the pathways and pond. As we wandered around the area, we went through a rather nice shelter house that had this saying carved over one of the two fireplaces (seriously, fireplaces in the shelter house):

“It is a happy talent to know how to play.” Emerson

Brad laughed at me for snapping a picture of the quote, but I wanted to make sure I didn’t forget it later.

We were there with our boys, playing, nurturing a talent that I want them to use every day for the rest of their lives and making sure that Brad and I don’t let our own talent for play get rusty.

As parents, we like to encourage our kids in practicing piano or learning to draw or developing any other number of skills, giftings, and abilities that God has given them. This little quote reminded me that I also want my boys to be very talented in knowing how to play, to create their own fun, to make-believe and pretend, and to find joy and adventure in a simple walk around the block or a dash across a field.

We can’t forget the importance of this talent, in both our children and ourselves.

If you need a little inspiration, here are some fun quotes about the importance of play:

“Those who play rarely become brittle in the face of stress or lose the healing capacity for humor.” –Stuart Brown, M.D.

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” – George Bernard Shaw

“Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.” – Mark Twain

“Children need the freedom and time to play. Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity.” – Kay Redfield Jamison

“Play keeps us vital and alive. It gives us an enthusiasm for life that is irreplaceable. Without it, life just doesn’t taste good.” – Lucia Capocchione

“Do not…keep children to their studies by compulsion but by play.” – Plato

“Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood.” – Fred Rogers

“Surely all God’s people…like to play.” – John Muir

“A child who does not play is not a child, but the man who does not play has lost forever the child who lived in him.” – Pablo Neruda