Tag - parenting

4 Things that Helped Me through 2 Unmedicated “Natural” Deliveries

October 22, 2016

As I get closer to my due date for our third child (we have about 7-8 weeks to go), it’s been impossible not to look back at my previous two deliveries as I prepare to face this one. In addition, I’ve gotten lots of questions, now and ever since my first child was born, about my experiences with unmedicated “natural” deliveries (meaning vaginal, not induced, no pain medications, as “naturally” as possible, no interventions, etc.).

While every pregnancy and delivery is different, I’ve found that there are some things that seem to remain the same. So, for all you soon-to-be mamas, especially you first-timers, or you hoping-to-be mamas, here are four of the most important things that helped me through my two deliveries.

Disclaimer: I know that as mothers, we have plenty of choices to make when it comes to labor and delivery, and not everyone chooses the same things. This post is not about one delivery method or choice being better than another. It’s just about how I handled my deliveries, and what I’ve learned through the process. However, I think these can apply to any labor and delivery situation.

1. Educate & Inform Yourself

When you’re a first-time mom, you have a lot to learn, and that’s fine. You’ve never been here before. Accept that challenge, and do your best to educate and inform yourself about this new chapter in life.

I think one of the most important and empowering things for me as a brand new mom-to-be was going into the delivery room with some knowledge of what was going on, what should happen, what could happen, and what my options would be.

I knew that I was by no means as educated or experienced as my doctor or nurses, so it was important that I trusted them for the big things. I also didn’t go overboard with learning or researching to the point of making myself fearful of every worst case scenario, but neither did I want to be completely clueless.

One of the most helpful resources for me came along before I was even pregnant. Early in our marriage, Brad and I just happened to come across the movie, “The Business of Being Born” on TV one night, and we watched it together. While at first it made me a little nervous about EVER having a baby, it gave me enough information on what God had created my body to do, what my expectations of labor and delivery should be, how medical interventions affected the process, and allowed me to see that I could have a say, to an extent, in how my babies entered the world.

Once I was pregnant with Elijah, I read a couple of pregnancy and baby books, including the cliché “What to Expect” books, usually week by week as my baby developed, and I subscribed to a couple of different websites geared toward mommies-to-be.

Brad and I also attended a one-day birthing class hosted by our hospital, as well as took the hospital tour once I reached my third trimester.

From all I had learned from researching and conversations with other mothers, I decided to, and was prepared to, deliver my baby without pain medications and as naturally as possible. Since Brad had shared in my learning, he knew why I made that choice, and he was 100 percent on board.

Oh, and one thing that I wish I had learned about before Elijah’s birth: perineal massage. That would have been helpful.

Actually, I saw a brief note about it about two weeks before he was due, but didn’t think much about it. However, Elijah’s head is larger than average, and unfortunately for me, that meant he got a little…um…stuck during delivery. It was only at that point that the doctor, who was not my regular OB/GYN, asked me if I’d done any perineal massage. No one had mentioned it to me at any time before, not even my doctor, so – no I hadn’t. And I ended up with a tear and stitches in places a lady should never have stitches, which made my recovery much more difficult.

And I KNOW the difference in recovery because, having learned my lesson with Elijah, I planned ahead, followed the instructions I found online, and was better prepared for Josiah’s arrival. Without the tearing and stitches, I bounced back amazingly easily after he was born.

So, yes, educating yourself and being informed is important. (See end of the post for additional resources)

2. Your Support Team & Good Nurses are Vital, but God Is Your Biggest Support

Another important detail on your delivery day is who will be surrounding you as you face labor and birth. You want people who will be your advocates, encouragers, and help you stay calm and as stress-free as possible. What you don’t want are people who question you on everything, give you too much sympathy, or make you feel weak or incapable. (You need to be a strong, confident warrior-mommy.)

For me it has always been my husband and my mother, one as my cheerleader and the other as my coach. (I’ve often said that my mom would make an excellent doula.) Both Brad and Mom were supportive of my desire to deliver as naturally as possible, and they did everything they could to help me in that. I know that I could not have made it through either boy’s delivery nearly as well without them both. (You can read a bit more about it in “8 of My Favorite Things about Being Pregnant“)

In addition, I’ve always been blessed with wonderful nurses at the hospital where I deliver. During Elijah’s delivery, especially, when I had a doctor who was less than confident in my abilities and my determination to deliver without pain meds, it was imperative that I had supportive, helpful, kind nurses who weren’t condescending to me or my wish for a natural birth. One nurse in particular was amazing in how she helped me with my breathing through the worst of the final stages of labor.

However, despite being surrounded by a strong support team, there does come a point in delivery where it truly is just you and God bringing your baby into the world. He is the only One who knows that baby as well as you – better even. From the start of my pregnancies, we’d prayed for His presence and His hand on our babies, so when it came to the actual delivery, where else did I expect Him to be but with me? For me, delivering my children was a chance to trust God and rely on Him in way I’d never done before.

So many times during contractions, I would pray and just focus on Him or hear a praise song in my head that would encourage me and remind me that I could do all things because God would give me the strength. Since He designed my body to carry and delivery babies, and He gave us this child, I could trust Him, more than anyone else, to help me through it.

3. It’s Only Pain

Yes. Labor hurts. It hurts, hurts, HURTS! And it’s work. It’s not fun. There is NO denying that. And making the choice to go without pain medication at all meant that I felt every bit of pain that labor and delivery could bring me from start to finish. It was part of my expectation (and yes, dread) of the day. You have to plan for and expect the pain. It’s going to be there.

However, it is pain with a purpose, a pain that will eventually pass, and a pain that ends with a precious baby. That’s what I reminded myself of as the contractions got intense.

And God has been gracious to us women, even in childbirth, in that as the pain builds, so does your tolerance. You may even doze between contractions at some point. You kind of get used to the pain, and then it increases. Then you get used to coping with that, and so on, until you think you can’t handle anymore. And then it’s time to push (OUCH!), and that pain motivates you to do whatever you need to to help that baby out. (Haha!)

There are so many ways to cope with the pain, but the biggest one is to remain calm, relax, and breathe. My deliveries were not marked by the crazy, overly dramatic moments seen on television shows or in movies – no flailing, screaming, or beating my husband.

In fact, with our first son’s birth, I was so calm when it was time to go to the hospital that my silly hubby didn’t believe I was actually ready to have the baby. In the car, he called his parents to let them know we were headed to the hospital, and he seriously told them, “Well, we’re going in, but I don’t think this is it.” (Okay, I MAY have smacked him THEN! After being up since 2am with contractions that increased throughout the day and were consistent with what the doctor said they should be, I KNEW that baby was coming that night.) Brad has since learned not to doubt me. 🙂

I also often reminded myself that if Abraham’s wife, Sarah, in the Bible, could be in her nineties and deliver a baby in the desert, I could certainly do it in my thirties and in a hospital with modern conveniences.

4. Flexibility Is Key

You have to go into your delivery knowing that there is a chance you’ll need to be flexible. Not so much physically flexible (although that might be helpful), but rather being ready to adjust your plans, vision, or expectations of what your birth experience will be.

Even though my births went fairly according to the book, we did have to make some adjustments even to how I coped with the pain (not every method works in every situation) or how we moved the delivery along (I did have to have them break my water with both deliveries, even though I waited as long as possible).

Clearly, I didn’t want stitches with Elijah. That was NOT in my birth plan. But it happened.

With Josiah, I experienced the “labor shakes,” something I’d never heard of until, yep, I was experiencing it. It was not pleasant and not ideal. Not being able to move around more – I like to be walking or up as much as possible – or control my breathing as well because my body was literally shaking from my feet clear up through my chest, made laboring much more difficult, and it was frustrating.

If you want to deliver your child without pain medication, know that it IS possible. It’s totally doable. You CAN do it, even when you have to adjust some things. Of course, if things come up, and everything changes on your plan, that’s okay, too. Do what’s best for you and the baby – always.

We had only minor adjustments, but they didn’t change the fact that my boys arrived safely and healthy, which was the most important part of our plan.

So there you go. That’s how I delivered two beautiful babies as naturally as possible and completely medication-free: being educated, surrounding myself with supportive people, expecting and planning for the pain, and being flexible.

It’s how I plan to bring this third little guy into the world soon. 🙂

While I haven’t gone through my third labor yet, here’s what’s been the best thing for helping me through this third pregnancy and all it’s discomforts.

UPDATE: Want to know how my third labor went? Here’s Isaiah’s birth story – It was a birth story that didn’t quite go according to my plan.

Since I recommend being educated as part of your labor and delivery preparation, I asked a community of online moms for the best resources for a mom wanting an unmedicated, natural birth experience. Below are some of their most popular answers. (Some of the links below may be affiliate links, which mean that at no additional cost to you, I may receive a small commission when you use the links.)

Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin (Ina May is one of the midwives featured on the above-mentioned documentary, “The Business of Being Born.”)

Husband-Coached Childbirth: The Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth by Robert Bradley, MD.

Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon

BradleyBirth.com (You can find local Bradley method birthing classes)

Redeeming Childbirth: Experiencing His Presence in Pregnancy, Labor, Childbirth, and Beyond by Angie Tolpin, plus RedeemingChildbirth.com (has free resources) and CourageousMom.com

The Birth Book: Everything You Need to Know to Have a Safe and Satisfying Birth by William Sears, MD, and Martha Sears, RN

BirthBootCamp.com

Birth Without Fear Facebook community

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE:

Welcoming Isaiah: A Birth Story that Didn’t Quite Follow My Birth Plan

5 Tips & Tricks I’ve Learned with My 3rd Baby That I Wish I’d Known With My First

10 Items That Helped Us Adjust to Life with a New Baby

3 Things I Know About Becoming a Mother

September 21, 2016

5 Comments

Life in Lape Haven: 3 Things I Know about Becoming a Mother. With all the parents-wanting-to-be swooning over my baby belly lately, I find that there are a few things I want them to know about what it means to become a mommy or a daddy.

Counting from when I first became pregnant with Elijah, I’ve been a mother for over seven years. Looking back at the starry-eyed mommy-wanting-to-be that I was when we were first preparing to start our family, I don’t think I realized how much I would change or all that I would learn once I became a mother.

I’ve been reminded of my own eager mommy naiveté lately, as young female friends, family, and even strangers swoon over my baby belly with their own hopes and dreams of becoming mommies someday. I find myself smiling at their innocence with a “you have no idea” knowing that only comes from experience. I remember well that “Oh, babies are so precious,” and “children are so fun” mindset that painted motherhood and parenting as idealistically as a newborn diaper commercial. Not that babies and children aren’t precious and fun, but parenting isn’t all sweet things and blissful days and nights.

So from my seven years of mothering, here are three things I know about what it means to become a mother. (And most of this applies to becoming a daddy, too, but since I’m a mom, that’s where I write from.)

#1. YOU WILL CHANGE FROM HEAD TO TOE, INSIDE AND OUT

From the moment those two little pink lines show up on the pregnancy test (and even before then), you begin changing, and you’ll never be the same again. Everyone realizes that a pregnant woman’s body changes in multiple ways, and despite our current culture’s pressure for moms to just snap right back to their pre-baby selves, it really isn’t realistic (or fair or necessary). Sure you can lose the extra weight, especially when you breastfeed, and you can exercise and tone up, but it will, and should, take some time. Plus there will still be areas of your body that are changed forever, even if others never see the evidence.

And the physical changes are actually the least drastic of them all.

Yes, mommies-wanting-to-be, there are more dramatic adjustments once you have a child than stretchmarks and maybe a belly pooch.

Motherhood changes EVERYTHING – physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, socially, and financially.

Think you’ve loved someone before? It won’t compare to when you hold that baby for the first time (or even feel his first kicks in your belly). Ever been frustrated? Try going up against a strong-willed toddler in the epic parenting face-offs known at “potty training” or “naptime.” Been proud of someone? Just wait until your mini-me digs deep and determinedly learns to tie her shoes or ride a bike or starts to read or shows compassion and generosity toward others.

And before you have children, let’s face it – You pretty much think about yourself and what you need. Yes, marriage is good at teaching you to put someone else first, and hopefully you consider your spouse’s needs and sacrifice for them. However, from your first seconds of parenthood (and on for basically the rest of your life), so many decisions and choices will be run through the filter of “how will this affect my child?” Don’t believe me? Everything you do when you’re pregnant will prove it – what you eat, how you care for yourself, and what you do. Once that little bundle of joy arrives, you’ll plan your days around their naps or feedings or both (maybe not precisely, but at least roughly), you’ll make grocery lists based on what your preschooler will actually eat this week, and you’ll pick where you live with consideration of the schools in the area.

Every major decision you make will also be even more a matter of prayer. Seriously, I don’t know that any area of your life will be as affected by parenting as your spiritual walk. You’ve only THOUGHT you needed wisdom before. Raising children will take you to your knees like nothing else. Patience, discernment, direction, peace – yep, you’ll need everything God can give. And trusting God hits a whole new level when you place your child in His hands.

While most people know that having children will affect you financially – they do have to eat and be clothed, after all – I’m not sure how many nonparents realize how different your social life will become once Junior is in the picture. Even beyond going out often and easily (either you are taking your children – that’s a whole new ballgame – or you’re arranging for a babysitter), unless all your friends have children or really love kids, there are going to be some that just don’t get your new situation in life. You most likely won’t have as much time or even interest in things you used to do often, and they probably won’t have the same excitement you have over your child’s latest milestones or in seeing all 557 pictures you took of your little one that morning at the park. You will be at different places in your life, and that’s okay. God has His own unique plan for each of us and our families. So be prepared to give them some grace, and do your best to keep in touch, even if you don’t spend as much time together as you used to.

#2. YOU WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH

I know. I KNOW. This isn’t what any of us want to hear. We want to think that we can rock this parenting thing if we just try hard enough, get super organized, stop comparing ourselves to other moms, embrace our own strengths, and so on. In fact, it’s kind of a thing among the mother and women’s community at large right now to loudly and repeatedly tell you that “You are enough!” There are blogs, t-shirts, memes, coffee mugs, and who knows what all else to remind you of your wonderful capabilities and awesome mom potential.

However, all of those well-meaning cheerleaders are setting you up for frustration, disappointment, and no end of discouragement because it’s simply not true.

You, in and of yourself, are not, and will never be, enough for your children. No amount of effort on your part is going to change that.

I’m not sure why we would want to fight so hard to prove we can do it by ourselves. Parenting is HARD, like, REALLY HARD.

I know I’m not the only mother who has those days when I can’t wait for my husband to get home- not because I’ve missed him or have something important to tell him, but simply because I NEED HIS HELP. I need a break from our boys, from their demands for my attention, from their fighting, from the constant giving and caring I’ve been doing since I woke up that morning. Tagging out when Brad is ready to take over can be such a relief.

In those moments, if I believed I was supposed to be enough for them, I would feel like such a complete failure.

Thankfully, I KNOW that I’m not. And I know that Brad’s not enough as their dad. Even together, amazing parents that we are :), we aren’t enough for our precious boys.

And we’re glad about that.

Why?

Because we know that God did not design parenting (or much else in life) to be something you could do independent of Him. It’s something you can only do well WHEN you rely on Him.

We are never enough, but He is ALWAYS MORE THAN ENOUGH. We will make mistakes and fail, but He is perfect and always faithful.

2 Corinthians 3:9 reminds us that His “’grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

Yes, I “can do all things,” but it’s only “through Christ who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)

Being able to seek God’s guidance, strength, PATIENCE, wisdom, and power instead of relying on my own (very weak) human strength, allows me to be the mom that God called me to be to my children.

God planned for me to be their mother, and God has gifted me with talents and abilities that I can use in that calling, but I can’t do it without Him.

And my kids need to know that, too. I’m not my children’s source. It’s not my job to be their source of joy or of peace, of safety or of health, of goodness or of salvation. They need to rely on God as much as I do. But if I’m trying to be “enough” for them on my own, how will they realize their need for Him?

#3. YOU WILL NEVER WANT TO GO BACK

Parenting is hard, and it changes everything for you, but I can promise you that even despite that, you will NEVER want to go back to life before your children.

Not seriously, anyway.

There may be days that you reminisce about how easy and carefree life was when two or three kids weren’t fighting in the background, or how awesome it was to get a full, uninterrupted night’s sleep once upon a time. But honestly, in your heart of hearts, you will never, ever want to go back to not being a parent.

And perhaps this is the part that longing-to-be-mommies and – daddies see in us that makes them swoon and sigh over our sweet new little ones, our precocious preschoolers, or our growing grade-schoolers. They see that overwhelming, straight-from-heaven love that softens the difficult days and cements the really great ones into our memories forever. They hear the pride and joy in our voices (or read it in our social media posts) when our kids do something adorable or impressive. They may not have faced the struggles of parenting yet, but they see the rewards in our relationship with our children, these amazing, inspiring, precious gifts from God.

When those young, naïve parents-wanting-to-be start talking about how awesome it will be to a mom or dad someday, I find myself smiling at their innocence with a “you have no idea” knowing that only comes from very cherished experience. 🙂

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE:

5 Everyday Moments that Make Being a Mom Totally Worth It

How I Sabotaged Myself & Made a Bad Evening Worse

Welcoming Isaiah: A Birth Story that Didn’t Quite Follow to My Birth Plan

Going “Naked” at the Water Park

5 Tips & Tricks I Learned with My 3rd Baby that I Wish I’d Known with My 1st

8 of My Favorite Things About Being Pregnant

August 13, 2016

1 Comment

Life in Lape Haven: 8 of My Favorite Things About Being Pregnant. Pregnancy can bring all sorts of discomforts and inconveniences, but there are so many wonderful parts to being pregnant. Here are 8 of my favorite!

For the last few months, this third pregnancy has had me slightly off my game more so than my other two pregnancies did. The tiredness, nausea, yucky taste, and more have been a bit of a struggle, especially with having my two boys to keep up with. Now that I’m a little more than halfway through, I’m feeling a bit better, for now (I know that the end-of-pregnancy uncomfortableness is still ahead of me).

With all the not-so-fun things that come with pregnancy, there are still so many wonderful parts of pregnancy than make up for the inconveniences and discomforts.

Here are 8 of My Favorite Things About Being Pregnant

#1. Expectant Mother Parking

Okay, this might sound silly, but I was so excited the first time I was able to pull into one of those special parking spaces. I had seen them popping up at various stores not long before I became pregnant with Elijah, and I thought that it was such a nice consideration for expectant and new mothers. I waited until I was rather obviously pregnant before taking advantage of them, so you know I was happy to have a shorter walk into the grocery store at that point.

#2. Special Consideration from Others

Similar to the expectant mother parking, it’s always nice when people are extra kind to you, and when you’re pregnant, most people are especially kind and helpful. Sure, some people might be a bit too free with their advice or invading your personal belly space, but for the most part, you are treated with a courtesy and friendliness that is often only experienced during the holiday season.

#3. Ultrasounds & the Heart Doppler

Few sounds are as beautiful as hearing your baby’s heartbeat, especially for the first time. It’s the highlight of every doctor’s appointment. That deep little “swish, swish, swish” sound is reassurance that your little one is doing well.

And while I’m not a fan of having a ton of ultrasounds while I’m pregnant, it is pretty exciting to have that visual confirmation of your baby’s growth. Seeing the profile, and yes, finding out whether you are carrying a boy or a girl, is a milestone that every mother waits for (even if you don’t want to know your baby’s sex before he/she is born).

This is how Josiah looked in utero.

#4. Feeling the Baby Kick

Even beyond the ultrasound, this is the milestone I look forward to and cherish: feeling the baby move. Trying to explain the sensation to someone who’s never been pregnant is pretty much impossible, but once you’ve experienced it, it’s something you’ll never forget. (I’ve had dreams that I was pregnant and in those dreams, I felt that baby moving…crazy.)

And, yes, as the baby gets bigger, those flutters and shoves become jabs and hard kicks and “please quit pushing on my ribs.” But even with those more powerful movements, you are bonding with your baby, learning their personality before you officially meet them.

For me, Elijah was my little ninja. He liked to kick, and kick, and kick. He also showed his stubbornness early by kicking me every time I moved to my left side, and he would continue kicking until I rolled to my right. Yep. I even warned Brad about this one.

Josiah’s style was more parkour. He flipped, kicked, and shoved constantly, and that has carried over since birth. He is our little daredevil who never walks when he can run, who climbs EVERYTHING just so he can jump off it. We’d kind of hoped he would be a bit more laid-back than Elijah, but…nope.

We’ve already been praying about this third boy. 🙂

#5. Comradery with Every Other Mother in the World

Just like you bond with your baby while you’re pregnant, being pregnant also gives you an instant bond with every other woman who has ever been pregnant or become a mother in some way. You’ll exchange stories about your experiences during the months you carried your babies and share your birth stories and the first-six-weeks-with-a-newborn stories.

Despite what we hear about “mommy wars,” I’ve found that most moms are super supportive and encouraging, and that kind of community is a wonderful thing.

#6. Deeper Appreciation for My Mother

Nothing makes you appreciate your own mom like becoming one yourself. Experiencing pregnancy, labor & delivery, and life with a little one, you can’t help but think about your mother, now that you know what she went through for you.

Thankfully, my mom and I have always had a very close relationship, and my pregnancies have only brought us closer. Not only has she been the one I go to for advice, encouragement, questions, and prayer, but my mom has been there with me through each labor and delivery. She has coached me through two un-medicated natural deliveries, knowing the pain I was feeling but helping me stay focused and determined through it all. (She’s not a professional doula, but she totally could be!) And of course, she has always been ready to help during those early weeks (and anytime, no matter our kids’ ages, actually), even if she just does dishes for us or sits with the baby while I get a nap.

#7. Deeper Appreciation for My Husband

Pregnancy and parenting aren’t easy, but it is easier when you have a supportive, on-board partner to share it with.

Most any given day, I know that I have a rather fabulous husband. He has been fabulous from day one. But I am reminded even more so of his fabulousness when I’m pregnant and once we’re in the midst of caring for a newborn.

Not only does he help with our boys even more and take care of additional household chores when I don’t feel well or just physically can’t, but he does it with joy. He insists that I rest when I need to because he knows I have a tendency to push myself maybe more than I should. He does whatever he can to help me through the unpleasant parts of pregnancy, whether it’s stopping on his way home to pick up more salt & vinegar chips to help me with the nasty taste in my mouth or massaging my achy legs at night even when he’s really tired himself.

In the delivery room, if my mom is the coach, he’s my cheerleader. I know it’s tough for him to see me go through it, but he’s never left my side. And once our babies arrive, he is the sweetest of daddies, changing their first diapers and waking in the night along with me to bring the baby to me for feedings (in the weeks that Brad is off from work) or doing his best to soothe a cranky little one, sometimes falling asleep in the rocking chair himself.

#8. A Baby

This sounds kind of obvious, but the best part of being pregnant, the one thing that makes all the difficult, painful moments worthwhile is that moment when the doctor hands you your squirmy, wrinkly little one and you really meet your baby for the first time. That moment, and about a million others over the next year (and years). Loving and caring for this child, watching them grow and learn, knowing that God has a unique and divine purpose and plan for him, and seeing that plan slowly unfold through his personality and talents, his likes and passions, and God’s leading – there really is nothing better.

It doesn’t change, either, from your first baby to your second or third or so on. Each one brings a new, unique joy and love to your life.

It is absolutely the best part of being pregnant.

So, moms, what would you add to the list? What is something you love or loved about being pregnant?

My First Blogiversary

August 6, 2016

2 Comments

Life in Lape Haven: My First Blogiversary: Thoughts of My 1st Year of Blogging. As I celebrate the first anniversary of my blog, I'm sharing how much this unexpected path has blessed me.

Last year on August 7, I hit “Publish” on what would be my first official post of my blog. While I had been adding content for a few weeks, it was the first day that my blog would actually “go live,” the day that I would share it on Facebook and other social media, and the day that I officially became a blogger.

I remember my hands were actually shaking for a while after I hit that button and shared the post. My boys and I watched the “Real Time” stats on my WordPress Dashboard, so we could see how many people were clicking on the link and checking out my site. It was exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time.

As I shared in my initial post, I never wanted to write a blog. Be an author, sure. Blogger, not so much. But as I look back over the past year, I’m glad that I stepped out and followed God’s leading. If nothing else, it’s been a test of faith and obedience.

But of course, God’s plans are always bigger than ours, so this blog has proven to be a blessing in many more ways than I expected.

First of all, it has given this stay-at-home mom a creative outlet, and a confirmation that God’s purpose never lets any of our talents or gifts go to waste when we trust Him with them. As someone who grew up scribbling stories and ideas into notebook after notebook, followed by high school classes in journalism and Honors English, and then having my first job be a position at the local newspaper, writing was just a part of who I was. Even once I moved into different jobs outside of newspaper, I still wrote often for work and at home, up until I got married and became a mommy. Children tend to require a good bit of time and attention, and writing fell by the wayside until God asked me to pick it up again.

But this type of writing is different and much more personal. I’m not reporting on events or typing emails and memos to other employees or company contacts. I’m sharing my heart with the world (Although, let’s be honest, it’s mostly a handful of people at a time.).

One of the biggest blessings, though, in writing this blog has been seeing how my vulnerability and sharing my life’s little moments and revelations have encouraged, challenged, and helped others. I suddenly have a reach far beyond my little staying-at-home-most-every-day cocoon. I can minister to people I will never meet in person, whether it’s sharing comfort that God has given me (For Such a Time as This), telling my stories of everyday life (Going “Naked” at the Water Park) or my experiences growing up (Confessions of a Preacher’s Kid), finding profound lessons in what my boys say and do (Out of the Mouth of Babes), or even trying out recipes and simple household solutions and letting you know what works (Grease stains? I know how to treat them!).

While there have been many frustrating and/or tiring days and nights as I found (and am still finding) fringe moments to write, set up, and share my posts, I’m looking back over this year with a deep sense of accomplishment and gratitude for God planning this for me and staying with me every step of the way.

Also along for the ride have been my two biggest helpers and fans – my husband and my mother. They have both believed in me from my first hesitant suggestions that this was something God might possibly, maybe, want me to do. Not only has Brad been my technical support (he built the server my blog is on), but he’s definitely my biggest cheerleader. He has stayed up with me countless nights to help me proof those last minute posts, simply because he didn’t want me to be alone, and he proudly shares every one of them on social media.

My mom is always quick to help me out, proofing and reading any post drafts that I email her and helping me with titles and providing a good sounding board so I know that I’m saying what I want to be saying. 🙂

I’m also overwhelmingly thankful for the support I’ve had on this journey so far from all of my readers, especially those of you who have followed me from the beginning, as well as the many blogging friends I have made along the way. Hopefully I have been able to bless or encourage you all in some way over the last 12 months.

When I started this adventure last August, I couldn’t’ have imagined how much I’d learn and how I’d grow in so many areas of my life just by sharing bits and pieces of it with others. (There’s a lesson there…)

Looking ahead to the next year, it’s hard to imagine what God will do through my writing on this blog, but He’s already proven Himself more than faithful to help me accomplish what He’s called me to do and to bless me abundantly in the process.

Our Favorite Children’s Book About Pregnancy & Babies

July 6, 2016

Add comment

Life in Lape Haven: Our Favorite Children's Book about Pregnancy & Babies. We love this simple, easy to read story about where babies come from. Perfect for young children & preschoolers. Informative without giving too much information.

When Elijah was about a year and a half old, I came across a children’s book that I knew we had to get. We were shopping at the thrift store, which is where about 75 percent of our kids’ library has come from, and I picked up a book titled, When You Were Inside Mommy. Giving it a quick glance through, it seemed simple enough for Elijah to understand and enjoy, so I figured it was worth the 90-cents. Plus, knowing that a second child was most likely in our future, a book for young children about babies and where they come from was going to come in handy.

This cute little book, written by Joanna Cole (author of the Magic School Bus series), quickly became one of his favorites, as well as mine. He loved learning about what it was like for him as he grew inside Mommy’s tummy, and it often led to stories from my pregnancy with him, such as how he liked to kick when I turned to my left side or how we decided on his name.

The story is written in simple terms but with enough information that a young child learns about how babies grow in the womb, how they get food and air through the umbilical cord, and how Mommy and Daddy waited and waited for their baby’s arrival. And while it’s informative, it doesn’t give too much information or create too many questions. (Also, while this story is about a mother giving birth vaginally at the hospital, you could easily add in your own details if you had a C-section or home birth or whatever your birth story might entail.)

By the time I was expecting Josiah, Elijah had a pretty good handle on the basics of what was going on with his little brother inside Mommy’s tummy and what would happen when Josiah was born. This book was on regular rotation at bedtime for most of that pregnancy.

And it’s back, again, for our third time around, with Josiah being the one fascinated with how it was when he was a baby and also how our newest baby is growing. He loves watching YouTube videos about how babies develop in utero (the boys enjoy seeing how big the baby is each week – this week we have an avocado), and he likes to point out the “bilical” cord, since he knows what it does, thanks to this book.

I say that this is our favorite book on where babies come from, but honestly, we haven’t really read many others. We haven’t needed to. And while it is geared toward ages two to four, Elijah still likes to read it, and I know that we’re going to keep this one in our collection for years to come.

While I picked up our copy at the thrift store, you can also find it on Amazon. Here is my affiliate link (which means that at no additional cost to you, I may receive a small commission if you make a purchase through that link): When You Were Inside Mommy.

WHAT RESOURCE OR BOOK HAVE YOU USED TO TEACH YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT BABIES?

We Prayed. He Answered.

June 13, 2016

1 Comment

For over a year, Elijah has been praying faithfully for one thing. Every night when we say our bedtime prayers, his very first words are, “Dear Jesus, thank You for this day. Please help Mommy to have another baby…”

And it’s not just habit. I’ve asked him about it. He has been praying, believing, and full of faith that God will answer his prayers. In fact, as I shared back in October, he is so confident that he was checking my belly for a baby after only three nights of praying. He has since checked a couple others times, as well.

With that kind of persistence and faith, it wasn’t long before Josiah took up the cause, too, adding “Thank you for the baby in Mommy’s tummy,” to his own prayers.

Of course, Brad and I have been praying, as well, but not just that we would have another child, but rather, that we would have another child if that was God’s plan for us and our family. We’ve prayed and sought God’s will and timing for each of our children, and we’ve never set a definite number for how big or small our family would be because we believe that God has a say in this, one of the most important areas of our lives. We’ve always used “precaution” until we felt that God said, “Ok, it’s time to have a baby.” And that might sound silly to some, waiting for God’s leading in when you have children, but I know with both of our boys, that once we knew we had His green light, I was pregnant within a few weeks. (I love how my friend Denise explains their approach to growing their family. She says it so well, and it’s exactly the way that Brad and I have looked at it.)

So, with Elijah and Josiah both praying for a sibling, Brad and I began really asking God what He had planned for us, and while three children had always been a consideration for us, we weren’t certain and needed to know.

Then one day I felt God tell me, “Be open to four.”

I laughed at first, not necessarily because I didn’t believe God could give us four, but because that would be just like God to say, “This is what you think the plan is, but here is what MY plan is.”

And knowing that Brad was still trying to wrap his mind around the possibility of three, four would be kind of a leap ahead.

When I told Brad, I said, “Maybe it’s because we’re supposed to have one more and then adopt. Maybe we’ll have twins, maybe we’ll adopt two. I don’t know. Maybe God just wants to remind us that we don’t want to box Him in. We need to be open to whatever He has for us because no matter what it is, it will be better than our plans anyway.”

So we have been prayerfully awaiting God’s direction for our family.

And now we have an answer, at least the next part of it.

We are happy to announce that in December, we will be welcoming Baby Lape #3 to our family.

(We have been assured by the ultrasound tech that there is only one baby. Since my dad is a twin and twins run in my family, I always have her double check.)

Our boys are ecstatic, and so are we. We know from experience how love multiplies and makes room for more, so we are very excited to meet our newest addition.

The boys are both hoping for a girl, since, as Elijah says, “We don’t have any girls in our house except for you, Mommy,” but Brad and I will be happy either way. We have everything we’d need for a boy, and we’re getting pretty good with raising them. Of course, we’d also love a girl, which would end the boy-streak on my side of the family (all grandsons – 8 in a row), give Brad and I both a chance to experience raising a daughter, and mean that we’d have some fun shopping to do. (We’ll find out the gender at the end of July.)

For now we are just celebrating this new tiny little life, planning for all the transitions and new adventures we’ll be facing as a family, and the boys’ prayers (and our) have switched to “Thank Yous” and prayers for the baby’s safe development over the next months and help for Mommy with all the pregnancy “fun.”

I love that our boys get to see God answering their prayers, and I’m thankful that they had to wait a while for that answer to come. They are learning early on that God’s timing doesn’t always match ours, but if we trust Him and His plan with faith and patience, we’ll be blessed no matter how or when He answers.

Images courtesy of Picture Bliss Photography.