Life in Lape Haven

Tag - Family

Elijah and the Snorkel Mask

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Out of the Mouth of Babes - Elijah and the Snorkel Mask. A reminder to be prepared in your armor before the battle strikes.

Our oldest son, Elijah, is 5 years old, and like most young children, he enjoys pretend play and dressing up as super heroes, robots, pirates, ninjas, and any other silly characters he comes up with. He has a pretty great imagination, and one item can spark a huge story in his world.

I would venture to guess that rarely a day goes by when he isn’t wearing something goofy or quirky, even if it’s just a pair of sunglasses or a bracelet he’s made out of pipe cleaners (he’s also very crafty). This includes Sundays and, often, Sunday mornings. He knows he can’t wear his really crazy stuff in to church, but there have been several Sundays when I’ll glance back at him while we’re riding, only to find he’s added something to his ensemble, if only for the car ride.

One Sunday this spring when I looked back at him, I saw this:

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Out of the Mouth of Babes - Elijah and the Snorkel Mask, Elijah wearing a scuba mask, being prepared

I have no idea where he found the snorkel mask. I think it was in a stash of summer water toys in our laundry room, but he had to have brought it out to the car with him and then put it on later as we were driving along (Kids can be so quick and sneaky!). He wasn’t really doing much, except for watching the countryside scenery pass by. He smiled at me as though it were the most normal thing in the world for him to be wearing a snorkel mask…in the car… on the way to church. I guess for him, it is. Haha.

I love my big boy, and I love that he is still so happy just being a child. So, I grinned at him and snapped a picture of this latest silliness.

Our route to church is mainly back roads in central Ohio, so we’re generally surrounded by farmland with fields of corn, soybeans, wheat, or cattle, and a few minutes down the road, we came alongside a field that had been freshly fertilized. Oh, the smell! There isn’t much you can do in those moments except keep driving through, so that’s what we did, with a little “Peee-ewwwing!”

From the backseat, we heard Elijah say, “It’s a good a thing I have on a mask.”

Even though he was being silly (I think), he did have a good point.

God has given us armor, according to Ephesians 6: 10-18, and most of us know that. We like to talk about all the pieces and what they represent. But that armor is only useful to us when we have it on, and have it on BEFORE a battle begins.

Trying to put on the snorkel mask after we’d enter the stinky section of the trip would not have helped Elijah at all (not sure that it truly helped him having it on beforehand, really, but we’ll assume it did to help me make my point). And yet, so many of us seek God only when we’re in the midst of trouble and try to build our spiritual strength suddenly with some extra Bible cramming and prayer time, throwing in some fasting when we’re really in earnest.

That’s not the time to do it. The Bible tells us to “take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.” (Eph. 6:13 NKJV) In the Good News Translation, it reads like this: “So put on God’s armor now! Then when the evil day comes, you will be able to resist the enemy’s attacks; and after fighting to the end, you will still hold your ground.”

We have God’s Word and God’s Spirit to help PREPARE us to fight, to stand. We are to be seeking God always, daily putting on the armor He’s given to us, even when our life seems to be peaceful and happy.

You never know when you’ll have to face a battle or when the enemy will attack. Trouble doesn’t wait for you to get your armor on.

Just ask Elijah – you want to have your snorkel mask on BEFORE you come alongside that fertilized field.

Great-Grandma’s Rainbow: A Lesson in the Little Things

Life in Lape Haven: Great-Grandma's Rainbow - A Lesson in the Little Things

When I was a little girl, my family lived about an hour or so from both sets of my grandparents and my two great-grandmothers. This meant that any time we got to visit them, it was exciting and special.

My Great-Grandma Leora lived down the road from my maternal grandparents, in the old farmhouse that my grandpa had grown up in. The farm was across the road from an old schoolhouse and a little white country church (which happens to be the church my great-grandpa & she attended, where my grandparents attend, where my mom grew up & was married, and where Brad & I got married).

Being that I was a little girl, I don’t remember much about my great-grandma. She was always kind to me and always had some kind of treat, but beyond that and what she looked like, I didn’t know her well. I imagine I was too busy at 5- and 6-years old investigating the old toys in her closet to really have an in-depth conversation with her.

Life in Lape Haven: Great-Grandma's Rainbow - A Lesson in the Little Things

My great-grandparents, my grandpa, & his sister in 1935. (I wasn’t around quite yet.)

I do remember, though, that her house fascinated me. It always felt as though you were stepping back into time, with old-fashioned doorknobs, a claw-foot tub, a door that led up steep steps to the attic, that closet full of toys my mother had played with when she was little, and an old-home smell that was part mothballs, part ancient wood, and part good home cooking. (In case you think I’m crazy, that nearly exact same smell can be found inside of the built-in-1856 home at the historical farm near where we live. Every time we visit there, I think of my Great-grandma’s home.)

Her kitchen was especially memorable, not only because of the yummy cookies that came from there, but also because of the rainbow of light that came from her kitchen window. Above my great-grandma’s kitchen sink was a window looking out to the yard, and in the window sill were 4 brightly-colored plastic coasters (I didn’t know they were coasters at the time). When the sun shone in just right, the coasters cast a rainbow of red, yellow, green, and purple onto the floor or wall of the room. I’m not sure if that’s why she had them there or not, but to little-girl-me, it was magical.

Life in Lape Haven: Great-Grandma's Rainbow - A Lesson in the Little Things

This little girl (little Kishona) clearly loved colorful things.

I remember visiting her with my mother when Great-grandma was sick, and I wasn’t much older than 7 or 8 when she passed away. When my grandpa and his sister were sorting through Great-grandma’s estate, they allowed each of their children and grandchildren to walk through the house and pick out things that they would like to have to remember her. When it was my turn, the very first things I chose were the coasters from her kitchen window. They were probably worth very little in monetary terms (looking at them now, they weren’t even as old I was, and they were just a promotional item for an event at Lazarus, so they were likely free). Even my mother seemed amused when I asked for them.

To me, though, they were special.

Now that I’m a mom, remembering the wonder I found in something so simple makes me pause, ponder, and consider the world through my children’s eyes.

It’s amazing what children notice, remember, and prize. Something that we grown-ups might see as insignificant or worthless can be a fabulous treasure in a child’s eyes. My boys get excited over lots of things, such as rocks in the driveway, random feathers on the ground, lightning bugs in the yard, and getting stickers from the cashier at the grocery store. Aside from the lightning bugs (I love to watch lightning bugs!), those are things I can quite easily overlook in my busy “mom” world. But they spark joy, curiosity, and delight in my boys.

God created a beautiful world for us to enjoy, and I think there are plenty of times that we get so busy and distracted that we fail to appreciate it. We dismiss this or take them for granted because it seems common or ordinary or invaluable.

Life in Lape Haven: Great-Grandma's Rainbow - A Lesson in the Little Things - colorful Lazarus coasters in the window

But children, with their innocence and inquisitiveness, never fail to take it all. Even though there may be times that I’d rather they didn’t notice every leaf, spider web, and bird in their path, (especially when we’re in a hurry, and I’m trying to get them into the car), I don’t want to do anything to discourage or dampen that fascination for them. I want them to hold on to that for as long as they can. It’s part of the sweetness of childhood – seeing the beauty and wonder in the common or simple things.

It also reminds me of the verse in Romans, “For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse,” (Roman 1:20). My boys are noticing God’s “invisible attributes” in the world around them.

I want to encourage my boys to always appreciate the little things in the world, and I don’t want to be too busy myself to notice the tiny miracles around us.

Life in Lape Haven: Great-Grandma's Rainbow - A Lesson in the Little Things - Lazarus coasters

My great-grandma’s coasters are a great reminder for me. Those little plastic discs now rest in the window sill above my kitchen sink, throwing glowing reds, purples, yellows, and greens across the floor and onto the wall to enchant and delight my children as well as myself. (Typing this I can see the colors shining through onto my living room wall, and they still make me smile). They are a little more worn than when I first got them, but they are still beautiful when the light hits them.

Once upon a time, I was the one easily seeing the value in the ordinary, and now every time I see a rainbow in my kitchen window, I get to remember how important that is.

Tried It Tuesday: My Social Book

Life in Lape Haven: Tried It Tuesday - My Social Book. My experience with the online printing company that makes your Facebook posts into a keepsake book.

When Elijah was first born, I wanted to document everything: the first visitors at the hospital, his first night at home, his first smile, his baby quirks (he laughed in his sleep all the time as a newborn) – everything about him. (I’m a documenter: If I can’t photograph it, I video, journal, or post it.)

I filled in all those cute little blanks in his cute little baby book about all the cute little things he did while he was cute and little, at least whenever I had the energy or time to do it. As he became more mobile and slept less, my time to find the right blanks to fill out in his baby book and the energy to do it were being spent keeping up with his cute, little self, and his baby book fell by the wayside. To make up for that, I started jotting down notes occasionally in a notebook about what he was doing, accomplishing, and learning, but even that was hard to maintain, especially when I became pregnant with his little brother.

And poor Josiah! His baby book is sadly lacking a lot of information. In my defense, I have a lot of the usual baby details scribbled out in a notebook about him, by month, but I’ve never transferred it to the organized pages of his baby book. Of course, as he got mobile and napped less during the day, we had two active boys to corral during the day and two restless boys who could wake us throughout the night. I found myself praying that my memory would just be excellent when my boys later asked me about their toddler and preschool years because the only documenting I’d been doing was posting their funny comments or silly pictures to Facebook.

I remember telling my husband that I wished I could just print off my Facebook wall because everything was there.

Then one day I saw that a company had decided to do just that. According to the ad along my Facebook newsfeed, My Social Book could capture all my postings and turn them into a book. What a brilliant idea!

Life in Lape Haven: Tried It Tuesday - My Social Book. My experience with the online printing company that makes your Facebook posts into a keepsake book.

I looked into it and was disappointed to see that, in order to get everything I’d shared since Elijah was born in 2010, it was going to make a paperback book 500 pages long, cost me almost that many dollars (Okay, not quite that much, but it was about $150 before shipping), and not cover more than four years. If I wanted more of Josiah’s life, I’d have to get a second book. There was no way I could afford that anytime soon.

Then back in June, I saw another ad for them, only this time it was a deal for 60% off their regular price and free shipping. So I talked to Brad, and we decided it would be worth a try for $40.

I clicked over to their site, added my information, linked to my Facebook, selected the date range for the book, decided what type of posts to include or exclude, and picked a color and picture for the paperback cover (they offer hardback & matte cover books, but they are more expensive). Before too long, I was looking at a sample proof of my book (It doesn’t show the whole book since they are big – mine is 494 pages). I decided to go from January 2008 through February 2012 (as far as I could) because that included my pregnancy with Elijah, his birth, and those first 18 months with him.

Life in Lape Haven: Tried It Tuesday - My Social Book. My experience with the online printing company that makes your Facebook posts into a keepsake book.

 

It took a good two weeks from the time I ordered it to the time I received it in the mail, but I knew it would take a while as it was coming from overseas (I’m not sure where they print, but the company website says that their offices are in Belgium, Israel, and Hong Kong).

However, once I opened it up, I was very glad that we decided to take a chance and order the book. Everything is presented chronologically, with not only status posts, but pictures, comments, likes, and even links for the videos you’ve shared, separated by month. For the videos, you scan the QR code (that square bar code thing) with your smart phone, and it will pull up the YouTube or Facebook link for you to enjoy all over again. (Of course, should those videos ever get deleted from online, you’d be out of luck.)

The print quality is pretty good, with bright colors and legible fonts. (For pictures, the quality does depend on what you uploaded originally.) When I was first looking into getting a book, I read another purchaser’s comment on the layouts that pointed out the numerous blank spaces and pages throughout the book. While my book does have those same spaces and blank pages, it doesn’t seem to detract from it. I think that just comes from having an automated layout program pulling whatever you’ve shared and making it fit.

Life in Lape Haven: Tried It Tuesday - My Social Book. My experience with the online printing company that makes your Facebook posts into a keepsake book.

My favorite thing about having the book is getting to go back, easily, through all the Facebook posts and pictures, and read about how we announced our first baby, see what we shared as he was growing in those first few months, and remember all the funny things he did when he was just a little guy.

Our boys absolutely love going through the book. Since I’ve posted a LOT of pictures, they have plenty to look at and ask questions about. Elijah even asks us to read it to them at bedtime sometimes.

Now all I have to do it wait for another discount or coupon code to order the following years with my second pregnancy, Josiah’s birth, and everything they’ve gotten into since then.

That is the big down side to the books. They are pricey. However, if you share a lot on Facebook (or Instagram) and want to keep a physical copy of it all, and if you can catch a sale like we did (and are planning to in the future), they are definitely worth it.

*Not an affiliate story. Just wanted to share our experience.*

Life in Lape Haven: Tried It Tuesday - My Social Book. My experience with the online printing company that makes your Facebook posts into a keepsake book.

 

 

 

Better than a Fairy Tale

Life in Lape Haven: Better than a Fairy Tale - Mom on the rock

Once upon a time, a 13-year-old girl walked into the high school band room after a football game, searching for her older brother. Little did she know that that night would change her life, for that night she would meet a friend of her brother’s, a guy who was immediately taken with her and would one day be her husband.

At first meeting, however, he did not appear to her to be Prince Charming. She actually considered him more of a frog than a prince, and over the next year or so, that’s how it remained. However, at some point, she softened toward the skinny, shy guy, and they began dating.

By the time she was 16, they both knew that God had brought them together. In fact, at a revival meeting, the pastor called them forward and joined their hands, confirming what they had both already felt. Their lives had intersected, and now their paths would merge into one.

Life in Lape Haven: Better than a Fairy Tale - Cindy and Jerry on his graduation day

However, all was not well in their kingdom. While this girl loved her prince, she loved her God more and served Him wholeheartedly as she had done since childhood. She began to sense that her prince, while truly loving God, was placing her in the position that could only be filled by the Most High.

With an aching heart, she let him go and broke up with him, so that he might solidify his relationship with God. She knew that she could not trust him with her heart until his was completely God’s.

After a few months of separation, the Holy Spirit brought them back together, stronger and more founded in Him. And yet, their troubles were not over.

Being young as they were, not all were supportive of their plans to marry once the girl graduated high school. Her father was among them. This was probably due in part to the fact that her prince had proclaimed arrogantly that once they married, he intended to be a missionary in Africa and take his bride with him. Thankfully, that was NOT God’s plan for them.

Despite hardships and heartache, the girl planned her wedding, made her dress and veil, and decorated the church, and God guided them to their wedding day, where the two became one.

Now while most fairy tales would end here, quite prettily tied up with a sparkly bow and declare, “And they all lived happily ever after,” this was not the end of the story for the girl and her prince, but rather the barely-beginning.

The beginning was important, though, because the next few years, and the years after that, and the years following those, would all require the same confidence and trust in God’s plan, the same determination to keep Him as the center of their relationship, the same willingness to be honest with and accountable to each other.

Life In Lape Haven: Better than a Fairy Tale - A love story in reality that has brought my parents to their 40th anniversary. Wedding picture

That barely-beginning belonged to my parents, Jerry and Cindy, who are now celebrating 43 years of marriage. Forty-three years that have included better and worse, richer and poorer, and sickness and health, but also always included having, holding, loving, and cherishing. During those forty years, they have lived in five different states (and various cities within those states); worked many jobs; served in ministry in some way pretty much constantly, often ministering together (My father has been in music ministry, a youth minister, a home group leader, an elder, and a pastor, with my mother right there beside him all the way); and raised four children, adored 12 grandchildren (9 grandsons, 1 granddaughter, and 2 granddaughters by marriage), and welcomed one great-granddaughter.

Some might look at their lives and say it has been nowhere near a fairy tale, and they would be right.

Fairy tales aren’t reality. What fairy tale do you know that actually goes beyond the wild, exciting, romantic first year of meeting (and that’s being generous…most fairy tale princesses are married within a few months or even days of meeting their prince) and the big, beautiful, perfect wedding? Do any ever show the actual marriage??? No. Because while married life is wonderful, lovely, and blissful, it is also about self-sacrifice, commitment, hard work, giving, and forgiving. (My mother says, “Without forgiveness, we would not have made it 43 years.”)


And yet, what is truly more beautiful? A story that ends with the couple riding off in a grand carriage, accompanied by rice-throwing mice and ribbon-draping songbirds, but never shows them triumphing through struggle, growing together, or giving more of him/herself daily for their spouse?

Or one that tells it all? Where the couple honeymoons in a fishing cabin with no running water (true story – my mom is a saint!), where they share years of laughter and tears, arguing and making-up, where they experience the joy and frustration of raising a family, and where every day, they rely on God through it all and He comes through every time.

I’ll take the “tell it all” version any day because it’s real. It’s life. And it’s the story I’ve read in my parents throughout all of their “happily ever after.”

Life in Lape Haven: Better than a Fairy Tale - Jerry and Cindy in 2014.

 

Happy anniversary, Mom & Dad! Thank you for living a beautiful example of all God created marriage to be. I love you both!

(Updated August 2018.)

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Making Grandma’s Lime Pickles

Making Grandma's Lime Pickles: Life in Lape Haven. While it might seem light just a recipe for making and canning lime pickles from cucumbers, learning my great-grandma's recipe for sweet and tangy lime pickles from my grandmother is a special inheritance that connects generations.

Growing up, family gatherings at my maternal grandparents’ farm were always packed-house events with plenty of love, laughter, food, and volleyball (it’s kind of our family sport).

Grandpa and Grandma raised five children in their three-bedroom, one-bath home, and with addition of spouses and grandchildren (which numbered 14 when I was a young teen), dinner time meant a main table in the kitchen and a kids’ table in the utility room (when there were just 6 to 8 of us grandkids) and/or in the living room. It also meant that you wanted to get in line for food before the older grandsons.

Thankfully Grandma made sure she always had plenty of her most coveted homemade offerings: mashed potatoes, green beans, yeast rolls, and a type of sweet and tangy pickle that my Great-Grandma Leora (Grandpa’s mother) used to make, called “lime pickles.”

Making Grandma's Lime Pickles: Life in Lape Haven. While it might seem light just a recipe for making and canning lime pickles from cucumbers, learning my great-grandma's recipe for sweet and tangy lime pickles from my grandmother is a special inheritance that connects generations.

I cannot remember a single “everybody’s here” family dinner where we didn’t have all four of those items on the menu. After church on Sunday, they were there. Every Christmastime, they were there. Easter, there. Birthdays, there. Always, there.

As I got older, I helped out in the kitchen prep for some of those meals, so I learned how to make mashed potatoes, green beans, and yeast rolls just like my grandma. I was only missing one part of that nostalgic culinary quartet. Even though I’ve opened countless jars of her pickles over the years, filling bowls and setting them on the table, it wasn’t until a few years ago that I finally had the chance to learn how to make my grandma’s (and great-grandma’s) lime pickles.

Having never canned anything ever, I admit that I was a little intimidated by the idea. But Grandma was, as she always is, remarkably encouraging and patient, “Honey, if I can do it, you can it.”

Since making lime pickles requires a 24-hour soaking of the sliced cucumbers in the lime solution, Grandma had done all the prep work the day before, bless her heart. She sliced the cucumbers from her garden and ones I’d sent down to her from ours, and she mixed up the lime solution and put the slices in the mix to soak.

As we started the process of transferring the soaked cucumbers slices to the sink for a good rinsing off, Grandma gave me a little history on this recipe. She learned how to make lime pickles from her mother-in-law, my Great-Grandma Leora. (I’d always figured it was something passed down to her from her own mother).

The first time she went to help Great-Grandma make the pickles, Grandma realized that Leora was using lime, as in calcium hydroxide. She asked her mother-in-law, “Are you sure?” All Grandma knew about lime was that it was something that they dumped a cup of down their “backhouse” (outhouse) every so often, to keep the outhouse from smelling. Great-Grandma assured her that lime was what they needed to use.

Leora got her lime at the feed supply store back in the day, but we used a package of “pickling lime” from the grocery store. The pickling lime helps to maintain the “crunchiness” of the cucumber, but since it is alkaline, it can neutralize the acidity in your pickles, leading to sickness, if you don’t rinse them thoroughly enough. We rinsed ours in four changes of water in the sink, until the water was clear.

Life in Lape Haven: Making Grandma's Lime Pickles

Once the cucumber slices were rinsed well, they got to sit in a clean bath of rinse water for a few hours, during which time Josiah (who was with me) and I got to share lunch with my grandparents and just visit.

Any meal at my grandparents includes “visiting,” that time after everyone’s finished eating, but no one gets up from the table because you’re sharing and talking and laughing together. It’s almost sacred time, and there have been so many visiting sessions that I wish I could have recorded so that I would have my grandpa’s stories and silly jokes and Grandma’s laughter and comments to share with my children for years to come.

Three hours later, the lunch dishes were cleared from the table, Josiah was off to explore with his great-grandpa, and Grandma and I were ready to get to pickling. She had the canning jars cleaned and waiting in the oven, and she set the temperature to 200° to sterilize them as we cooked the cucumbers on the stove. Also on the stove, she had the jar lids and rings in a pan with water (about ¾ of the way full). Once they came to a near boil, she turned the burner down to a low simmer. Grandma explained that lowering the temperature kept the lids’ seals from sticking together.

Following Great-Grandma Leora’s recipe, we mixed up the brine in a large stock pot and created a “bag” of all the spices. (Grandma used an old kitchen washcloth, cut off a strip to tie it up, and then cut off the excess. You could use cheesecloth or a clean linen cloth.) Once the brine was stirred well and the bag of spices tossed in to float around, we filled the pot with our rinsed cucumbers slices. We actually had so many cucumbers that we had to make extra brine and spices to have enough to come up close to the top of the pot.


Setting the heat to medium-high and stirring occasionally, it was just a matter of time (about 15 minutes) before the first few slices started to become clear or translucent, meaning they were ready to go into a jar. Using a slotted spoon and a funnel, I ladled the first few slices into a waiting, very warm jar fresh from the oven. Once I’d found enough “clear” pickles to fill about half of the jar, Grandma used a towel to hold and cover the top of the jar, giving it a good shake or three, before allowing me to continue to fill it. When the pickle reached almost to the top of the jar, and after another good shake to make sure we couldn’t fit any more in, Grandma used a ladle and tiny strainer to add brine to the jar, filling it up to just where the neck of the jar starts. She gave the mouth of the jar a good wiping off and then using tongs, I carefully place a lid on the top, followed by screwing on the ring. (Note from my first experience: Don’t leave the tongs too close to the small pan on simmer. Metal gets warm there.)

With the jar filled, lidded, and ringed, we set it aside on the counter to begin cooling. (I was quite proud of the first jar.) Then it was on to Jar Number Two. By the time the cucumbers had been cooking for about 30 minutes, all of them were clear and ready to be canned, so Grandma and I worked out a good system of me filling a jar halfway, and then while she shook it down, I worked to fill a second jar. We went back and forth between them until one was filled, brined, sealed, and set on the counter to cool. Then we pulled new jar from the oven.

Life in Lape Haven: Making Grandma's Lime Pickles

We took turns spooning the pickles out of the brine because the hot vinegar in it can be potent and stings the eyes. However, while we worked, we talked and enjoyed our time together. I would ask her questions about making the pickles, and she would try to answer, but she laughed and told me, “I’ve never taught anyone how to make them. But I’ve made them enough that I should be able to tell someone how to do it!”

At the end of the day, we had 12 jars (10 of pickles and 2 of pickle brine), which we split between us since, as my grandma explained, she’d used mostly my cucumbers while she had supplied the items for the brine. (I would have been happy with just learning…and maybe one jar of pickles)

Grandma said they were ready to enjoy as soon as they’d cooled, or the next day, or a couple of years later (as long as they aren’t soft and don’t smell or taste funny). She also instructed me to remove the rings from the jars in the next day or two. Apparently my grandpa had once left some rings on and found out how hard it can be to remove them after they’ve been screwed on so tightly for a few years. He said, “You might need a crowbar.”

As we sat at the kitchen table, listening for the jar lids to “pop,” signaling that the jars had cooled enough and sealed properly, she shared some additional family recipes with me, including recipes from my great-great grandmas, both of my maternal great-grandmas, and even one from a great-great aunt. I definitely plan to try them out and share them with you some time. These recipes, like the one for my Great-Grandma Leora’s Lime Pickles, are part of my inheritance, and they are something I will share with my children throughout the years. Maybe someday I’ll get to teach them to my own grandchildren.

Life in Lape Haven: Making Grandma's Lime Pickles

It might sound silly to some, but I felt so privileged to be able to learn from my grandma how to make her pickles. It’s something that I’ve always wanted to do, and I know I have cousins who would have loved to have shared the experience, too.

Grandpa told me later that my grandma had been “really looking forward to doing this with you.” It almost made me cry. It made my day to know that it was important and special to her, too.

Setting aside this time to allow my grandma to pass on her knowledge, recipes, and stories brought us both tremendous joy and beautiful new memories to cherish together…and five jars of lime pickles each.

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Homemade sweet and tangy lime pickles from my great-grandma's recipe

 

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Going “Naked” at the Water Park

Life in Lape Haven: Going "Naked" at the Water Park - How Being a Mom Has Given Me More Confidence as a Woman. Summertime means water fun and swimsuits. Not most moms favorite attire. Moms, it's time we just forget our insecurities and dive into to having fun with our kids.

How Being a Mom Has Given Me

More Confidence as a Woman

Summertime is a wonderful season. The sunshine and warm temperatures mean my boys are eager for picnics, exploring parks, being outside morning until night, chasing fireflies, and playing in water whenever and wherever they can (Oh, look! A puddle!!! What? What do you mean, “Good clothes?”)

Of course, water and swimming mean swimsuits, which is fine when you’re a 2-year-old or 5-year-old kid. They’d be fine without changing into any swim appropriate attire (see “Puddle” above) or completely nude, if allowed (mine are not). But once most of us hit a certain age, maybe late tweens or early teens, swimwear, along with our outward appearance overall, become kind of a big deal, or rather, a big ordeal.

Life in Lape Haven: Going "Naked" at the Water Park - How Being a Mom Has Given Me More Confidence as a Woman. Summertime means water fun and swimsuits. Not most moms favorite attire. Moms, it's time we just forget our insecurities and dive into to having fun with our kids.

Now I know that there are those special few who are graced with a self-confidence impervious to mean kids or expectations of physical perfection promoted by the media. Kudos to them! I was never one of them. As a teenager and younger adult, I struggled with accepting how I looked, how I wanted to look, and the disparity between the two. And of course, doing what I could to help the situation.

I did not leave the house without my hair fixed or my makeup on. When anyone was coming over to my house, I was ready. Only people who I really knew or trusted, such as family or very close friends, have ever seen me bare-faced or flat-haired. I even had myself all presentable when I gave birth to my boys.

I never had too much of an issue with my weight or my body itself because I stayed active enough and was blessed with good genetics and a healthy metabolism. However, I did watch my diet and tried to exercise to ensure that it never was an issue.

Even marrying the sweetest, most adoring man, one who will adamantly proclaim my beauty and perfection to the world, hasn’t completely changed my self-esteem. He could tell me I’m pretty as I am, and I’d think, “That’s because you love me. Other people don’t.”

Then I had babies. If you think that made me feel better about myself physically, you’d be wrong, at least initially. Was I proud of what my body was able to do (with God’s help and divine design) when I carried and naturally delivered my babies? Absolutely. It was amazing. Precious. Miraculous.

But babies – They can wreak some havoc. Not only do you face weight gain, stretch marks, different boobs, and the knowledge that your body will never be exactly as it was before, but caring for a little one often means sleepless nights and shower-less days, among other things. Not many new mamas go around feeling super beautiful and attractive, at least not most days. As the children get a little older, the time you get to spend on yourself is still less and harder won than before the sweeties were in the picture.

But we love them in the picture. We do. We would never change that picture now. And so slowly, we grow accustomed to a new standard of what is acceptable in order to feel pretty and confident. (When you’ve not shaved in who knows how long, finally doing so is like a whole spa day!)

With more to worry about in our lives than some random stranger’s opinion of us, we can start to relax our comparisons of ourselves to others. When we start to focus on the little people who we love so much, we spend less time focused on ourselves. That’s very freeing.

Life in Lape Haven: Going Naked at the Water Park - Four cousins walking together at the water park

Then came this summer, and we got invited to a water park to celebrate my nephew’s fourth birthday.

First thought – water equals swimsuits. However, I’m fine with rocking the swim shorts and tankini after a few summers as a parent because I have two boys to keep up with, and I don’t want to be readjusting everything each time I move. I’ve learned that, as a mom, sometimes I need to be quicker than I am cute. Just like heels don’t work at the park, a more revealing, more-likely-to-move-around swimsuit isn’t practical for me. Plus, this suit is good to cover up those areas that have…um…changed since having children. It’s still a cute suit, though, so I can feel confident in it.


However, when I’m out and about, I dislike getting totally wet because of my hair and makeup hang-ups. My hair doesn’t look great wet. I mean, I know most people don’t look great with wet hair. Very few people come out of the water looking like the Little Mermaid, with that backlit flip of her gorgeous red locks that fall beautifully into place. Nope. We look like drowned rats. Or raccoons, if we’ve worn too much waterproof mascara, which is generally more water-resistant than waterproof. A tired mom with under-eye circles doesn’t need anything else darkening that area.

That’s why I usually let my husband do the heavy water stuff with my guys when we’re out in public. (You can’t put children in water without getting soaked.) I can better take pictures that way, too. However, for this particular day, he had to work.

It would just be me with my two boys. I knew what that meant – it was either all or nothing.

If I didn’t enter in to that day whole-heartedly and abandon my concerns with how I would look, especially when it was over, my boys might have an okay day, but none of us would have an awesome day.

Life in Lape Haven: Going Naked at the Water Park - Josiah going down a water slide

The morning of our adventure, I made a decision: vanity and self-consciousness were not going to keep me from enjoying my boys and their day to the absolute fullest. I pulled my hair into a ponytail, styled my bangs knowing they would be flat and parted by day’s end, and only applied foundation because of its high SPF (this pale girl burns easily).

Now makeup and hair styles may not be a difficulty for you. You may be able to flaunt your natural beauty without a second thought. But all of us have some area of vulnerability, something that we keep covered up rather than being completely, truly who we are. We fear judgment, rejection, or people misunderstanding us.

Fear, though, is a thief. It’s a lie. And it’s not of God. His Word clearly tells us that “God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

Does this mean that my fear of what people think of me, or any fear, is the end of my Christian walk? No, it just makes me human, and should, honestly, push me closer to God. Where else can I find my true worth and value? I’m important enough to Him that “every day of my life was recorded in (His) book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” (Psalm 139:16) I can come to Him, baring my heart and completely stripped of pretense, with whatever vulnerability or flaw and find grace, love, healing, and acceptance. God knows who He created me to be, and by resting in His love for me (and that of my husband and boys), I can continue to become confident and free in who that is.

At the water park, I felt naked at first, aware of my less-than-my-standard appearance, but once we got to the park, and my boys saw the water, I knew being “bare” for them would be worth it. They didn’t care what I looked like as long as I was with them. And I didn’t really care what I looked like, as long as I was with them. I only hesitated for a second when my 5-year-old pulled me up onto the big kids’ giant play area, where water showers down continuously from all over, and you have no hope of coming out of it as anything less than drenched. I took a deep breath and dove through the torrent, holding onto my laughing, loving little boy’s hand as we headed to a water slide.

Life in Lape Haven: Going Naked at the Water Park - Elijah on a water slide

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Photos courtesy of my sister-in-law, Carrie. Feature image courtesy of pixabay.