Tag - child

Walking Closely

March 10, 2016

How Doggie-Doo & My 3-Year-Old Point to God

Due to my hubby’s and Elijah’s allergies, when we got a dog a couple years ago, we knew we would have to go with a more hypoallergenic breed. Through God’s provision, we were able to bring home a 5-year-old chocolate Labradoodle named Vincent, or Vinny for short.

This giant teddy bear of a dog has brought lots of joy to our home…and occasionally some frustration. For example, he likes to “counter-surf,” meaning snatching food off the kitchen counters whenever he can, and since his muzzle is almost at the same height as the counters, he can grab things rather easily if we aren’t around. (He once ate an entire box of beautiful, delicious cookies that we’d just brought home from a friend’s wedding!)

With the spring thaw, another frustration has come back into play: Vinny’s…umm…”doggie-doo” – all over the yard where my boys are very excited to play. Of course, we understand that this is all part of having a dog, and even the Bible says “where no oxen (or dogs, in our case) are, the trough is clean…” (Proverbs 14:4).

But have you ever tried to direct a clumsy nearly-3-year-old, who INSISTS on running full speed AND in a zig-zag, across a yard littered with dog leavings?

The odds are generally NOT in your favor, but thankfully, I beat the odds the other day.

On the return from the mailbox, though, Josiah was excited to be carrying a flyer into the house for me, so getting him to pay attention to me or his steps sounded more like this:

“Come here, Josiah. Walk over here by Mommy. No, this way. Stay with Mommy. No. Watch where you’re stepping. Don’t go over there. Josiah, come here. Careful! Grab my hand.” All the way to the back door.

*Sigh*

Technically, he was walking with me, but he wasn’t walking as “with me” as he could. He was determined to prove his independence (being almost 3, he’s been showing his “threeness” early, but thoroughly), while all I wanted to do was keep him safe from potential disaster. He would wander a bit closer to me, but then dart off again, just out of reach. I saw all the near-misses he somehow managed to pull-off even though he was completely oblivious to them.

Kids, huh?

And yet…we can do the same thing to God that Josiah did (does) to me.

We want to do things our way. We want to make the decisions. We want to be walking with God, but maybe not as “with Him” as we could be. That would mean giving up some of our independence. At times we’ll draw closer, but do we STAY close? And how many near-misses does God see that we are completely oblivious to?

Just like my heart toward Josiah, God doesn’t want us close so He can just dictate to us or prove He’s in charge.

He wants us close so He can lead our steps, direct us, and protect us from things we aren’t even aware of.

He wants us close so He can hold our hand, and we can share the adventure together.

“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way.” ~ Psalm 37:23

A Celebration of Seuss

March 1, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven: A Celebration of Seuss. For Dr. Seuss' birthday, I'm sharing our favorite quotes and our family's memories from reading his classic books, such as The Cat in the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham, Fox in Socks, and One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish.

March 2 marks the birthday of author and illustrator Theodore Seuss Geisel, better known as “Dr. Seuss.” His books, full of whimsical and wacky characters, silly, made-up words, and fun, quotable rhymes have introduced generations of children to the joy of reading and inspired their imaginations.

While I grew up reading and loving his books (I even used The Cat in the Hat as the basis for an essay on contentment in high school), having children means that I’m getting to enjoy them all over again. From the time Elijah was just a few months old, we have been reading Dr. Seuss books to him, and now to him, Josiah, and even Isaiah, at nap time, bed time, and random times throughout our days.

(This post contains affiliate links, which means that at no additional cost to you, I may receive a small commission when you purchase through the links. See my full disclosure for details.)

We started out with a couple of Bright and Early Board Books, which are abridged versions of Dr. Seuss classics and perfect for toddlers. I’m pretty sure one of the reasons that Elijah knew his alphabet before he was two was due to how many times we’d read Dr. Seuss’s ABC. In fact, I could quote the entire book from “Big A, little a, what begins with A?” all the way to “A Zizzer-Zazzer- Zuzz, as you can plainly see.”

We slowly added to our collection of Seuss, mostly by searching through the children’s books at thrift stores. I don’t know who is giving away these treasures, but when I can snag books like The Cat in the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham, and The Foot Book for 50-cents or a dollar, I get really excited! We’ve also bought some brand new for birthdays or Christmas.

The Seuss influence soon began showing up beyond Elijah’s alphabet. Around three-years-old, he created a sort of game, where he would randomly call out rhyming words. For example, we’d be in the car, and he’d say a word, such as “bee,” then he’d follow it with “me” and “tree,” and when Brad and I joined in with words, he’d giggle and keep going.

Elijah LOVED the rhyming in a Seuss book. His favorite book for a while (and one of my all-time favorites still) was One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish. His favorite sentence was one that I would rattle off very quickly, causing him to laugh and ask me to repeat that page over and over (thus why I could rattle it off!),

“You never yet

met a pet, I bet,

as wet as they let

this wet pet get.”

With all this affinity for words and reading, Elijah’s done very well in school with his reading (he’s consistently reading beyond his grade level), and he loves reading to us in the evenings.

One of the first “big” books that he wanted to tackle is the trickiest Dr. Seuss book I’ve ever read (and I’ve read pretty much all of them): Fox in Socks. It’s the only book that I have a love-hate relationship with because it’s a frustrating, tongue-twisting challenge every single time I read it.

However, Elijah, who literally cut his teeth on a Dr. Seuss board book, read it like a champ. I was so proud and impressed.

In case you’ve never read this one, which you totally should, here is just a sampling of the tongue-tangling rhymes in the book:

“Luke Luck likes lakes.

Luke’s duck likes lakes.

Luke Luck licks lakes.

Luke’s duck licks lakes.

Duck takes licks

in lakes Luke Luck likes.

Luke Luck takes licks

in lakes duck likes.”

(And if you’re thinking, “That one’s not too bad,” you’re right. I didn’t pick the hardest parts to share. I want you to actually WANT to read the book to your children.)

Not only is Elijah reading these books for himself, but he loves reading them to his brothers, which is sweet to see. They like to giggle together over the crazy words and silly stories.

When I told Elijah today about Dr. Seuss’s birthday, and how old he would have been, Elijah said, “I wish he hadn’t died yet. He probably would have had more ideas for different stories.”

As imaginative and creative as the man was, I’m certain he would have.

After all, he’s the one who wrote,

“Think left and think right

and think low and think high.

Oh, the thinks you can think up

if only you try!”

In honor of Dr. Seuss, March 2 has also been designated as Read Across America Day by the National Education Association. You can find activities and ideas on how to celebrate with your children here.

You can also find lots of whimsical fun at Seussville.com, the official site for all things Seuss, including games, crafts, and ways to bring the joy of reading to your children!

WHAT’S YOUR FAMILY’S FAVORITE DR. SEUSS BOOK?

Why I Capture Our “Everyday”

February 4, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven: Why I Capture Our "Everyday" - Getting pictures of my boys as they play and do ordinary, everyday things allows me to save and savor the moments and hold onto the story of their childhood.

Last week Elijah stayed home from school a couple days because of an ear infection, and I was given an opportunity to do something that I haven’t done nearly enough in recent months. Not only did I get to snuggle a little more with my big boy, but I also got to grab my camera and capture some moments of my two boys just being together.

I love adorable pictures of them dressed handsomely and smiling happily, but those perfectly posed shots rarely tell as much of a story as a simple picture of my children playing on the living room floor.

There is something so precious to my mommy heart about a candid moment between my two little guys as they build a tower or “race” their cars along the lines of the area rug.

It’s grabbing a piece of my “every day” and saving and savoring it.

Most days, by the time Elijah is home from school, I’m working on dinner, finishing up laundry, or some other housekeeping task while the boys are playing, so I usually miss out on just watching them and seeing how they interact (although I can always hear the giggles and little arguments). It’s not often that I get to sit and witness these seconds of their growing up together.

So one day last week, I was able to get belly-down to the floor and listen as Elijah, a typical older brother, directed Josiah on how they were playing with their castle, knights, blocks, and the random character toys they’d pulled from the toy box. I watched Josiah grin in awe and admiration of Elijah’s stair-buildings skills. And even though I didn’t take a picture of it, I saw Elijah’s frustration when Josiah accidentally knocked over parts of that stairway and his patience as they worked to build it back up.

: Building a stairway to the king.

: Pegasus is going up.

Sure I could have spent less time on the floor, just snatched up my phone, and taken a couple of shots, but that’s not what I wanted. Phone shots are almost always more for everybody else, for quickly sharing something, or in a pinch, catching a moment when my real camera isn’t nearby.

Of course, some people only think of taking out a “real” camera for special events – birthdays, weddings, trips to the zoo.

I like my camera for pictures from those things, too, but what I treasure are the pictures of my boys in the seemingly mundane, ordinariness of something they do every day.

Because it’s simply them being them. (And I LOVE them)

Playing together.

Photographs like this require me to slow down a bit and really pay attention to everything going into the picture.

These moments aren’t meant to be “just point, shoot, and post.” It’s about recording the story for them and for me.

Through my camera lens, I get to hold onto to this time when they imagine silly scenarios and create fantastic worlds together. Even though they seem so little now, I know it won’t be long before they are grown.

I want to take every chance that I can to treasure each day with these precious gifts from God, to notice the details of their average day, and capture the moments of their childhood while they are still children.

Of course, once I’ve gotten some pictures, I put my camera down and join their playing.

I don’t just want to capture their memories. I want to be a rather big part of them, too.

If you’d like to get better photos of your family, you can read my 4-part series, How to Take Better Pictures of Your Kids.

Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World – Review & Giveaway

January 25, 2016

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No one plans to raise a selfish child or spoiled brat. Every parent dreams of their child being selfless, generous, and appreciative. But it’s challenging to raise a grateful child in a culture that has a hard time saying no. We love our kids and want to give them the world. How do we say no to our child when “every other child” gets “everything they want?”

Kristen Welch, author of We are THAT family and founder of Mercy House, is learning the way to give the world to her children is by giving them perspective. She’s discovered the ultimate yes in bringing up faith-filled kids who love God and others.

It’s never too late to raise grateful kids. With Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World, get ready to cultivate a spirit of genuine gratitude in your family and create a home in which your kids don’t just say―but mean!― “thank you.”

Back in November, I read those words as I considered joining the launch team for this new parenting book (which releases tomorrow, Tuesday, January 26). While I felt as though my hubby and I were doing a fairly decent job of raising our boys, who are still young at almost-3-years-old and 5, to be considerate, compassionate, and grateful, I was also excited to discover what advice and affirmation Kristen’s book would hold. Having read her blog, We are THAT Family, I knew it would be full of insightful and Biblically-founded wisdom from her experiences with her family and her relationship with God.

I was right.

From the very first pages of the Introduction, I was being challenged and encouraged in my role as a Godly mother, to lay the right foundations for my children, even when it’s hard or they don’t think it’s fair. I was reading passages out loud to my husband and discussing the points that Kristen brought out.

As we got closer to Christmas, I wrote a post, “Why We Don’t Need More This Christmas,” about scaling back on the gifts for our children and ourselves. While this was an idea we’d already been working toward, as I read through the first chapters of Kristen’s book, which deal with the entitlement and self-centeredness of our culture, the idea of tempering our children’s expectations of Christmas became more than just a good idea, it became a starting point for change in our family’s mindset and expectations.

Through other circumstances at the time, I could see a lightbulb going off for my husband. Like me, he began to see the areas in his own life where entitlement had settled in and taken root long ago. It truly surprised him.

As the parents, we were discovering what Kristen did:

“And as uncomfortable as it sounds, parents who want less-entitled kids have to be less entitled themselves, and parents who want to raise more grateful kids need to start by living more grateful lives.”

As I made my way through the rest of the book, which challenges parents on everything from unsupervised or excessive use of technology to “participation awards” and not allowing our children to fail to preparing them to be okay with being different from the world, I noticed something that was pretty impressive.

In everyday situations, not only was I more aware of my own entitlement and therefore putting aside more of my selfishness, but I was responding to my children’s entitled or selfish tendencies more intentionally, utilizing the wisdom and tips I’d gained from reading Kristen’s experiences, sometimes without even realizing in the moment that I was doing it.

While I love the many, many take-aways and quotables from this book, the true mark of a great book is when it makes a change in you and when you can easily apply it lessons to your life.

Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World is one of those books, and I wish every parent would read it.

I know that I’m very grateful that I did.

—

You can pre-order a copy of the book, which releases tomorrow, at RaisingGratefulKids.com or from your favorite bookseller, such as Barnes & Noble or Amazon.

Here is an affiliate link for Amazon (which means that at no additional cost to you, I may receive a small commission if you use the link) since it is currently only $10 on their site: Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World.

You can also read the first chapter here on Tyndale’s site, and on Kristen’s We are THAT Family blog, you can download a free journal that goes along with the book.

If you would like to see more of my thoughts on Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World, you can check out “How My Children Remind Me to Pray with Gratitude” and “One Question I’ll Be Asking My Children (& Myself) Everyday.”

For more ideas on cultivating gratefulness in your home, you can follow my Raising Grateful Kids board on Pinterest. 🙂

—

~ GIVEAWAY ~

Because I think Kristen’s book is such a wonderful resource for parents, and I know that so many of you are eager to read it, I’m giving away a paperback copy to one of you!!!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thanks for entering! This contest is open to residents of the U.S. only and runs from Monday, January 25 (12:00 a.m.), through Friday, January 29, 2016, at 11:59pm EST (I know, specific.). The winner will be notified by email within 48 hours of the contest ending. Winner has 48 hours to respond before another winner is selected.

*I received an advanced digital copy of this book from Tyndale House Publishing as part of my participation on the launch team and in exchange for my honest review. My recommendation is based entirely on my enjoyment of the book.*

*Book image courtesy of Tyndale Publishing House.

One Question I’ll Be Asking My Children (& Myself) Everyday

January 21, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven: One Question I'll Be Asking My Children (& Myself) Everyday. Inspired by the book "Raising Grateful Kids an Entitled World" and in an effort to remind my children to think about others more, I'll be asking them this question at the end of each day.

This post contains Amazon affiliate links, which mean that at no additional cost to you, I may receive a small commission when you use the link.

Yesterday when I picked up Elijah from school, I did the same thing nearly every parent does when they see their children at the end of the day: I asked him, “How was your day?”

I actually hate that question. It’s so cliché, but even more so, it never really invites real conversation since the only answers you are likely to get are “Good” or “Fine.” Somedays Elijah will be really excited about something that happened, such as when he “clips up” to purple (the best spot on their behavior charts) and gets a prize. Otherwise, he doesn’t elaborate much with that question.

So, I generally try to ask more engaging, open-ended questions, such as, “What was the best part about today?” While that has been a decent question to get Elijah sharing, I wanted to be asking questions that encouraged him to see his day in a new way.

Since reading Kristen Welch’s (We are THAT Family) new book, Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World, I’ve found myself rethinking certain things that I say and do as a mom and how that sets my children’s expectations and attitudes.

For example, asking Elijah if he had a good time or fun day at school (or church or his grandparents, etc), reinforces the idea that he should always be having fun or made to be happy. Hmmmm.

As Kristen shared,

“I bought into the lie that it’s my job to make my kids’ childhood magical and fun, to guarantee that every day will be an adventure all about them.”

If that’s how we think, that’s what our children will expect. They will think life is 1) all about fun, and 2) all about them. Neither is true.

Kristen explained it this way,

“I think this requirement of being happy all the time is where entitlement thrives. In my parenting poll, when I asked, “What do you want most for your kids?” there were two main answers: I want them to follow Christ, and I want them to be happy. Sometimes both aren’t possible at the same time. Think about it. If we fix every problem, cater to every need, and bend over backwards to keep our kids happy all the time, we are setting them up for a false reality because life won’t always offer them the same courtesy.”

Sure, it’s an innocent question. Will he have a good time and fun at those places? Hopefully. However, he’s not going to school or church to be entertained or amused or comfortable. He’s going to learn and grow. (PS: Adults, church and school are not for YOUR entertainment or comfort, either. That whole “learning and growing” thing is for us, too.)

Spending time with family is not just about him, either. Is Grandpa fun? Yes. Will Grandma feed Elijah? Most likely. Does Elijah have to be the center of attention, or doing just what HE wants to the whole time we are there? No. I want him to be aware of others, even considering others before himself. I hope that I am doing the same.

So, instead of asking questions that make Elijah feel as though everyone else’s world should revolve around him and every day should be super awesome just for him, I want to ask him questions that shift his focus a little bit.

Yesterday, God put this question for Elijah in my heart.

While we were working on his snack, I asked him, “So, did you get to help anybody today?”

He paused for a second, and then his face lit up. LIT UP.

“Yes, well, sort of. I tried to help Harley with her coat, but I had my gloves on, so I couldn’t zip it all the way.”

Today, his answer was, “No,” somewhat sadly. Then, “No, wait! I DID help someone. I helped Julian tie his shoes.”

Do I want him to feel as though he HAS to do good deeds all day long? No. It’s not about works. It’s about awareness and perspective.

What if my asking him this one question each afternoon causes him to look for opportunities to reach out and help others every day? And what if my asking him that question does the same for me?

It’s just a reminder to think of others at least once during our day.

Then maybe one day when I ask him “What was the best part of your day?” and “Did you help someone today,” the answer to both will be the same thing.

That would be pretty cool.

—

For more of my thoughts on Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World:

How My Children Remind Me to Pray With Gratitude

Why We Don’t Need More This Christmas

You can pre-order Kristen’s book, which releases on January 26, by visiting RaisingGratefulKids.com or from Amazon, Christianbooks.com, or Barnes & Noble. If you’d like to read the first chapter, you can find it here.

Going on a Date with My 5-year-old

January 18, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven: Going on a Date with My 5-year-old. I didn't realize how important some Mommy and me time was to my son until I scheduled a date night for us to spend some time together, one-on-one. His excitement proved that it was something very special to him.

When Elijah brought home the flyer for a “Me and My Gal” night at his school, I admit – at first I dismissed it as something I didn’t particularly want to do. I doubted that he even paid any attention to the note about a glow-in-the-dark themed dance/game night for the boys at his school to bring their “favorite girl” (mom, grandma, aunt) to, and that was fine with me.

However, I didn’t throw the note away.

The next day while I was cleaning the kitchen, I looked at the note again, and I felt as though God wanted me to ask Elijah about. In my heart, I immediately knew that this would be important to him and important to my relationship with him.

That day he came home and mentioned the “glow party,” saying that he wanted to go.

The more I talked to him about it, though, I realized the main reason he wanted to go: he wanted to be with me.

Then as I thought about that, I decided that we had another option in addition to “go to the party” or “don’t go.”

So, I gave Elijah a choice: we could go to the school event (where it would be somewhat awkward for us because we didn’t know anyone else going, where it would be a later night than he was used to, and where we wouldn’t be as free to just be us with all the dancing and games planned), or we could go on a “Mommy-Elijah date” where he got to plan what we did and where we went.

Elijah proved my theory of “just wanting to be with Mommy” correct. Without hesitation or second thoughts, he chose to do a date night, just us.

He also immediately suggested that we should go to the Japanese steakhouse for our date.

If only.

After explaining that not even Daddy usually got to take me there on a date, we discussed a more appropriate budget, and he made his second suggestion: going to get frozen yogurt. (We would have let him pick something a little more expensive, but that was what he wanted).

Then he proved that even though he’s only 5-years-old, he knows the way to a girl’s heart.

He said, “Then we can go to Hobby Lobby, if you want, Mommy. “

IF I want to go to Hobby Lobby? Hahaha.

Frozen yogurt and Hobby Lobby? Sounded like a great idea to me.

For the next couple of weeks, his world only existed on time that was measured by when our date night was. He counted down the days, he told everyone about “getting to take Mommy on a date,” he wrote about it in his journal at school, and he reminded me every day that we had a special night coming up.

At one point, I thought I might have another thing on the night we had picked, and he was nearly in tears until I realized it was a week later.

I honestly never thought he would latch onto this idea as firmly as he did or that time with Mommy was something he was missing so much.

I probably should have. I mean, I’ve often thought about how we definitely want to do that as the boys get older. But I should have known he needed that to start now.

He’s still adjusting to being in school all day after having spent pretty much all day, every day with me since he was born. His time when he gets home is spent playing with his brother, eating dinner, reading his homework book, and getting ready for bed. There hasn’t been much Elijah-Mommy time, and definitely not as much as he was used to before school.

The day of our date I don’t know how his teacher got him to focus on his work at all. He was bouncing from the moment he got out of bed in the morning until, and especially when, I picked him up in the afternoon. He told his teacher where we were going, probably for the fiftieth time that week, bless her heart.

And then we were off…well, after we dropped Josiah off at his “date with Grandma.”

En route to the frozen yogurt place, Elijah told me that “tonight is going to be amazing.”

He was so desperate for time with me that yogurt, Hobby Lobby, and a stop into Target for something we needed at the house was “amazing” to him.

Clearly, we need to spend more one-on-one time together.

However, it was a delightful evening. We tasted different flavors of yogurt, then filled our cups with our favorites and topped them with a few items from the multitude of offerings, including berries, waffle cone pieces, and whipped cream. Elijah added a gummy frog to his because his teacher said that’s what she liked from that yogurt place. (You know, during one of the many conversations he had with her about his date with Mommy.)

While we ate, he talked about his day, much like he would any other day. There were no deep discussions, no major life advice shared with him. Just us being together. And it was wonderful.

He brought money with him for Hobby Lobby…$1.25…so he could buy something…for himself (Some date.) He was thrilled when we found a stamp with the letter “E” in the clearance items for only $0.75. We were able to get him a child-friendly ink pad for only about $1 or so (using their weekly 40% off coupon) – Mommy’s treat.

After we’d wandered through the wonderland of Hobby Lobby long enough, we headed to Target. When we were checking out, he whispered to me that he was going to ask the cashier for two stickers, one for him and one for me, “since we are on a date.”

I’m not sure if the cashier heard him or not, but seconds later, she actually offered him a sticker before he could ask.

“Can I have two? I’m on a date with my Mommy, “ he told her.

Of course, the lady smiled and happily gave us two special stickers. Elijah just beamed.

I’m not sure if the night lived up to Elijah’s “amazing” expectations, but I know he was a very happy boy.

Something that to me was so simple and that started with something that I almost completely ignored meant the world to him.

So much so that the next morning, he was still glowing and measuring time by our date.

He climbed into bed, gave me a hug, and said, “It’s the day after our date, Mommy.”

I asked him then and there if he’d go out with me again.

Tag - child

Walking Closely

How Doggie-Doo & My 3-Year-Old Point to God

A Celebration of Seuss

WHAT’S YOUR FAMILY’S FAVORITE DR. SEUSS BOOK?

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:

Why I Capture Our “Everyday”

It’s grabbing a piece of my “every day” and saving and savoring it.

I don’t just want to capture their memories. I want to be a rather big part of them, too.

Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World – Review & Giveaway

I know that I’m very grateful that I did.

~ GIVEAWAY ~

Because I think Kristen’s book is such a wonderful resource for parents, and I know that so many of you are eager to read it, I’m giving away a paperback copy to one of you!!!

One Question I’ll Be Asking My Children (& Myself) Everyday

Yesterday when I picked up Elijah from school, I did the same thing nearly every parent does when they see their children at the end of the day: I asked him, “How was your day?”

For more of my thoughts on Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World:

Going on a Date with My 5-year-old

Do you have special date nights or times with each of your children?

Earlier this year I shared my thoughts on Elijah’s first day of school in the post, Embracing the Moments of “Mommy Sadness.”