Category - Parenting

Confessions of a Preacher’s Kid: #6 – Not Being Like “The World” Doesn’t Mean You Have to Hide From It

April 25, 2016

Confessions of a Preacher's Kid: Not Being "Like the World" Doesn't Mean You Have to Hide From It - While we don't want our kids to look and be like the world around them, but rather set apart for God, we also want them to be prepared to face the world and not just hide from it so that they can reach it with God's love.

In wrapping up my series of “Confessions of a Preacher’s Kid,” I’m looking ahead through the wisdom I’ve gained growing up in church and in a ministry family and thinking about how I want to apply those experiences in laying a solid foundation of faith for my children and encouraging their personal relationships with Jesus.

(If you’ve missed my first five confessions, you can catch up: Confession #1, Confession #2, Confession #3, Confession #4, & Confession #5.)

Of everything I’ve seen in the churches and Christianity, I think one of the hardest balances for a parent to find is guiding their children in being “in the world, but not of it.” In the wicked, evil time that we live, it’s easy to want to hide our children away from everything, but there will come a day when our children will have to face it all, and they will need to decide and know without a doubt in Whom THEY have believed.

Today’s Confession: Not Being Like “The World” Doesn’t Mean You Have to Hide From It

In Georgia, we lived on a beautiful little acre in the country that had all kinds of flowers and trees. Every spring, I could sit on the porch swing and enjoy the azaleas, jasmine, gardenias, and honeysuckle perfuming the air. However, my favorite flowers were the wild yellow roses that grew along the fence line of our driveway.

Year later, I remember using those roses as an example of what I wanted to be. In a conversation with my friend, I compared store-bought, cultivated roses, or “hothouse roses,” with wild roses. They are so different when you look at them. One is grown in a very protected environment, with temperature control, the right plant food, plenty of water, and very little adversity. Then you have a flower that just blooms out in the middle of everything – weather, pests, lawn mowers- and yet it blossoms despite it all. While the cultivated rose may look beautiful and more perfect, it will NEVER match a wild rose for fragrance.

Our children can either be sheltered, bland hothouse roses that smell like basically every other flower in the shop, or they can be strong, thriving FRAGRANT wild roses who can truly impact the world around them.

Now don’t misunderstand my analogy. I’m not saying that we don’t watch out for our children or that we just throw them out into the world and hope they flourish.

What I see in a wild rose is a balance of being set apart while not being totally protected from the weeds, bugs, and storms.

I’ve seen two extremes in Christian parents’ views of raising their children. Some go entirely for “in the world,” allowing their children to be and look like “the world” and never guiding them in being “set apart.” They don’t make God and church a real priority for their family, they permit whatever music or movies or friends their kids want, and they don’t set a standard of holiness for their family. Then they wonder why their children don’t have a strong relationship with God and can’t stand against temptation. (I would say that this flower never blossoms or bears fruit.)

The other extreme are those who avoid everything not “Christian” and focus only on being “not of the world,” controlling everything their children are, or might be, or someday will be, exposed to that isn’t Godly. They obsess over media, don’t have any friends who are nonbelievers, and live by a lot of rules. They generally end up with children who either strongly rebel or kids who live in fear of or constant judgment of those “in the world.” (This would be your greenhouse-raised roses. They usually don’t flourish outside of their original environment.)

Growing up, I knew way more children who were in the second group, very sheltered, than I did those whose parents let them behave just like someone who wasn’t a Christian. I knew Christian kids who couldn’t watch more than a few hours a week of television or movies, kids who weren’t allowed to participate in any parties at school, kids who couldn’t watch Disney…ever, kids who couldn’t listen to any non-Christian music (not even oldies), kids who couldn’t go to the mall, even kids who couldn’t pick their own hairstyles until they were teens.

Should we monitor what our children watch, listen to, read, whom they play with, what they are doing online, and what they are learning in school?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes! Absolutely.

We don’t need to expose our little ones to things that aren’t age-appropriate or discuss topics with them that they aren’t mature enough to handle. We use wisdom.

We are accountable to God for what we allow into our children’s lives and for the example we set for them. We are definitely called to be different from the world and stand out. (1 Peter 2:9)

But some of those kids stood out for reasons that had nothing to do with Jesus. They tended to be socially awkward, a little immature, and they couldn’t even relate well to other kids in the church.

We can’t hide everything from our children for the first 18 years of their lives, and then expect them to be prepared to face a sinful, perverse, fallen world in a Godly way when they are on their own.

Because someday, every child who has been “raised in church” or brought up in a Christian home will face what I call “the jumping off point.”

Someday your child will look at everything you’ve taught them, everything they’ve heard about God, every miracle they’ve witnessed, every prayer that they know has been answered, every rule they’ve been given, every verse they’ve ever read, and they will have to decide, on their own, for themselves, if it’s real. If THEY believe it. If THEY trust Him. If THEY are going to build the foundation of their life on Jesus.

It can happen even after they’ve already given Him their heart. Even after they’ve already said a prayer. Even after they’ve already been used to minister to their friends.

They may face doubts or questions, but that’s okay. God can handle it. He’s a big God. And He knows that they HAVE to make the jump from “what I’ve always been taught” to “what I BELIEVE with all that I am” if they are truly going to serve Him with their life.

The ones that I’ve seen have the hardest time navigating that jump are those who have either been allowed to be “too in the world” or hidden away to be “too not of it.”

Growing up, I watched TV and movies, and I played with neighbor kids who weren’t from Christian homes. We had rules, though. I remember we weren’t allowed to watch “The Simpsons,” but I didn’t really have a desire to. We watched “The Wizard of Oz” (I knew the difference between a fairy tale witch and real witchcraft) and Disney movies, even “The Little Mermaid” (When I was in 5^th grade, I wasn’t looking for the bad stuff that was supposedly “hidden” in the movie. Ariel just had awesome underwater hair.)

I attended public school for most of my K-12 education (very thankful for the Christian school education I received from 6^th-9^th grade, though). I heard about evolution, but I knew what I believed because I’d been reading my Bible. In high school, I went through Sex Ed (ugh), but I’d already had conversations with my mom and the example of my parents’ Godly marriage to balance the “everybody is going to do it” assumption of the curriculum. I sat next to drug addicts and trouble makers in homeroom, but they came to me with prayer requests and genuine questions about God because I wasn’t hiding who I was or Him Whom I believed.

I remember asking God how I could relate to the people around me, since I hadn’t been through some of the rough things they had and I hadn’t done any of the “bad things” they had. How could I reach them?

And He reminded me of Someone else who had been among them but not like them, and He changed the entire world.

I didn’t have to become like them to relate to them.

And even though I was NOT like the world, I didn’t have to hide from it. I could reach it.

That’s what I want for my children: To be fragrant wild roses that flourish, set apart, but attracting those around them with the essence of the God in Whom they believe.

John 17:14-18 ^“I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth. As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world.”

Let Me Be Singing: This Mother’s Anthem for Good & Bad Days

April 21, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven: Let Me Be Singing: This Mother's Anthem for Good and Bad Days. As parents we have great days and rough days, but we never have to face them alone. We can rely on God's strength and find our joy in Him . This popular Christian worship song by Matt Redman has become my anthem and heart-cry, especially for those rough days. I want to be singing when the evening comes.

When I was in the thick of adjusting from being mommy of just one child to mommy of two children, there were some rough days. Not only was Josiah doing his newborn best to get us up as much as possible every night, but Elijah was showing his three-ness with a vengeance.

On those days, I struggled with holding onto the joy of being a mother, and it felt as though all that was left was the chaos. I would feel guilty and inadequate and overwhelmed. It wasn’t how I wanted to feel. I wanted to be able to find the good, like Pollyanna, and choose to be joyful, even when I was tired.

Around this time, I remember one Sunday when we were singing Matt Redman’s “10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord),” and it was as though the song was written as my own personal anthem, especially the first verse.

“The sun comes up, it’s a new day dawning
It’s time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes.”

Every morning I would rise with great intentions to have a better day than the one before, to face “whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me” with a determination to still “be singing when the evening comes.” I didn’t want to end every day defeated and beat down. But when your alarm clock is a baby crying or a toddler’s whining, you can feel drained before you even get out of bed.

But, lo and behold! The answer is in the chorus of the same song:

“Bless the Lord, O my soul, O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before, O my soul
I’ll worship Your holy name”

It was a reminder that, yes, we can choose to bless the Lord in everything. We can encourage ourselves in the Lord like David did (1 Samuel 30:6). We don’t have to let the frustrations overwhelm us. We can look to Him.

I think I get most overwhelmed and frustrated when I feel as though I have to do it all, and do it all myself. I’m the mom. When it’s just my boys and me at home, I’m the lone adult – I fix the food, I change the diapers, I soothe the crankies, I clean the messes, I enforce the rules. Sometimes those things are not easy or joyful.

Plus, I know that no matter how awesome of a super mom I am, I am not enough on my own. Moms, Dads – we’re not enough, despite what some cutesy, well-intentioned memes or inspirational quotes tell us. On my own, alone, I will never be enough for my children. I can’t be.

And yet, WITH God…well, all things are possible.

I don’t HAVE to do it all on my own or alone.

If the first verse is the cry of my heart, and the chorus is the reminder of “from whence cometh my help,” then the second verse is the reassurance that God has me (and my children) in His hands, and that’s a beautiful place to be.

“You’re rich in love, and You’re slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find”

Since God has given me my children, He has equipped me to parent them, and when I rely on Him, then His joy can be my strength on the good days and the rough ones. He loves us all richly, and He is patient and kind. He’s forgiving when I make mistakes in parenting my boys, and He’s there to guide me and help me do it right. He gives me wisdom when I have no idea what I’m doing, and He helps me see the humor in so many of their innocent, but disastrous messes.

It’s not just looking for the good, but looking to His goodness, that will have me still “singing when the evening comes.”

JUNK CEREAL SATURDAY: How an Idea from My Hubby Makes Breakfast Easier Every Day

April 14, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven - Junk Cereal Saturday: How an Idea from My Hubby Makes Breakfast Easier Every Day. Mornings have enough reasons for stress and kids arguing. What cereal my boys can eat for breakfast isn't one of them. A rule that my hubby and I decided on before our boys were born helps us keep them making healthy choices without missing the fun and makes our Saturday morning memorable and special.

Recently a mom friend of mine was talking about her kids and how one of them wanted a certain not-so-great cereal all the time – breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner. Having a picky eater myself, I know that struggle is real. However, it made me appreciate a rule about cereal that my hubby and I decided on for our home before our boys had ever had any.

When Brad and I first met, he was not a breakfast eater. However, once we were married, he got into the habit of at least having something, mostly because I HAVE to eat breakfast, and he would have breakfast with me.

At some point, either when I was pregnant with Elijah or shortly after he was born, Brad and I had a discussion about breakfast and what cereals we would allow our children to eat. Being the more health-conscious parent, my rules were no artificial dyes and lower sugar content, with more natural, nutritious, and organic options being preferred.

Brad, however, made a stand for allowing fun cereals, or what we call “junk cereals,” at least on occasion. Junk cereals would be all the ones you always wanted as a kid – you know, they have an engaging mascot on a brightly colored box that usually advertises an exciting “prize” hidden among the not-good-for-you-at-all-but-delicious-and-sugary O’s, flakes, or clusters.

Bringing in a good dose of nostalgia to his arguments, Brad painted the picture of waking early on a Saturday morning and enjoying that type of cereal while watching cartoons in your pajamas.

“They at least need that option on Saturday,” he stated. He wanted his children to have those fun memories that he did. Either that, or he just wanted that kind of cereal for himself. Haha. I think it was both.

So we reached a compromise: Junk Cereal Saturday.

Since that day, our boys have grown up knowing that Sunday through Friday, they have to pick from our healthiest options on the days we eat cereal (Cereal or oatmeal are usually the go-to, especially on school days. Bigger breakfasts with eggs, pancakes, or something more involved happen when I have more time in the mornings.)

We have no whining or begging for those “fun” cereals because they know the Junk Cereal Saturday rule, and like anything else with parenting, when you lay out the guidelines and stick to them without wavering from the start, the kids are less likely to push those boundaries. The few times that the boys have asked for a junk cereal during the week, all we have to do is remind them that that particular cereal is for Saturday.

Because of this, Saturday is extra special for our boys, and they get genuinely excited when they remember that it’s Junk Cereal day. They get to indulge in the fun cereals, and they love it.

Of course, being the sneaky Mom that I am, I still make sure that even our “junk cereals” are relatively healthy. There are so many options now for more natural, dye-free cereals that look fun and taste yummy that it’s pretty easy. We love Kashi, Barbara’s, Cascadian Farms, Mom’s Best, and Aldi’s Simply Nature. Since they only eat junk cereal once a week, it lasts, too, so even if it’s not on sale, we aren’t spending too much. (But I always stock up when good cereal is on sale or I have a coupon!) I’ve even had the boys ask me if a certain cereal is “junk cereal,” hoping that it is, and I just say, “Sure. It can be,” even when, in my mind, it isn’t. Haha.

Knowing that they get to look forward to a special cereal on a day that they can really enjoy it makes my boys’ choices (and attitudes) in the morning easier every day of the week. Knowing that my boys aren’t filling up on empty calories and junk that their growing little bodies don’t need (and we don’t need either) makes my morning easier. Having a guideline set out that we all know and accept makes the mornings easier for us all.

And yes, on most Saturdays, you can find my boys in their pajamas, munching on their special cereal, and watching their cartoons with Mommy and Daddy, enjoying Junk Cereal Saturday to the fullest.

Does your family have a unique food rule or favorite Saturday tradition?

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Tried It Tuesday: My Kids’ New Favorite Board Game

April 5, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven - Tried It Tuesday: My Kids' New Favorite Board Game. With all the gifts my son received for his birthday, I didn't expect this simple, but cute, board game to be his new favorite game to play. Our whole family enjoys this award-winning game.

This post contains an affiliate link, which means at no additional cost to you, I may receive a small commission when you make a purchase through the link.

With Josiah’s recent birthday, he has had an influx of new toys, clothes, and games to enjoy.

Of all the things he received for his birthday, there is one thing that both he and Elijah have been playing with more than any other: The Sneaky Snacky Squirrel Game.

I could claim all kinds of “awesome parent” points for this since it was from Mommy & Daddy, and I picked out the game… except that with Easter and birthday party prep, I kind of overlooked getting him a present until a couple days before his birthday. (Brad and I have been considering getting the boys a swing set or playset for our yard, but we hadn’t found one yet, so we kept putting off getting Josiah’s birthday gifts, just in case we came across a swing set before his birthday.)

Thankfully, my instincts were good on this one. I knew I had seen comments about how much families liked this award-winning game, so I figured it would be worth a try. Besides, we (read: Mommy) can only play so many games of Candyland.

The boys even played this game in their blanket fort.

From the minute we opened the box, the boys were intrigued (and fighting over the adorable “squirrel squeezer”). With their little tree trunks in front of them, they barely let me read over the very easy directions before they started trying to play.

It’s a really simple game with a spinner, acorns in five different colors, tree trunks for “stashing” your acorns, and the aforementioned cute little squirrel squeezer that you use to pick up the acorns. The object of the game is to collect all 5 colors of acorns before anyone else, but you have to watch out for obstacles on the spinner that slow you down: the Sad Squirrel that causes you to lose your turn and the wind storm that blows all your acorns back to the main tree.

Without a doubt, our boys’ favorite thing to land on is the Sneaky Squirrel because then they get to steal an acorn from someone else. They are positively delighted to get to be so mischievous. Of course, they don’t really enjoy it when someone else steals their acorn, so it’s been a great game for teaching them to be a good sport.

That first day we played several rounds of the game, and we’ve played it nearly every day since. They played it with their grandparents, and Josiah even took it over to his cousins’ house this past week to introduce them to the fun. Watching the four boys play it together was hilarious and precious. They all loved the sense of accomplishment when they managed to collect all their acorns and win a game.

As a parent, I appreciate the simplicity of the game, which makes it easy for my 3-year-old to play without help, while not being too young for my 5-year-old (or Brad and I) to have fun. The game is designed to help encourage color identification, as well as matching, sorting, strategic thinking, hand-eye coordination, fine motor skills and pre-handwriting skills, and I can already see improvement for Josiah in some of those areas.

So even if it was more of a last-minute gift, it has turned out to be a great one, one that our entire family enjoys playing, and one that has easily become our boys’ new favorite board game.

The Happy Talent of Play

March 31, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven: The Happy Talent of Play. We need to encourage our children to develop their talent for play and make sure that our own skills in that area stay sharp, too.

The other day as I was folding clothes in the living room, the boys were playing a few feet away. Elijah is on Spring Break this week, and while they had been crazy earlier, fighting and whining, Elijah and Josiah were behaving well now and getting along happily. In fact, they were loudly enjoying themselves.

As I worked, instead of blocking them out, I intentionally tuned in through the chaos of the boys playing together to listen to what and how they were playing together.

Just on the other end of the couch where I was stacking clean clothes, the boys had constructed a “fort” with a blanket stretched from the main couch to the end table to the smaller chaise we’d brought down from upstairs on Saturday for more party seating for Josiah’s birthday.

From their little corner hideaway came the giggles and chatter that only come from true play and imagining. With nearly all the pillows in the house either underneath them as their floor or propped up against the piano bench as doors, the boys were pretending to be a king (Elijah) and a prince (Josiah).

I’m not certain what their storyline was because it changed frequently. However, I gathered that there was a “bad guy” that they had to fight, but they didn’t want to leave their castle. With my suggestion that they post trustworthy guards at the gate when they went to battle, Josiah’s new stuffed Chewbacca was recruited and placed at the opening of their fortress.

Probably the best thing I heard that day was their conversation with their new guard as they prepared to go fight:

Elijah: “How many people have tried to get into the castle?”

(Elijah pushes the button on the talking Chewbacca): “Arrrrgghroooowrrr arraaggh.”

Elijah: “Eleven million?”

Chewbacca: “Arrrggghrooowrrr.”

Elijah: “Ok.” To Josiah, “He’s put them all in the jail. Let’s go.”

Josiah: “Ok. Let’s go get the bad guy.”

Chewy makes a pretty impressive guard – he put eleven million people in jail in one day!

I love it when my boys really play like this, using their imaginations and creativity, rather than just wanting to sit and stare at a tablet or TV screen (we like technology and media, but we don’t want our children to be bogged down by it). Actual play allows them to build memories together and bond as brothers and friends, learning how to get along and find unique solutions to resolve their imaginary (and real) conflicts.

I especially love when I can witness them playing together or better yet, join in with them. (Post-birthday-party clean-up had me playing a bit of catch-up with the housework first, though. I did, however, get to play some “Sneaky, Snacky Squirrel” with them a bit later.)

From the time our boys could speak, one of their favorite questions for Brad and me is, “Will you play with me/us?”

And while we know we can’t be at their beck and call all day long, we do our best to get down on the floor, or under the blanket fort, or out in the yard, and play along.

Today we had a chance to visit a local park as a family for about an hour or so, running around the huge playground and exploring the pathways and pond. As we wandered around the area, we went through a rather nice shelter house that had this saying carved over one of the two fireplaces (seriously, fireplaces in the shelter house):

“It is a happy talent to know how to play.” Emerson

Brad laughed at me for snapping a picture of the quote, but I wanted to make sure I didn’t forget it later.

We were there with our boys, playing, nurturing a talent that I want them to use every day for the rest of their lives and making sure that Brad and I don’t let our own talent for play get rusty.

As parents, we like to encourage our kids in practicing piano or learning to draw or developing any other number of skills, giftings, and abilities that God has given them. This little quote reminded me that I also want my boys to be very talented in knowing how to play, to create their own fun, to make-believe and pretend, and to find joy and adventure in a simple walk around the block or a dash across a field.

We can’t forget the importance of this talent, in both our children and ourselves.

If you need a little inspiration, here are some fun quotes about the importance of play:

“Those who play rarely become brittle in the face of stress or lose the healing capacity for humor.” –Stuart Brown, M.D.

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” – George Bernard Shaw

“Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.” – Mark Twain

“Children need the freedom and time to play. Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity.” – Kay Redfield Jamison

“Play keeps us vital and alive. It gives us an enthusiasm for life that is irreplaceable. Without it, life just doesn’t taste good.” – Lucia Capocchione

“Do not…keep children to their studies by compulsion but by play.” – Plato

“Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood.” – Fred Rogers

“Surely all God’s people…like to play.” – John Muir

“A child who does not play is not a child, but the man who does not play has lost forever the child who lived in him.” – Pablo Neruda

Confessions of a Preacher’s Kid: #2 – My Parents Never Expected Us to Be “Perfect Preacher’s Kids”

March 28, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven: Confessions of a Preacher's Kid: #2 - My Parents Never Expected Us to Be "Perfect Preacher's Kids" - Expecting our children to always behave and never make mistakes is wrong, especially when we place the importance on the outward appearance and not their heart.

Last week I introduced a blog series based on my experiences growing up as a preacher’s kid. In these “Confessions of a Preacher’s Kid,” I’m sharing what I’ve learned about Christianity, following Jesus, and the church from my behind-the-scenes perspective and how it affects how I’m laying foundations of faith for my own children.

Today’s Confession: My Parents Never Expected Us to Be “Perfect Preacher’s Kids”

We all know that no one is perfect, so saying that my parents didn’t expect their children to be perfect doesn’t seem like that profound of a statement.

However, in some church environments, there is a certain expectation or higher standard held up for not only the minister, but his entire family. They are set up as an example for the entire congregation to follow.

When I say “expectations or high standards,” I’m not talking about God’s standards for those leading His people. Those are a given. Your pastor should be living a life that is pleasing and honoring to God. Absolutely. He should be in fellowship with and accountable to Godly counsel. His house should definitely be in order. (1 Timothy 3:1-13)

But order doesn’t mean perfection or flawless. It means the home is under God’s authority, His presence reigns there, and that the parents are next in the chain of command, leading their children, dependent on God’s grace and wisdom.

Those expectations and standards are right.

However, sometimes people add to this, adding a pressure of perfection to those other requirements that is impossible for any human to maintain. They have an ideal of what they believe that the pastor, his wife, or his children should be like (very friendly and outgoing, always in a great mood, supernaturally holy and reverent, dressed in a certain way, etc.)

And while that can be difficult for a pastor or pastor’s wife, it’s even more difficult for a child.

Children are still learning every day. They make mistakes every day. They will most likely misbehave often. They haven’t perfected the art of sharing and putting others first, so they might be selfish at points. There will be times when they will be loud and rowdy or cranky. Their attention span is generally going to be shorter than an adult’s.

Thankfully, my parents understood this. And while I saw other minister’s children held to impossible standards by their families or congregation members, I wasn’t. That kind of pressure and emphasis on behaving because you’re being watched rather than because it comes from your heart creates someone who is good at playing along with Christianity but their heart is far from Christ. (Isaiah 29:13)

Of course, while my parents didn’t expect unrealistic perfection from us, they did require us to behave as they knew we could and should, based on our age and experience, and they prayed for us and had faith that God would keep us as we grew in Him.

My mother once had a conversation with another woman in ministry where this woman basically told my mom, “Oh, I expect my children to experiment with drinking and other things that they shouldn’t. They’re kids.” My mom’s reply was, “I don’t,” and she defended the foundation that she knew was being laid for us and her faith in God to lead us and His Holy Spirit to convict us. She didn’t demand for us to be super holy and perfect, but she also didn’t give us permission to live like the world. My parents trained us, discipled us, and disciplined us as needed. But our behavior wasn’t about the impression we were making or because we were the preacher’s kids. It was about becoming more like Christ and doing what was right and pleasing to God. If my parents hadn’t been in ministry positions, they would have trained us the exact same way.

As a little girl, I was a talkative, boisterous, wiggly child with boundless energy, a solid stubborn streak, and a temper thrown in just for fun. (My mother has laughed about how much my oldest son is like me, even to the point of telling me that she kind of feels sorry for me since she knows what I have to deal with sometimes.)

If any church member expected me to sit completely still and absorb every word spoken during the sermon and not doodle or fidget or fight with my brothers, they were probably sadly disappointed.

Some people seem to expect a child who is following Jesus to behave like a tiny adult, with a maturity that he or she hasn’t arrived at yet.

I loved Jesus. I absolutely did. But I was still a child, and even as I grew, I wasn’t perfect.

As an adult now, I have to remember that with my own children and the children I teach at church. While I can train my boys to be quiet during prayer (“close your eyes, sit still, clasp your hands” are just tools to help them focus), they aren’t going to last through a ten-minute interceding without at least looking around at some point. I can teach them how to respect God’s house and take care of the church, but they are still going to break out in a run occasionally, either entering or exiting the building, or talk loudly (even yell) when they get excited about something.

And as they grow and mature into older children, then young adults, they still aren’t going to always do everything right or be perfect, but Brad and I are prayerful that they will become more and more sensitive to God’s leading, as we continue to lead them in their walk with God, praying with them and over them and being the examples that they need. We never want their behavior to be based on an outward appearance. We want it to be motivated by their relationship with Jesus and His work in their lives.

“Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.” Philippians 3:12