Tag - Family

Trusting God through Kindergarten: A look back at my son’s first year of school

May 27, 2016

It seems like only yesterday that Elijah graduated from kindergarten.

Remembering how emotional I felt sending my little guy off to school for the very first time back in August, it was amazing to look back over the year, and see how much Elijah has grown and how God has been with him (and me) every step of the way.

Not only did Elijah flourish in a classroom environment, largely thanks to a wonderful teacher who encouraged his nonstop creativity and insatiable curiosity, but he continually shared the love of God to those around him. Many people have wondered at our decision to send our child to public school to begin with, but from early on, God showed Himself faithful in keeping Elijah, and Elijah’s young faith gave him a boldness to proclaim Jesus in numerous ways throughout the year.

From dealing with the class “bully” with prayer and compassion (he watched out for her, encouraged her, and prayed for her all year long) to inviting his teacher to church (she came), to spending a recess, on his own initiative, praying on the playground, to talking to his friends about Jesus, Elijah used his time in school to learn…and to teach, reminding me (and others) of the power of simply living out our faith daily.

One of the most fascinating ways I could see this is through one of the coolest things his kindergarten teacher did with the kids over the year: a daily journal. It’s amazing to journey through the pages, seeing how his handwriting and writing improved, how well his vocabulary grew, and how good he became at expressing himself, both with words and pictures. It also gave us a glimpse into what he was thinking about during his days. It is a precious treasure full of childlike randomness, humor, and sweetness.

A lot of his early entries are just random words he was learning, but he incorporated a lot about “Mom,” “Dad,” and “Josiah” from the get-go. Not long into the year, though, he has the sentence “Jesus loves me and Mom,” with a picture of one giant stick figure with a huge heart and two smaller stick people – Jesus, Mom, and Elijah (haha – sorry to my husband!).

It was nothing flashy or meant to get attention. It was just him sharing what he knew and what he was thinking about that day. Later he also shared “I am in the Bible” (as in the Prophet Elijah, his favorite Bible story for obvious reasons), and later, “Quiz: Who is the baddest in the world? Devil!” (Haha.)

Of course, he had less “spiritual” entries to balance it out. There was “I love Mom # (hashtag). I love Dad # (hashtag)” (too much watching Mommy post on social media), and “I see a squirrel eating my head” (complete with a picture of a giant squirrel with teeth, chomping on a stickman’s head), and lots of references to various video games, Charlie Brown, and Star Wars. So, yeah, he was still very much a 5-year-old boy, a 5-year-old boy who loves Jesus, but a 5-year-old boy.

As part of his end-of-the-year thank you gift for his teacher, Elijah decided to draw a picture of everyone in his kindergarten class for her on a piece of posterboard. Since Elijah is the creative type, he knew how he wanted to do it, and he only took a little direction from me when I helped him make sure he had a list of all the kids in his class and room to draw them, so that no one was left off accidentally. He spent three evenings working on his drawings, writing each person’s name with their stick person. He’d sprawl out on the kitchen floor with his pencil, markers, and list of names while I worked on dishes and dinner.

On the second night of work, I turned around to see him coloring a huge cross off to the side of the page, and I asked him,

“What’s that?”

He glanced up, then kept coloring, “That’s for God,” he answered as he wrote the letters G-O-D along the cross.

“I thought you were drawing the people in your class,” I questioned, thinking he was just getting bored with the huge task of drawing 24 different kids and getting a little off-task.

His answer was perfect: “Well, God IS in my class.”

I smiled at him and agreed, “Yeah, you’re right. He is. He’s the most important person in that classroom.”

Watching him draw out a picture of God and then Jesus on his classroom poster, I was overwhelmed, realizing that this little boy – he gets it. Deep down and boldly out loud, he knows that God is with him, that God loves him and everyone else, that God wants him to love everyone else, that God is his source and hope, and that God answers prayer.

And while some of his outspokenness and confidence comes from his personality, it is nice to see, over and over again, that what we’re teaching him at home through devotionals, Bible stories and songs, and trying to model for him through our every day lives, is solidifying his foundation in Christ. What he’s receiving every Sunday in Children’s Church from his Children’s Pastors and teachers and throughout the week from being around all of his grandparents and family is strengthening and growing his faith.

It makes me think of the scriptures in Ephesians 4,

“And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ.” (Ephesians 4:11-13)

I don’t know what calling God has for Elijah as he grows, but Elijah is already letting God use him. It’s a good thing we’ve all been working together to equip this little saint because he was doing the work of ministry in his own childlike way from his kindergarten classroom.

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On Our 8th Wedding Anniversary

May 24, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven: On Our 8th Wedding Anniversary. After eight years of marriage, I don't remember all the details from our wedding. But that's okay because we are focused on making our marriage unforgettable.

When it comes to their wedding, some people would say, “Oh, I remember it like it was yesterday.” Well, Brad and I are celebrating our 8^th wedding anniversary today, and I can honestly say that I remember….most of it and some of it. (Some days I don’t even know if I could remember YESTERDAY like it was yesterday…but that’s probably because of our children. Haha.)

Even though it was a beautiful day, I really only remember certain bits and pieces of my wedding day, such as not being 100-percent happy with my final hair and makeup, but knowing that I didn’t want to worry about it enough to be make us start the ceremony late. I remember hanging around in the back rooms of my grandparents’ church with all of our wedding party, parents, and grandparents while we waited for the moment we were all to take our places. I remember not being able to look up much as I walked down the aisle toward Brad because I was doing my best not to cry (happy tears). I remember prompting my dad with the order of the ceremony because he was a little emotional himself as he officiated his daughter’s wedding (He almost passed over the kiss! Haha.) I remember that even though things didn’t go flawlessly (our caterer was late to the reception, for one), it was still perfect enough to us.

While I know that we chose to use the traditional wedding vows, I don’t really remember that specific moment. Thankfully, being the romantic girl that I am, I pretty much had those words memorized long before the day I spoke them to Brad.

“I, Kishona, take you, Brad, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”

Over the past eight years, we have enjoyed more “better,” “richer,” and “in health” than the opposite, but we have had enough moments of “worse,” “poorer,” and “sickness” to test those promises. Because, let’s be honest, it’s easy to thrive in your marriage when things are easy, good, and happy. It’s what all the fairy tales are made of, right?

But real life is found in the struggle of the difficult moments, and growth in your relationship only comes through facing the challenges together.

Looking back, I can see that Brad and I have done rather well in working together rather than against each other, even when we didn’t agree on things. However, that’s not to say we are either one perfect or that we, as a couple, have it all together.

I think what we do have is a single focus: glorifying God through our life together. It’s not about me, and it’s not about Brad, and it’s not even about “us.” We believe that God brought us together because we can serve Him better together. Our marriage is about Him.

Even though so many weddings use 1 Corinthians 13 as one of their readings or sermon points, I really think that a different scripture sums up marriage even better:

“So He answered and said, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,’ and ‘your neighbor as yourself.’” (Luke 10:27)

Loving God with all you are will make you the spouse you need to be, one capable of loving your spouse, the closest “neighbor” you’ll have, as yourself.

Not long before Brad and I got married, I read a quote that said something like this, “Marriage is your lifelong ministry to one person.”

Having seen that modeled in my parents’ marriage, it wasn’t a foreign concept, but it gave me the right perspective as Brad and I started on our adventure together.

My purpose as his wife is to encourage him in his walk in the Lord, love him sacrificially, consider him before myself, support him in his goals and dreams, speak the truth in love, pray for him, appreciate him, and respect him. And his purpose is to do the same for me. Oh, and to tell me that I’m pretty. 🙂 (It’s kind of funny because if you were to ask us who the most giving person was in our marriage, we would both say the other person, so that works out nicely.)

Over time, memories of our wedding day will probably grow a little dimmer still, but with our commitment to God and each other, we’ll make sure our marriage will be unforgettable.

I love you, Bradley! 🙂 Happy anniversary!

5 Everyday Moments That Make Being a Mom Totally Worth It

May 2, 2016

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5 Everyday Moments That Make Being a Mom Totally Worth It, Life in Lape Haven. Being a parent is hard, and some days are difficult. However, even on the roughest days, there are moments that can remind us of how wonderful it is to be a mom or dad and how precious our children are to us.

As a mom, I know that some days, parenting is just hard. Children can be demanding, cranky, destructive (usually accidentally), disobedient, whiny, messy, and just exhausting. However, I have found that even on those really rough days, there are still moments sprinkled throughout the chaos that remind me that my children are truly gifts from God and being a mom really is worth it.

Here are five of my favorite everyday moments that make being a mother the best calling ever.

1. Cuddles and Snuggles:

My boys are all pretty affectionate little guys, and they love cuddles and snuggles. Whether it’s climbing into bed with Mommy and Daddy on Saturday morning (so much sweeter when they wait until after 8 am!), or just scooting up really close to us on the couch, our boys are cuddlers. They want to be with us.

Josiah likes to sit beside me as I’m typing or editing pictures, laying his little hand on my lower arm and his head against my upper arm, and just watch me. Elijah’s tall enough now that he can almost rest his head on my shoulder. Even the most frustrating days can be softened when they are being sweet and tender like that.

2. Giggles:

No matter how bad a day is, my boys will be laughing at some point, those deep-belly giggles that are impossible to resist. They can be fighting and arguing with each other one minute, then laughing with each other the next. And their joy is contagious. Of course, it’s even better when I get to be the one to bring out the giggles in them with silliness and tickles and fun. Laughter is a beautiful remedy for discouragement and exhaustion (I laugh even easier when I’m tired. Haha!) After all, the Bible tell us, “A merry heart does good, like medicine.” (Proverbs 17:22)

3. Unexpected Hugs & Kisses:

Having mentioned our boys’ affectionate natures, is it any surprise that I get treated to random hugs and kisses throughout my day? Josiah’s thing is to give me “all the hugs in the world,” which is basically a really tight, prolonged clinging sort of hug. Even though he will have moments when he doesn’t want ME to give HIM hugs or kisses, he loves to surprise me with them.

Elijah, however, has never rejected a hug that I can remember. He’ll give me a “good morning hug,” a hug before and after school, and hugs “just because” throughout the day, but his specialty is his bedtime hug, where he basically lets you think you’re just leaning down for one last kiss before he goes to sleep, and he’ll latch on, both arms around your neck, and keep you there. (And giggle.) He’s surprisingly strong for his age. He’s also the most likely to come up and give Mom random kisses on the cheek.

4. “I love you, Mommy”:

I don’t know if there is anything more encouraging or refreshing on a difficult day than when your child looks you in the eyes and sweetly and sincerely tells you, “I love you, Mommy.” Even if they are echoing your words with an “I love you, too,” it has a way of refocusing you to how blessed you are to be the mother of that child (yes, that one, the one who just a few minutes ago flushed his training underwear down the toilet – true story. Or that one, who is so driven to create that he keeps ransacking the kitchen junk drawer and recycle bin, even when he’s been told not to, to “make something,” leaving crazy messes and empty tape dispensers in his wake.)

I also cherish their unique compliments of “You look like a princess, Mommy,” or “I like how your hair feels, Mom.”

5. Watching My Babies Sleep:

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.” And when the child isn’t being so lovely, oooh – naptime and bedtime can’t come soon enough! However, even when my kids have been driving me crazy, it’s amazing how precious it is to rock them to sleep and hold them close to you and study their sweet faces.

Of course, Elijah’s a bit too big to rock anymore, but he still melts my heart when I go in to check on him before I go to bed each night. Both he and Josiah usually require an adjustment of their blankets here or a tucking in there, with Josiah sometimes needing to be completely rearranged so he doesn’t fall off his bed (how he moves so much without being awake is rather puzzling). Those last-minute checks, with a whispered little prayer over them, are the perfect way to end even the hardest days.

There are many other little moments that I could mention (When Josiah takes my hand tightly to walk beside me; when Elijah’s sense of humor shines through, and he makes a really witty comment; the boys’ faces when they accomplish something they didn’t think they could, when they are loving and sweet to each other; listening to my boys when they pray and watching their personal relationship with and faith in God grow). I generally get to experience those each and every day with my children.

When I take the time to notice and appreciate those many special moments, how can any day be all that bad?

WHAT EVERYDAY MOMENTS WITH YOUR CHILDREN ENCOURAGE YOU AS A MOM OR DAD?

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Let Me Be Singing: This Mother’s Anthem for Good & Bad Days

April 21, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven: Let Me Be Singing: This Mother's Anthem for Good and Bad Days. As parents we have great days and rough days, but we never have to face them alone. We can rely on God's strength and find our joy in Him . This popular Christian worship song by Matt Redman has become my anthem and heart-cry, especially for those rough days. I want to be singing when the evening comes.

When I was in the thick of adjusting from being mommy of just one child to mommy of two children, there were some rough days. Not only was Josiah doing his newborn best to get us up as much as possible every night, but Elijah was showing his three-ness with a vengeance.

On those days, I struggled with holding onto the joy of being a mother, and it felt as though all that was left was the chaos. I would feel guilty and inadequate and overwhelmed. It wasn’t how I wanted to feel. I wanted to be able to find the good, like Pollyanna, and choose to be joyful, even when I was tired.

Around this time, I remember one Sunday when we were singing Matt Redman’s “10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord),” and it was as though the song was written as my own personal anthem, especially the first verse.

“The sun comes up, it’s a new day dawning
It’s time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes.”

Every morning I would rise with great intentions to have a better day than the one before, to face “whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me” with a determination to still “be singing when the evening comes.” I didn’t want to end every day defeated and beat down. But when your alarm clock is a baby crying or a toddler’s whining, you can feel drained before you even get out of bed.

But, lo and behold! The answer is in the chorus of the same song:

“Bless the Lord, O my soul, O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before, O my soul
I’ll worship Your holy name”

It was a reminder that, yes, we can choose to bless the Lord in everything. We can encourage ourselves in the Lord like David did (1 Samuel 30:6). We don’t have to let the frustrations overwhelm us. We can look to Him.

I think I get most overwhelmed and frustrated when I feel as though I have to do it all, and do it all myself. I’m the mom. When it’s just my boys and me at home, I’m the lone adult – I fix the food, I change the diapers, I soothe the crankies, I clean the messes, I enforce the rules. Sometimes those things are not easy or joyful.

Plus, I know that no matter how awesome of a super mom I am, I am not enough on my own. Moms, Dads – we’re not enough, despite what some cutesy, well-intentioned memes or inspirational quotes tell us. On my own, alone, I will never be enough for my children. I can’t be.

And yet, WITH God…well, all things are possible.

I don’t HAVE to do it all on my own or alone.

If the first verse is the cry of my heart, and the chorus is the reminder of “from whence cometh my help,” then the second verse is the reassurance that God has me (and my children) in His hands, and that’s a beautiful place to be.

“You’re rich in love, and You’re slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find”

Since God has given me my children, He has equipped me to parent them, and when I rely on Him, then His joy can be my strength on the good days and the rough ones. He loves us all richly, and He is patient and kind. He’s forgiving when I make mistakes in parenting my boys, and He’s there to guide me and help me do it right. He gives me wisdom when I have no idea what I’m doing, and He helps me see the humor in so many of their innocent, but disastrous messes.

It’s not just looking for the good, but looking to His goodness, that will have me still “singing when the evening comes.”

Confessions of a Preacher’s Kid: #4 – True Ministry Isn’t Easy or Glamorous

April 11, 2016

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Confessions of a Preacher's Kid: #4 - True ministry isn't easy or glamorous. Having grown up as a pastor's kid, I saw what it meant to really minister and pastor. It isn't an easy or glamorous path, but it's a rewarding one.

Recently I’ve been giving you a behind-the-scenes peek at what growing up as a preacher’s kid was like and how that has shaped me, my faith, and my parenting. If you’ve missed my first three confessions, you can catch up easily (Confession #1, Confession #2, Confession #3).

TODAY’S CONFESSION:

True Ministry ISN’T Easy or Glamorous

Growing up in a pastor’s family, I understood from an early age that ministry – true ministry – wasn’t an easy or glamorous path.

Sure, there were the infamous televangelists with glittering sets, personal planes, and hair that was way too big, who made it seem as though being a preacher was kind of like being a celebrity. But that idea is as false as Tammy Faye’s eyelashes. 😉

Watching my parents’ lives, I knew the truth.

Shepherding a flock, leading God’s people, and following His call isn’t easy. In fact, when my dad first felt called to ministry as a young man, an experienced man of God told him, “If you can do anything else, do that.”

Because he knew that ministry and pastoring aren’t for the faint of heart. They’re for those with a servant’s heart.

My parents have served wherever God has led them because they couldn’t “do anything else.”

When I was first born, that meant living in a small apartment in Alabama where the only furniture initially was my baby bed and a cot for my older brother. Later, God’s path took us to Florida, Ohio, West Virginia, and Georgia, and no matter what “position” of leadership my parents ministered from, it was never about them.

God, need me to lead junior high kids? Really?!? Okay.

Need me to play piano as the back-up? Here I am.

Need me to lead praise & worship? Alright.

Need us to reach out to this hurting couple and counsel them? Our home is open.

Need us to start a church over there? We’ll go.

Need us to minister to children and families in THAT part of town? We can love them!

Need us to forgive and keep giving when we’ve been hurt? It’s hard, but our focus is YOU. (Help us.)

Being in ministry, leading, especially pastoring, means putting yourself to the side, “not my will, but Yours be done.”

It means calls on the phone or knocks at your door at all hours of the day from a person or family in crisis or hours in the hospital with the sick or dying. It’s conducting funerals and visiting prisoners. It means being a part of the church but still being slightly set apart (similar to parenting – you can’t always aim for “best friend” when you need to be the leader). It’s being the “watchman on the tower,” speaking the hard truths that some never want to hear. It’s dealing with petty squabbles or huge divisions in a congregation. It means pouring, and pouring, and pouring into someone only to have them turn their back on God and you. It’s protecting your sheep from the wolves and doing spiritual warfare on their behalf. It’s loving people deeply, no matter what.

It’s hours on your knees, in His presence, seeking His face, praying for direction and leading because your responsibility is not just a big one, it’s an eternal one.

But it’s not a responsibility without joys and rewards. God is kind of good like that. 🙂

Allowing God to use you in ministry means seeing a person’s life changed and made new when they put their trust in Jesus. It’s baptizing new believers, counseling engaged couples, officiating weddings, and dedicating babies. It’s seeing God move through His people as they grow in Him. It’s feeling like a proud parent when the congregation begins to serve and minister, too, and as a body you reach your community with Jesus’s love. It’s being surrounded by the Holy Spirit’s comfort and guidance, knowing you can rely on God to never fail you, to give you the right words and actions just when you need them, and to supply every need you may have. It’s trusting His strength in your weakness.

It’s feeling humbled and amazed that God would choose to work through you.

And while some might think that these lists apply mostly to my dad since he was the “pastor,” there is no separating my parents in this (or other pastor and wife teams that I’ve known). They are one, and God has used them as such. (My dad learned early on not to discount how God could use my mother). I promise you, from personal experience, they minister most powerfully and effectively when they are side-by-side. It’s kind of a beautiful thing to witness.

I’m glad I’ve had that unique opportunity all of my life. You know, being the preacher’s kid and all. 🙂

My family when I was about 5. Don’t we look all 80s glamorous?

I’d like to challenge you, my readers, in two things based on not only my experiences as a PK but also my own experiences in ministry, both by myself and with my husband.

Number 1: PRAY for your pastor and leaders. LOVE them. They aren’t perfect, but trust me, they love you and pray for you.

Number 2: Don’t expect them to be the only “ministers” in your church. God has given you talents, abilities, experiences with Him, and a purpose in Him. You have a part in sharing Jesus with the world. You make contact with people every day that your pastor may never meet. Get to “going” per the Great Commission – speak with your neighbors, reach out in your community, volunteer in the nursery or children’s ministry, mentor and disciple a teen, encourage your fellow church members, go on a mission trip, give, pray, love.

Even though ministry (even in the smallest stages) has its potential sacrifices, problems, and hurts, the joys, rewards, and satisfaction of knowing you’ve been obedient to God’s call on YOUR life far, far outweigh them.

“And He sat down, called the twelve, and said to them, “If anyone desires to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all.”~ Mark 9:35

“He said to him the third time, ‘Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?’ Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, ‘Do you love Me?’ And he said to Him, ‘Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed My sheep.’” ~ John 21:17

“And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ— from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.” ~ Ephesians 4:11-16

Tried It Tuesday: My Kids’ New Favorite Board Game

April 5, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven - Tried It Tuesday: My Kids' New Favorite Board Game. With all the gifts my son received for his birthday, I didn't expect this simple, but cute, board game to be his new favorite game to play. Our whole family enjoys this award-winning game.

This post contains an affiliate link, which means at no additional cost to you, I may receive a small commission when you make a purchase through the link.

With Josiah’s recent birthday, he has had an influx of new toys, clothes, and games to enjoy.

Of all the things he received for his birthday, there is one thing that both he and Elijah have been playing with more than any other: The Sneaky Snacky Squirrel Game.

I could claim all kinds of “awesome parent” points for this since it was from Mommy & Daddy, and I picked out the game… except that with Easter and birthday party prep, I kind of overlooked getting him a present until a couple days before his birthday. (Brad and I have been considering getting the boys a swing set or playset for our yard, but we hadn’t found one yet, so we kept putting off getting Josiah’s birthday gifts, just in case we came across a swing set before his birthday.)

Thankfully, my instincts were good on this one. I knew I had seen comments about how much families liked this award-winning game, so I figured it would be worth a try. Besides, we (read: Mommy) can only play so many games of Candyland.

The boys even played this game in their blanket fort.

From the minute we opened the box, the boys were intrigued (and fighting over the adorable “squirrel squeezer”). With their little tree trunks in front of them, they barely let me read over the very easy directions before they started trying to play.

It’s a really simple game with a spinner, acorns in five different colors, tree trunks for “stashing” your acorns, and the aforementioned cute little squirrel squeezer that you use to pick up the acorns. The object of the game is to collect all 5 colors of acorns before anyone else, but you have to watch out for obstacles on the spinner that slow you down: the Sad Squirrel that causes you to lose your turn and the wind storm that blows all your acorns back to the main tree.

Without a doubt, our boys’ favorite thing to land on is the Sneaky Squirrel because then they get to steal an acorn from someone else. They are positively delighted to get to be so mischievous. Of course, they don’t really enjoy it when someone else steals their acorn, so it’s been a great game for teaching them to be a good sport.

That first day we played several rounds of the game, and we’ve played it nearly every day since. They played it with their grandparents, and Josiah even took it over to his cousins’ house this past week to introduce them to the fun. Watching the four boys play it together was hilarious and precious. They all loved the sense of accomplishment when they managed to collect all their acorns and win a game.

As a parent, I appreciate the simplicity of the game, which makes it easy for my 3-year-old to play without help, while not being too young for my 5-year-old (or Brad and I) to have fun. The game is designed to help encourage color identification, as well as matching, sorting, strategic thinking, hand-eye coordination, fine motor skills and pre-handwriting skills, and I can already see improvement for Josiah in some of those areas.

So even if it was more of a last-minute gift, it has turned out to be a great one, one that our entire family enjoys playing, and one that has easily become our boys’ new favorite board game.