Life in Lape Haven

Category - Parenting

What Will Be in My Hospital Bag?

February 14, 2017
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Life in Lape Haven: What Will Be In My Hospital Bag? Labor, Deliver, & Postpartum Stay. With my experiences from two previous hospital deliveries, here's a list of what I'm packing for my labor, delivery, & postpartum stay in the hospital this third pregnancy.
So, here I am, sitting at about 38-1/2 weeks pregnant, knowing that both of our boys were born at exactly 39 weeks and that my doctor would prefer that this little guy follow that trend… and yet I still don’t have my hospital bag packed.

With keeping up with our boys and everyday life, plus trying to prepare ahead for Christmas with a newborn, the hospital bag is more a list than a reality right now.

I know. This is totally our third kid.

I remember with my first pregnancy having my bag ready early, just like the books and websites all suggested, and even with my second time around, we were prepped by 37 or 38 weeks, as much as we could be. What couldn’t be packed ahead of time was written down on a sticky-note and stuck to the matching bag, so we knew exactly what we needed to grab when it was time to go.

And we’re working our way to that point this week, all the while hoping that Baby #3 really does stick with the trend of arriving on the exact day that I’ll be 39 weeks, rather than coming even earlier.

Life in Lape Haven: What Will Be In My Hospital Bag? Labor, Deliver, & Postpartum Stay. With my experiences from two previous hospital deliveries, here's a list of what I'm packing for my labor, delivery, & postpartum stay in the hospital this third pregnancy.

Picture courtesy of Picture Bliss Photography.

But since I do at least have my list, I thought I’d share it with you because I’ve added things I didn’t have the first time or two, and I’m sure there are things that I took before that I know I won’t need to bother with.

(This post contains affiliate links, which means that at no additional cost to you, I may receive a small commission if you use those links.)

LABOR & DELIVERY BAG

Okay, first off – I do make up two separate bags: one for immediate use with labor and delivery, and one for our postpartum stay in the hospital. This was a suggestion from the hospital from our very first trip to labor and delivery, and it works very well.

In the delivery bag, you want anything that you are going to need for the actual labor and delivery or up until they get you settled in your postpartum room after baby’s arrival.

The Bag – For me, I don’t need a lot for my delivery, but most of what I’ll take in will be going in my Kelly Moore diaper/camera bag (the Libby). I got this bag as a diaper bag when Josiah was little, and I love it. It fits everything I need when I’m out and about with my kids, but it also provides a space (and protection) for my camera and lenses. For the hospital trip, it will be more delivery bag than diaper bag, but once we’re home, it’ll be stuffed with diapers, wipes, changing pad, changes of clothes for the baby, diaper cream, toys, my nursing cover, snacks, keys, cell phone, wallet, camera, etc.

Robe – Because we all know hospital gowns aren’t the coziest or the covering-est, and I plan on doing some walking through the halls while I’m laboring.  Of course, once we get closer to delivery, the robe can easily come off.  You can purchase special delivery gowns to wear at the hospital, but I’m fine with possibly getting the hospital’s gown messy rather than something I brought with me and will have to clean later. For comfort and modesty, I’ll use my robe.

Slippers – Again, walking helps when you’re in labor, and my slippers have always been right there with me. I’ve gotten the same kind of slippers for years, even before I was married, to wear around the house, especially during the winter: Dearfoam Matte Spandex Ballet Slippers. I definitely don’t want to be walking around the hospital in socks, or worse, barefoot.

Nursing Bra & Pads – One thing that I didn’t know when Elijah (my first ) was born, was that I could nurse him pretty much immediately after delivery. I had no clue at that point what I was doing when it came to breastfeeding, besides knowing that I wanted to, so I waited until we were in our postpartum room before the nurse helped me feed him. With Josiah, I was better educated, and he was a way better eater, so he nursed as soon as they had his initial measurements in the delivery room. While my milk usually doesn’t come in before delivery, I’d rather be prepared with my Bamboobies nursing pads from the get-go. They are the absolute best nursing pads ever. (I used disposable ones of every kind with Elijah, and not only hated them but dealt with clogged ducts numerous times. With Josiah, I decided to try the washable Bamboobies and never had those problems. Plus they are so comfy and don’t leak!)

Life in Lape Haven: What Will Be In My Hospital Bag? Labor, Deliver, & Postpartum Stay. With my experiences from two previous hospital deliveries, here's a list of what I'm packing for my labor, delivery, & postpartum stay in the hospital this third pregnancy.

Birth Plan(ish) – With Elijah, I had printed out a birth plan with all my ideals for delivery checked off. As a first-time mom, though, the on-call doctor wasn’t impressed, even mocking me at one point because I was so determined to deliver as naturally as possible. She doubted me…until I proved her wrong. 🙂 When Josiah’s delivery came around, I didn’t print anything off, but I was much more confident and vocal about what I needed and didn’t, and the doctor (same one as Elijah’s delivery) now knew me and was fine with going along with my wishes. This time I should have my own doctor at the delivery, and we’ve already discussed how I hope this birth goes, so we’re all in on “the plan.” Of course, as with any delivery, I know to be flexible and listen to my doctor’s advice for the safety of my baby.

Camera – My good camera, charged and with a cleared memory card is an absolute must, even if it’s my hubby or mom taking pictures and not me. Capturing those first precious moments with my little guy are priceless.

Baby Book – Because we don’t want to miss getting his little footprint in it. We may not fill out the whole book over the next year or two, but those prints will be there! 🙂

Life in Lape Haven: What Will Be In My Hospital Bag? Labor, Deliver, & Postpartum Stay. With my experiences from two previous hospital deliveries, here's a list of what I'm packing for my labor, delivery, & postpartum stay in the hospital this third pregnancy.

Cell Phone with Charger – Not only do we need to be ready to let family and friends know when our little guy is officially here, but I may just play some music this time around during labor. I’ve never wanted a playlist or anything before, but I might this time. Having our Amazon Prime account means that I can stream whatever music I’m in the mood for, whether it’s calming and encouraging praise and worship or as I’ve joked (but may totally do it) – Christmas music.   Try Amazon Prime 30-Day Free Trial

Snacks for Hubby – Some doctors say, “Let the momma eat during labor,” and others don’t allow it. I’ve never really been hungry during labor, anyway, so beyond the popsicles that the hospital provided, I didn’t need anything. Brad, on the other hand, might want a granola bar or two to get him through, depending on when we end up at the hospital and how long the process takes this time. I’d rather have him there beside me than traipsing through the halls looking for a vending machine or headed to the cafeteria!

HOSPITAL BAG

Once baby is born, and we’re all snug in our own little room, I’ll need my main hospital bag. Beyond the usual clothes and toiletries of any overnight stay, I plan to pack:

Nursing Gown – I purchased a Dressed to Deliver Gown that can be worn for either a hospital delivery gown, a nursing gown, or even a maternity dress. As I said before, I don’t plan to wear it for the actual delivery, even though it’s really comfy, because I don’t want to risk getting it messy and then not having it to wear during the rest of my hospital stay. I’d much rather have it as a nursing gown, especially since it has snaps on the shoulders that make it perfectly designed for kangaroo care skin-to-skin. Not many nursing gowns offer that.

Life in Lape Haven: What Will Be In My Hospital Bag? Labor, Deliver, & Postpartum Stay. With my experiences from two previous hospital deliveries, here's a list of what I'm packing for my labor, delivery, & postpartum stay in the hospital this third pregnancy.

Extra Undies – I have learned from my previous two deliveries that those awesome mesh panties from the hospital are so one-size-fits-all that they don’t stay comfortably in place for me. So, I end up wearing a pair of my own over them, to keep them a bit more snug and secure.

Pillow & Throw – I always take my own pillow because it’s more comfortable, and I know I’m going to need the best possible rest I can manage (haha- in the hospital!) Tip: Make sure you use a pillowcase that isn’t plain white. That way it doesn’t get mixed up with the hospital bedding. I’m also planning to add my flannel throw into the suitcase this time around because I hate being cold, and I always seemed to be during my last two stays.

Dry Shampoo – This is a new one. I didn’t discover the awesomeness of dry shampoo until last year, when I had to start taking Elijah to school and picking him up every day. Before then, I was staying home with our two boys most days, so if I didn’t get to wash my hair for a day or two, no one noticed. However, having this on-hand at the hospital, when I may not get to (or feel like) getting a shower immediately after delivery or before visitors come, will help me feel a little more pulled together.

Small Mirror – Having a small stand-up mirror available to touch up or do my makeup and hair at the hospital bed is always helpful.

Goodies – While our hospital always provides new mommas with a constant supply of snacks and treats during their stay, I’ll also be taking along the goodies that came in my Amazon Baby Registry Welcome Box.

FOR BABY

So far, everything I’ve listed has been primarily for me. But what about our newest addition?

For him, we’re packing a few long-sleeve side-snap shirts (good for not rubbing on the tender umbilical cord, and yes, the hospital has them but usually in sizes too big), mittens (my kids have always scratched their little faces as newborns), socks (not sure they’ll stay on), sleep gowns (we love those for the first few weeks because they make diaper changes so easy), & a coming home outfit (two, in fact – one newborn size and one 0-3 months, just in case he’s a bigger boy). Of course, we’ll also have the car seat along with a carseat cover (I call it our “hot potato” because it’s silver and keeps our babies warm).

That’s my list. Now all I have to do is make sure I get it all packed and ready in the next few days before this little guy decides to make his arrival. 🙂

Is there anything you would add? What was the best thing you packed in your hospital bag?

The Best Thing I’ve Gotten for Myself This Pregnancy: BabyBellyBand Maternity Support Belt

November 8, 2016
2 Comments
Life in Lape Haven: The Best Thing I've Gotten for Myself This Pregnancy: BabyBellyBand Maternity Support Belt. After a month of wearing a BabyBellyBand maternity support belt, here's a review of my experience wearing it, how it has helped with varicose veins, swelling, and other pregnancy discomforts, and a coupon code for you.

As a mom of two, when I found out I was pregnant with our third child, I figured I knew what I was getting into. For the most part, I was right. My experiences with my previous two pregnancies were pretty good preparation for what I was going to face over the next 40 weeks.

However, as every mom learns, just like no two children are alike, each pregnancy is different and comes with its own set of adjustments and symptoms.

And this pregnancy, while similar enough to my last two, has still been introducing me to a few new issues that I’d never faced before.

The biggest and most difficult to manage was how quickly my baby bump grew, causing my weight to accumulate sooner than I was used to, and how low this baby has stayed the entire pregnancy. (And I didn’t eat differently or do more or less exercise than my previous pregnancies).

My bigger and lower belly so early on meant that I was dealing with lots of discomfort, pressure, and soreness through my belly, pelvic floor, legs, and feet earlier than I was used to. I remember telling my doctor that I was feeling late-pregnancy symptoms already, and it was only the middle of my pregnancy.

Life in Lape Haven: The Best Thing I've Gotten for Myself This Pregnancy: BabyBellyBand Maternity Support Belt. After a month of wearing a BabyBellyBand maternity support belt, here's a review of my experience wearing it, how it has helped with varicose veins, swelling, and other pregnancy discomforts, and a coupon code for you.

Nearly 26 weeks pregnant.

It actually became difficult for me to be up on my feet for too long, even just the time it took to vacuum the house or do the dishes, and I was only in my second trimester.  So I started looking for solutions because there was no way I was going to spend the next 15 weeks with this kind of pain slowing me down.

I needed something to help support this ever-growing baby bump.

Having heard of maternity support belts through various different sites, I began looking at the prices and reviews of various brands that offered everything from light support to compression to postpartum hip and belly shrinking.

I also talked to my doctor again as I was experiencing more pressure and a bruise-y, burning pain…um…down below…that was not ligament or muscle-related. Her diagnosis was something I suspected from my online research – varicose veins in that area (vulvar varicosity), which was something I’d never heard of before this pregnancy.

With that diagnosis, I asked her opinion about a maternity support belt, especially one with groin compression straps. Since I still had nearly 10 weeks to go at that point, she said that a belt would definitely be worth it.

So, I went back to the options I had researched, and decided to go with BabyBellyBand by Cabea Orthopedic Designs, which offered not only an abdominal support band that could be used both during and after pregnancy, but also had optional compression therapy groin bands to help with the varicose veins.  Their bands were also less expensive than other brands I’d seen, but they still had great reviews.

Life in Lape Haven: The Best Thing I've Gotten for Myself This Pregnancy: BabyBellyBand Maternity Support Belt. After a month of wearing a BabyBellyBand maternity support belt, here's a review of my experience wearing it, how it has helped with varicose veins, swelling, and other pregnancy discomforts, and a coupon code for you.

The final selling point was the quick response I got from their customer service when I had a question about what size band to order. Caroline, the CEO and designer, replied and offered her suggestion and let me know that I would be able to exchange it if necessary.

I chose the 2-3 day shipping because I was ready for some relief (even moving my legs to turn over in bed was painful).

I was seriously excited when my maternity support belt arrived.

The instructions for putting on the belt were easy to follow, even if I did look like a sumo wrestler once I had it on (the pregnant belly only adds to the effect).  🙂

I’m not exaggerating when I say that the support belt made an IMMEDIATE difference. It was almost like magic!

In the first week I had it, I really put it to the test, too. I went with Elijah on his class field trip to the pumpkin patch, where I kept up with first graders all day as we walked around the farm, through a sunflower maze, all over the barn with its straw-strewn floors (VERY uneven, slippery footing), and out into the pumpkin fields via a rather bumpy hayride (in a wagon with a very high step to get in and out of). Then a couple of days later, my family and I enjoyed a day at a local fall festival, which meant walking around for several hours without sitting down once.

Through all of that, I was able to move around comfortably and with very minimal pain, especially compared to what I had been experiencing on even my easiest days of just doing basic housekeeping.

Out of curiosity, I did try going without the band one evening while I was working in the kitchen, cleaning and making dinner, which would mean that I was up on my feet for a couple of hours. In less than 30 minutes, I felt the support belt’s absence. In another half hour or so, I was putting it back on.

When I first got it, I was worried that the maternity support belt would be uncomfortable or that it would show through under my clothing. Neither one of those worries were necessary.

Once I wiggle into it and get it in place in the morning (it IS a very strong elastic band – kind of like getting on a pair of Spanx), I can forget that I have it on, and no one else can tell. The only inconvenience is when I have to go to the bathroom (since I have the groin straps), because then I am wiggling it down and back up. But again, no worse than other things we women put ourselves through, and the relief is worth it.

The belt does get a little sweaty when I’ve been very active or it’s a warm day, but I won’t feel it until I take it off, so it’s not that big of a deal. Plus, it is machine washable and dryable, so it’s easy to keep it clean.

I’ve been wearing this maternity support band every day for about a month. The only time I take it off is when I’m sleeping or taking a shower, or it’s being washed.

Before I got it, I would have to take frequent rests throughout the day, and I still had pain, discomfort, and swelling.

With it, I’ve noticed significantly less pain, not only from the varicose veins, but also from my belly stretching in general, less aching in my legs, and less swelling and pain in my feet. I’ve been able to continue doing things or get back to doing things around the house or out and about that were getting difficult for me without it.

It has seriously been the best thing I’ve gotten for myself this pregnancy, and I wish I’d had it for my previous two.

Since I’ve seen such a difference with this maternity support band, I wanted to share my experience with you. I contacted Caroline at BabyBellyBand again and asked her if I could use pictures from her site (because you don’t want to see me in my pregnant sumo wrestler get-up…trust me. The band works amazingly, but it’s not for looks. 🙂 ).

I also asked her if there was anything special I could offer my readers who might be interested in her products, too, because I know so many mommies who are expecting right now who could benefit from a BabyBellyBand Abdominal Support belt.

Caroline was very happy to hear how much the product helped me, and she graciously offered a special coupon code for you all to use! 🙂

By entering the coupon code lapehaven , you’ll get 10% off your purchase from BabyBellyBand.

(In the checkout/shopping cart area, above where you enter you billing and shipping info, is a gray box that says, “Have a Coupon ? Click Here to Enter Your Code.”)

4 Things that Helped Me through 2 Unmedicated “Natural” Deliveries

October 22, 2016
9 Comments
Life in Lape Haven: 4 Things that Helped Me Through 2 Unmedicated Natural Deliveries. With my third child due soon, I've gotten lots of questions about my birth plan and my experiences with my previous two unmedicated natural deliveries. Here are the four things that got me through each birth.

As I get closer to my due date for our third child (we have about 7-8 weeks to go), it’s been impossible not to look back at my previous two deliveries as I prepare to face this one. In addition, I’ve gotten lots of questions, now and ever since my first child was born, about my experiences with unmedicated “natural” deliveries (meaning vaginal, not induced, no pain medications, as “naturally” as possible, no interventions, etc.).

While every pregnancy and delivery is different, I’ve found that there are some things that seem to remain the same. So, for all you soon-to-be mamas, especially you first-timers, or you hoping-to-be mamas, here are four of the most important things that helped me through my two deliveries.

Disclaimer: I know that as mothers, we have plenty of choices to make when it comes to labor and delivery, and not everyone chooses the same things. This post is not about one delivery method or choice being better than another. It’s just about how I handled my deliveries, and what I’ve learned through the process. However, I think these can apply to any labor and delivery situation.

 

1. Educate & Inform Yourself

When you’re a first-time mom, you have a lot to learn, and that’s fine. You’ve never been here before. Accept that challenge, and do your best to educate and inform yourself about this new chapter in life.

I think one of the most important and empowering things for me as a brand new mom-to-be was going into the delivery room with some knowledge of what was going on, what should happen, what could happen, and what my options would be.

I knew that I was by no means as educated or experienced as my doctor or nurses, so it was important that I trusted them for the big things. I also didn’t go overboard with learning or researching to the point of making myself fearful of every worst case scenario, but neither did I want to be completely clueless.

One of the most helpful resources for me came along before I was even pregnant. Early in our marriage, Brad and I just happened to come across the movie, “The Business of Being Born” on TV one night, and we watched it together. While at first it made me a little nervous about EVER having a baby, it gave me enough information on what God had created my body to do, what my expectations of labor and delivery should be, how medical interventions affected the process, and allowed me to see that I could have a say, to an extent, in how my babies entered the world.

Once I was pregnant with Elijah, I read a couple of pregnancy and baby books, including the cliché “What to Expect” books, usually week by week as my baby developed, and I subscribed to a couple of different websites geared toward mommies-to-be.

Life in Lape Haven: 4 Things that Helped Me Through 2 Unmedicated Natural Deliveries. With my third child due soon, I've gotten lots of questions about my birth plan and my experiences with my previous two unmedicated natural deliveries. Here are the four things that got me through each birth.

Brad and I also attended a one-day birthing class hosted by our hospital, as well as took the hospital tour once I reached my third trimester.

From all I had learned from researching and conversations with other mothers, I decided to, and was prepared to, deliver my baby without pain medications and as naturally as possible. Since Brad had shared in my learning, he knew why I made that choice, and he was 100 percent on board.

Oh, and one thing that I wish I had learned about before Elijah’s birth: perineal massage. That would have been helpful.

Actually, I saw a brief note about it about two weeks before he was due, but didn’t think much about it. However, Elijah’s head is larger than average, and unfortunately for me, that meant he got a little…um…stuck during delivery. It was only at that point that the doctor, who was not my regular OB/GYN, asked me if I’d done any perineal massage. No one had mentioned it to me at any time before, not even my doctor, so – no I hadn’t. And I ended up with a tear and stitches in places a lady should never have stitches, which made my recovery much more difficult.

And I KNOW the difference in recovery because, having learned my lesson with Elijah, I planned ahead, followed the instructions I found online, and was better prepared for Josiah’s arrival. Without the tearing and stitches, I bounced back amazingly easily after he was born.

So, yes, educating yourself and being informed is important. (See end of the post for additional resources)

 

 

2. Your Support Team & Good Nurses are Vital, but God Is Your Biggest Support

Another important detail on your delivery day is who will be surrounding you as you face labor and birth. You want people who will be your advocates, encouragers, and help you stay calm and as stress-free as possible. What you don’t want are people who question you on everything, give you too much sympathy, or make you feel weak or incapable. (You need to be a strong, confident warrior-mommy.)

For me it has always been my husband and my mother, one as my cheerleader and the other as my coach. (I’ve often said that my mom would make an excellent doula.) Both Brad and Mom were supportive of my desire to deliver as naturally as possible, and they did everything they could to help me in that. I know that I could not have made it through either boy’s delivery nearly as well without them both. (You can read a bit more about it in “8 of My Favorite Things about  Being Pregnant“)

Life in Lape Haven: 4 Things that Helped Me Through 2 Unmedicated Natural Deliveries. With my third child due soon, I've gotten lots of questions about my birth plan and my experiences with my previous two unmedicated natural deliveries. Here are the four things that got me through each birth.

In addition, I’ve always been blessed with wonderful nurses at the hospital where I deliver. During Elijah’s delivery, especially, when I had a doctor who was less than confident in my abilities and my determination to deliver without pain meds, it was imperative that I had supportive, helpful, kind nurses who weren’t condescending to me or my wish for a natural birth. One nurse in particular was amazing in how she helped me with my breathing through the worst of the final stages of labor.

However, despite being surrounded by a strong support team, there does come a point in delivery where it truly is just you and God bringing your baby into the world. He is the only One who knows that baby as well as you – better even. From the start of my pregnancies, we’d prayed for His presence and His hand on our babies, so when it came to the actual delivery, where else did I expect Him to be but with me? For me, delivering my children was a chance to trust God and rely on Him in  way I’d never done before.

So many times during contractions, I would pray and just focus on Him or hear a praise song in my head that would encourage me and remind me that I could do all things because God would give me the strength. Since He designed my body to carry and delivery babies, and He gave us this child, I could trust Him, more than anyone else, to help me through it.

 

3. It’s Only Pain

Yes. Labor hurts. It hurts, hurts, HURTS! And it’s work. It’s not fun. There is NO denying that. And making the choice to go without pain medication at all meant that I felt every bit of pain that labor and delivery could bring me from start to finish. It was part of my expectation (and yes, dread) of the day. You have to plan for and expect the pain. It’s going to be there.

However, it is pain with a purpose, a pain that will eventually pass, and a pain that ends with a precious baby. That’s what I reminded myself of as the contractions got intense.

And God has been gracious to us women, even in childbirth, in that as the pain builds, so does your tolerance. You may even doze between contractions at some point. You kind of get used to the pain, and then it increases. Then you get used to coping with that, and so on, until you think you can’t handle anymore. And then it’s time to push (OUCH!), and that pain motivates you to do whatever you need to to help that baby out. (Haha!)

There are so many ways to cope with the pain, but the biggest one is to remain calm, relax, and breathe. My deliveries were not marked by the crazy, overly dramatic moments seen on television shows or in movies – no flailing, screaming, or beating my husband.

In fact, with our first son’s birth, I was so calm when it was time to go to the hospital that my silly hubby didn’t believe I was actually ready to have the baby. In the car, he called his parents to let them know we were headed to the hospital, and he seriously told them, “Well, we’re going in, but I don’t think this is it.” (Okay, I MAY have smacked him THEN! After being up since 2am with contractions that increased throughout the day and were consistent with what the doctor said they should be, I KNEW that baby was coming that night.) Brad has since learned not to doubt me. 🙂

I also often reminded myself that if Abraham’s wife, Sarah, in the Bible, could be in her nineties and deliver a baby in the desert, I could certainly do it in my thirties and in a hospital with modern conveniences.

 

4. Flexibility Is Key

You have to go into your delivery knowing that there is a chance you’ll need to be flexible. Not so much physically flexible (although that might be helpful), but rather being ready to adjust your plans, vision, or expectations of what your birth experience will be.

Even though my births went fairly according to the book, we did have to make some adjustments even to how I coped with the pain (not every method works in every situation) or how we moved the delivery along (I did have to have them break my water with both deliveries, even though I waited as long as possible).

Clearly, I didn’t want stitches with Elijah. That was NOT in my birth plan. But it happened.

With Josiah, I experienced the “labor shakes,” something I’d never heard of until, yep, I was experiencing it. It was not pleasant and not ideal. Not being able to move around more – I like to be walking or up as much as possible – or control my breathing as well because my body was literally shaking from my feet clear up through my chest, made laboring much more difficult, and it was frustrating.

If you want to deliver your child without pain medication, know that it IS possible. It’s totally doable. You CAN do it, even when you have to adjust some things. Of course, if things come up, and everything changes on your plan, that’s okay, too. Do what’s best for you and the baby – always.

We had only minor adjustments, but they didn’t change the fact that my boys arrived safely and healthy, which was the most important part of our plan.

Life in Lape Haven: 4 Things that Helped Me Through 2 Unmedicated Natural Deliveries. With my third child due soon, I've gotten lots of questions about my birth plan and my experiences with my previous two unmedicated natural deliveries. Here are the four things that got me through each birth.

So there you go. That’s how I delivered two beautiful babies as naturally as possible and completely medication-free: being educated, surrounding myself with supportive people, expecting and planning for the pain, and being flexible.

It’s how I plan to bring this third little guy into the world soon. 🙂

 

While I haven’t gone through my third labor yet, here’s what’s been the best thing for helping me through this third pregnancy and all it’s discomforts.

UPDATE: Want to know how my third labor went? Here’s Isaiah’s birth story – It was a birth story that didn’t quite go according to my plan.

Since I recommend being educated as part of your labor and delivery preparation, I asked a community of online moms for the best resources for a mom wanting an unmedicated, natural birth experience. Below are some of their most popular answers.  (Some of the links below may be affiliate links, which mean that at no additional cost to you, I may receive a small commission when you use the links.) 

Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin (Ina May is one of the midwives featured on the above-mentioned documentary, “The Business of Being Born.”)

Husband-Coached Childbirth: The Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth by Robert Bradley, MD.

Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon

BradleyBirth.com (You can find local Bradley method birthing classes)

Redeeming Childbirth: Experiencing His Presence in Pregnancy, Labor, Childbirth, and Beyond by Angie Tolpin, plus RedeemingChildbirth.com (has free resources) and CourageousMom.com

The Birth Book: Everything You Need to Know to Have a Safe and Satisfying Birth by William Sears, MD, and Martha Sears, RN

BirthBootCamp.com

Birth Without Fear Facebook community

 

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE:

Welcoming Isaiah: A Birth Story that Didn’t Quite Follow My Birth Plan

5 Tips & Tricks I’ve Learned with My 3rd Baby That I Wish I’d Known With My First

10 Items That Helped Us Adjust to Life with a New Baby

3 Things I Know About Becoming a Mother

September 21, 2016
5 Comments
Life in Lape Haven: 3 Things I Know about Becoming a Mother. With all the parents-wanting-to-be swooning over my baby belly lately, I find that there are a few things I want them to know about what it means to become a mommy or a daddy.

Counting from when I first became pregnant with Elijah, I’ve been a mother for over seven years. Looking back at the starry-eyed mommy-wanting-to-be that I was when we were first preparing to start our family, I don’t think I realized how much I would change or all that I would learn once I became a mother.

I’ve been reminded of my own eager mommy naiveté lately, as young female friends, family, and even strangers swoon over my baby belly with their own hopes and dreams of becoming mommies someday. I find myself smiling at their innocence with a “you have no idea” knowing that only comes from experience. I remember well that “Oh, babies are so precious,” and “children are so fun” mindset that painted motherhood and parenting as idealistically as a newborn diaper commercial. Not that babies and children aren’t precious and fun, but parenting isn’t all sweet things and blissful days and nights.

So from my seven years of mothering, here are three things I know about what it means to become a mother. (And most of this applies to becoming a daddy, too, but since I’m a mom, that’s where I write from.)

#1. YOU WILL CHANGE FROM HEAD TO TOE, INSIDE AND OUT

From the moment those two little pink lines show up on the pregnancy test (and even before then), you begin changing, and you’ll never be the same again. Everyone realizes that a pregnant woman’s body changes in multiple ways, and despite our current culture’s pressure for moms to just snap right back to their pre-baby selves, it really isn’t realistic (or fair or necessary). Sure you can lose the extra weight, especially when you breastfeed, and you can exercise and tone up, but it will, and should, take some time. Plus there will still be areas of your body that are changed forever, even if others never see the evidence.

And the physical changes are actually the least drastic of them all.

Yes, mommies-wanting-to-be, there are more dramatic adjustments once you have a child than stretchmarks and maybe a belly pooch.

Motherhood changes EVERYTHING – physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, socially, and financially.

Life in Lape Haven: 3 Things I Know about Becoming a Mother. With all the parents-wanting-to-be swooning over my baby belly lately, I find that there are a few things I want them to know about what it means to become a mommy or a daddy.

Think you’ve loved someone before? It won’t compare to when you hold that baby for the first time (or even feel his first kicks in your belly). Ever been frustrated? Try going up against a strong-willed toddler in the epic parenting face-offs known at “potty training” or “naptime.” Been proud of someone? Just wait until your mini-me digs deep and determinedly learns to tie her shoes or ride a bike or starts to read or shows compassion and generosity toward others.

And before you have children, let’s face it – You pretty much think about yourself and what you need. Yes, marriage is good at teaching you to put someone else first, and hopefully you consider your spouse’s needs and sacrifice for them. However, from your first seconds of parenthood (and on for basically the rest of your life), so many decisions and choices will be run through the filter of “how will this affect my child?” Don’t believe me? Everything you do when you’re pregnant will prove it – what you eat, how you care for yourself, and what you do. Once that little bundle of joy arrives, you’ll plan your days around their naps or feedings or both (maybe not precisely, but at least roughly), you’ll make grocery lists based on what your preschooler will actually eat this week, and you’ll pick where you live with consideration of the schools in the area.

Every major decision you make will also be even more a matter of prayer. Seriously, I don’t know that any area of your life will be as affected by parenting as your spiritual walk. You’ve only THOUGHT you needed wisdom before. Raising children will take you to your knees like nothing else. Patience, discernment, direction, peace – yep, you’ll need everything God can give. And trusting God hits a whole new level when you place your child in His hands.

While most people know that having children will affect you financially – they do have to eat and be clothed, after all – I’m not sure how many nonparents realize how different your social life will become once Junior is in the picture. Even beyond going out often and easily (either you are taking your children – that’s a whole new ballgame – or you’re arranging for a babysitter), unless all your friends have children or really love kids, there are going to be some that just don’t get your new situation in life. You most likely won’t have as much time or even interest in things you used to do often, and they probably won’t have the same excitement you have over your child’s latest milestones or in seeing all 557 pictures you took of your little one that morning at the park. You will be at different places in your life, and that’s okay. God has His own unique plan for each of us and our families. So be prepared to give them some grace, and do your best to keep in touch, even if you don’t spend as much time together as you used to.

 

#2. YOU WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH

I know. I KNOW. This isn’t what any of us want to hear. We want to think that we can rock this parenting thing if we just try hard enough, get super organized, stop comparing ourselves to other moms, embrace our own strengths, and so on. In fact, it’s kind of a thing among the mother and women’s community at large right now to loudly and repeatedly tell you that “You are enough!” There are blogs, t-shirts, memes, coffee mugs, and who knows what all else to remind you of your wonderful capabilities and awesome mom potential.

However, all of those well-meaning cheerleaders are setting you up for frustration, disappointment, and no end of discouragement because it’s simply not true.

You, in and of yourself, are not, and will never be, enough for your children. No amount of effort on your part is going to change that.

I’m not sure why we would want to fight so hard to prove we can do it by ourselves. Parenting is HARD, like, REALLY HARD.

I know I’m not the only mother who has those days when I can’t wait for my husband to get home- not because I’ve missed him or have something important to tell him, but simply because I NEED HIS HELP. I need a break from our boys, from their demands for my attention, from their fighting, from the constant giving and caring I’ve been doing since I woke up that morning. Tagging out when Brad is ready to take over can be such a relief.

In those moments, if I believed I was supposed to be enough for them, I would feel like such a complete failure.

Thankfully, I KNOW that I’m not. And I know that Brad’s not enough as their dad. Even together, amazing parents that we are :), we aren’t enough for our precious boys.

And we’re glad about that.

Why?

Because we know that God did not design parenting (or much else in life) to be something you could do independent of Him. It’s something you can only do well WHEN you rely on Him.

Life in Lape Haven: 3 Things I Know about Becoming a Mother. With all the parents-wanting-to-be swooning over my baby belly lately, I find that there are a few things I want them to know about what it means to become a mommy or a daddy.

We are never enough, but He is ALWAYS MORE THAN ENOUGH. We will make mistakes and fail, but He is perfect and always faithful.

2 Corinthians 3:9 reminds us that His “’grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

Yes, I “can do all things,” but it’s only “through Christ who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)

Being able to seek God’s guidance, strength, PATIENCE, wisdom, and power instead of relying on my own (very weak) human strength, allows me to be the mom that God called me to be to my children.

God planned for me to be their mother, and God has gifted me with talents and abilities that I can use in that calling, but I can’t do it without Him.

And my kids need to know that, too. I’m not my children’s source. It’s not my job to be their source of joy or of peace, of safety or of health, of goodness or of salvation. They need to rely on God as much as I do. But if I’m trying to be “enough” for them on my own, how will they realize their need for Him?

 

#3. YOU WILL NEVER WANT TO GO BACK

Parenting is hard, and it changes everything for you, but I can promise you that even despite that, you will NEVER want to go back to life before your children.

Not seriously, anyway.

There may be days that you reminisce about how easy and carefree life was when two or three kids weren’t fighting in the background, or how awesome it was to get a full, uninterrupted night’s sleep once upon a time. But honestly, in your heart of hearts, you will never, ever want to go back to not being a parent.

And perhaps this is the part that longing-to-be-mommies and – daddies see in us that makes them swoon and sigh over our sweet new little ones, our precocious preschoolers, or our growing grade-schoolers. They see that overwhelming, straight-from-heaven love that softens the difficult days and cements the really great ones into our memories forever. They hear the pride and joy in our voices (or read it in our social media posts) when our kids do something adorable or impressive. They may not have faced the struggles of parenting yet, but they see the rewards in our relationship with our children, these amazing, inspiring, precious gifts from God.

When those young, naïve parents-wanting-to-be start talking about how awesome it will be to a mom or dad someday, I find myself smiling at their innocence with a “you have no idea” knowing that only comes from very cherished experience. 🙂


YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE:

5 Everyday Moments that Make Being a Mom Totally Worth It

How I Sabotaged Myself & Made a Bad Evening Worse

Welcoming Isaiah: A Birth Story that Didn’t Quite Follow to My Birth Plan

Going “Naked” at the Water Park

5 Tips & Tricks I Learned with My 3rd Baby that I Wish I’d Known with My 1st

 

The Laundry Sorting “Game”

August 20, 2016
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The Laundry Sorting Game

Now that Elijah is back in school, I am Josiah’s primary playmate, which means I’m back to doing housework with my little tag-along. While he does play well by himself when I need him to, I like involving my children in various household chores and letting them learn how to help around the home.

The other day Josiah wanted to play a game with me while I was trying to get the laundry gathered and ready to wash. Glancing down at his Candy Land game spread out on the floor, I got an idea.

Life in Lape Haven: The Laundry Sorting Game. When my preschooler wanted to play a game, but I needed to get laundry done, I came up with a new game that helps my son learn his color, matching, and an important life skill - all in one.

“How would you like to play a game to help me sort the laundry,” I asked him.

“A game? Yeah!” was his reply.

I told him that I’d need to borrow some of the color cards from his game, and he eagerly handed me the ones I wanted. Then we headed off to the laundry room for our exciting new “game.”

With all the clothes piled to one side or still in the hamper, I set three empty laundry baskets on the floor, then proceeded to set different color cards in front of them.

Life in Lape Haven: The Laundry Sorting Game. When my preschooler wanted to play a game, but I needed to get laundry done, I came up with a new game that helps my son learn his color, matching, and an important life skill - all in one.

I explained to Josiah that his job was to match the clothes with the right baskets, sorting them by the color cards in front of each one. (Since Candy Land doesn’t have a white or black card, I grabbed an index card from the kitchen, cut it in half, and drew a white square and black square. I also doodled out a towel, washcloth, pair of socks, and a pair of underwear to place with the “White” basket, too. Josiah especially liked the underwear picture. Boys.)

Life in Lape Haven: The Laundry Sorting Game. When my preschooler wanted to play a game, but I needed to get laundry done, I came up with a new game that helps my son learn his color, matching, and an important life skill - all in one.

Our three baskets were: Darks (blacks, blues, & greens), Reds (reds, oranges, and yellows), and Whites & Linens (light colors, towels, washcloths, most socks, and underwear).

(I know that some people sort their laundry differently or not at all, but this was a simple system that he could follow, and I could easily adjust if needed.)

Once everything was set up and understood, he stood in the middle of baskets, near the pile of clothes, and with a “1-2-3-Go!” he started sorting things in to the corresponding basket. He had so much fun matching the colors and showing me where each item went that he was done in no time with little help from me. (I did some sorting, too, rather than just be a slacker and leave it all to my 3-year-old. Haha.)

Life in Lape Haven: The Laundry Sorting Game. When my preschooler wanted to play a game, but I needed to get laundry done, I came up with a new game that helps my son learn his color, matching, and an important life skill - all in one.

When he was all done, I gave him a high five and let him help me load the washer with the first basket of clothes. Then he went back to happily playing Candy Land (not sure how he plays it by himself, but he was content so I left it alone.)

Since the “game” worked so well, and since I know that in the coming months of my pregnancy, leaning over and bending will be a little more difficult, I decided to work up a better sorting guide for my little helper to use next time.  It is a great way to reinforce his basic skills of color recognition and matching, plus he’s learning an important life skill and helping Mommy out at the same time. Win-win-win!

Life in Lape Haven: The Laundry Sorting Game. When my preschooler wanted to play a game, but I needed to get laundry done, I came up with a new game that helps my son learn his color, matching, and an important life skill - all in one.

I’m also sharing this guide with you. You can download a free printable of the “Laundry Sorting ‘Game’” to play with your little ones. Just cut out the sections to label your sorting baskets. (Or use the basic idea and tweak it to fit your laundry sorting routine.) The socks and underwear icons on the printable are courtesy of MediaLoot.

And just in your case your kids are a little older, don’t worry. When Elijah saw me working on the guide, he just read “The Laundry Sorting ‘Game’” and asked if we could play it! Hahaha. Sadly, I didn’t have any laundry that needed sorted at the time, but I’ll be sure to include him the next time we…um… “play.”

(While we’re talking laundry, you might want to check out my other laundry-themed posts:

How to Get Grease Stains (Even Set-In Ones) Out,

How to Get Grass Stains Out of Clothes,

How to Get Dry Erase Marker Out of Jeans, and

A Ridiculously Simple Way to Get Silly Putty Out of Fabric .)


Get more ideas & encouragement from this real-life mom as I experience God’s faithfulness through the joy and chaos of motherhood.

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8 of My Favorite Things About Being Pregnant

August 13, 2016
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Life in Lape Haven: 8 of My Favorite Things About Being Pregnant. Pregnancy can bring all sorts of discomforts and inconveniences, but there are so many wonderful parts to being pregnant. Here are 8 of my favorite!

For the last few months, this third pregnancy has had me slightly off my game more so than my other two pregnancies did. The tiredness, nausea, yucky taste, and more have been a bit of a struggle, especially with having my two boys to keep up with. Now that I’m a little more than halfway through, I’m feeling a bit better, for now (I know that the end-of-pregnancy uncomfortableness is still ahead of me).

With all the not-so-fun things that come with pregnancy, there are still so many wonderful parts of pregnancy than make up for the inconveniences and discomforts.

Here are 8 of My Favorite Things About Being Pregnant
#1. Expectant Mother Parking

Okay, this might sound silly, but I was so excited the first time I was able to pull into one of those special parking spaces. I had seen them popping up at various stores not long before I became pregnant with Elijah, and I thought that it was such a nice consideration for expectant and new mothers.  I waited until I was rather obviously pregnant before taking advantage of them, so you know I was happy to have a shorter walk into the grocery store at that point.

#2. Special Consideration from Others

Similar to the expectant mother parking, it’s always nice when people are extra kind to you, and when you’re pregnant, most people are especially kind and helpful. Sure, some people might be a bit too free with their advice or invading your personal belly space, but for the most part, you are treated with a courtesy and friendliness that is often only experienced during the holiday season.

#3. Ultrasounds & the Heart Doppler

Few sounds are as beautiful as hearing your baby’s heartbeat, especially for the first time. It’s the highlight of every doctor’s appointment. That deep little “swish, swish, swish” sound is reassurance that your little one is doing well.

And while I’m not a fan of having a ton of ultrasounds while I’m pregnant, it is pretty exciting to have that visual confirmation of your baby’s growth. Seeing the profile, and yes, finding out whether you are carrying a boy or a girl, is a milestone that every mother waits for (even if you don’t want to know your baby’s sex before he/she is born).

Life in Lape Haven: 8 of My Favorite Things About Being Pregnant. Pregnancy can bring all sorts of discomforts and inconveniences, but there are so many wonderful parts to being pregnant. Here are 8 of my favorite!

This is how Josiah looked in utero.

#4. Feeling the Baby Kick

Even beyond the ultrasound, this is the milestone I look forward to and cherish:  feeling the baby move. Trying to explain the sensation to someone who’s never been pregnant is pretty much impossible, but once you’ve experienced it, it’s something you’ll never forget. (I’ve had dreams that I was pregnant and in those dreams, I felt that baby moving…crazy.)

And, yes, as the baby gets bigger, those flutters and shoves become jabs and hard kicks and “please quit pushing on my ribs.” But even with those more powerful movements, you are bonding with your baby, learning their personality before you officially meet them.

For me, Elijah was my little ninja. He liked to kick, and kick, and kick. He also showed his stubbornness early by kicking me every time I moved to my left side, and he would continue kicking until I rolled to my right.  Yep. I even warned Brad about this one.

Josiah’s style was more parkour. He flipped, kicked, and shoved constantly, and that has carried over since birth. He is our little daredevil who never walks when he can run, who climbs EVERYTHING just so he can jump off it. We’d kind of hoped he would be a bit more laid-back than Elijah, but…nope.

We’ve already been praying about this third boy. 🙂

#5. Comradery with Every Other Mother in the World

Just like you bond with your baby while you’re pregnant, being pregnant also gives you an instant bond with every other woman who has ever been pregnant or become a mother in some way. You’ll exchange stories about your experiences during the months you carried your babies and share your birth stories and the first-six-weeks-with-a-newborn stories.

Despite what we hear about “mommy wars,” I’ve found that most moms are super supportive and encouraging, and that kind of community is a wonderful thing.

#6. Deeper Appreciation for My Mother

Nothing makes you appreciate your own mom like becoming one yourself.  Experiencing pregnancy, labor & delivery, and life with a little one, you can’t help but think about your mother, now that you know what she went through for you.

Thankfully, my mom and I have always had a very close relationship, and my pregnancies have only brought us closer. Not only has she been the one I go to for advice, encouragement, questions, and prayer, but my mom has been there with me through each labor and delivery. She has coached me through two un-medicated natural deliveries, knowing the pain I was feeling but helping me stay focused and determined through it all. (She’s not a professional doula, but she totally could be!) And of course, she has always been ready to help during those early weeks (and anytime, no matter our kids’ ages, actually), even if she just does dishes for us or sits with the baby while I get a nap.

Life in Lape Haven: 8 of My Favorite Things About Being Pregnant. Pregnancy can bring all sorts of discomforts and inconveniences, but there are so many wonderful parts to being pregnant. Here are 8 of my favorite!

#7.  Deeper Appreciation for My Husband

Pregnancy and parenting aren’t easy, but it is easier when you have a supportive, on-board partner to share it with.

Most any given day, I know that I have a rather fabulous husband. He has been fabulous from day one. But I am reminded even more so of his fabulousness when I’m pregnant and once we’re in the midst of caring for a newborn.

Not only does he help with our boys even more and take care of additional household chores when I don’t feel well or just physically can’t, but he does it with joy. He insists that I rest when I need to because he knows I have a tendency to push myself maybe more than I should.  He does whatever he can to help me through the unpleasant parts of pregnancy, whether it’s stopping on his way home to pick up more salt & vinegar chips to help me with the nasty taste in my mouth or massaging my achy legs at night even when he’s really tired himself.

In the delivery room, if my mom is the coach, he’s my cheerleader. I know it’s tough for him to see me go through it, but he’s never left my side. And once our babies arrive, he is the sweetest of daddies, changing their first diapers and waking in the night along with me to bring the baby to me for feedings (in the weeks that Brad is off from work) or doing his best to soothe a cranky little one, sometimes falling asleep in the rocking chair himself.

Life in Lape Haven: 8 of My Favorite Things About Being Pregnant. Pregnancy can bring all sorts of discomforts and inconveniences, but there are so many wonderful parts to being pregnant. Here are 8 of my favorite!

#8. A Baby

This sounds kind of obvious, but the best part of being pregnant, the one thing that makes all the difficult, painful moments worthwhile is that moment when the doctor hands you your squirmy, wrinkly little one and you really meet your baby for the first time. That moment, and about a million others over the next year (and years). Loving and caring for this child, watching them grow and learn, knowing that God has a unique and divine purpose and plan for him, and seeing that plan slowly unfold through his personality and talents, his likes and passions, and God’s leading – there really is nothing better.

It doesn’t change, either, from your first baby to your second or third or so on. Each one brings a new, unique joy and love to your life.

It is absolutely the best part of being pregnant.

Life in Lape Haven: 8 of My Favorite Things About Being Pregnant. Pregnancy can bring all sorts of discomforts and inconveniences, but there are so many wonderful parts to being pregnant. Here are 8 of my favorite!

 

So, moms, what would you add to the list? What is something you love or loved about being pregnant?