Tag - parenting

Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World – Review & Giveaway

January 25, 2016

No one plans to raise a selfish child or spoiled brat. Every parent dreams of their child being selfless, generous, and appreciative. But it’s challenging to raise a grateful child in a culture that has a hard time saying no. We love our kids and want to give them the world. How do we say no to our child when “every other child” gets “everything they want?”

Kristen Welch, author of We are THAT family and founder of Mercy House, is learning the way to give the world to her children is by giving them perspective. She’s discovered the ultimate yes in bringing up faith-filled kids who love God and others.

It’s never too late to raise grateful kids. With Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World, get ready to cultivate a spirit of genuine gratitude in your family and create a home in which your kids don’t just say―but mean!― “thank you.”

Back in November, I read those words as I considered joining the launch team for this new parenting book (which releases tomorrow, Tuesday, January 26). While I felt as though my hubby and I were doing a fairly decent job of raising our boys, who are still young at almost-3-years-old and 5, to be considerate, compassionate, and grateful, I was also excited to discover what advice and affirmation Kristen’s book would hold. Having read her blog, We are THAT Family, I knew it would be full of insightful and Biblically-founded wisdom from her experiences with her family and her relationship with God.

I was right.

From the very first pages of the Introduction, I was being challenged and encouraged in my role as a Godly mother, to lay the right foundations for my children, even when it’s hard or they don’t think it’s fair. I was reading passages out loud to my husband and discussing the points that Kristen brought out.

As we got closer to Christmas, I wrote a post, “Why We Don’t Need More This Christmas,” about scaling back on the gifts for our children and ourselves. While this was an idea we’d already been working toward, as I read through the first chapters of Kristen’s book, which deal with the entitlement and self-centeredness of our culture, the idea of tempering our children’s expectations of Christmas became more than just a good idea, it became a starting point for change in our family’s mindset and expectations.

Through other circumstances at the time, I could see a lightbulb going off for my husband. Like me, he began to see the areas in his own life where entitlement had settled in and taken root long ago. It truly surprised him.

As the parents, we were discovering what Kristen did:

“And as uncomfortable as it sounds, parents who want less-entitled kids have to be less entitled themselves, and parents who want to raise more grateful kids need to start by living more grateful lives.”

As I made my way through the rest of the book, which challenges parents on everything from unsupervised or excessive use of technology to “participation awards” and not allowing our children to fail to preparing them to be okay with being different from the world, I noticed something that was pretty impressive.

In everyday situations, not only was I more aware of my own entitlement and therefore putting aside more of my selfishness, but I was responding to my children’s entitled or selfish tendencies more intentionally, utilizing the wisdom and tips I’d gained from reading Kristen’s experiences, sometimes without even realizing in the moment that I was doing it.

While I love the many, many take-aways and quotables from this book, the true mark of a great book is when it makes a change in you and when you can easily apply it lessons to your life.

Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World is one of those books, and I wish every parent would read it.

I know that I’m very grateful that I did.

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You can pre-order a copy of the book, which releases tomorrow, at RaisingGratefulKids.com or from your favorite bookseller, such as Barnes & Noble or Amazon.

Here is an affiliate link for Amazon (which means that at no additional cost to you, I may receive a small commission if you use the link) since it is currently only $10 on their site: Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World.

You can also read the first chapter here on Tyndale’s site, and on Kristen’s We are THAT Family blog, you can download a free journal that goes along with the book.

If you would like to see more of my thoughts on Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World, you can check out “How My Children Remind Me to Pray with Gratitude” and “One Question I’ll Be Asking My Children (& Myself) Everyday.”

For more ideas on cultivating gratefulness in your home, you can follow my Raising Grateful Kids board on Pinterest. 🙂

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~ GIVEAWAY ~

Because I think Kristen’s book is such a wonderful resource for parents, and I know that so many of you are eager to read it, I’m giving away a paperback copy to one of you!!!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thanks for entering! This contest is open to residents of the U.S. only and runs from Monday, January 25 (12:00 a.m.), through Friday, January 29, 2016, at 11:59pm EST (I know, specific.). The winner will be notified by email within 48 hours of the contest ending. Winner has 48 hours to respond before another winner is selected.

*I received an advanced digital copy of this book from Tyndale House Publishing as part of my participation on the launch team and in exchange for my honest review. My recommendation is based entirely on my enjoyment of the book.*

*Book image courtesy of Tyndale Publishing House.

One Question I’ll Be Asking My Children (& Myself) Everyday

January 21, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven: One Question I'll Be Asking My Children (& Myself) Everyday. Inspired by the book "Raising Grateful Kids an Entitled World" and in an effort to remind my children to think about others more, I'll be asking them this question at the end of each day.

This post contains Amazon affiliate links, which mean that at no additional cost to you, I may receive a small commission when you use the link.

Yesterday when I picked up Elijah from school, I did the same thing nearly every parent does when they see their children at the end of the day: I asked him, “How was your day?”

I actually hate that question. It’s so cliché, but even more so, it never really invites real conversation since the only answers you are likely to get are “Good” or “Fine.” Somedays Elijah will be really excited about something that happened, such as when he “clips up” to purple (the best spot on their behavior charts) and gets a prize. Otherwise, he doesn’t elaborate much with that question.

So, I generally try to ask more engaging, open-ended questions, such as, “What was the best part about today?” While that has been a decent question to get Elijah sharing, I wanted to be asking questions that encouraged him to see his day in a new way.

Since reading Kristen Welch’s (We are THAT Family) new book, Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World, I’ve found myself rethinking certain things that I say and do as a mom and how that sets my children’s expectations and attitudes.

For example, asking Elijah if he had a good time or fun day at school (or church or his grandparents, etc), reinforces the idea that he should always be having fun or made to be happy. Hmmmm.

As Kristen shared,

“I bought into the lie that it’s my job to make my kids’ childhood magical and fun, to guarantee that every day will be an adventure all about them.”

If that’s how we think, that’s what our children will expect. They will think life is 1) all about fun, and 2) all about them. Neither is true.

Kristen explained it this way,

“I think this requirement of being happy all the time is where entitlement thrives. In my parenting poll, when I asked, “What do you want most for your kids?” there were two main answers: I want them to follow Christ, and I want them to be happy. Sometimes both aren’t possible at the same time. Think about it. If we fix every problem, cater to every need, and bend over backwards to keep our kids happy all the time, we are setting them up for a false reality because life won’t always offer them the same courtesy.”

Sure, it’s an innocent question. Will he have a good time and fun at those places? Hopefully. However, he’s not going to school or church to be entertained or amused or comfortable. He’s going to learn and grow. (PS: Adults, church and school are not for YOUR entertainment or comfort, either. That whole “learning and growing” thing is for us, too.)

Spending time with family is not just about him, either. Is Grandpa fun? Yes. Will Grandma feed Elijah? Most likely. Does Elijah have to be the center of attention, or doing just what HE wants to the whole time we are there? No. I want him to be aware of others, even considering others before himself. I hope that I am doing the same.

So, instead of asking questions that make Elijah feel as though everyone else’s world should revolve around him and every day should be super awesome just for him, I want to ask him questions that shift his focus a little bit.

Yesterday, God put this question for Elijah in my heart.

While we were working on his snack, I asked him, “So, did you get to help anybody today?”

He paused for a second, and then his face lit up. LIT UP.

“Yes, well, sort of. I tried to help Harley with her coat, but I had my gloves on, so I couldn’t zip it all the way.”

Today, his answer was, “No,” somewhat sadly. Then, “No, wait! I DID help someone. I helped Julian tie his shoes.”

Do I want him to feel as though he HAS to do good deeds all day long? No. It’s not about works. It’s about awareness and perspective.

What if my asking him this one question each afternoon causes him to look for opportunities to reach out and help others every day? And what if my asking him that question does the same for me?

It’s just a reminder to think of others at least once during our day.

Then maybe one day when I ask him “What was the best part of your day?” and “Did you help someone today,” the answer to both will be the same thing.

That would be pretty cool.

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For more of my thoughts on Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World:

How My Children Remind Me to Pray With Gratitude

Why We Don’t Need More This Christmas

You can pre-order Kristen’s book, which releases on January 26, by visiting RaisingGratefulKids.com or from Amazon, Christianbooks.com, or Barnes & Noble. If you’d like to read the first chapter, you can find it here.

Going on a Date with My 5-year-old

January 18, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven: Going on a Date with My 5-year-old. I didn't realize how important some Mommy and me time was to my son until I scheduled a date night for us to spend some time together, one-on-one. His excitement proved that it was something very special to him.

When Elijah brought home the flyer for a “Me and My Gal” night at his school, I admit – at first I dismissed it as something I didn’t particularly want to do. I doubted that he even paid any attention to the note about a glow-in-the-dark themed dance/game night for the boys at his school to bring their “favorite girl” (mom, grandma, aunt) to, and that was fine with me.

However, I didn’t throw the note away.

The next day while I was cleaning the kitchen, I looked at the note again, and I felt as though God wanted me to ask Elijah about. In my heart, I immediately knew that this would be important to him and important to my relationship with him.

That day he came home and mentioned the “glow party,” saying that he wanted to go.

The more I talked to him about it, though, I realized the main reason he wanted to go: he wanted to be with me.

Then as I thought about that, I decided that we had another option in addition to “go to the party” or “don’t go.”

So, I gave Elijah a choice: we could go to the school event (where it would be somewhat awkward for us because we didn’t know anyone else going, where it would be a later night than he was used to, and where we wouldn’t be as free to just be us with all the dancing and games planned), or we could go on a “Mommy-Elijah date” where he got to plan what we did and where we went.

Elijah proved my theory of “just wanting to be with Mommy” correct. Without hesitation or second thoughts, he chose to do a date night, just us.

He also immediately suggested that we should go to the Japanese steakhouse for our date.

If only.

After explaining that not even Daddy usually got to take me there on a date, we discussed a more appropriate budget, and he made his second suggestion: going to get frozen yogurt. (We would have let him pick something a little more expensive, but that was what he wanted).

Then he proved that even though he’s only 5-years-old, he knows the way to a girl’s heart.

He said, “Then we can go to Hobby Lobby, if you want, Mommy. “

IF I want to go to Hobby Lobby? Hahaha.

Frozen yogurt and Hobby Lobby? Sounded like a great idea to me.

For the next couple of weeks, his world only existed on time that was measured by when our date night was. He counted down the days, he told everyone about “getting to take Mommy on a date,” he wrote about it in his journal at school, and he reminded me every day that we had a special night coming up.

At one point, I thought I might have another thing on the night we had picked, and he was nearly in tears until I realized it was a week later.

I honestly never thought he would latch onto this idea as firmly as he did or that time with Mommy was something he was missing so much.

I probably should have. I mean, I’ve often thought about how we definitely want to do that as the boys get older. But I should have known he needed that to start now.

He’s still adjusting to being in school all day after having spent pretty much all day, every day with me since he was born. His time when he gets home is spent playing with his brother, eating dinner, reading his homework book, and getting ready for bed. There hasn’t been much Elijah-Mommy time, and definitely not as much as he was used to before school.

The day of our date I don’t know how his teacher got him to focus on his work at all. He was bouncing from the moment he got out of bed in the morning until, and especially when, I picked him up in the afternoon. He told his teacher where we were going, probably for the fiftieth time that week, bless her heart.

And then we were off…well, after we dropped Josiah off at his “date with Grandma.”

En route to the frozen yogurt place, Elijah told me that “tonight is going to be amazing.”

He was so desperate for time with me that yogurt, Hobby Lobby, and a stop into Target for something we needed at the house was “amazing” to him.

Clearly, we need to spend more one-on-one time together.

However, it was a delightful evening. We tasted different flavors of yogurt, then filled our cups with our favorites and topped them with a few items from the multitude of offerings, including berries, waffle cone pieces, and whipped cream. Elijah added a gummy frog to his because his teacher said that’s what she liked from that yogurt place. (You know, during one of the many conversations he had with her about his date with Mommy.)

While we ate, he talked about his day, much like he would any other day. There were no deep discussions, no major life advice shared with him. Just us being together. And it was wonderful.

He brought money with him for Hobby Lobby…$1.25…so he could buy something…for himself (Some date.) He was thrilled when we found a stamp with the letter “E” in the clearance items for only $0.75. We were able to get him a child-friendly ink pad for only about $1 or so (using their weekly 40% off coupon) – Mommy’s treat.

After we’d wandered through the wonderland of Hobby Lobby long enough, we headed to Target. When we were checking out, he whispered to me that he was going to ask the cashier for two stickers, one for him and one for me, “since we are on a date.”

I’m not sure if the cashier heard him or not, but seconds later, she actually offered him a sticker before he could ask.

“Can I have two? I’m on a date with my Mommy, “ he told her.

Of course, the lady smiled and happily gave us two special stickers. Elijah just beamed.

I’m not sure if the night lived up to Elijah’s “amazing” expectations, but I know he was a very happy boy.

Something that to me was so simple and that started with something that I almost completely ignored meant the world to him.

So much so that the next morning, he was still glowing and measuring time by our date.

He climbed into bed, gave me a hug, and said, “It’s the day after our date, Mommy.”

I asked him then and there if he’d go out with me again.

Do you have special date nights or times with each of your children?

Earlier this year I shared my thoughts on Elijah’s first day of school in the post, Embracing the Moments of “Mommy Sadness.”

Having a Second Child: the amazing multiplication of love

January 11, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven: Having a Second Child - the amazing multiplication of love. When we found out I was pregnant with our second baby, it was just as wonderful and exciting as the first time. But it was different. Were we ready to face life with a newborn again? Could we love this little one the same as our first child?

I stepped over several books, a Hot Wheels car, and a toy horse to get him there, but I gently laid my snuggly little sleeping boy into his bed and settled the blanket over him. He didn’t even notice, although he did roll over and cuddle down into his pillow a bit more in his sleep.

Josiah will be three in March, but he still seems so little. Funny, because when I was pregnant with this little guy, his older brother was about this age, although at times Elijah seemed older.

As our second child, Josiah has been our lesson in realizing the multiplication of love.

When you get married, your love is directed very pointedly at one person. Yes, you still love family and friends, and most certainly and firstly God, but the love that you share with your spouse will build your life and family in a new way. You learn to sacrifice and give of yourself daily to minister to one person.

Then the love between you and your spouse begets a new one: your first child. Suddenly you are hit with so much overwhelming love you don’t know how you can stand it. All of those sappy Hallmark and Johnson’s Baby Wash commercials hit home in a way that is so much more personal and heart-wrenching. (Seriously – tearing up over diaper advertisements is kind of annoying). Your world is so full with giving and giving and giving to this demanding, needy, beautiful, precious child. They bring you joy and sleepless nights, and you love every minute of it (okay, let’s be honest – not every minute. Sometimes it’s WAY HARD, and you are beyond exhausted and frustrated, but you know deep down that they are so, so worth it).

Elijah and me on his first night home.

When you discover that Baby #2 is growing in your belly, it’s not exactly the same as when you found out you were pregnant with your first child. It’s just as wonderful, just as exciting, and just as precious. But now you know what’s ahead…and you don’t.

With Elijah, we were blissfully clueless, like every new parent ever in the history of the world. We knew about other people’s children. We had an “idea” (hahahaha) of what to expect. We were as prepared as we could be, and yet we were woefully unprepared.

Then we learned. We experienced firsthand the struggles, the revealing of still-hidden selfishness in our hearts (babies will root it out!), the discovering of unexpected reserves of strength and tenacity that even I, a very stubborn person, didn’t know I had. We endured the exhaustion, the helplessness, the euphoric happiness, the awe-filled moments, the diapers, and the crying-for-no-reason (Elijah’s and ours). We felt the all-encompassing love that grabs your heart and turns your eyes toward Heaven, giving you a glimpse of how completely God loves us, changing your relationship with Him and your perspective of Him forever.

Brad holding newborn Elijah.

That is how it was with the first child.

The second gives you pause, even if the very briefest of milliseconds of a pause.

You now have experiences, both good and bad. You know as you didn’t before what you are getting into. Those first six weeks with a newborn can be a battle, even with the best of babies, and the nine months leading up to it will be unlike the first pregnancy. Now you are not just pregnant, but you are pregnant while caring for and chasing after a child, one that you have to help prepare for a sibling’s arrival.

You love your first child so much. Will you feel the same toward another one? This next child will be different in many ways. Will you bond as well with him?

In all honesty, Brad struggled more with this question than I did at points, but even I, the mother, who could feel his wiggles and kicks and rib-breaking shoves (he was my parkour baby and still is), didn’t feel as connected to Josiah during my pregnancy as I did with Elijah. Perhaps it was because I was busier, more distracted this time around, since Elijah, at two, required a good deal of my attention and supervision. I didn’t have as many of those quiet, calm moments to just bask in the wonder of my baby’s little life, contemplating who he might become or what he would look like. I loved him, I anticipated his arrival, but I didn’t feel as though I “knew” him as well before he was born as I seemed to know Elijah.

Little Elijah napping

Facing down labor and delivery a second time, knowing what it really entailed instead of the vagueness of the “you’ll forget it all once your baby is here” fib, didn’t make it easier. I delivered both my boys naturally and without pain medicine, so choosing that intense experience again was still a little intimidating.

However, being more educated and confident in my position as a mom, I was ready to face what I had to because I also knew the sweetness and joy of a little one’s snuggles, coos, and giggles; the heart-melting tenderness that engulfs you when their tiny hand clutches yours; the completeness and contentment that surrounds you as they sleep peacefully in your arms; the joy and pride in watching them become their own little person, full of talents, personality, and uniqueness.

Josiah entered our world, and Brad and I still weren’t sure of what we’d name him. We thought we knew, but with Elijah we had pretty much known for certain. When the nursed laid Josiah, tiny and wiggly, on my chest, I pulled him up close, before they could clean him off or weigh him. I just held him, memorizing his puffy little features and surprised by his head full of dark hair. Then he cuddled into me, much as he still does now when I hold him, and I knew he was our “Josiah.”

Newborn Josiah at the hospital.

From that instant on, there was no doubt in my mind that I loved him as deeply and unconditionally as I loved Elijah. There was a space, a huge space, in my heart that was all for him, and he took it over completely.

Loving Josiah did affect my love for my hubby and Elijah, but it didn’t diminish it. In fact, the love in our family multiplied. Not only did we all adore Josiah, but my love for my other two guys grew as well. Watching Elijah become a wonderful big brother and seeing Brad’s pride in his two boys made my heart full to bursting.

: Elijah was so proud to be a big brother.

: Sweet little Josiah (photo courtesy Picture Bliss Photography)

: Our first family picture with Josiah. (photo courtesy Picture Bliss Photography)

We navigated the adjustment from a one-child home to a two-child home with a few bumps and scuffles, but we managed it, even on less sleep than before (because Elijah decided to stop sleeping all night, too, for a while).

While we hoped and prayed that Josiah might be calmer and more laid-back than his brother, we soon learned that he was our little daredevil, full of curiosity, fearlessness, and mischief – the perfect sidekick for Elijah.

As we bonded as a family, I once again felt that all-encompassing love that grabs your heart and turns your eyes toward Heaven, only this time, I saw a glimpse of not only how God loves me, but how He can love me AND every other person in the world, individually and completely, all at the same time.

Having one child had shown me God’s heart toward me. Having a second showed me His heart for everyone.

1 John 3:1 – “Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.”

Feature image courtesy Picture Bliss Photography.

How I Sabotaged Myself & Made a Bad Evening WORSE

January 7, 2016

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It was Elijah’s first day back to kindergarten after his winter break. It meant we all had to get back into our normal routines, readjusting from our more laid-back holiday schedule.

While we did try to get the boys to bed on time at least the few days leading up to Tuesday, I myself hadn’t gotten much sleep the last couple of nights. Part of it was because of a cold I’m getting over and part of it was staying up to read before going to sleep to help my busy, multi-tasking, always-thinking mind to settle down. As a result, I was operating with a sleep-deficit.

However, the early morning went well enough, despite the 16-degree temperature we faced in taking Elijah to school. Actually, most of the day went fairly well. Josiah helped me gather and start the laundry and then stayed busy with his newly-made play-dough while I worked on the dishes. He even went down for his afternoon nap easily enough, and by the time we picked up Elijah, I was pleased with how well our day was progressing. Sure, I hadn’t gotten to finish cleaning a few of the pans in the kitchen, and I still had a load of unfolded clothes sitting in the dryer, but I was going to work on those while dinner cooked.

I had no idea what was coming, but my lack of rest was not going to help.

In about an hour or two, through a series of accidents and everyday events, my happy Tuesday would turn into the “I just want to hide and cry” chaos that my hubby came home to.

All I clearly remember is that I started working on preparing dinner (Ree Drummond’s awesome broccoli cheese soup) while the boys played nicely together in the living room. I was on my second day of a real “meal plan,” something that I’m trying to implement to help me be (and feel) more organized, so everything was going according to plan. I just needed to chop an onion, some broccoli, and some ham to get going.

I had the onions in to saute when I heard Elijah half laugh, half scream, “Josiah’s in the bathroom.”

At some point during my chopping, Josiah, who is almost 3-years-old and 90% potty-trained, pooped in his underwear and was in the bathroom trying to take his pants off just as I got to him. I put him on the potty (of course he said he didn’t need to go anymore), dealt with the mess, scolded Elijah for having laughed about it the whole time we were in the bathroom, left them playing with their blocks, and went back to dinner prep.

I was in the middle of adding milk and cream to the broccoli and onions when I heard water running in the bathroom. Since that’s never a good sign, I hurriedly put the measuring cup down, which then spilled all over the counter and the top of our gas stove. Grabbing a few paper towels, I tossed it over the mess on the counter, and then sprinted to the bathroom to find Josiah with no pants on, standing on the step stool at the sink, rinsing his underwear under the running water.

He’d pooped again! Only this time he took care of it, sort of, himself, which honestly didn’t help.

Seriously, kid? Twice in less than a half-hour? Didn’t I just put you on the potty??? And you said, “I don’t need to go potty!”

So, once Josiah was cleaned and clothed for the second time, the boys were relocated to the kitchen table so I could see them easier. I finished mopping up the spilled milk (our dog, Vinny, helped with the floor clean up), and I measured out more milk and cream.

At this point, I was pretty frustrated, but the boys didn’t seem to notice because they started that wonderful pre-dinner complaining for food and drink while they are standing 10 feet away from the pot of soup that is cooking. (Because clearly I’m not planning to feed them EVER, right?)

I stirred the soup a bit, then got them both a small drink of juice, and returned to season the soup.

Then Elijah started rifling through my huge utensil drawer, digging out the potato masher and cookie cutters, looking for stuff to use with their play-dough. It might not have been a big deal, but 1) he didn’t ask, 2) he didn’t put the other stuff back, and 3) he actually had his own tools for play-dough AT THAT TABLE already.

So, I had to leave the soup. I asked him to put the things back (probably using short, clipped phrases because I was not a happy mommy), and helped him rearrange the contents of the drawer quickly so it could be shut again.

My patience was running horribly thin.

And then I smelled the broccoli soup…scorching.

And although the boys started fighting about something while I searched for a new pan to transfer our dinner to before it was completely ruined, I ignored them because addressing them in that moment of intense frustration wouldn’t have been wise. My mind was a muddled mess, and I was shifting to running mostly on emotions, which is never good.

Then Elijah complained about the smell. I’m pretty sure I glared at him, while assuring him that the soup was fine, and he was going to eat it no matter what.

With dinner salvaged and another pan to clean later (which just added to my stress because no, I never even had a chance to touch the other pans), I finished cooking and asked the boys to start cleaning up so we could eat.

But they didn’t start to clean up. They kept playing, and I yelled at them, somewhat ferociously.

Because I was irritated with them for not obeying and for causing me more work instead of just letting me make our dinner. I was frustrated with Josiah for not telling me when he needed to go to the potty. I was annoyed with Elijah for getting in to things and for complaining about being hungry while I was obviously having a difficult time cooking. I was beyond my temper over all the difficulties I had had with a simple dinner. And I was tired.

The boys finally started picking up, and I went about cleaning up the counter, including filling my flour canister with the bag of flour I’d had to open during my early soup prep. When the canister was half-full, I readjusted my hold on the bag… and it exploded. (Actually, the bag just tore, but the effect was the same.)

I looked down at the broken flour bag, the flour-covered counter and floor, and then glanced at my flour-covered self in disbelief.

Really, God? What was going on tonight?

Behind me, Elijah started complaining…again.

The woman who turned around on that boy was not the “Mommy” he expected and definitely not the one whose attention he wanted to get.

Seeing that they still hadn’t finished putting away their stuff, I immediately took away their dessert for the night and told them that as soon as they were done with dinner, they were going to bed.

They had to go to bed because I needed to go to bed. I was exhausted in every way.

By the grace of God, I didn’t completely snap. I sent them away from me to the living room so I could calm down. And I got the vacuum so I could clean up the flour mess.

By the time Brad got home, the boys were fed, nearly ready for bed, and we were all rather down. There wasn’t a lot of joy or peacefulness in our home. It definitely wasn’t a haven. There was still a hesitant tension in the air, and it was my fault.

Accidents, both potty-related and otherwise, happen – often – especially in a house with young children. Spills, messes, and “I forgot” are an everyday occurrence around here, and honestly, I’m usually the one reminding my husband that our boys are still little, still learning.

No, we don’t want them to get away with disobedience and not being quick to do what we ask, but most of their offenses that evening weren’t bad or in that arena. Had I had a little more patience with the lesser incidents, the major trouble of not obeying could have been dealt with easier.

And many of my difficulties weren’t entirely because of them.

I spilled the milk. I neglected to turn down the burner when I left the stove. I don’t even know what happened with the flour.

We all have those days. The ones where Murphy’s Law is working overtime to make sure that absolutely everything that can go wrong, does. The ones where we should really just stop what we’re doing and pray. Pray against strife, pray against short-tempers, pray for understanding and compassion, pray for patience, peace, and wisdom.

But if I don’t use wisdom and get sleep…then I’m not rested, and I’m already physically tired as I face a crazy day. I will fail to respond properly and won’t have a balanced view of things. In those moments, I tend to react more emotionally and more selfishly. When I’m tired, my flesh is even louder, so sensing God’s nudge in those trying situations is even harder.

As we said our prayers that night, I asked for forgiveness for my harshness and impatience, both from God and from my boys.

Then I went downstairs to get ready for bed myself, and because God has a sense of humor, as I was changing my clothes, I found a large lump in my back jean pocket.

Silly putty, slipped into my pocket by my mischievous Josiah at some point during the chaotic evening and smooshed hopelessly into the fabric because I’d already sat down on it before I realized it.

*Sigh* Yep. It had been one of those days, and it was time to get some sleep.

(Some of you may remember seeing this picture on my Instagram that night.)

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Not the best evening for this mommy. After a disastrous hour or so pre-dinner (pretty sure it's turning into a blog post), I end my night by finding silly putty in my back jean pocket, compliments of Josiah. (Special shout out to the grandparents who have him that awesome stocking stuffer.) I'm calling it a night and #praying for tomorrow. #sillyputtypocket #itkindoflookslikeaface #momof2yearold #momofboys #mamasaidtheredbedayslikethis #mommyblogger

A post shared by Kishona Lape (@lifeinlapehaven) on Jan 5, 2016 at 8:22pm PST

Tried It Tuesday: Homemade Play-dough

January 5, 2016

5 Comments

Life in Lape Haven: Tried It Tuesday - Homemade Play-dough. This quick, easy, and super soft and squishy playdough recipe is great for a fun indoor activity that you can put together with ingredients already in your kitchen.

Winter has finally decided to make an appearance this week in Ohio. You know, since it’s January and all.

With the weather cooling down to “cold,” yesterday I decided that the boys and I would have some fun on Elijah’s last day of winter break by making the very first thing I ever tried after I discovered Pinterest.

I’m sure you all remember your first Pinterest project. You either created an inspiring masterpiece that gave you the confidence to attempt another awesome Pinterest DIY or copycat recipe soon after, or you tragically face-planted with an epic Pinterest fail that may or may not have been featured on one of those “Nailed It” memes that make the rounds on Facebook.

Thankfully, my first Pinterest-inspired activity was a huge success, not only because it was easy and turned out as expected, but also because Elijah loved it. It’s been one that we’ve come back to often.

Like yesterday.

Hello, again, homemade play-dough (or playdough, however you want to space it). 🙂

Yep. Play-dough cemented my Pinterest love.

Elijah found that play-dough also cements itself when a little boy leaves it out overnight, but thankfully this homemade dough is easy and inexpensive enough to make (all the ingredients are already in your kitchen) that I can just toss it when it gets forgotten and dried out or when someone steps on it on the floor. Because you know some of it WILL end up on the floor.

(Honestly, I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with all makes and brands of play-dough because while it’s fun and we all love it, it can create quite a mess, or rather the children playing with it can. Fortunately, this dough cleans up pretty easily.)

We’ve made several batches with this recipe over the last few years. We’ve even given it away as part of Christmas presents to my nephews one year.

When I told Elijah yesterday that we would be making more, he was so excited that he ran across the room and gave me a giant, dramatic hug.

While I planned to make it in the afternoon, we HAD to do a bit of grocery shopping despite the cold, so we ended up putting our play-dough together right before dinner.

This actually worked out rather well. They each got to help dump in the ingredients and stir up their own batch, and then once the boys each had their dough, they were happily entertained at the kitchen table, leaving me alone to cook dinner.

Perfect.

So, whether you need an easy indoor boredom buster, or just want a few moments of peace, this quick homemade play-dough recipe from How Does She? is a great solution.

For outdoor fun, when it’s not so cold, you can also try one of our other favorites: Homemade Sidewalk Paint.

I really do love Pinterest. You can follow me and keep up with all the fun, helpful, yummy, and/or insightful things I find.