Category - Encouragement

The Boy and Halloween

October 27, 2015

*I was really hesitant to write this post for today, or any day, but I have such a great quote to use that I felt I needed to share it. My heart is to encourage and challenge you to know what God wants you to do above anything else.*

This post contains affiliate links, which means that at no additional cost to you, I may receive a small commission when you use the links.

I like October, but I don’t love it like many people that I know. Sorry.

Yes, Octobers in Ohio can be beautiful with all the leaves changing, and yes, I enjoy pumpkin donuts, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin ice cream, and pumpkin rolls just as much as the next girl. (Another sorry – I’m not a coffee drinker, so pumpkin spice lattes don’t excite me.)

However, I really dislike facing an entire month of Halloween everywhere, especially now that I have to navigate that entire month with my little boys in tow.

Television alone becomes a nightmare, possibly literally. Hubby and I are constantly saying, “Don’t look – la, la, LA, LA, LAAA,” while we frantically try to change the channel so that our boys aren’t seeing or hearing bad-dream inducing ugly, nasty, demonic things in a 30-second commercial on even the generally family-friendly stations. (Come November 1, it’ll be Christmas commercials for every toy known to mankind, which is almost as bad)

In our home, we do not observe Halloween. We do not decorate or go trick-or-treating or give out candy. However, we do attend our church’s Fall Fun Fest outreach, complete with “good” costumes, and the boys have their fall party at school.

I know the season and the day are a big debatable topic in Christian circles because lots of people have a very nostalgic view of the holiday based on how they grew up. (Although, anyone who has seen the Halloween scene in “Meet Me in St. Louis” knows that even way-back-when, the day was not exactly wholesome, innocent fun. Those were some creepy little kids…)

There are those who see it as a chance to interact and share their faith with their friends and neighbors. Some people observe the All Saints’ Day roots while others avoid it altogether because of its pagan history. (Many like to point out that Easter and Christmas have pagan history, too, but I think that if you look at how the three holidays are celebrated now, Halloween still embraces evil. The other two don’t.)

I LOVE dressing up in creative costumes (birthday parties, dramas, school spirit days), and I LOVE me some Snickers and Almond Joys. I adore ministering to children and making certain they know how much Jesus loves them. So I understand how that’s the appealing part of Halloween for Christians. It’s why we do all the fall outreaches at our churches.

One year we did a family theme of “The Wizard of Oz” for our costumes at the Fall Fun Fest.

However, in my heart, I just can’t justify doing the traditional Halloween holiday. I can’t celebrate a day that so completely embraces darkness, fear, death, and evil, even for the sake of the candy and fun it mixes with it. As a parent, I’m responsible for what I expose my children to, and while I don’t plan to keep them in a bubble, I prefer that my 2-year-old doesn’t have to deal with fears I presented to him as “fun.” Knowing that the supernatural world is very real, I also don’t want my 5-year-old to see demonic things as “cool.” Honestly, I want him to see them as defeated by the blood of Jesus.

Do I judge other people for taking their children around the neighborhood to get candy? Nope. Not at all. And I hope they give our family the grace to be true to what we feel God has said is right for us.

When I lived in northeast Ohio, I was a part of the midweek children’s ministry at our church, and I remember one October talking about Halloween with the kids. They had lots of questions about it, so we discussed the origins, both good and bad, of the day. We talked about what the Bible says about fear and evil, what it says about being set apart, what it says about loving your neighbor. I told them that what they did with Halloween was something they needed to pray about with their parents.

I don’t want kids to just say, “Well, Miss Kishona says it’s good/bad.” They need to know what THEY believe and why. They need to hear God’s voice and follow His leading in everything – in the things where the Bible absolutely makes it clear and addresses the issue, but also, and especially, in those things where it doesn’t give a definite “thou shall/shall not” directive.

Toward the end of class, one boy raised his hand and summarized the whole dilemma facing every Christian child when it comes to this holiday and life in a fallen world in general.

He said, “I don’t believe in Halloween, but I DO believe in candy.”

The accuracy of that statement is both amusing and sobering.

Our children are caught in the conflict of do-we or don’t-we. And the answer to that is not always an easy “yes” or “no.”

It needs to be, “Ask God, seek Him, read His Word, find His will.”

Because here’s the thing: Halloween won’t be the only area of their life where they will face this decision.

There will be plenty of times where something will have fun, exciting, or even good aspects mixed with those gray, shady, or completely dark, bad areas. School, work, relationships.

They need to be able to stand in those times, solid in their relationship with God, not swayed by opinions, not bound by traditions, not just grabbing at compromise for the sake of fun, while also not just running from evil because they don’t know how to deal with it.

While they live in the liberty that Jesus gives us, they need to be able to recognize the difference between the things that are permissible versus the things that truly benefit them and their walk with God.

Paul wrote about this to the church in Corinth. He told them that “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify.” (1 Corinthians 10:23)

We want our children to always choose the things that are helpful and edifying, instead of just doing something because they can.

If you believe that trick-or-treating falls under edifying for you and your family, then shine your light and enjoy the candy. If it falls under “not edifying,” then shine your light and make sure you pick up some half-priced candy on November 1.

That’s probably what I’ll do because, you know, I don’t believe in Halloween, but I do believe in candy, especially when it’s on sale! 🙂

Get more ideas & encouragement from this real-life mom as I experience God’s faithfulness through the joy and chaos of motherhood.

Join my email list!
First Name

Email address:

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE:

10 Homemade Family Costume Ideas & How We Made Them

Old Fashioned Pumpkin Cookies

Trusting God Through Kindergarten

Why We Don’t Need More This Christmas

Josiah and the Smile

October 26, 2015

2 Comments

Life in Lape Haven: Josiah and the Smile. Sometimes we just need to take a second to close our eyes and listen for God.

One night about a month ago, Josiah began throwing a fit when it was time for him to get into his bed. I’m not sure what sparked it, but he was not his usual, sweet, bedtime-compliant self.

As he was crying and screaming in his bed, kicking off the blanket that I had just placed over him, my mind was searching for a distraction that would calm him down. When he’s over-tired, which he was, he will fight correction and comforting both. So, getting him to focus on something new is the best course of action.

For some reason, my mind latched onto a memory, a family story of my mom and her sister talking on the phone.

My mom has a rather creaky smile, so when she smiles, you can hear it. One day while they were talking on the phone, my aunt must have said something to which my mom hadn’t responded but had smiled about, and my aunt said, “I hear you smiling!”

It became a saying in our family – “I hear you smiling”- and not only does my mom’s smile creak, mine does, too. I inherited the creaky-smile gene.

Listening to Josiah crying in the dark, I had an idea.

“Listen,” I told him. “Shh. Shh. Listen. See if you can hear Mommy smile. Close your eyes and listen.”

The request caught his attention enough for him to settle down, close his eyes, and lie quietly, waiting for me to smile.

*Creak*

A little giggle, and his eyes popped open.

“Did you hear it?” I asked him.

Smiling, he nodded. Then he said, “Now you close yours eyes, and I smile.”

Of course, I did.

He has inherited the creaky-smile gene, as well. (Maybe everybody’s smile creaks. I don’t know. I just know that ours do in our family… How many people just tested their smiles? Did you close your eyes and listen?)

The funny thing is, sitting there with my eyes closed, it was nearly impossible NOT to smile whenever I heard Josiah’s little *creak*.

We took turns, closing our eyes and smiling at each other and smiling back and giggling in the dark.

After a few minutes, Josiah was ready to sleep, all the fight and fit completely forgotten, replaced with creaky smiles.

Isn’t it amazing what a smile can do? Even one in the dark? Our little game immediately calms Josiah now. Even in the middle of the day, he’ll come up to me and say, “Close yours eyes, and I smile.”

Something about it all makes me think of God and how He is always with us.

We can be in a big struggle or storm, and the Holy Spirit is right beside us. It might be dark, but He’s there. We might not be receptive to His correction or comfort, being wrapped up in wanting things our own way, but He’s there.

Then He’ll whisper, “Listen. Close your eyes, and see if you can hear Me smile.”

If we do it, if we turn our attention to Him for even a moment, we’ll hear Him. If we focus on being in His presence, listening for Him, we can hear Him smile.

Why would God be smiling when we’re in a struggle?

Because He’s is in control.

Because when our attention is on Him, He can help us so much more.

Because in those quiet moments, He can soften our hearts, preparing them for whatever He needs to speak to us, be it encouragement or correction.

Because in His presence is peace and “fullness of joy.” (Psalm 16:11)

So instead of fighting, “close yours eyes” and listen.

When God smiles, you’ll hear it. You’ll feel it. You’ll know. And you won’t be able to help but smile, too.

Elijah and Jesus’s Birthday

October 25, 2015

1 Comment

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Elijah & Jesus's Birthday. How excited would Jesus be if we kept as our focus all year long?

One year, a few days before Christmas, all four members of our little family came down with a fabulous flu, effectively changing all of our holiday plans to “quarantined.”

Despite not feeling well, being stuck at home, and missing both sides of our families’ celebrations, our boys were still very excited for Christmas Day.

We had done a very simple “Advent-style” daily countdown to Christmas using a nativity scene window cling set. Each day one of the boys got to pick out which character or scene piece we put on the window, leaving Baby Jesus for Christmas Eve. Each night we talked about how Jesus came as a baby to save us all.

On December 24, they added Jesus to the manger, and then we did our traditional reading of the Christmas story. With our version, the boys get to use the pieces of my Fontanini nativity set to act out the story while we read it.

From there it was up to bed to say prayers and get our little guys tucked in for the night.

After Josiah’s usual prayer of, “Sank you for mommy an’ daddy an’ ‘Jah-jah’ (Elijah) an’ ‘Benny’ (Vinny), Hep me seep well. Amen,” it was Elijah’s turn.

Here was the best part: “Jesus, thank You that it’s Your birthday tomorrow. You’re probably going to be excited tomorrow.”

Brad and I quietly chuckled. We’re used to at least one of our children’s prayers having an amusing element.

But, as I’ve thought about it later, why shouldn’t Jesus be excited for Christmas? It was kind of a big day for Him and all of mankind.

Yes, I know, we don’t technically know the exact day that He was born, and it probably wasn’t even in December. However, I’m sure Jesus enjoys that we celebrate His birth and all that it meant, even if it’s not the very same, exact day. I mean, I don’t mind when people have a party for me when it’s not my birthday.

And yes, I know that much of the world has made Christmas into something where Jesus is completely forgotten. That’s like people having a party for your birthday without you, and yes, that’s rather rude and uncool.

However, there are still plenty of us remembering to invite the Guest of Honor, and not just inviting Him out of obligation so He can sit in the corner with the nativity set all awkward while we hang out with our friends and family and Santa Claus, singing “Jingle Bells” and sipping eggnog.

(A side note: In Lape Haven, we like the true history of St. Nicholas and his focus on blessing others, but the modern idea of Santa Claus is just a minor part of our holiday, kind of like Frosty, Rudolph, Scrooge, and Buddy the Elf).

No, I mean a Christmas where we truly strive to keep Jesus as the central focus of our festivities, honoring the sacrifice He came to make and reveling in the love that compelled Him to become flesh and dwell among us.

I think that would be exciting to Him.

And honestly, we don’t have to wait for Christmas; we shouldn’t wait for Christmas to make Him our priority, our focus, and our source of celebration.

As Christians, our holiday season should be a continuation of our everyday walk of giving Jesus His rightful place as Lord in our life, of praying for His will to be done, and of allowing the Holy Spirit to lead us, correct us, and make us more like Him. Christmas should be a celebration of all He’s done in and through us throughout the year.

Every night we could pray, like Elijah, and be thankful that Jesus came to us. We could tell Him, “Jesus, thank you that I can celebrate You again all day tomorrow. Jesus, You’re probably going to be excited tomorrow.”

“Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, because He has come to His people and redeemed them.” (Luke 1:68)

Elijah and the Bully

October 23, 2015

1 Comment

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Elijah and the Bully

Sometime last month, Elijah got into the car after school and announced,

“I have to tell Daddy that he was wrong!”

Intrigued, I asked Elijah what he meant.

“He told me that bullies probably wouldn’t bother me, but he was wrong.”

That was not the reply I had expected from my kindergartener. I imagine he and Brad had talked about his class and bullies around the time Elijah was starting school (Perhaps Elijah had heard about bullies on TV and was worried?)

“Do you have a bully in your class,” I asked him.

“Uh-huh,” Elijah replied. “She isn’t very nice to people.”

So the bully was a girl. Hmmm.

Through a series of other questions, I learned about one little girl in his class who said mean (for a kindergartener) things to the other kids in the class. Apparently she had also gotten into trouble in class a lot and had even used a few bad words.

When we got to how she had bothered Elijah, he told me, “She came up behind me at recess and said, ‘I don’t like you.’”

At that point, I could have told Elijah how unkind that was or how mean she was, but I didn’t. I didn’t need to give Elijah more reason to feel hurt. Instead I felt it was important for Elijah to look at the situation a little differently.

I think I shocked him a little when I told him, “Well, she doesn’t have to like you. But do you play with her a lot? Does she know you?”

Elijah paused. “No.”

“So, how can she know if she doesn’t like you if she doesn’t know you?”

Since I was driving, I couldn’t see his reaction to this thought, but I could hear the smile in his voice when he said, “Yeah!”

Then I talked to him about how oftentimes, people who are unkind to others act that way because they aren’t happy themselves.

When he seemed a little confused, I gave him an example.

“When you are upset or in a bad mood, are you always nice to Josiah? Or do you treat him not very kindly if you’re grumpy?”

“I’m not very nice sometimes,” he admitted.

So he seemed to understand. We talked about how he could be kind to this girl, even if she was being mean, and how he could help his friends if she was mean to them. The last thing we did was pray for her, that she would learn to “be good” (his words) and that Elijah would be able to be nice to her.

When Elijah is older, I don’t know how much he’ll remember about the specifics of this school year. I personally remember several moments from my kindergarten experience while my hubby doesn’t remember any of his. If I tell him about a little girl who said that she didn’t like him, he’ll probably laugh it off, similarly to how my oldest nephew and I laugh at how, when he was three, he thought that calling me a “hunting deer” was a big insult.

However, whether Elijah remembers the incident or not, I’m hopeful that the habit of praying for those who are unkind to you and trying to understand and have compassion for them is something that sticks with him, something that becomes the automatic and the normal.

Jesus tells us to love our enemies (Matthew 5:44), and to bless those who curse us, pray for those who mistreat us. (Luke 6:28)

It usually isn’t the thing we want to do, whether we are 5 or 85. It usually isn’t easy. But it’s the right thing, the Godly thing to do.

Because through our obedience, our humility, and our efforts to love and forgive, God can change things, if only our heart for that other person.

Sometimes, though, he also changes the other person.

About a week or two after the initial incident with “the bully,” Elijah got into the car happily and ready to share about his day.

The first thing he told me was that this girl had done really well in class that day, “clipping up to purple,” which means she behaved so well that she was at the top of their classroom’s behavior monitoring chart and had earned a prize for the day.

Elijah said, “I told her that I was proud of her.”

Yes, my mommy heart melted. He was encouraging her to be good and letting her know that he had noticed.

I asked him how she responded to that, and he grinned at me.

“She smiled a little bit.”

I know that this little girl still has times of being mean or misbehaving in class because Elijah keeps me filled in on her progress, but he’s still watching out for her. We pray for her every so often, and his heart is kind toward her. He’s cheering her on, wanting good for her.

Whether or not this girl ever likes Elijah, she’ll definitely know that he cares about her.

This is part of my Write 31 Days series, “Out of the Mouth of Babes: 31 Quotes from My Children.” I’m posting every day in October, so if you’ve missed one and need to catch up, or if you really enjoyed a particular quote, you can find the entire series on my Write 31 Days page.

Another fun part of the Write 31 Days is that you can enter to win a $500 Shopping Spree from DaySpring.com!

DaySpring is celebrating all the amazing Write 31 Days READERS who are supporting the nearly 2,000 writers this month! Enter to win a $500 shopping spree by clicking this link and following the giveaway widget instructions. There will be a link at the end of each day’s post from October 15 through October 30.

I would love it if one of MY readers won!!! So, good luck and THANK YOU, THANK YOU for reading!

Elijah & the Roller Coaster: A Lesson in Facing Fear

October 22, 2015

Add comment

Elijah & the Roller Coaster - A Lesson in Facing Fear. Life in Lape Haven. Our son was both excited and scared to ride his first ever roller coaster, but through it we both learned a lesson in facing fears.

Last updated June 6, 2018

A few springs ago, Elijah began a mission to save money toward a family trip to Kings Island, one of the amusement parks here in Ohio. Two summers in a row, when Elijah was 2 and 3, we had received free tickets from hubby’s work, and it became Elijah’s favorite place in the world (we’ve never been to Disney). However, starting that year, the company outings changed to a different venue, so a trip to any amusement park suddenly became a more expensive venture for us.

Elijah was determined to go that year, though, so we struck a deal with him. In an effort to begin teaching him about making good financial choices and the importance of earning something you want, we promised him that if he could save enough for his ticket, we would go.

Through learning memory verses every week, doing various special chores, choosing to save his change instead of spend it, and designating the majority of his birthday money to savings, Elijah was able to put aside more than enough very quickly.

So our family planned a trip in late July, and Elijah counted down the days.

Part of our planning including visiting the Kings Island website to see what rides in Planet Snoopy, the Peanuts-themed kids’ area, that Elijah would be tall enough for then. I’m not sure who was more excited, him or us, when Brad and I realized that Elijah was able to ride everything in the kids’ area, including my favorite ride in the entire park. Several years ago, I had ridden the family inverted steel roller coaster (now based on Snoopy and the Red Baron) with my nephews, so I knew it was a fun, smooth coaster.

He was also tall enough to bump along on my very first coaster, a wooden contraption once named the Beastie. In keeping with the Peanuts branding, it is now called the Woodstock Express, but it is still as jostling as it ever was.

When the big day arrived, Elijah was both excited and nervous about his first real coaster ride. He decided to start his day slowly, enjoying familiar, tamer rides to build up his courage.

In previous years, he hadn’t been a big fan of even the mildest kiddie coaster, but being two years older, he tackled that one easily. He was ready to face a “real” coaster when it began raining. The downtime gave him a chance to vacillate and worry again while we enjoyed some yummy blue ice cream.

Had it been Josiah, he would have been in the front car of the biggest possible coaster as soon as he could. Elijah, however, has a bit of his mommy’s cautiousness to him, so I knew he would need a little coaxing to face something new and unknown. (I am very familiar with the feeling) We wouldn’t make Elijah ride the coaster, but we did encourage him to try it, even if he were a little nervous. Had he said he really didn’t want to, we would have gone on to something else.

After things dried out, he said he was ready, and Elijah and I found ourselves in line for the steel coaster, his little face betraying his anxiousness even though he was smiling.

He watched the other riders ahead of us, which I’m not sure helped, but the older girls talking about how fun the ride was did seem to give him the extra incentive to get strapped into the chair when our turn came.

I was proud of him. He was going to do it, even though he was a bit afraid.

Then he gripped my hand. And I knew.

He was scared, but he was trusting me. He knew I was right there with him. I had done this before, and now we were going to do this together.

He was okay for the initial “chugga-chugga-chugga” up the hill, but when the cars topped the incline and started to circle down the first hill, his handhold with me became a death-grip.

When he squeaked out, “Mommy!” I could tell he was NOT loving this quite as much as we’d hoped he would.

I squeezed his hand and told him that it was okay. I continued to reassure him through the remaining 60 seconds or so of the ride, and toward the end, he relaxed a tiny bit. However, he never let go of my hand.

Helping him down, I asked him what he thought, and he told me,

“I didn’t like it, but it was fun.”

My poor conflicted little guy. We’ve been working on “doing hard things” this past year, and this was definitely one of them.

Facing a fear is NEVER something we want to do. We don’t like it. It is, after all, scary. Most of the time, when we step outside of what we know, out of our comfort zone, we’re not overly thrilled to be doing so. It’s called a “comfort zone” for a reason – everything beyond those borders is uncomfortable.

However, it’s in the uncomfortable places where we grow, where we learn to be brave, where we learn to trust. And usually the reward for facing our fear is worth it. It might even be fun.

Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Elijah and the Roller Coaster

On the Woodstock Express – that face!

And we don’t have to face our hard things alone.

As I was describing how Elijah held my hand on the ride, I couldn’t help but see God in my spot and me in Elijah’s.

We all know that life can be a roller coaster, and who better for me to be holding onto than God?

There will be parts that scare me, that jostle me, that make me disoriented even. But I know Who is right there with me. I know that He knows where the ride is going, when it dips and when it rises. I can hear Him reassuring me the whole time.

Even in those seasons when it’s fun and exciting, I still hold tight to His hand because I need Him then, too, to share in the joy and to prepare me for whatever’s coming next.

I asked Elijah tonight what he would say about that ride now.

He told me again, “I didn’t like it. But next time I want to do it again.”

And I’ll be right there with him, holding his hand.

Get more ideas & encouragement from this real-life mom as I experience God’s faithfulness through the joy and chaos of motherhood.

Join my email list!
First Name

Email address:

Elijah and the Dream Job

October 21, 2015

1 Comment

You know when you’re little, and someone asks you, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Most kids give a pretty standard answer, “A policeman,” or “A ballerina,” or “Superman,” and they stop there.

Not my child. And I bet, if you’ve been reading faithfully over these past 20 days or so of the Write 31 Days (or if you just read the title of today’s post), you can guess which one.

Oh, Elijah. My bright, imaginative, curious, optimistic dreamer.

Do you know what HIS standard answer is when he’s asked what he wants to be when he’s older?

“Everything.”

I’m serious.

He tells people that he wants to be “everything.” And this has been his standard answer for the past 2 years, at least.

Of course with that answer, he always expounds a bit, clarifying his “everything,” in case anyone wonders what that means exactly.

He says something like this, “I’m going to be everything. I’m going to be an astronaut, a firefighter, a preacher, a farmer, a zookeeper, and a daddy. I’m going to be everything.”

These are just some of the occupations that he says fairly often, but it is by no means a definitive list. He adds new ideas regularly to his “everything” dream job.

As a mom, I’m both amused and amazed.

He could totally be a lot of those things at once. In fact I know someone who has been a daddy, a preacher, a firefighter, and somewhat of a farmer, all at the same time, so it’s possible.

But to shepherd a heart that dreams so big is kind of intimidating. All I can do is pray that God leads his steps and gives Brad and me wisdom as we raise him. Pray that we lay the foundations solidly for his own relationship with God so he can follow God’s leading closely. Pray that we notice his talents, giftings, and strengths so we encourage them and pinpoint his weaknesses and challenges so we can help him overcome them. Pray that he does his best to reach his full potential and fulfill all the plans that God has for him, even if they differ from Elijah’s own ideas or ours.

Of course, that’s really the same thing I’d be doing if he only had one answer instead of every answer.

Parenting is all about doing your best, learning, and growing while you depend desperately on God for guidance and discernment, trusting that He can still work through all the mistakes you make, and simply trusting that His love for your child is even greater than your love for that child, that His plans for your child are “to give him a hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Trusting can be hard. But God has never failed me, and I’m choosing to trust Him with my boys. After all, He’s the One Who gave them to us and trusted Brad and me with them in the first place. (It reminds me of Hannah with her Samuel in 1 Samuel 1:27 & 28)

So while I work to embrace the overwhelming ambitions of my little visionary, I am also excited at the possibilities.

Sure he most likely won’t be an astronaut AND a zookeeper. But with that kind of expectation, confidence, and determination, it’s kind of fun to imagine what he really could be, to wonder at what God has in store for him.

As much as I want him to be my little boy forever, I’m also excited to see the “everything” he’ll be when he grows up.

Remember to enter to win a $500 Shopping Spree from DaySpring.com!

I would love it if one of MY readers won!!! So, good luck and THANK YOU, THANK YOU for reading!

Category - Encouragement

The Boy and Halloween

I like October, but I don’t love it like many people that I know. Sorry.

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE:

Josiah and the Smile

Elijah and Jesus’s Birthday

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:

Elijah and the Bully

Elijah & the Roller Coaster: A Lesson in Facing Fear

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE

Elijah and the Dream Job