Life in Lape Haven

Category - Encouragement

Jamie and the Candy

October 13, 2015
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Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Jamie and the Candy. We are to live our lives to please God, not the other way around.

For today’s “Quote from My Children,” I’m bending my meaning of “my children” a bit. I don’t have a child named Jamie, but several years ago, our church team and I taught a little boy named Jamie, along with dozens of other children who attended our “Sidewalk Sunday School” outreach. When I minister and teach, all the kids take a place in my heart as “my children.”

For most of high school, I spent my Saturday mornings on the basketball court of a rough low-income housing development, singing songs, playing games, and teaching children about Jesus and how much He loves them. It was just like children’s church on Sunday morning, except the kids weren’t all decked out and spit-shined. When they saw us arrive or heard the music start up, they would rush out of the apartments in whatever clothes they did (or did not) have on, hair all kinds of crazy, remnants of breakfast or last night’s dinner on their faces and hands, and some without shoes, so it was a good thing we’d swept up all the broken glass before the kids arrived.

They ran to us because they knew they were welcomed, cherished, and loved. They came every week, leaving Saturday morning cartoons behind, for a chance to have fun, laugh, hear about a God Who loved them, and get prizes and candy, in addition to hugs and kind words.

The “Quiet Seat” prize was always a big deal and great incentive for children to sit as still as they could, be quiet when they needed to be, and participate when the time came. Of course that prize of a giant candy bar, a small toy, bubbles, or something else exciting to a child was only for one boy and one girl who were extra special good that day. Other smaller prizes could be won by playing one of the games throughout the event.

While kids worked really hard to earn the Quiet Seat prize or win a game, they were consoled by the fact that everyone who came, sat, listened, and participated would get a small bag of candy at the end. Once the songs, games, memory verse, lesson, and prayer were done, our team would make our way through the 40 or so kids gathered to pass out candy to each one. We always reminded them that Jesus loved them.

Jamie was one of our regular attenders, a boy of about 8 or 9. He lived in the complex and came pretty much every week. We knew his siblings and his grandma. And we ALL knew Jamie.

He was a bit of a handful – obstinate, loud, fidgety, and prone to arguing with the other kids. Since we had the kids sit girls on one side with female team members and boys on the other with the men on the team, Jamie drove some of my youth group guy friends CRAZY!!!

Then one day as we were passing out candy, somehow Jamie got overlooked. I think it was an accident. 🙂

Suddenly we hear Jamie complaining, “Jesus don’t love ME ‘cause I didn’t get any caaandy!” (Really wish I could type it as it sounded – a little southern boy with LOTS of attitude…who didn’t get any caaandy.)

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Jamie and the Candy. We are to live our lives to please God, not the other way around.

Of course we remedied the situation quickly and gave him his candy, but he continued to make a big deal about how he hadn’t gotten any initially because…well, that was Jamie.

His quote became a quotable to me because of the way he said it and because of what was behind what he said.

He could have easily just said, “I didn’t get any candy,” and we would have gotten him a bag. But he took what he KNEW we wanted him to know – that Jesus loves him – and made his lack of candy into a lack of love from Jesus.

Because, you know, WE didn’t let him down. Jesus did.

I honestly don’t think he thought that; I think he was just trying to be somewhat manipulative and get extra attention, bless his heart.

But there are SOOO many people who do this and believe it.

If Jesus loved them, He would make them happy.

If Jesus loved them, He would solve their problems.

If Jesus loved them, He would give them what they want.

If Jesus loved them, people wouldn’t let them down.

If Jesus loved them, their loved one would be well.

If Jesus loved them, nothing bad would ever happen to them.

I’m not sure when Jesus became equated with a genie in a bottle or Santa Claus, but that is not how it works. The Gospel isn’t that Jesus is here to jump up at your every beck and call to please you. It’s actually kind of the opposite.

He loved us before we even knew Him, died for us when we REALLY didn’t deserve it, and He offers us forgiveness and eternal life that He paid for. In return, we offer Him all of us because this is the only thing we have, and even that doesn’t match all He’s done for us. We are to live our lives to please Him, not the other way around.

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Jamie and the Candy. We are to live our lives to please God, not the other way around.

Does He bless us? Yes. Do we deserve it? No. Does He want us to have an abundant life? In John 10:10, Jesus says that’s why He came, but make sure your definition matches His.

People who decide to follow Jesus so they can be “happy” end up a bit disappointed. They seem to skip over verses such as John 16:33 where Jesus promises trouble. (Thanks, Jesus.) But really, He says, “In this world you WILL have tribulation…” So, no. Not always a happy, no problems ride.

However, in that same verse, He also tells us, “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace.” and “be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” He wants us to have peace and good cheer, but it’s not from a lack of trouble. We can have peace and joy even in the midst of trouble because we are rooted in Him.

God is so good to us. We never deserve it. He always loves us. We don’t deserve that either. He sent His Son to us to be mistreated, beaten, despised, and killed – for us. And we have the nerve to snap our fingers, and say, “Garçon.”

If we loved Jesus, we would live our lives to make Him happy and bring Him joy.

If we loved Jesus, we would walk in obedience, patience, and trust, asking for His wisdom, which would probably prevent or solve at least some of our problems.

If we loved Jesus, we would make what He wants and asks of us our top priority.

If we loved Jesus, we would forgive those who have hurt us and let us down.

If we loved Jesus, we would trust His plan and believe He is in control.

If we loved Jesus, we could face the bad, knowing that He is with us and that He works all things “for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

If we loved Jesus, we’d know that He loves us, and be content in that, even when we don’t get any candy.

Elijah and Heaven

October 12, 2015
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Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Elijah and Heaven. Elijah's conversation about meeting friends in Heaven.

The summer Elijah turned three, our family mourned the passing of both my paternal grandmother and Brad’s maternal grandfather. Elijah knew that they had both dealt with illness and poor health for quite a while, and we had been to visit them both as often as we could, so he’d become close to them.

Elijah has always been a rather mature child when it comes to spiritual things, so we didn’t hesitate to talk to him about it when his great-grandpa died. I explained to him that while we would still see Great-Grandpa’s body in the casket at the funeral, the “real” him had already gone to Heaven to be with God because Great-Grandpa had trusted in Jesus as his Savior and followed Him. We were able to say the same when his great-grandma passed.

Elijah still would have questions every so often, but the conversations we had with Elijah prior to the funerals and in the months following are what eventually led to him making the decision to give his heart to Jesus and follow Him. I know that my grandma and Brad’s grandpa rejoiced that day in Heaven.

Then this year, not long before his fifth birthday, we had another death in the family, my sister-in-law’s mother, Miss Deborah.

When we told Elijah about it, we talked about how much Miss Deborah loved Jesus and how she was ready to be with Him.

Elijah said, “I wonder what she’s doing right now in Heaven?”

I replied, “I don’t know, but I bet she’s happy.” Nodding, he agreed, “Yeah, she’s probably talking to everyone.” (Miss Deborah was a warm, sweet, welcoming woman, and I could see her talking to everyone)

Then I had a thought I knew he’d like. “Maybe she said, ‘Hi’ to Great-Grandma.”

Smiling, Elijah clearly enjoyed the idea of them meeting each other again in heaven. “Yeah! She probably already saw Great-Grandpa, and she was like, ‘Who’s that?’ because she’d never met him.”

Then he added, “When I go to Heaven, I’m going to see Noah and Elijah.” (From the Bible)

I asked, “What about God?”

“I’d probably see Him all over. He’ll probably be popping up everywhere!”

While it was a sad time, and we still miss them all, it was sweet to be reminded of the joy that awaits us with God and think about how “He’ll be popping up everywhere!” 🙂

And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God.  And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”

Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.” – Revelations 21:3-5

Elijah and the Ensemble

October 11, 2015
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Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Elijah and the Ensemble. Let's just be real and honest

As I’ve already mentioned this past week, Elijah and nap time/quiet time stopped getting along quite a while ago. Quiet Time was instituted when it became very clear that getting him to actually nap every single day was just a happy memory.

His naptime had actually been a futile effort for a few months before it was put out of its misery. I spent much of “naptime” hearing noises in his room, then going up to investigate, then telling him to get back into his bed, and then coming back downstairs until the bumps, squeaks, and thuds started again.

Sometimes, though, he was a bit stealthier in hiding his lack of napping. However, as he has learned, Mommy will always figure out the truth sooner or later, and usually sooner than you want her to. You can’t hide stuff from your moms, kids! (Especially not ones who are listening closely to the Lord. If she doesn’t find out on her own, He’ll reveal it to her. Can I get an “Amen!”?)

One day when Elijah laid down for his nap, he was wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt and jeans. He wanted to leave his clothes on, and I let him. After a book, a prayer, and a hug, I left him upstairs to rest.

Less than hour later, my child came downstairs in an entirely new, and decidedly unique, ensemble. One look at his outfit, and I knew he hadn’t even TRIED to take a nap.

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Elijah and the Ensemble. Let's just be real and honest

When I asked him what he was doing out of bed so early, he claimed, “I took a good, long nap.”

It was hard to keep a straight face, especially with him wearing a silly little hat that was several sizes too small because it came off a stuffed animal! A stuffed animal that, I might add, was not anywhere near his bed.

When I questioned him, he denied any and all accusations that he might have been playing instead of napping. Uh-huh.

Standing in my living room, I studied his sweater and shorts combo accessorized with the giant Mickey bag, his face with its carefully serious and innocent expression, and did my best not to laugh at the ridiculousness.

He totally thought he could fool me.

Even as I laugh at this silly picture of the boy who tried to lie to Mommy, I can’t help but think about how many times we try to do this as Christians.

No matter how clearly our lives are showing one thing (struggle, difficulties, bad habits, lack of time with God), we can pretend like the best of them. We’ll smile, tell people “I’m fine,” and raise our hands in worship while our mind is anywhere but on God. We hope that the people around us are fooled.

It’s kind of like when we try to take those “Pinterest perfect” pictures to post online. You pick the least messy part of the house to take the picture to make everyone believe that your home is really clean, not realizing that stray sock is smack in the middle of the floor in the background.

The Bible tells us, though, that “the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). God is never fooled by what we say, how we act, or what we look like. He knows us as we are – our flaws, our mistakes, our hurts, our motives, our potential.

Let’s just be real. Let’s just be honest. Let’s be repentant. God isn’t fooled, and chances are, neither is everyone else. Being real gives God the chance to extend forgiveness (If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:9), help us correct our errors, heal our wounds, and encourage us in our purpose.

If Elijah would have been doing what he was supposed to, he may have had bedhead, but at least he wouldn’t have had to wear that goofy hat to hide that he didn’t.

Josiah and Jesus Loves Me

October 9, 2015
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Josiah & Jesus Loves Me: A Lesson in Love from a 2-year-old, Life in Lape Haven. My toddler's version of "Jesus Loves Me" is a great reminder that because Jesus loves others, we do, too.

About a week after Elijah started kindergarten, he came home on Friday afternoon, and Josiah, who was feeling the daily absence of his big brother, decided to do a little show for Elijah while I was cooking dinner. (A lot of our life happens in the kitchen).

Standing on top off their daddy’s old yellow art box as his stage, Josiah began his performance with a greeting of “Gentlemen!” in a surprisingly deep voice for a 2-year-old. After a short, mixed-up version of the alphabet (“C-B-S”), he got to the main event: serenading his brother with “Jesus Loves Me.” However, his rendition took a sweet turn, as you’ll see:

For some reason, little Josiah tended to always sing this song as “Jesus loves YOU,” instead of “Jesus loves me.” But that was okay with me. He clearly knew that God loved him. (He had told me just that morning, very confidently, that “God likes me. Jesus likes me, too.”)78

What I loved about his song to Elijah was that Josiah simplified our calling as Christians down to one or two lines and declared it with such joy!

“Jesus ‘lub’ you, this I know. I ‘lub’ you!”Josiah & Jesus Loves Me: A Lesson in Love from a 2-year-old, Life in Lape Haven. My toddler's version of "Jesus Loves Me" is a great reminder that because Jesus loves others, we do, too.

In 1 John 4:19 & 20, we’re reminded:

“We love Him because He first loved us. If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?”

 
Jesus loves me, so I love Him; Jesus loves you, so I love you, too.

 

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Josiah and the Highway

October 8, 2015
1 Comment
Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days, Josiah and the Highway

Not long ago, Josiah and I were headed out to the grocery store after dropping Elijah off at school. We took the back way there, which brings us out to the main four-lane highway in our area, which meant I had to cross two lanes of northbound, oncoming traffic to head south to the store.

Sitting at the stop sign, I was waiting for a chance to at least cross to the median, and Josiah got impatient with me.

“Go, Mommy!”

“I can’t go, yet, Josiah. There are cars coming. I have to wait until it’s safe for us to go across,” I explained.

Without missing a beat, my 2-year-old answered, “Jesus make us safe, Mommy. Jesus make us safe.”

Aaannd…there it is again. The simple, sweet faith of a child.

“Jesus make us safe.”

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days, Josiah and the Highway

And underneath that innocent trust, is a much deeper, imperative truth.

I could do everything in my power to be safe, watch traffic, pay attention, be alert and aware, and still life is not in my control. Other drivers (distracted, under the influence, or careless), natural disasters, angry people with guns – I have no control over them.

I can’t entirely protect my children from mean kids at school, every disappointment or failure they’ll experience, sickness or random injuries (with my active boys, injuries are almost guaranteed), or the worldly influences they will encounter in their lives.

“Jesus make us safe.”

What I can do is make sure my boys know with certainty where their true safety lies. What I can do is teach them, help them, and show them how to build their foundation on the Rock, on Jesus. They need to be firmly, solidly rooted in Him, so that when storms come (and they will to all of us), my boys stand firm despite the winds, torrents, or destruction left in its wake.

The story of the wise man building his house on the rock (Matthew 7:24-27) is one of Josiah’s favorite in the Kids Bible App. He calls it, “Storm.” We’ve read it over and over. Each time, I remind him of what it means, and clearly he’s getting it, as much as a 2-year-old can at this point.

“Jesus make us safe.”

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days, Josiah and the Highway

As parents, if we want our children to trust and build on the Rock, WE have to trust and build our own house on the Rock. We shouldn’t just run to the negative when trouble hits or let circumstances shake our confidence in God’s power over those circumstances. Sure, we’ll feel the shaking. We may even doubt or begin to worry. However, if we’ve been solidifying our own foundations in Christ, when the winds start to howl and our doubts begin to whisper to us, something inside of us, or rather Someone inside of us, should rise up and speak peace to our hearts, trust in the trials, and focus our eyes not on the storm, but on the One who calms them.

Don’t always shield your child from the difficulties you are facing. Allow them to pray and trust with you. I learned that I could rely on God to take care of me by watching how He took care of my parents. When they needed money unexpectedly or faced health issues, they didn’t hide it all from us. They brought us in, praying together, trusting together, and rejoicing together when God came through, as He always will. (Sometimes it isn’t as we expect Him to answer, but He’s there with us through it, working out His plans for our good – Romans 8:28)

Our lives should speak to our children, proclaiming, “Jesus make us safe.” Yes, the statement isn’t proper grammar; it’s two-year-old speech. However, if you need to, you can also turn it from proclamation to prayer, “Jesus, make us safe.”

God has to be my security, my foundation, my refuge in the storms. God has to be their security, their foundation, their refuge in the storms.

He, alone, can make us safe.

Elijah and the Ninja Skills

October 7, 2015
8 Comments
Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Out of the Mouth of Babes, Elijah and the Ninja Skills.

Around Lape Haven, we kind of love silly. We thrive on imagination and creativity. We choose birthday party themes based on how costume-friendly they are. (We really do.)

But I have to say, sometimes, I am still amazed at how quirky my kids can be. They provide me with hours of entertainment and laughter, sometimes unintentionally.

For example, last fall Elijah became obsessed with being a ninja, or at least his interpretation of a ninja. (I don’t think he’s ever seen a real ninja, and it definitely shows. For one, his ninja is very noisy. 🙂 )

He insisted on wearing all black, or at least all “dark” and “plain,” when he was playing, so he could look like a ninja, and he was always showing off his “ninja skills.” He would say, “See my ninja skills,” and do some arm flailing and jumps, pretending to fight and do karate. Josiah, our little “monkey see, monkey do-er,” would follow along, echoing, “See my gills.”

One evening while I was working on dinner, the boys came into the kitchen to demonstrate those skills, and Elijah proceeded to give me instructions on how to “jump like a ninja.” Listening to his directions, accompanied by the motions, I felt as though I were in a Will Ferrell skit:

“You turn, then you squat, and then you come up like a flower!”

Yes, he said to be a ninja, “you come up like a flower!” Hahaha.

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Out of the Mouth of Babes, Elijah and the Ninja Skills.

Elijah as a ninja, with his sidekick, Josiah, who dressed himself that day.

And it’s not just the ninja thing. Elijah is fascinated with bugs, watching The Weather Channel, and making “crafts” from whatever he can pull from our recycle bin. Josiah is our techie, much to Daddy’s delight and despair, since Josiah can download an app in a heartbeat. He’s also our daredevil who isn’t afraid of heights or falls or going too fast.

The boys will dress up in anything (see Day 1 of the series and the snorkel mask). They truly DO dance like nobody is watching, only they are always hoping that someone is. They don’t care if the clothes they pick match, are fashionable, or even fit them! (Just yesterday, Elijah came downstairs in a 2T-sized Air Force uniform that his cousin gave him when Elijah was 2. Yeah, it’s a bit snug.) They sing loudly, with more enthusiasm than skill, and make up songs that make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

While I do enforce some guidelines when we are going out and about (no snorkel masks in church, for one), I try not to stifle their play time by imposing too many of my “grown up” rules on them. I want them to stay little for as long as they can and to stay confident in who they are and in who God made them to be.

Too many people start out as unique, expressive children, then as they grow, begin to listen to what the world around them says is “cool” or “beautiful.” Some may eventually come back to being comfortable in who they are, but others lose that child-like freedom and spend most of their life trying to be everyone else.

The Bible tells us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) and that God knows the plans that He has for us (Jeremiah 29:11). I know that those are probably two of the more quoted verses in Christianity, but do we truly embrace them? Do we trust that God made us with our odd sense of humor or our dramatic flair or our interest in bugs for a reason?

Personally, I like dancing, I like acting, I like reading and writing, I’m often loud, I like to laugh, I can be rather goofy, and I love simple things, such as lightning bugs, fireworks, and dandelion puffs. Growing up, at points, I struggled with allowing all those things to show. Other girls were quiet and dainty, soft-spoken, graceful.

I really wasn’t those things, and I didn’t know why I couldn’t be. I AM stubborn, though, and that part of me refused to be told what I had to be like. I wanted to be uniquely me, but just me. I didn’t want to be so different that people thought I was a freak or trying too hard (some people go to that end of the spectrum, too).

Then one day everything clicked into place, and God’s plan in creating me the way I am, made so much sense, I had to laugh. It was a day in high school when I helped with the children’s outreach from church. That Saturday morning, I was able to sing and dance around, act goofy, laugh loudly, cheer and scream, and wonder at the simple, wonderful things along with the children to whom we were ministering.

I was able to be me, completely me, fearfully and wonderfully made, with a purpose and plan that glorified the One who had created me. My personality and talents are perfect for children’s ministry. My heart sparked to life that day, and I have served, in some way, in children’s ministry, ever since.

So, if you see my kids’ pictures on here, Facebook, or Instagram (you can follow along – hint, hint), and they are being silly and dorky and completely free to be them, if Elijah is talking about the weather or showing off his “shaker” made from a yogurt container and rocks, or if Josiah’s been scaling the counters as Superman (again), just know that we’re busy uncovering the gifts, talents, and purposes that God has in my boys, and we’re encouraging them to be the little men God designed them to be, so they can fulfill to the fullest extent the calling He’s placed on them, whatever it is, whenever it is.

I’m fine with them being little ninjas and practicing those skills. Little ninjas grow up to be mighty warriors.

———–

Just because my kids crack me up, here’s a little video of those awesome ninja skills.

Enjoy! (Note: If you’re wondering what Josiah has on at the end, he’s wearing his brother’s too-large, red slippers and one volleyball kneepad. Just because.)