Life in Lape Haven

Author - Kishona

Elijah and the Ensemble

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Elijah and the Ensemble. Let's just be real and honest

As I’ve already mentioned this past week, Elijah and nap time/quiet time stopped getting along quite a while ago. Quiet Time was instituted when it became very clear that getting him to actually nap every single day was just a happy memory.

His naptime had actually been a futile effort for a few months before it was put out of its misery. I spent much of “naptime” hearing noises in his room, then going up to investigate, then telling him to get back into his bed, and then coming back downstairs until the bumps, squeaks, and thuds started again.

Sometimes, though, he was a bit stealthier in hiding his lack of napping. However, as he has learned, Mommy will always figure out the truth sooner or later, and usually sooner than you want her to. You can’t hide stuff from your moms, kids! (Especially not ones who are listening closely to the Lord. If she doesn’t find out on her own, He’ll reveal it to her. Can I get an “Amen!”?)

One day when Elijah laid down for his nap, he was wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt and jeans. He wanted to leave his clothes on, and I let him. After a book, a prayer, and a hug, I left him upstairs to rest.

Less than hour later, my child came downstairs in an entirely new, and decidedly unique, ensemble. One look at his outfit, and I knew he hadn’t even TRIED to take a nap.

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Elijah and the Ensemble. Let's just be real and honest

When I asked him what he was doing out of bed so early, he claimed, “I took a good, long nap.”

It was hard to keep a straight face, especially with him wearing a silly little hat that was several sizes too small because it came off a stuffed animal! A stuffed animal that, I might add, was not anywhere near his bed.

When I questioned him, he denied any and all accusations that he might have been playing instead of napping. Uh-huh.

Standing in my living room, I studied his sweater and shorts combo accessorized with the giant Mickey bag, his face with its carefully serious and innocent expression, and did my best not to laugh at the ridiculousness.

He totally thought he could fool me.

Even as I laugh at this silly picture of the boy who tried to lie to Mommy, I can’t help but think about how many times we try to do this as Christians.

No matter how clearly our lives are showing one thing (struggle, difficulties, bad habits, lack of time with God), we can pretend like the best of them. We’ll smile, tell people “I’m fine,” and raise our hands in worship while our mind is anywhere but on God. We hope that the people around us are fooled.

It’s kind of like when we try to take those “Pinterest perfect” pictures to post online. You pick the least messy part of the house to take the picture to make everyone believe that your home is really clean, not realizing that stray sock is smack in the middle of the floor in the background.

The Bible tells us, though, that “the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). God is never fooled by what we say, how we act, or what we look like. He knows us as we are – our flaws, our mistakes, our hurts, our motives, our potential.

Let’s just be real. Let’s just be honest. Let’s be repentant. God isn’t fooled, and chances are, neither is everyone else. Being real gives God the chance to extend forgiveness (If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:9), help us correct our errors, heal our wounds, and encourage us in our purpose.

If Elijah would have been doing what he was supposed to, he may have had bedhead, but at least he wouldn’t have had to wear that goofy hat to hide that he didn’t.

Elijah and Two Funny Quotes

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Elijah and Two Quotes. Celebrating the silliness of what my little boy says

Sometimes, my kids say stuff that is just plain funny, no lesson attached. Sometimes, their innocence, lack of experience, or a simple miscommunication gives us a chuckle, and that’s enough.

Today, for Day 10 of the Write 31 Days challenge, you get two quotes. Two quotes with stories that I’m sure we’ll be retelling over and over again all throughout our kids’ lives.

Elijah and the TV

Last summer our family enjoyed a slightly extended vacation down South. Since I lived in Georgia for about six years (from the end of 9th grade to a couple years after graduation), I was very excited to see familiar places and visit some friends as well.

We first spent a week near Beaufort, South Carolina, sharing a huge vacation rental with my hubby’s family. At the end of the week, his family headed back up to Ohio, and our little crew headed down to Georgia, where we would be staying in a home owned by my former youth pastors’ family.

The River House, as they call it, was just that – a small home along the river in southeast Georgia where their family members go to spend time with friends, do some fishing, or just relax. After the adventure of finding the dirt trail road (beside the cotton field – no, not that one…not that one…maybe this one…no…) that led to the house and driving down that bumpy road for over a mile, we carried in luggage and started getting ourselves settled. Our two boys wandered through the rooms, exploring their new surroundings, while my friends answered any questions we had.

Suddenly, from across the room, Elijah exclaimed, “There’s no TV!”

Glancing over into the living room, all of us adults laughed. He wasn’t very far from what, to him, must have seemed to be just an odd piece of furniture, a very large, old console television.

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Elijah and Two Quotes. Celebrating the silliness of what my little boy says

Once we pointed out the television to him, his next question was, “Where’s the remote?”

 

Elijah and the Wookie

My hubby is a nerd. He is. But that’s okay because I, myself, have some geeky tendencies, so we get along really well. Because of this, our boys are exposed to the coolest parts of nerdiness regularly, such as Star Wars (we’re a Star Wars family, not a Star Trek family).

My boys haven’t managed to finish an entire Star Wars movie, but they still love it. (Josiah’s favorite is “Darka Bader,” so you can tell he doesn’t know the story.) We have to see every commercial, toy aisle, or t-shirt that features a Star Wars character. If it’s combined in anyway with LEGO – well, their day is just complete.

So when I found Elijah a Chewbacca t-shirt at the thrift store on New Year’s Eve a couple years ago, he was over the moon (“That’s no moon.”). He was so proud of it.

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Elijah and Two Quotes. Celebrating the silliness of what my little boy says

That evening we celebrated the new year with the traditional kielbasa and kraut.

The next day, when I asked Elijah what he wanted for lunch, he said, “Chewbacca.”

I laughed and said, “You can’t eat Chewbacca!”

Sometimes he can be so silly, so I thought he was just playing. However, he kept insisting and got upset. I finally realized that he was serious and that what he was trying to say was “kielbasa.”

Apparently introducing Chewbacca & kielbasa on the same day can lead to some confusion.

Josiah and Jesus Loves Me

Josiah & Jesus Loves Me: A Lesson in Love from a 2-year-old, Life in Lape Haven. My toddler's version of "Jesus Loves Me" is a great reminder that because Jesus loves others, we do, too.

About a week after Elijah started kindergarten, he came home on Friday afternoon, and Josiah, who was feeling the daily absence of his big brother, decided to do a little show for Elijah while I was cooking dinner. (A lot of our life happens in the kitchen).

Standing on top off their daddy’s old yellow art box as his stage, Josiah began his performance with a greeting of “Gentlemen!” in a surprisingly deep voice for a 2-year-old. After a short, mixed-up version of the alphabet (“C-B-S”), he got to the main event: serenading his brother with “Jesus Loves Me.” However, his rendition took a sweet turn, as you’ll see:

For some reason, little Josiah tended to always sing this song as “Jesus loves YOU,” instead of “Jesus loves me.” But that was okay with me. He clearly knew that God loved him. (He had told me just that morning, very confidently, that “God likes me. Jesus likes me, too.”)78

What I loved about his song to Elijah was that Josiah simplified our calling as Christians down to one or two lines and declared it with such joy!

“Jesus ‘lub’ you, this I know. I ‘lub’ you!”Josiah & Jesus Loves Me: A Lesson in Love from a 2-year-old, Life in Lape Haven. My toddler's version of "Jesus Loves Me" is a great reminder that because Jesus loves others, we do, too.

In 1 John 4:19 & 20, we’re reminded:

“We love Him because He first loved us. If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?”

 
Jesus loves me, so I love Him; Jesus loves you, so I love you, too.

 

Get more ideas & encouragement from this real-life mom as I experience God’s faithfulness through the joy and chaos of motherhood.

Join my email list!  

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:

How We Changed Our Family Atmosphere with One Question

Simple Ways to Spark Joy in Your Children

The Tale of a Tooth & Noticing the Big Things in Our Kids’ Lives

Josiah and the Highway

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days, Josiah and the Highway

Not long ago, Josiah and I were headed out to the grocery store after dropping Elijah off at school. We took the back way there, which brings us out to the main four-lane highway in our area, which meant I had to cross two lanes of northbound, oncoming traffic to head south to the store.

Sitting at the stop sign, I was waiting for a chance to at least cross to the median, and Josiah got impatient with me.

“Go, Mommy!”

“I can’t go, yet, Josiah. There are cars coming. I have to wait until it’s safe for us to go across,” I explained.

Without missing a beat, my 2-year-old answered, “Jesus make us safe, Mommy. Jesus make us safe.”

Aaannd…there it is again. The simple, sweet faith of a child.

“Jesus make us safe.”

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days, Josiah and the Highway

And underneath that innocent trust, is a much deeper, imperative truth.

I could do everything in my power to be safe, watch traffic, pay attention, be alert and aware, and still life is not in my control. Other drivers (distracted, under the influence, or careless), natural disasters, angry people with guns – I have no control over them.

I can’t entirely protect my children from mean kids at school, every disappointment or failure they’ll experience, sickness or random injuries (with my active boys, injuries are almost guaranteed), or the worldly influences they will encounter in their lives.

“Jesus make us safe.”

What I can do is make sure my boys know with certainty where their true safety lies. What I can do is teach them, help them, and show them how to build their foundation on the Rock, on Jesus. They need to be firmly, solidly rooted in Him, so that when storms come (and they will to all of us), my boys stand firm despite the winds, torrents, or destruction left in its wake.

The story of the wise man building his house on the rock (Matthew 7:24-27) is one of Josiah’s favorite in the Kids Bible App. He calls it, “Storm.” We’ve read it over and over. Each time, I remind him of what it means, and clearly he’s getting it, as much as a 2-year-old can at this point.

“Jesus make us safe.”

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days, Josiah and the Highway

As parents, if we want our children to trust and build on the Rock, WE have to trust and build our own house on the Rock. We shouldn’t just run to the negative when trouble hits or let circumstances shake our confidence in God’s power over those circumstances. Sure, we’ll feel the shaking. We may even doubt or begin to worry. However, if we’ve been solidifying our own foundations in Christ, when the winds start to howl and our doubts begin to whisper to us, something inside of us, or rather Someone inside of us, should rise up and speak peace to our hearts, trust in the trials, and focus our eyes not on the storm, but on the One who calms them.

Don’t always shield your child from the difficulties you are facing. Allow them to pray and trust with you. I learned that I could rely on God to take care of me by watching how He took care of my parents. When they needed money unexpectedly or faced health issues, they didn’t hide it all from us. They brought us in, praying together, trusting together, and rejoicing together when God came through, as He always will. (Sometimes it isn’t as we expect Him to answer, but He’s there with us through it, working out His plans for our good – Romans 8:28)

Our lives should speak to our children, proclaiming, “Jesus make us safe.” Yes, the statement isn’t proper grammar; it’s two-year-old speech. However, if you need to, you can also turn it from proclamation to prayer, “Jesus, make us safe.”

God has to be my security, my foundation, my refuge in the storms. God has to be their security, their foundation, their refuge in the storms.

He, alone, can make us safe.

Elijah and the Ninja Skills

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Out of the Mouth of Babes, Elijah and the Ninja Skills.

Around Lape Haven, we kind of love silly. We thrive on imagination and creativity. We choose birthday party themes based on how costume-friendly they are. (We really do.)

But I have to say, sometimes, I am still amazed at how quirky my kids can be. They provide me with hours of entertainment and laughter, sometimes unintentionally.

For example, last fall Elijah became obsessed with being a ninja, or at least his interpretation of a ninja. (I don’t think he’s ever seen a real ninja, and it definitely shows. For one, his ninja is very noisy. 🙂 )

He insisted on wearing all black, or at least all “dark” and “plain,” when he was playing, so he could look like a ninja, and he was always showing off his “ninja skills.” He would say, “See my ninja skills,” and do some arm flailing and jumps, pretending to fight and do karate. Josiah, our little “monkey see, monkey do-er,” would follow along, echoing, “See my gills.”

One evening while I was working on dinner, the boys came into the kitchen to demonstrate those skills, and Elijah proceeded to give me instructions on how to “jump like a ninja.” Listening to his directions, accompanied by the motions, I felt as though I were in a Will Ferrell skit:

“You turn, then you squat, and then you come up like a flower!”

Yes, he said to be a ninja, “you come up like a flower!” Hahaha.

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Out of the Mouth of Babes, Elijah and the Ninja Skills.

Elijah as a ninja, with his sidekick, Josiah, who dressed himself that day.

And it’s not just the ninja thing. Elijah is fascinated with bugs, watching The Weather Channel, and making “crafts” from whatever he can pull from our recycle bin. Josiah is our techie, much to Daddy’s delight and despair, since Josiah can download an app in a heartbeat. He’s also our daredevil who isn’t afraid of heights or falls or going too fast.

The boys will dress up in anything (see Day 1 of the series and the snorkel mask). They truly DO dance like nobody is watching, only they are always hoping that someone is. They don’t care if the clothes they pick match, are fashionable, or even fit them! (Just yesterday, Elijah came downstairs in a 2T-sized Air Force uniform that his cousin gave him when Elijah was 2. Yeah, it’s a bit snug.) They sing loudly, with more enthusiasm than skill, and make up songs that make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

While I do enforce some guidelines when we are going out and about (no snorkel masks in church, for one), I try not to stifle their play time by imposing too many of my “grown up” rules on them. I want them to stay little for as long as they can and to stay confident in who they are and in who God made them to be.

Too many people start out as unique, expressive children, then as they grow, begin to listen to what the world around them says is “cool” or “beautiful.” Some may eventually come back to being comfortable in who they are, but others lose that child-like freedom and spend most of their life trying to be everyone else.

The Bible tells us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) and that God knows the plans that He has for us (Jeremiah 29:11). I know that those are probably two of the more quoted verses in Christianity, but do we truly embrace them? Do we trust that God made us with our odd sense of humor or our dramatic flair or our interest in bugs for a reason?

Personally, I like dancing, I like acting, I like reading and writing, I’m often loud, I like to laugh, I can be rather goofy, and I love simple things, such as lightning bugs, fireworks, and dandelion puffs. Growing up, at points, I struggled with allowing all those things to show. Other girls were quiet and dainty, soft-spoken, graceful.

I really wasn’t those things, and I didn’t know why I couldn’t be. I AM stubborn, though, and that part of me refused to be told what I had to be like. I wanted to be uniquely me, but just me. I didn’t want to be so different that people thought I was a freak or trying too hard (some people go to that end of the spectrum, too).

Then one day everything clicked into place, and God’s plan in creating me the way I am, made so much sense, I had to laugh. It was a day in high school when I helped with the children’s outreach from church. That Saturday morning, I was able to sing and dance around, act goofy, laugh loudly, cheer and scream, and wonder at the simple, wonderful things along with the children to whom we were ministering.

I was able to be me, completely me, fearfully and wonderfully made, with a purpose and plan that glorified the One who had created me. My personality and talents are perfect for children’s ministry. My heart sparked to life that day, and I have served, in some way, in children’s ministry, ever since.

So, if you see my kids’ pictures on here, Facebook, or Instagram (you can follow along – hint, hint), and they are being silly and dorky and completely free to be them, if Elijah is talking about the weather or showing off his “shaker” made from a yogurt container and rocks, or if Josiah’s been scaling the counters as Superman (again), just know that we’re busy uncovering the gifts, talents, and purposes that God has in my boys, and we’re encouraging them to be the little men God designed them to be, so they can fulfill to the fullest extent the calling He’s placed on them, whatever it is, whenever it is.

I’m fine with them being little ninjas and practicing those skills. Little ninjas grow up to be mighty warriors.

———–

Just because my kids crack me up, here’s a little video of those awesome ninja skills.

Enjoy! (Note: If you’re wondering what Josiah has on at the end, he’s wearing his brother’s too-large, red slippers and one volleyball kneepad. Just because.)

Elijah and Quiet Time

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Out of the Mouth of Babes, Elijah and Quiet Time

Naptime. I don’t know a mommy or daddy with little ones who doesn’t look forward to naptime. Well, a naptime when the little people go to sleep easily and get all their “cranky” out before they wake up. That’s the kind of naptime we love.

Then your child starts to get a little older, and naptime gets met with a bit more resistance and lot less napping.

When Elijah hit that age (about 3-1/2), Josiah still needed his afternoon naps. Honestly, Elijah still needed his, too, but he wasn’t sleeping. So rather than spend my precious hour-and-a-half of child-free(ish) time going up and down the stairs to keep Elijah in his bed and quiet, I decided to institute “Quiet Time.”

The rules were simple: Elijah was to stay on his bed and be quiet, so no playing with his toys and running around his room. He didn’t have to go to sleep. He could look at books and just relax.

At first, he loved it. It felt like freedom to him. He didn’t HAVE to go to sleep, but most of the time, especially early on, if he were quiet enough, for long enough, he fell asleep on his own. Mommy for the win!

Alas, my smart boy figured out my game. And before long, Quiet Time wasn’t as fun as it started out to be. However, every parent knows, we all need a break sometimes, and those 60-90 minutes of relative quiet in the afternoon give Mommy a chance to breathe, regroup, and find that hidden reserve of patience (along with one of the ice cream bars tucked away in the deep freezer).

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Out of the Mouth of Babes, Elijah and Quiet Time

Once upon a time, I, too, used naptime as napping time. But since Elijah didn’t sleep, neither did I. Now, most of the time, I use Quiet Time to finish housework that I can’t do as easily while the boys are running free, like mopping (Our entire downstairs is hardwood or hardwood-wanna-be, so mopping is a necessary evil) or cleaning the bathroom (cleaning the tub, even with the easy spray and wipe-away solution I found, gives the boys too much time out of sight. They only need a few seconds to wreak havoc.).

One day in late spring this year, Elijah was being especially resistant to having to relax for an hour, and he told me,

“It’s not fair! You get to stay down here and do work, and I have to do Quiet Time.”

I replied, “You’re right. It’s not fair.”

That boy totally had Quiet Time that day. Haha.

But his warped sense of fairness got me thinking.

How many times do we compare our situation with someone else’s and misjudge the circumstances because all we see is our side of things?

We don’t generally know everything that someone else has gone through, but we can be quick to say, or at least think, “It’s not fair.”

We see that they have a nicer house or a new car. We don’t see that they have sacrificed time with their family or worked for years to get a promotion that pays for it.

Their Facebook status says they’re going on a date night…again! We haven’t had a date night since our last child was born (not totally a true story). We don’t see that they’ve finally come through years of marital struggles, where they didn’t even want to be in the same room with each other, and are now celebrating the restoration of their relationship.

They are given a place of leadership in a church ministry, but we’ve been at the church as long as they have. We don’t know the hours they’ve spent with God, seeking His will and His face, and serving faithfully when no one saw them.

I had someone tell me once that my relationship with God was easier because I “grew up” in the church, as if I had an unfair advantage. While I understood what she meant – being exposed to the Truth early in life and having the good example and guidance of parents allowed me to build a strong foundation early on. However, what she didn’t understand was that I had to make the choice to follow God every day – it’s not just a given. I had to know the Word, I had to pray, and I had to work on my relationship with Him in order to maintain and build on that foundation.

Sure, sometimes, life can truly be unfair. Yes, that’s going to happen because we live in a fallen world. However, a lot of the time, we’re only viewing things from our own limited perspective. We don’t see all the hard work, the struggles, or the past difficulties of those around us. Just because we’d like what they have, doesn’t mean it’s unfair for them to have it or for us not to have it.

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Out of the Mouth of Babes, Elijah and Quiet Time

One of those days when Elijah “wasn’t” tired.

After Jesus’s resurrection, He spent time with His disciples, and in the same conversation where He restored Peter by asking Peter to feed His sheep, Jesus hints at how life will go for this impulsive disciple.

In John 21:18 -19, He says “ ‘Most assuredly, I say to you, when you were younger, you girded yourself and walked where you wished; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do not wish.’  This He spoke, signifying by what death he would glorify God. And when He had spoken this, He said to him, ‘Follow Me.’”

It doesn’t sound pretty, and Peter wants to know what is ahead for others, such as John.

“Then Peter, turning around, saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following… Peter, seeing him, said to Jesus, ‘But Lord, what about this man?’

Jesus said to him, ‘If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you? You follow Me.’“ (John 21:20-22)

That doesn’t sound fair. But what does Jesus say? “You follow Me.” (My version – Don’t worry about John, Peter. You worry about being obedient to me.)

God is just. God is fair. Trust Him, be obedient to Him, and don’t worry about how your life compares with someone else’s.

Elijah only saw that I didn’t have to go to sleep. He didn’t see that I would be spending that “not sleeping” time working hard to keep up with housework and start dinner for us, him included.

One of these days in the distant future, Elijah will be longing for the very naptime and Quiet Time he eschews now, and he will see it through new eyes. I have a feeling that his sense of what is “fair” and “not fair” just might change by then.