Tag - love

Jamie and the Candy

October 13, 2015

For today’s “Quote from My Children,” I’m bending my meaning of “my children” a bit. I don’t have a child named Jamie, but several years ago, our church team and I taught a little boy named Jamie, along with dozens of other children who attended our “Sidewalk Sunday School” outreach. When I minister and teach, all the kids take a place in my heart as “my children.”

For most of high school, I spent my Saturday mornings on the basketball court of a rough low-income housing development, singing songs, playing games, and teaching children about Jesus and how much He loves them. It was just like children’s church on Sunday morning, except the kids weren’t all decked out and spit-shined. When they saw us arrive or heard the music start up, they would rush out of the apartments in whatever clothes they did (or did not) have on, hair all kinds of crazy, remnants of breakfast or last night’s dinner on their faces and hands, and some without shoes, so it was a good thing we’d swept up all the broken glass before the kids arrived.

They ran to us because they knew they were welcomed, cherished, and loved. They came every week, leaving Saturday morning cartoons behind, for a chance to have fun, laugh, hear about a God Who loved them, and get prizes and candy, in addition to hugs and kind words.

The “Quiet Seat” prize was always a big deal and great incentive for children to sit as still as they could, be quiet when they needed to be, and participate when the time came. Of course that prize of a giant candy bar, a small toy, bubbles, or something else exciting to a child was only for one boy and one girl who were extra special good that day. Other smaller prizes could be won by playing one of the games throughout the event.

While kids worked really hard to earn the Quiet Seat prize or win a game, they were consoled by the fact that everyone who came, sat, listened, and participated would get a small bag of candy at the end. Once the songs, games, memory verse, lesson, and prayer were done, our team would make our way through the 40 or so kids gathered to pass out candy to each one. We always reminded them that Jesus loved them.

Jamie was one of our regular attenders, a boy of about 8 or 9. He lived in the complex and came pretty much every week. We knew his siblings and his grandma. And we ALL knew Jamie.

He was a bit of a handful – obstinate, loud, fidgety, and prone to arguing with the other kids. Since we had the kids sit girls on one side with female team members and boys on the other with the men on the team, Jamie drove some of my youth group guy friends CRAZY!!!

Then one day as we were passing out candy, somehow Jamie got overlooked. I think it was an accident. 🙂

Suddenly we hear Jamie complaining, “Jesus don’t love ME ‘cause I didn’t get any caaandy!” (Really wish I could type it as it sounded – a little southern boy with LOTS of attitude…who didn’t get any caaandy.)

Of course we remedied the situation quickly and gave him his candy, but he continued to make a big deal about how he hadn’t gotten any initially because…well, that was Jamie.

His quote became a quotable to me because of the way he said it and because of what was behind what he said.

He could have easily just said, “I didn’t get any candy,” and we would have gotten him a bag. But he took what he KNEW we wanted him to know – that Jesus loves him – and made his lack of candy into a lack of love from Jesus.

Because, you know, WE didn’t let him down. Jesus did.

I honestly don’t think he thought that; I think he was just trying to be somewhat manipulative and get extra attention, bless his heart.

But there are SOOO many people who do this and believe it.

If Jesus loved them, He would make them happy.

If Jesus loved them, He would solve their problems.

If Jesus loved them, He would give them what they want.

If Jesus loved them, people wouldn’t let them down.

If Jesus loved them, their loved one would be well.

If Jesus loved them, nothing bad would ever happen to them.

I’m not sure when Jesus became equated with a genie in a bottle or Santa Claus, but that is not how it works. The Gospel isn’t that Jesus is here to jump up at your every beck and call to please you. It’s actually kind of the opposite.

He loved us before we even knew Him, died for us when we REALLY didn’t deserve it, and He offers us forgiveness and eternal life that He paid for. In return, we offer Him all of us because this is the only thing we have, and even that doesn’t match all He’s done for us. We are to live our lives to please Him, not the other way around.

Does He bless us? Yes. Do we deserve it? No. Does He want us to have an abundant life? In John 10:10, Jesus says that’s why He came, but make sure your definition matches His.

People who decide to follow Jesus so they can be “happy” end up a bit disappointed. They seem to skip over verses such as John 16:33 where Jesus promises trouble. (Thanks, Jesus.) But really, He says, “In this world you WILL have tribulation…” So, no. Not always a happy, no problems ride.

However, in that same verse, He also tells us, “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace.” and “be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” He wants us to have peace and good cheer, but it’s not from a lack of trouble. We can have peace and joy even in the midst of trouble because we are rooted in Him.

God is so good to us. We never deserve it. He always loves us. We don’t deserve that either. He sent His Son to us to be mistreated, beaten, despised, and killed – for us. And we have the nerve to snap our fingers, and say, “Garçon.”

If we loved Jesus, we would live our lives to make Him happy and bring Him joy.

If we loved Jesus, we would walk in obedience, patience, and trust, asking for His wisdom, which would probably prevent or solve at least some of our problems.

If we loved Jesus, we would make what He wants and asks of us our top priority.

If we loved Jesus, we would forgive those who have hurt us and let us down.

If we loved Jesus, we would trust His plan and believe He is in control.

If we loved Jesus, we could face the bad, knowing that He is with us and that He works all things “for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

If we loved Jesus, we’d know that He loves us, and be content in that, even when we don’t get any candy.

Elijah and Heaven

October 12, 2015

1 Comment

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Elijah and Heaven. Elijah's conversation about meeting friends in Heaven.

The summer Elijah turned three, our family mourned the passing of both my paternal grandmother and Brad’s maternal grandfather. Elijah knew that they had both dealt with illness and poor health for quite a while, and we had been to visit them both as often as we could, so he’d become close to them.

Elijah has always been a rather mature child when it comes to spiritual things, so we didn’t hesitate to talk to him about it when his great-grandpa died. I explained to him that while we would still see Great-Grandpa’s body in the casket at the funeral, the “real” him had already gone to Heaven to be with God because Great-Grandpa had trusted in Jesus as his Savior and followed Him. We were able to say the same when his great-grandma passed.

Elijah still would have questions every so often, but the conversations we had with Elijah prior to the funerals and in the months following are what eventually led to him making the decision to give his heart to Jesus and follow Him. I know that my grandma and Brad’s grandpa rejoiced that day in Heaven.

: Great-Grandma with 2-month-old Elijah

: Great-Grandpa

: My beautiful sister-in-law, Nancy, with her mother, Deborah.

Then this year, not long before his fifth birthday, we had another death in the family, my sister-in-law’s mother, Miss Deborah.

When we told Elijah about it, we talked about how much Miss Deborah loved Jesus and how she was ready to be with Him.

Elijah said, “I wonder what she’s doing right now in Heaven?”

I replied, “I don’t know, but I bet she’s happy.” Nodding, he agreed, “Yeah, she’s probably talking to everyone.” (Miss Deborah was a warm, sweet, welcoming woman, and I could see her talking to everyone)

Then I had a thought I knew he’d like. “Maybe she said, ‘Hi’ to Great-Grandma.”

Smiling, Elijah clearly enjoyed the idea of them meeting each other again in heaven. “Yeah! She probably already saw Great-Grandpa, and she was like, ‘Who’s that?’ because she’d never met him.”

Then he added, “When I go to Heaven, I’m going to see Noah and Elijah.” (From the Bible)

I asked, “What about God?”

“I’d probably see Him all over. He’ll probably be popping up everywhere!”

While it was a sad time, and we still miss them all, it was sweet to be reminded of the joy that awaits us with God and think about how “He’ll be popping up everywhere!” 🙂

And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”

Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.” – Revelations 21:3-5

Josiah and Jesus Loves Me

October 9, 2015

4 Comments

Josiah & Jesus Loves Me: A Lesson in Love from a 2-year-old, Life in Lape Haven. My toddler's version of "Jesus Loves Me" is a great reminder that because Jesus loves others, we do, too.

About a week after Elijah started kindergarten, he came home on Friday afternoon, and Josiah, who was feeling the daily absence of his big brother, decided to do a little show for Elijah while I was cooking dinner. (A lot of our life happens in the kitchen).

Standing on top off their daddy’s old yellow art box as his stage, Josiah began his performance with a greeting of “Gentlemen!” in a surprisingly deep voice for a 2-year-old. After a short, mixed-up version of the alphabet (“C-B-S”), he got to the main event: serenading his brother with “Jesus Loves Me.” However, his rendition took a sweet turn, as you’ll see:

For some reason, little Josiah tended to always sing this song as “Jesus loves YOU,” instead of “Jesus loves me.” But that was okay with me. He clearly knew that God loved him. (He had told me just that morning, very confidently, that “God likes me. Jesus likes me, too.”)78

What I loved about his song to Elijah was that Josiah simplified our calling as Christians down to one or two lines and declared it with such joy!

“Jesus ‘lub’ you, this I know. I ‘lub’ you!”

In 1 John 4:19 & 20, we’re reminded:

“We love Him because He first loved us. If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?”

Jesus loves me, so I love Him; Jesus loves you, so I love you, too.

Get more ideas & encouragement from this real-life mom as I experience God’s faithfulness through the joy and chaos of motherhood.
Join my email list!
First Name

Email address:

Elijah and the Belly

October 4, 2015

1 Comment

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Out of the Mouth of Babes, Elijah and the Belly. Sometimes trusting God's plan when it doesn't match up to our is harder than having the faith to move mountains.

This past year has brought a number of new babies to our family and close friends, so every few months, our boys were hearing about another baby being born. Either they were seeing those adorable newborn pictures in my Facebook feed, watching Mommy edit newborn pictures from the two sessions she did, or they actually got to meet and hold their new cousins or friends. (Holding the babies is their favorite part)

It should have come as no surprise then that Elijah decided that our home needed a new baby, too. He was almost three when Josiah was born, so he remembers the everyday of having a new little one around for him to play with and watch grow. However, Josiah, being two-and-a-half now, has apparently grown past “baby,” no matter how much Mommy told him to slow down. (He’ll even tell you, “I not a baby! I a big boy!”) Now Elijah is eager for a new brother or sister.

When Elijah began telling me that I needed to have another baby, I told him that that was something for God to decide, and we needed to ask God if that was part of His plan for our family.

That night, when it was time for Elijah to pray before bed, the very first request out of his mouth was, “Please let Mommy have another baby.”

Brad and I laughed but also looked at each other. Our child was now praying for God to give us a third child.

: Elijah with his cousin Emmett

: Meeting his cousin Aiden

: My boys sharing their cousin Aiden.

: Josiah holding our new friend Lauralyn by himself.

Elijah prayed the same thing the next night and the next. He didn’t forget it.

A few days after he’d started beseeching the Almighty for another sibling, Elijah came up to me and began pushing and poking on my belly.

When I asked him why he was doing that, he said, “Well, I’ve been praying that you would have a baby. I’ve prayed three times! I’m just checking to see if I can feel a baby yet.”

Part of me was, like, “Haha. Oh, my.” Clearly, he remembered when Mommy was pregnant with Josiah and feeling Josiah kick. I laughed and told him that even if Mommy were pregnant, he wouldn’t feel a baby yet.

The bigger part of me was, like, “But, uh-oh. Oooh, my!” This boy was SERIOUS. Very serious. He had so much faith that God would answer his prayers that he was already looking for proof that it was answered.

It’s not that Brad and I don’t want a third child. That’s kind of always been in our thoughts. However, we weren’t sure when or if that was in God’s thoughts for us. So, we’d been praying for direction.

Some might say that Elijah’s prayers are confirmation. They might be. We still don’t know yet.

An almost-3-year-old Elijah meeting his little brother, Josiah.

Either way, there is a delicate balance to achieve when you explain to your 4-year-old that sometimes God doesn’t always give us everything we pray for.

You want to encourage and nurture their faith because, truly, “with God, all things are possible,” and He tells us in Mark 11:24, “Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.”

Jesus meant that. So, yes, Elijah, pray and believe. Increase your faith. Trust your God to do big things because He will.

And yet, we also want Elijah to realize that sometimes God says, “That’s not My plan for you.” We have to trust THAT just as much as we trust Him to do the big things we ask of Him. Sometimes trusting His plan when it doesn’t match up to ours is even harder than having the faith to move mountains.

I have to say, though, that I have been kind of impressed. Elijah understands that God might say, “No,” or “Not yet,” but he still prays EVERY SINGLE NIGHT for a baby. (By the way, he would prefer a sister, so he says, but he’s leaving that up to God, too.)

He’s also praying for a new car. I had told him that if we have another baby, we’d need another car, so if he was going to pray for a baby, he needed to pray for God to provide a new vehicle, too, so all the car seats will fit. He has no problem with trusting God to meet every need we might have.

I almost want to have a third child just so that Elijah’s faith is rewarded. I mean, he would be able to say, “For this child I have prayed” and prayed and prayed and prayed. It’s funny, sweet, and inspiring all at once.

It’s also a little daunting. Because what if God says, “Yes. Sure. Here you go, Elijah.”

I know that children touch God’s heart. I know that He hears their prayers and answers because those little ones faithfully, unwaveringly believe.

But my little believer won’t be the one up for nighttime feedings, or changing endless diapers, or dealing with some of the less-than-pleasant things about pregnancy and childbirth, no matter that he has volunteered to take care of the baby for us since “I’m the one praying for it.”

That’ll be Mommy, with Daddy’s help. Having already done this twice, knowing what I’d be getting into can be a little unnerving. It’s almost worse, at times, than when we were first-time parents who didn’t know anything.

Of course, we also know the good side of having children. Babies are precious, beautiful, miraculous gifts from God. They bring so much joy and delight. Watching each child become their own little person is amazing, and I truly love being a mother.

So, now I’m praying, but my prayer is this: “Not my will, but Yours be done.”

I guess, my big boy and I are learning to trust God’s plan together.

Feature image picture courtesy of Picture Bliss Photography.

Better than a Fairy Tale

August 29, 2015

3 Comments

Life in Lape Haven: Better than a Fairy Tale - Mom on the rock

Once upon a time, a 13-year-old girl walked into the high school band room after a football game, searching for her older brother. Little did she know that that night would change her life, for that night she would meet a friend of her brother’s, a guy who was immediately taken with her and would one day be her husband.

At first meeting, however, he did not appear to her to be Prince Charming. She actually considered him more of a frog than a prince, and over the next year or so, that’s how it remained. However, at some point, she softened toward the skinny, shy guy, and they began dating.

By the time she was 16, they both knew that God had brought them together. In fact, at a revival meeting, the pastor called them forward and joined their hands, confirming what they had both already felt. Their lives had intersected, and now their paths would merge into one.

However, all was not well in their kingdom. While this girl loved her prince, she loved her God more and served Him wholeheartedly as she had done since childhood. She began to sense that her prince, while truly loving God, was placing her in the position that could only be filled by the Most High.

With an aching heart, she let him go and broke up with him, so that he might solidify his relationship with God. She knew that she could not trust him with her heart until his was completely God’s.

After a few months of separation, the Holy Spirit brought them back together, stronger and more founded in Him. And yet, their troubles were not over.

Being young as they were, not all were supportive of their plans to marry once the girl graduated high school. Her father was among them. This was probably due in part to the fact that her prince had proclaimed arrogantly that once they married, he intended to be a missionary in Africa and take his bride with him. Thankfully, that was NOT God’s plan for them.

: Jerry at 17 or 18

: Cindy at 16 years old

Despite hardships and heartache, the girl planned her wedding, made her dress and veil, and decorated the church, and God guided them to their wedding day, where the two became one.

Now while most fairy tales would end here, quite prettily tied up with a sparkly bow and declare, “And they all lived happily ever after,” this was not the end of the story for the girl and her prince, but rather the barely-beginning.

The beginning was important, though, because the next few years, and the years after that, and the years following those, would all require the same confidence and trust in God’s plan, the same determination to keep Him as the center of their relationship, the same willingness to be honest with and accountable to each other.

That barely-beginning belonged to my parents, Jerry and Cindy, who are now celebrating 43 years of marriage. Forty-three years that have included better and worse, richer and poorer, and sickness and health, but also always included having, holding, loving, and cherishing. During those forty years, they have lived in five different states (and various cities within those states); worked many jobs; served in ministry in some way pretty much constantly, often ministering together (My father has been in music ministry, a youth minister, a home group leader, an elder, and a pastor, with my mother right there beside him all the way); and raised four children, adored 12 grandchildren (9 grandsons, 1 granddaughter, and 2 granddaughters by marriage), and welcomed one great-granddaughter.

: My parents, my older brother, and me, when I was 3.

: Our family picture from when I was 5 years old. Check out the knee socks!

: Oh, the awkward age…and sweaters.

: Our family has grown! An adopted sister, spouses all around, and babies!

: At my oldest nephew’s wedding in 2012.

: One of our many goofy family pictures (it’s our thing).

: Our family group picture, minus my sister, her oldest son, & his wife. We’ve also celebrated 2 new additions since this, babies Aiden and Rose.

: Mom and Dad with their grandson, Aiden.

: Our family at Thanksgiving 2017 (minus my oldest nephew, his wife, & daughter).

Some might look at their lives and say it has been nowhere near a fairy tale, and they would be right.

Fairy tales aren’t reality. What fairy tale do you know that actually goes beyond the wild, exciting, romantic first year of meeting (and that’s being generous…most fairy tale princesses are married within a few months or even days of meeting their prince) and the big, beautiful, perfect wedding? Do any ever show the actual marriage??? No. Because while married life is wonderful, lovely, and blissful, it is also about self-sacrifice, commitment, hard work, giving, and forgiving. (My mother says, “Without forgiveness, we would not have made it 43 years.”)

And yet, what is truly more beautiful? A story that ends with the couple riding off in a grand carriage, accompanied by rice-throwing mice and ribbon-draping songbirds, but never shows them triumphing through struggle, growing together, or giving more of him/herself daily for their spouse?

Or one that tells it all? Where the couple honeymoons in a fishing cabin with no running water (true story – my mom is a saint!), where they share years of laughter and tears, arguing and making-up, where they experience the joy and frustration of raising a family, and where every day, they rely on God through it all and He comes through every time.

I’ll take the “tell it all” version any day because it’s real. It’s life. And it’s the story I’ve read in my parents throughout all of their “happily ever after.”

Happy anniversary, Mom & Dad! Thank you for living a beautiful example of all God created marriage to be. I love you both!

(Updated August 2018.)

Get more ideas & encouragement from this real-life mom as I experience God’s faithfulness through the joy and chaos of motherhood.

Join my email list!
First Name

Email address:

Embracing the Moments of “Mommy Sadness”

August 14, 2015

17 Comments

Life in Lape Haven: Embracing the Moments of Mom Sadness

He held my hand tightly as we walked into the school. Neither of us knew where anything was or where we were supposed to be, but we were on this adventure together: Kindergarten Open House.

How was it that my little guy was big enough to be preparing for kindergarten? (I still remember clearly when I was in kindergarten!) Sitting beside him at a table in his soon-to-be cafeteria while we waited for the parent meeting to start, I felt my heart squeeze tightly, as though it were trying desperately to hold on to this moment, this second in time.

He still seems so little.

Then he nestled closer to me, laying his head against my arm, making my heart tighten further. I blinked back tears when he smiled sweetly up at me.

I thought about what my sister-in-law had said when I asked my friends and family for advice in facing these weeks of transition, “Remember to try to enjoy the moment in your mommy sadness, too.”

Looking at Elijah’s excited little face, seeing the hints of nervousness in his eyes, in his fidgeting, in the solid grip he had on my arm, and the complete trust overwhelming it all, knowing that Mommy was right there with him, I knew I was in that very moment, the double-edged sword of parenthood.

What other experience in life is as bittersweet as watching this precious child, whom you love more than anything, grow, become independent, and flourish as their own person?

There is so much joy and pride in seeing their discoveries, accomplishments, and individual triumphs, mixed with the heartbreaking awareness of how quickly time is passing and how briefly we get to hold so closely these most beautiful gifts of God.

It’s so hard to stand there, slowly letting go, watching them step out from your constant protection and comfort (even knowing that God is with them), and seeing them face potential disappointment or hurt in a fallen world.

While we often say, “This, too, shall pass,” as encouragement on those long, draining days of temper tantrums, potty training, and our every request being questioned, it’s these moments of “mommy sadness” that remind us that those giggly morning snuggles, that tiny hand clinging to yours, the wide-eyed fascination in simply studying a nighttime sky also fall into the category of “This, too, shall pass.”

So there I sat, my wiggly kindergartener anxious to meet his teacher, see his classroom, find his desk, and meet some other children. He was ready for this next chapter, eager to embrace it.

I knew he wouldn’t understand my “mommy sadness.”

None of us do when we’re the kindergartener (I love you, Mom!).

But as the mommy, I held it close, not to wallow in my own pity party, but to revel in the beauty of such an opportunity to love so soul-wrenchingly deeply.

What a gorgeous glimmer of God, dropped right into our hearts!

The “mommy sadness” is a result of loving my child. And I’m choosing to embrace it. I could tuck it away, brush it off, or distract myself. With two busy boys, a house to clean, dinner to make, and a new book on my Kindle, I have plenty of ways to ignore my heart.

Amazon.com – Read eBooks using the FREE Kindle Reading App on Most Devices

However, I’d rather it challenge and encourage me to cherish each and every minute with my boys, to be present and attentive to truly hear what their little voices are saying, to be quicker to drop housework or outside distractions to play with them, and to love them even more soul-wrenchingly deeply.

Embracing that “mommy sadness” allows me to enjoy the moments more fully because it shows me the true value in that moment.

Today, he held my hand tightly as we walked up to the school. He knew where everything was and exactly where he was supposed to be, and we were ready to embrace this adventure together: Kindergarten.

Update: If you’d like to know how our adventure in Kindergarten was, check out my look back on the year: Trusting God Through Kindergarten.

Get more ideas & encouragement from this real-life mom as I experience God’s faithfulness through the joy and chaos of motherhood.

Join my email list!
First Name

Email address:

Tag - love

Jamie and the Candy

Elijah and Heaven

Josiah and Jesus Loves Me

Jesus loves me, so I love Him; Jesus loves you, so I love you, too.

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:

Elijah and the Belly

Better than a Fairy Tale

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:

Embracing the Moments of “Mommy Sadness”

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: