Author - Kishona

The Verse that Became My “Mommy Motto”

July 28, 2015

At some point last summer, after a day of answering every “why” question that my then 4-year-old could come up with and changing my toddler out of yet another soaked outfit (Is there a sippy cup that doesn’t leak? We have not found one), I began looking for a Bible verse or quote that would encourage me as a wife, mom, and person in those moments when I felt overwhelmed, ill-equipped, or just plain exhausted.

I had the perfect spot for this inspiration: a cute little chalkboard in my kitchen.

Any mom who has ever had to prepare a meal with one child crying and hanging on her leg while the other complains of being hungry (Can you not see what I’m doing? Do you not smell the chicken roasting in the oven?) knows that the kitchen can be a battle zone of frustration and patience worn thin at the end of the day.

Searching for an uplifting “something” to help me refocus in those crazy moments, I flipped through my Bible and searched online for a verse that was encouraging, simple…and short enough to fit on the chalkboard.

I looked for the word “joy” or “joyful” because in my heart, that’s the kind of mom and wife and person that I want to be. If I’m not diligent in guarding it, my joy can be the first victim of a rough day.

When I came across Romans 12:12, it was as though all the things I needed to be reminded of in my calling as “Mommy” and “Mrs.” were efficiently, concisely summed up for me in 10 little words. (God’s cool like that.)

It says, “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

Joyful. Patient. Faithful. It’s become my “mommy motto.”

Joyful in Hope

Being joyful seems as though it should be easy. I’m doing what I love – making a home for my family. I have funny, silly kids, who are smart, healthy, and imaginative. I have a hubby who loves us all and works hard to provide for us. All together we have a happy, loving home.

But as I said before, there are times when I can allow my joy to be stolen away – whiny children, disagreements with my husband, faulty expectations of perfection for myself. Parenting and marriage aren’t easy. If I don’t keep myself grounded in God’s Word and His presence, it can be even harder. After all, He is my hope. Trusting in His plans for me and His strength daily, I am reminded that my children (and husband) are truly gifts from God, given to me because He knew that with Him, I could be the mom (and wife) that they need.

Patient in Affliction

Okay, I’m not saying my family is an “affliction.” Far from it – they are a blessing. However, conflict, struggle, and potty training can test a mommy’s patience…especially potty training. Many of my days would have better outcomes if I allowed a little more understanding and patience to direct my words and actions. We all make mistakes, we are all flawed human beings, and we are all in the process of learning and growing, especially our children. Remembering how much patience God has with me, I know that I can strive to be a more patient girl, no matter how difficult or trying the circumstance.

Faithful in Prayer

I think that maybe this phrase should have been first on the list – as in, “Faithful in prayer, patient in affliction, and joyful in hope” – because our relationship with God is the foundation to everything in our life, and there is no relationship if you aren’t talking to and listening to Him daily, faithfully. My joy comes from time in His presence and resting in Him. My patience is strengthened when I have a real understanding of God’s grace and mercy toward me. If I’m not spiritually ready to face a day, I’m shooting myself in the foot.

Furthermore, I need to be faithful to cover my husband and children in prayer for God’s guidance and protection. That is one of my greatest responsibilities and privileges as a wife and mother. There is an enemy out there who wants “to steal, kill, and destroy,” and I am not going to take it lightly. I can take authority over strife or confusion or fear in our family rather than let the enemy’s plans succeed in our home.

So that’s the verse I doodled out on my cute little chalkboard in the kitchen after a particularly trying day, and it’s been there, exactly as I wrote it out, for close to a year now.

Has this past year been smooth sailing, all rainbows and sunshine? Are my children perfectly behaved angels and my hubby never irritating and always chick-flick-hero perfect? Um, no.

But I know there are days that could have been horrible, disastrous even, had I not taken a second to remind myself of that verse and correct MY behavior, change MY perspective, or seek God for wisdom or intervention in MY situation.

Because God’s Word is never meant to change “them.” It’s always meant to change “me.”

What is your go-to verse for encouragement on tough days?

Get a free printable of this verse here!

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Tried It Tuesday: Stitch Fix

July 22, 2015

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Life in Lape Haven: Tried It Tuesday - Stitch Fix box

Last year on my birthday, my hubby signed me up for a Stitch Fix account.

In case you haven’t heard of them, Stitch Fix is an online clothing subscription where you fill out information on your style and sizing, and their stylists send you 5 pieces of clothing to try on based on your information and requests. Each time you receive a box, you are charged a $20 styling fee, but if you keep an item or two or all of them, the $20 goes toward the purchase. You have 3 days to try on the pieces and decide which you want to keep and which you want to return. When you decide, you go to your profile and check-out. Then you drop the stuff you want to return into the provided envelope and mail it back for free (free-ish if you didn’t keep anything). They ask you at check-out what you like or don’t like about each item, so the next box is even more tailored to you.

I had heard about Stitch Fix off and on and was anxious to see what it was all about. Filling out my styling information was fun and easy and setting up a delivery for my first box was pretty exciting. I decided to set mine up to come every other month initially.

When my first “Fix” came, it was like Christmas. My boys were nearly as eager as I was to see what was in the box. I was pleased with what I received, even though there were a few sizing and style issues. However, given that it was my very first box, I was satisfied that I liked two of the pieces enough to consider keeping them. Then I had to decide if I liked them enough to pay for them (most pieces I’ve received are around $40-$60 each) or not enough and lose $20. I ended up keeping a navy striped long-sleeved shirt, and I’ve worn it often since. (Don’t pay attention to me in the pics – late evening photo session after a long day).

My second “Fix” came close to the actual Christmas, and I was really happy with how well the stylist did in picking things to send me with just the little feedback from my previous box. The fit on all the items was great (4 tops, 1 pair of paints), but some I liked better than others for various reasons – comfort, personal taste, and so on. Being so close to Christmas, I wasn’t willing to pay to keep every piece (which is usually at least $200 even with the “buy all 5 pieces” discount of 25%). I ended up keeping a purple shirt with Dolman sleeves, which again has seen a lot of wear.

With my second box, I posted pictures on my Facebook for friends to help me decide which pieces I should keep, and through that was able to get a referral credit to my account when someone signed up for their own Stitch Fix to be delivered. That went to my third box. (Anytime someone signs up through your referral link, like the one I have in this post, you get a $20 credit when their order ships. It makes continuing to use the service a lot more feasible for me.)

My third box was, again, a good mix of the right fit and style. I kept a cute sweater from that Fix. However, with the change of seasons, I found that I had a sufficient wardrobe to see me through spring and summer, so I put my deliveries on hold for a while.

Overall I’ve had a pleasant experience with Stitch Fix. For me, it’s fun trying things this way and easier than having to drag two little boys and a big boy through a department store or two and several trips to the dressing room. (Dressing rooms and 2-year-olds do not work well together!) Hubby says that he looks at the stylist fee as saving him from having to go shopping all day. I think the $20 just helps make it easier to justify keeping at least one thing from every Fix.

I’ve also found that I’ve tried and liked different styles than what I would pick out for myself sometimes. And I always get compliments on the pieces I’ve purchased. (Glad to know that being home all day with two boys hasn’t completely eroded my slight sense of style! Haha) Stitch Fix also send little cards with how to style each piece they send, which helps give you the courage to try something new.

Besides the fun, convenience, and style, I’ve found that having a nearly guaranteed good fit on each piece I’ve tried on is wonderful. The survey you fill out when you set up your account is so detailed that they know exactly what pieces to send you. I’d have to walk all over the mall and spend hours trying on clothes to get 5 pieces that fit me as well as my last box did.

So far, the quality of the pieces has been good. All three of mine are hand-wash only, though, so that may help (It’s not my favorite way to have do laundry and definitely a slight negative when I think of what I’d like to keep from a Fix).Since the quality and fit have been better, the higher price has been worth it for me, even though I still can’t bring myself to spend a huge chunk of money to keep all 5 yet. I’d have to love each piece a lot for that to happen.

If you haven’t tried Stitch Fix, I think it’s definitely worth ordering a box or two, just for the fun of trying on stylish clothes in the comfort of your home. You can check them out here. If you have received a Fix, let me know about your experience.

Trying & Tying: Teaching Our Kids to Do Hard Things

July 20, 2015

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Life in Lape Haven: Trying & Tying - Elijah finally tied his shoelaces

If at first you don’t succeed, tie, tie again….

With Elijah starting kindergarten this fall, we’ve been working to prepare him for this important milestone. (Mommy might not be as ready, but that’s another story). We’ve talked about what to expect during his school day, how he should behave, what skills he should have, and we know he’s ready academically, thanks to his own intelligence and his lessons on ABCMouse.com.

However, one of his biggest struggles has been learning to tie his shoes. It seemed simple enough when we started teaching him a few months ago. He had the incentive of needing to know before he went to school, and we knew he had the capability both mentally and physically. So, why is it that just last week he finally got it?

The reason was annoyingly simple (Extra annoying because I KNEW what the problem was): He didn’t want to TRY.

That was it. He stubbornly refused to attempt to tie his shoes, at least without a big to-do about how hard it was. Every time he had to put shoes on, his first defense was to announce that he wanted to wear his flip-flops. When that got shot down because of the weather (rain and flip-flops don’t mix well) or the amount of walking we’d be doing (flip-flops aren’t great for hikes in the woods), he went to either “I don’t know how, so it’ll save time if YOU do it for me” (nice try) or straight to “I don’t want to.” (Our favorite) Fun.

It wasn’t as if Brad and I were being tyrants about it, punishing him for not getting it perfect or never helping him. Nope. I had shown him – slowly – many, many, many times, and he knew how to do the initial single tie part, where you cross the laces, flip one under the other, and pull it tight. He’d actually been doing that himself for several months whenever he put on his shoes. If he ever actually attempted to finish tying the laces, we gave him help when he got stuck.

But ask him to keep trying or practicing, and a battle ensued. Every time.

Then finally last week, the heavens opened, and angels sang “The Hallelujah Chorus.” At the end of that day’s battling, Elijah managed to finish tying his shoe without any help whatsoever. He went from a grumpy, obstinate boy to a glowing, proud, capable boy in an instant.

He smiled at me and said, “Now I don’t have to be whiney or complain anymore!”

My response was, “Wow. Good job. I’m proud of you. But you know, you didn’t HAVE to be whiney or complain, even before you could tie your shoes. You CHOSE to.” He gave me a sheepish smile and nodded, “Yeah, I know.”

It would be easy (VERY easy) to be frustrated at that kind of reply if I didn’t realize how incredibly human it was.

We’ve all acted that way at some point and probably more often than we’d care to admit. If we have a task where we are faced with the possibility of failure or not knowing exactly what we’re doing or having to exert more effort to accomplish it, we’re tempted to not even bother. We’ll use lots of excuses and be disagreeable or whiney in the process. Of course, once we conquer that something difficult, everything’s sunshine and happiness.

The thing I kept stressing to Elijah was that he’ll face lots of hard things in life and avoiding them doesn’t make them disappear. I’ve always told my boys, “I don’t want you to tell me, ‘I can’t.’ I want you to say, ‘I tried.’” You may not accomplish your goal on the first attempt – in fact, you probably won’t. But until you actually try, you never, ever will.

I want him to realize that the quickest way to get past something hard is to try, then try again, and then keep trying. We all know “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again,” and “practice makes perfect.” We know that, but the DOING of it is where we struggle.

And as Christians, I think we should really be killing it on “doing hard things.” Why? Because we have the very Spirit of God living inside us, the Spirit who raised Christ from the dead! Talk about a hard thing…oh, wait. “With God, all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)

Remember, Philippians 4:13, says, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” (I repeated this verse over and over during both un-medicated deliveries of my boys because labor is hard…yes, worth it – but HARD.)

In addition, since we know that God is helping us to do whatever it is that we are facing, we don’t have to be whiney or complaining about it. We really don’t. For one, that gives no glory to God, and let’s be honest, it doesn’t make us look good, either.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue…” (Proverbs 18:21) Saying over and over again, “I can’t,” “This is too hard,” “I’ll never get it,” will not help you accomplish a hard task. It will only make facing that task more miserable.

So we each have a choice: Face hard things bravely and with the determination to do our best and rely on God to help us succeed (or at least to have made a tremendous effort); or sit back, complain, and never come close to succeeding.

This might seem like a lot to expect a 5-year-old to understand and get from learning to tie his shoes, but I know he can, just like we can – if we trust God and TRY.

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What I Learned (or was reminded of) at VBS

July 17, 2015

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What I Learned (or was reminded of) at VBS - Life in Lape Haven. Serving and teaching at our church's vacation Bible school is always a blessing, but it's also a lot of time and effort. One year we were reminded of how even our smallest contributions in ministering to these little children is important.

For the last few years, Brad and I have had the honor of ministering to all the precious little hearts during our church’s annual Vacation Bible School. We absolutely love it, even though it makes for a busy week (and few weeks beforehand with prep and decorating, honestly).

The below post was originally written in 2015, after a great week of fun and ministry at our VBS. I like to revisit this one every year right before a new vacation Bible school begins, just to remind myself of why we put all the time, effort, and love into these quick few days each summer.

WHAT I LEARNED (or was reminded of) AT VBS

Our theme this year was “Thailand Trek,” which allowed the children to experience a different culture and learn about how God loves all of us, no matter where we live or what we look like.

Brad and I were in charge of teaching the preschool groups in their “Bible Adventure” sessions. If you know anything about 3-, 4-, and 5-year-olds, you know that every day was a true “adventure” for us just keeping their attention and responding to those random questions and answers that children like to throw out. (Best, most random answer this week was when we were talking about the best gift that was ever given. I asked the kids what they thought it might be, and one little guy replied, “A mustache!” Haha. The actual answer is Jesus, by the way)

Having worked in children’s ministry in some way, shape, or form since junior high (It’s kind of my heart), and since I’m one of the regular Sunday school teachers for the preschool class, I did the actual teaching while my husband worked alongside me as my assistant. He’s wonderful that way, and he’s gotten pretty good at anticipating where I need him next. He’s my echo when I’m teaching a new verse or rhyme, he makes a great prop manager and effects guy, and he’s never embarrassed to be silly or goofy with the kids. Together, we make a rather good team.

At the end of each night of VBS, we gathered all the preschool groups into the main room for a closing session of a few songs and review while we waited for parents to arrive and pick up their children. I stayed near the front with the other preschool leaders, singing with the kids and greeting parents, and Brad was in the back of the room, running the sound.

The first three days went really, really well. While our days were a bit more hectic than usual, the joy of serving and seeing children respond to the love of God and the love of all the volunteers definitely made it beyond worth it.

: Our boat for “Thailand Trek”

: More room decorations

: Crafts are always big at VBS!

The last night of Thailand Trek, our family had a half-hour before we needed to be out the door to get to church when Brad and I realized that Josiah was sick, mostly because he threw up all over himself, his bed, and Brad.

Knowing that I had to teach, Brad agreed to stay home with Josiah. I was sad leaving two of my guys behind and disappointed that they wouldn’t get to be there for the last day of VBS.

At the start of each class I let the kids know that “Mr. Brad” had to stay home because our littlest boy was sick, and for the most part they accepted it, and we continued on with our lesson. However, one little boy’s response was one of the best lessons of the week.

When he heard that Brad wasn’t there, his expression clouded with genuine concern, and he asked, “But who will do our music?”

I glanced to their group leaders, who had the same reaction that I did – we were surprised, encouraged, and humbled at the same time.

Realizing that this little boy noticed the person who ran the sound every evening for the final session in the noisy, chaotic preschool class, even though no one ever brought attention to that fact, reinforced to our hearts that every little thing we did to make this VBS happen, it mattered. It was important. And it was noticed and appreciated.

Looking at the group leaders who’d corralled as many as 10 energetic children from activity to activity four nights in a row, I hoped they knew that this time of pouring themselves out for these children wasn’t in vain. I thought about the ladies who faithfully ran the registration every day, keeping track of all the children who’d come through the doors, and those volunteers tucked away in the kitchens, plating hundreds of “Thai Treats” for hungry children who would never even see them. Imagining the mess our kids made of snacks and crafts, I know there were people coming in after all the children were on their way home or the next morning, straightening, tidying, and making things ready for the next onslaught of fun.

I was privileged to be a part of this giving team. A team who did whatever was asked of them to create a memorable week for so many children and show them God’s love in so many different ways.

There are a number of scriptures that come to mind at this point: “Whoever receives one of these little children in My name receives Me” (Mark 9:37), “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men” (Colossians 3:23), “For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ” (1 Corinthians 12:12), and “He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much” (Luke 6:10).

One little guy reminded us that God saw and was blessed by everything we gave in His name – every hug, snack, helping hand, and silly act.

And the children, who we could barely get to sit still sometimes, were paying way more attention than we thought, too.

Get more ideas & encouragement from this real-life mom as I experience God’s faithfulness through the joy and chaos of motherhood.

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Tried It Tuesday: 2-Ingredient Tub & Shower Cleaner

July 14, 2015

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About three years ago, we had to redo our entire bathroom due to a leak. (Ok, actually we only HAD to replace the tub and surround and flooring, but we CHOSE to update the sink, vanity, mirror, and toilet at the same time.) We put in a new tub and surround and finished it off with beautiful oil-rubbed bronze fixtures. Since everything was being redone, we put bronze fixtures on the sink as well. It was so pretty and pulled together.

Within a few weeks’ time, I was regretting the bronze fixtures. They were not the easiest things to clean. Then I started noticing calcium build-up from our water on the shower curtain, fixtures, and I could even feel it on the shower walls, despite the fact that I was cleaning them all as recommended with “gentle cleaners.”

So for the last few years, I have hated cleaning our bathroom. I do it, but I have dreaded it every time. It feels like wasted effort when you clean, and then what you cleaned (and tried really hard to clean well) doesn’t look or feel clean. Ugh.

And I tried all kind of cleaners, techniques, and ideas. Nothing worked well and easily. If it worked decently, it took forever and wore me out. If it was easy, it didn’t really do the job.

Then, hallelujah! I found a new idea to try in late February this year. Scrolling through my Pinterest feed, I saw a recipe for what some called a soap-scum remover and others named it a shower cleaner that only required vinegar and Dawn dish detergent, the two darlings of homemade cleaners. Since I’d been using vinegar to get some of the calcium deposits off, I was intrigued. When I read the directions that made it seem rather simple and easy, I was ready to try it out.

I heated ½ cup of white vinegar in the microwave (about a minute or so), poured it into a spray bottle, added ½ cup of dish detergent (I didn’t have Dawn on hand, so I used my generic-version of Dawn), and swirled the bottle to mix the ingredients. Then I sprayed down my entire shower surround, tub, fixtures, and even the shower curtain. Following the instructions, I left it alone for 2 hours…and then some. I had lunch to make, kids to wrangle, and then it was time for naps.

So, a bit over 2 hours later, I went back in with a damp kitchen cloth (it has some texture to it), took a swipe at the bathtub ring, and the results: AMAZING.

I actually stood back in shock.

The yucky stuff had wiped right off! I was staring at clean, shiny tub! Excited and inspired by the first result, I went to work wiping down and rinsing the rest of the tub. I did have to slightly scrub at a few places that were more built-up, but even those were easy compared to my previous cleaning attempts.

This worked so well, even on the bronze fixtures, that I was HAPPY to be cleaning.

Wait…what?!?

Yep. Happy to finally be able to really get my bathroom clean and sparkling without stinky chemicals or hours of scouring.

I have been using this recipe ever since. Always works like a charm.

One warning, though: Hot vinegar is potent. Whew! When I spray this in the shower, I do it quickly and hold my breath. It will make your bathroom smell like vinegar during those two hours you leave it on there, but once you’ve rinsed it off, your bathroom will just smell clean, which is exactly what you want.

2-Ingredient Tub & Shower Cleaner

½ cup Vinegar

½ cup Dawn (or equivalent dish detergent)

Spray Bottle

Heat vinegar in microwave for a minute to a minute-and-a-half. Pour into spray bottle. (I use a funnel to limit the mess). Add ½ of dish detergent. Put the spray nozzle on, and swirl the bottle to mix the ingredients. Spray tub, shower, or fixtures. Leave it alone for 2 hours. Wipe off with a damp cloth and rinse area clean. Rejoice over an easily cleaned bathroom.

Tried It Tuesday: Homemade Sidewalk Paint

July 7, 2015

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Tried It Tuesday - Homemade SIdewalk Paint. This easy DIY homemade sidewalk chalk paint is a great way to get your kids outside and creating some adorable masterpieces. Made with ingredients you already have in your cabinet!

With the rain finally staying away and allowing us to have some summer sun, the boys want to be outside constantly, and being energetic, curious, creative boys, they are always looking for something different to get into, especially if it’s messy.

Yesterday, we satisfied that mess-loving, outdoor-play need with a little homemade sidewalk painting.

We’ve actually tried this once before, so I knew it would be a hit. Elijah is our resident artist, so anything crafty or involving drawing or coloring, he’s there. Josiah is not quite as artistic, but he’s starting to enjoy drawing simple things, like circles and his interpretation of faces and “writing” letters.

If nothing else, I knew they would both have fun getting messy. Because that will happen. It did last time, so I fully expected it this time.

I was not disappointed, and neither were they.

Whipping up a batch of sidewalk paint is really easy:

SIDEWALK PAINT

1 part cornstarch

1 part water

Food coloring

I actually used 1½ cups each of water and cornstarch, mixing them thoroughly together in a large spouted bowl, then poured the slurry into a couple of my muffin tins.

I’ve found it’s a good idea to fill every other cup of the tin because little guys will slop colors around, and if they are all side-by-side, you’ll end up with murky brownish colors in every cup really quickly. I filled each cup about halfway full and ended up with at least 10 cups to paint from.

When we added food coloring to the half-filled cups of the muffin tin, we mixed up a rainbow of colors, plus black (all colors) and brown (red, yellow, & green), and we left a couple of them white.

All that’s left to do is get painting.

We started out using foam brushes, which work really nicely on the smooth concrete by our fish pond (The foam can get a little mangled when used on the rougher sidewalks if you aren’t careful).

The paint dries the brightest if you paint slowly and let portions somewhat dry before adding a new color, but try telling that to a little one who is just having a blast with the swirling colors. At their age, they aren’t as concerned with the final result as we might be.

Inevitably, my guys discarded the brushes to do a little sidewalk finger painting.

And then some body painting.

And some pour-everything-out-and-mix-it-around-with-your-hands-and-feet painting, which actually gave us some pretty cool results.

Yes, they were messy, but as I said, getting messy is part of the fun.

So far, we haven’t had any issues with the paint staining clothes, but I can’t make any promises. We did have two little boys who needed a good soak in the tub afterward, but they were two very happy little boys.

This is definitely something I can see us trying again soon.

Author - Kishona

The Verse that Became My “Mommy Motto”

Joyful in Hope

Patient in Affliction

Faithful in Prayer

What is your go-to verse for encouragement on tough days?

Get a free printable of this verse here!

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE:

Tried It Tuesday: Stitch Fix

Trying & Tying: Teaching Our Kids to Do Hard Things

If at first you don’t succeed, tie, tie again….

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What I Learned (or was reminded of) at VBS

WHAT I LEARNED (or was reminded of) AT VBS

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Tried It Tuesday: 2-Ingredient Tub & Shower Cleaner

2-Ingredient Tub & Shower Cleaner

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Tried It Tuesday: Homemade Sidewalk Paint

SIDEWALK PAINT

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