Category - Encouragement

Nobody Is Grading Your Holiday

December 7, 2015

Tis the season! Time to gather with loved ones, make cherished memories with your children, and celebrate the birth of our Savior! Yea for Christmas!!!

I love, LOVE, LOOOVE Christmas!

Yet this time of year can get overwhelming. Very overwhelming. I was talking to a friend a few days ago who already seemed tired just anticipating the celebrating and dealing with the pressures to do ALL the holiday things and do them all well.

I knew exactly what she meant. As moms, we especially feel this pressure to pull off a Pinterest-perfect, Instagram-worthy Christmas. We want it to be “sparkles in the air” exciting for our children, with joy, laughter, and precious memories being made daily.

From decorating our tree and home, baking Christmas cookies and treats, sending holiday cards, attending numerous Christmas events and gatherings with friends and family, shopping for “just the right gift,” not to mention making sure that the season is truly meaningful for our families by doing Advent calendars or Bible readings with our children every day, December can be a busy, stress-filled month.

Well, it can if we let it.

I mean, who says we have to do it all? Who says we have to do any of it?

Don’t want to send Christmas cards this year, or can’t bake cookies to save your life?

Then don’t do it.

*Gasp*

I know. It’s revolutionary.

But seriously, if you’re zapping the joy from your holidays (and probably of those around you) by striving to live up to all the expectations you think someone has for you or that you’ve put on yourself, let me tell you what I told my friend:

Nobody is grading your holiday.

Nobody.

Not your family.

Truly, your children won’t miss half of the things you think they might. Sure, you want to do the things they love if you can, but they don’t need a lot of activities, crafts, goodies, or even presents (yes, I said it!) to have a wonderful, memorable, meaningful Christmas. Besides, sometimes we have them so Christmas-saturated that it’s no wonder they have trouble seeing Jesus amid all the chaos and noise.

Pick the things that are the most important to you to do as a family during the holidays, and do those. Everything else can fall by the wayside or make the list to do another year.

Not your friends.

We all have things that make our holidays special. What is an important tradition to my crew may not be special for yours. Just because another family is celebrating a certain way doesn’t mean that we need to be doing it, too.

(For example, my friend liked the idea of St. Nicholas Day, something that my family began observing last year. However, she knew that she wouldn’t be ready this year to introduce it to her boys.)

Not even Jesus.

If all your Christmasing is exhausting you physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, or financially, I honestly think Jesus would probably tell you to chill.

Think about it: Sometimes all our wonderful holiday doings actually make it harder for us to focus on Him and all His coming means to us.

That’s the whole point of the season, isn’t it? Focusing on Jesus. Remembering that moment in time when God “became flesh and dwelt among us.”

And if you miss a night of reading your family’s Christmas devotional (it’s happened in our home once or twice), breathe.

God isn’t impressed with how much we DO to observe Christmas. The Bible tells us that “man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

If your heart is toward Him, God knows.

We could run ourselves ragged keeping up with all the best traditions for Christmas, but if our hearts are NOT on Him in the midst of those activities, what are we really celebrating anyway?

So, cut yourself some slack this year. Let go of some of that holiday to-do list. Give yourself and your family some time to truly enjoy each other and reflect on the One you’re doing all this to celebrate.

My advice: Even if you don’t make it to see “The Nutcracker” this year, at least make sure you see Jesus.

4 Reasons Why Bedtime Is Our Best Family Time

November 12, 2015

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Life in Lape Haven: 4 Reasons Why Bedtime is Our Best Family Time

(This post may contain affiliate links, which means, at no additional cost to you, I may receive a small commission if you use the link. Thank you for supporting our site.)

A day in the life of a mom (or dad) can be hectic, unpredictable, and distracted.

From the time you are getting everyone up, ready for the day, and out the door for whatever you need to be doing until you’re back at home, tidying up, doing homework, eating dinner, and getting ready for bed, there can be days where your quality time with your family doesn’t really get to happen until bedtime.

At least that’s how it works for us, but that’s okay because it is usually our very best family time.

Why?

#1 – Bedtime is the one time when all four of us are present without distractions

My hubby works four 10-hour shifts a week, with a 9 a.m. start time. This means that he doesn’t generally get home until nearly 8 p.m. (or later) most nights. With Elijah in school and having a stricter bedtime now, time with Daddy during those days is limited.

However, by bedtime, we are all there. We’ve turned off the television, we put down our phones, and we focus on sharing time together.

(And I will be honest, sometimes I’m a late-comer to the party. There are days when I can’t work on writing or editing pictures until Brad is home, so when it’s time for getting the boys ready for bed, he’ll take the lead and let me work until they are ready for me to come join them. I try not to miss it, though, because it is such valuable family time.)

The boys take turns getting to pick the bedtime story each night, which means we can pretty much guarantee an argument every few days about whose turn it actually is to pick the book. J

We all snuggle up on Elijah’s bed to read our story. If we’re in a time crunch because they took longer brushing their teeth or dawdled while getting into their pajamas, I’ll read. I’m a much faster reader than Brad, and I’m quite good at summarizing as I go along, just in case Elijah has picked a particularly lengthy book. (Now that he’s learning to read, however, I have a feeling I may get called out on this little trick sooner or later.)

Of course, if Elijah hands me our copy of Fox in Socks by Dr. Seuss, there isn’t much even I can do. We’re going to be tongue-twisting our way slowly through that one. (But we still love it!)

A 3D bedtime story.

Sometimes it’s hard to get through a book quickly, though, because…

#2 – Bedtime is when the boys are the most talkative

My boys are always pretty talkative. (I think they get it from their mother.) However, at night time, they are even more so. Maybe it’s partly a technique to stall the inevitable “going to bed” part of the bedtime routine, maybe it’s because they know they have our full attention, or maybe it’s because they have started processing their day by then. I’m not sure. I just know that when we’re trying to get them to settle down, they are trying to start all kinds of conversations.

We try to allow time for this in our routine because we want them to know that what they have to share is important to us, no matter what they want to talk about. We chat while they’re getting faces washed and teeth brushed. We chat while they are changing into jammies and picking out tomorrow’s ensemble. And we chat before, during, and after their story, their Bible reading, and their prayers.

Which brings me to our third reason…

#3 – Bedtime is when we spend time in God’s Word and in prayer as a family

While we pray with our boys throughout the day, bedtime is when we really get to, again, do so without distractions and all together.

We read a story or passage from one of their children’s Bibles or use our Kids’ Bible App to study the Word together, and then we each take a turn praying.

From the time our boys could talk, we started leading them in simple prayers, just saying, “Thank You,” to God for family and praying for safety and good sleep. With just a little guidance, before long they start to pray on their own very easily, and now, sometimes they surprise us with their words (in a good way).

We end our bedtime routine with a song, usually “Jesus Loves Me,” although they can request whatever song they’d like.

Then it’s time for kisses and cuddles, which is our last reason.

#4 – Bedtime is when my boys are the cuddliest

From snuggling on our laps during a story to laying down on Mommy during prayers to giving tons of good night kisses and hugs, our boys are especially affectionate as they wind down from the day. Josiah will even flat-out lie and tell you that “I didn’t get a hug!” when you know you just hugged him after you tucked him in, right before you said, “Good night,” and turned to leave his room. Another stall tactic, maybe, but another hug, too.

Watching how quickly my boys are growing, I know that our bedtime routine will someday change. Soon they’ll be able to get ready completely on their own. They’ll be able to read to themselves and won’t always want us to read them a bedtime story. At some point, we definitely won’t be able to fit all of us comfortably on a twin-sized bed because they’ll no longer be snuggled in our laps.

However, I pray they never outgrow spending time with us before bed, even if it looks differently. I pray that they will value reading the Bible together and praying as a family. I want them to be able to talk to us and share about their day, their concerns, and their questions. I never want them to be too big to give me good night hugs and kisses, even if it’s done before they head off to tuck themselves in.

Mostly I pray that Brad and I are always redeeming the time now, while they are young, taking advantage of our best family time, realizing how important it is that we don’t miss the beautiful moments we have with them. These are the moments that will make spending time with us more important to them later.

When is your family’s best “Family Time”?

Being Married to a Cheerleader

November 2, 2015

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Life in Lape Haven: Being Married to a Cheerleader. Being your spouses teammate and encourager in all their endeavors.

As a little girl, I was a talker, a mover, and a wiggler who was constantly dancing and singing and usually loud. Since my parents couldn’t afford dance classes for me, they put me in cheerleading to help me use up some of my energy.

I cheered for six years of my childhood, up through ninth grade, and I loved it. It fit my cheerful, bubbly personality and brought out my natural encourager.

My experience came in handy once I started working with children’s ministry and youth. I could be animated, cheer them on in games or events, be in front of groups, and project my voice to be heard (an especially helpful skill!).

I didn’t really think much about how those talents would translate into my married life, since there usually isn’t much call for cheers or stunts during a housewife’s day.

However, I have found that my cheerleader heart has had plenty of opportunity to use its training. As his wife, I have the privilege of being my husband’s main encourager (aside from the Holy Spirit), and whether that’s supporting his endeavors at work, in ministry, or his hobbies, my cheerleading or lack thereof can have a tremendous impact on his success or failure, if only in how he feels about either.

I remember the day early in our marriage when he came home and told me that he felt that God was leading him to run a 5K. Brad was not a runner, nor was he really into many athletic endeavors overall. His sport was paintball, but since it is a rather costly game, he didn’t pursue it much in the interest of our budget.

So, when he decided to start training for a race, I was surprised but supportive. If nothing else, it would be good for his health.

Since that day, I have filmed and photographed training runs and finish line crossings at various 5Ks and half-marathons, washed his sweaty running clothes hundreds of times, bundled our babies up to stand along race sidelines for the chance that we’d see him dash by, and given up some of my own options for kid-free time so that he could go for a quick (or hour-long) run.

I don’t do that because I have to, but because I love him, and I’m proud of his accomplishments. I do it because I’ve seen God working in him and growing him, challenging him and strengthening him. He has become healthier and more confident.

For much of our marriage, I was the main encourager, and he was the main achiever. It wasn’t that I didn’t do things. I did various creative things, such as organizing events at work or church, writing and directing church plays, coordinating my nephew’s wedding, and working to improve my photography skills, even doing a few sessions for family and friends.

I would say that the only major, long-term undertakings that I faced were when I was pregnant. As any mamma knows, pregnancy, labor, and delivery are no joke, and both of my pregnancies were a wonderful chance for my hubby’s inner encourager to shine.

He didn’t disappoint. From the first trimester nausea through all the doctor appointments and all the uncomfortable, I’m-done-being-pregnant, sleepless third trimester nights on into all of my laboring-over-night, med-free deliveries, he was a wonderful support.

As it turns out, my hubby is a good cheerleader, too.

So when I first mentioned starting a blog, my husband didn’t laugh. He was all for it. In fact, he got excited. Of course, that wasn’t really about me blogging. He was about to get a chance to nerd out, with my blog as an excuse. He was determined to configure our server to host my site, and he did. (My site is on a server in the next room.)

From my initial researching and planning, he has been right beside me, my biggest encourager, as well as my sounding board and my first proofreader.

My blog has been the first real “my project” for us. It was something I felt called to, just like he felt nudged to run a 5K. (So glad it wasn’t the other way around!) And my cheerleader has been there every step of the way.

Then I announced that I was going to do a 31-day writing challenge. When I told him, Brad was hesitant, a bit worried that it would be too much for me. However, once he saw I had a plan that seemed doable, he was behind me 100 percent.

Initially, my October posting went really well because I had written a few ahead and so as long as I kept writing every other day or so, I stayed on top of it. Any time I added a post to social media, Brad came along at some point in the day to share it, too. He never failed to ask, “How’s your site doing today?” as we kept track of new traffic that the challenge was bringing my way.

Then I had a few days of Josiah not napping well and daily life being more demanding, and suddenly, I was working on posts later and later into the night, just to get them ready for the following morning.

Still, there was my cheerleader, not only encouraging me to keep at it, but picking up my slack around the house so I could write, edit, create graphics, and set up a post. He would take the boys upstairs to play so that I could focus. While I sat typing away at night, I could hear him in the kitchen, loading the dishwasher and putting away dinner.

No matter how late my night, he stayed up with me, to help proofread and just to be with me, even though he would have to get up earlier than I would the next day.

Toward the end of the month, the Write 31 Days group came up with a shirt for members of the group to buy to celebrate finishing the challenge. I showed Brad the options and told him that I would like to get one.

Even though the end of the month might be a little tight financially, my supportive hubby was more than adamant that I should have something to commemorate all the hard work of the past month. So every day I would mentally remind myself to go online to order a shirt…then forget. He asked me once or twice if I had bought my shirt yet, and I would open up the page to order it “in a little bit.”

The second to last day that the shirts would be available, he sent me a text from work:

“Buy your shirt please! LVU!”

Maybe it was partly exhaustion from one-too-many late nights, or just realizing how important it was to him for me to get my shirt, but I seriously teared up when I read his message. A reminder to me, who usually is on top of everything, from my guy, who is usually the one who needs reminded.

So, yeah. I guess we both married cheerleaders, which is awesome because when you’re married, you are a team. You win or lose together. Sometimes you are both on the court; other times one of you is cheering on the other from the sidelines.

No matter which it is, though, facing the struggles is easier with an encourager by your side, and celebrating a victory is so much more fun when you have someone with which to share it.

Go, us, Brad! LVU!

Tell me: Who’s your biggest cheerleader?

My Boys and the Giggles

October 31, 2015

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Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - My Boys and the Giggles. A joyful conclusion to a challenging 31-day writing challenge.

One of the most amazing sounds to a new parent’s ears is their baby’s first laugh. It’s is like nothing else. In that moment, your child’s individual personality really begins to show.

As your children grow, their chuckles, giggles, and chortles become the music of your home, delighting everyone who hears it (well, except for when they are doing something they aren’t supposed to be…).

So, for my last day of the Write 31 Day challenge and the last entry for my series “Out of the Mouth of Babes: 31 Quotes from My Children,” I’ve decided to end with more than a quote.

Today you get a small sampling of the beautiful, unquotable symphony of my children’s laughter.

Elijah and the Amusing Broom

With a seven-month-old keeping me busy, it was after Christmas by more than a month when I finally got around to taking down the tree and decorations after Elijah’s first Christmas. I was cleaning up the pine needles that fell off the tree when Elijah became rather amused by the broom.

Josiah and His Silly Brother

Sometimes all you need is a funny sibling to make the day hilarious. It’s so nice when they can entertain each other.

My Boys and the Air Conditioning

This little game was invented by my mother when she was babysitting my nephews. After hearing about it, I decided to let the boys try it out.

All you need are tiny pieces of tissues and a running air vent, and you have a recipe for fun for as long as the air is running.

Thank you so much for joining me on this month-long adventure through all the funny, encouraging, and amazingly wise things my children have said. I pray that you have been challenged, inspired, and delighted every day and that God has ministered to you in some way through at least one of our stories.

It has definitely been a challenge to have something ready to post every day, but I have enjoyed it and am rather proud of myself for sticking with it and managing to share something each day without fail.

Thank you for reading along and encouraging me. Your visits, comments, and shares have helped keep me inspired to continue.

In writing my posts over the last month for the Write 31 Days challenge, I began to see a recurring theme. Most of the things my boys have said have pointed me over and over again to trusting God with a childlike faith.

People might say that having childlike faith is easy for a child (it’s in the description). Apparently, they think that since adults have seen “real” life, it’s okay to become hardened and cynical, seeing the negative much quicker than the positive. Trusting God is a “nice” idea, and it’s cute for those innocent little ones. It’s not “real” life for many grown ones.

However, I would argue that if Jesus did not expect us to have a childlike faith beyond childhood (and know it was possible), He wouldn’t have told us “For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” (Mark 10: 13-15)

Over the last 31 days, God has allowed me to reflect on how much I am truly trusting Him (or not). It has been a challenge that I did not expect when I signed up, but it has been an edifying challenge nonetheless.

Again, I pray that this series has been edifying, challenging, and encouraging to you as well.

So, let me know: Have any of the posts challenged you or encouraged you? How has God used this series to minister to you? What was your favorite quote from the 31 days?

Elijah and the Birds

October 29, 2015

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Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Elijah and the Birds. Expecting God to provide in unusual ways.

Names and their histories and meanings have always been a big thing for me. It may be because my name, Kishona, is unique and has its own story, and I have always loved that (I was named after the River Kishon, sometimes called the Brook Kishon, in the Bible.).

So when we began making a list of possible names for our first child, pretty much as soon as we knew that I was pregnant, you can imagine the importance I placed on finding just the right name. Once we knew for certain we were having a boy, the search was on in earnest, and we prayed for God to make our child’s name obvious to us.

We wanted a more unique name, preferably Biblical, that had a strong meaning and history. We also didn’t want one that would be easily shortened to a nickname, and it had to sound good with our last name. I really like the name “Joel” but with our last name it just sounds like “Joe Lape.” And “Gideon” is cool, but when you try it out with “Lape,” it comes out too close to “Giddy-up,” which is not the most playground-friendly.

The name “Elijah” was on our list, and we had already passed on it a couple of times when one day it just stood out. I was getting ready for work, and I kept thinking, “Elijah, Elijah, Elijah Lape.” I mentioned to Brad that we might want to reconsider it, and then later that day, in a conversation with someone we barely knew, they suggested one name for our baby. They said, “Elijah.”

After that day, since I already knew a good bit about Elijah of the Bible, I began to look into its meaning, which is “My God is the Lord.” That was promising. When combined with his middle name, his name would mean, “A strong warrior whose God is the Lord.” Yes!

We waited until we saw our little guy for the first time before we told anyone what his name would be. We wanted to make sure that it fit, and it also gave us something to surprise our family with when he was born.

From the start, it was clear that there was only one name our boy could have been called, and as he has grown, it has only become more evident.

: Newborn Elijah. Photo courtesy Picture Bliss Photography.

: 1 year old Elijah. Photo courtesy Picture Bliss Photography.

: 2 year old Elijah with Mommy & Daddy at a family wedding

Just like I love my name and its history, Elijah LOVES reading all the stories about “Elijah from the Bible.” His favorite is, of course, when Elijah calls down fire from heaven at the contest on Mt. Carmel against the prophets of Baal (1 Kings 18). Funny enough it wasn’t until he was born that I remembered the connection of “my” river to that same story. (It’s where Elijah killed all the false prophets.)

Elijah also loves the story in 1 Kings 17 of God using the ravens to feed the prophet Elijah during the drought.

One day when he was a little over 3, he came up to me and asked,

“When is God going to have the birds feed me?”

I knew he was thinking literally, as in he expected to walk outside one day and have a flock of chickadees or robins fly over and drop down some yummies. But God, being awesome as always, already had an answer in the works for that same evening.

That day God didn’t choose to use a bird (thankfully). He chose to use a Brad… or rather, Brad’s work.

My hubby texted to let me know that he was bringing home leftovers from one of the company’s catered meetings.

Just like that, I was able to let Elijah know that God was sending him dinner. (Bonus: I didn’t have to cook!)

We talked about how God can provide for us in many different ways, sometimes completely unexpectedly, and how He knows what we need before we do.

Jesus told us in Matthew 6:31 & 32, “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.”

As adults, we feel the responsibilities of life, and we tend to worry. We think in terms of bills, saving for unexpected expenses, and making sure we always have enough.

Yet God already knows what we need. And He is more than capable of meeting any and every need we have. It may not be how we expect Him to meet it (how many of us would want to live by a brook while birds brought us food?), but He will still provide.

It doesn’t mean we’ll have excessive amounts of things we want or even things we need. But we will have what He knows we need.

Instead of worrying, we should live in expectation, knowing that our Heavenly Father loves us, and when we ask for bread, He won’t give us a rock. (Matthew 7:7-11)

I’m not sure that we should go outside and start watching for a flock of ravens, but God knew that our Elijah was expecting Him to provide, and He didn’t let our little boy down.

“I have been young, and now am old; yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his descendants begging bread.” – Psalm 37:25

Elijah and the Morning

October 28, 2015

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Life in Lape Haven: Write 31 Days - Elijah and the Morning. Determining to make each day wonderful by choosing a positive attitude.

When I was pregnant with Josiah, part of our preparation for his arrival was having two-and-a-half-year-old Elijah spend the night at either my parents’ or Brad’s parents’ house every so often. Since Elijah was still so little, he hadn’t had too many sleepovers, and we wanted him to be used to being away from Mommy and Daddy overnight when he had to stay with his grandparents while we were at the hospital.

My mom was taking care of my nephew at my brother’s home during the week, so whenever Elijah stayed with my parents, he got to go with her in the morning and spend the day with his best friend in the world, his cousin Christian. Both of the boys loved that.

One evening when I went to pick up Elijah from my parents’ house, my mom shared a cute story about how their day had started.

Since she needs to be over at my brother’s home in time for his wife and him to leave for work, my mom’s day starts early. She was up, getting ready, when Elijah woke up at 6 a.m. (So glad he was over at her house!)

He was still lying in bed when Mom heard him declare, “It’s a wonderful day!”

Knowing that he was going to be playing with his cousin all day, I’m sure he was anticipating all the fun they were going to have together with each other and with their grandma.

However, he hadn’t even gotten out of bed before he decreed how his day was going to go. He hadn’t looked outside to see if it was sunny, cloudy, windy, or rainy to determine what the morning would be like (it still would have been dark, anyway).

He had already decided that it was a wonderful day.

So many more of our days would be wonderful ones if we started them off this way, if even before we opened our eyes, we reminded ourselves that “this is the day the Lord has made;” and determined that “we will rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24)

Our attitudes, perspectives, and expectations can make a great situation miserable or miserable situation great or, like Elijah, a good situation wonderful.

Today, I’m challenging you to find your inner “Pollyanna,” and just like the little girl who could find something to be glad about in any circumstance, look for joy, look for good, and look for God working in, around, and through you.

When you’re tempted to complain, remember all the many things for which you have to be thankful. When you want to criticize, find something to praise. If someone frowns your way, hit them with a megawatt smile (sometimes just annoying that grumpy person will be enough to make your smile last all day).

Yes, we have hard days and trials, and sometimes the silver lining is hard to find in an overcast sky. When that happens, here’s a jumpstart for your positive thinking: you are not alone. You are NEVER alone. We have a God Who loves us, and He will walk with us, comfort us, guide us, work miracles on our behalf, carry any burden we entrust to Him, and give us hope and peace in every circumstance if we ask Him and let Him.

With God, we can begin every day with anticipation, knowing that it can be a wonderful day.

So how is YOUR day going to be wonderful?

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Category - Encouragement

Nobody Is Grading Your Holiday

Nobody is grading your holiday.

Not your family.

Not your friends.

Not even Jesus.

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:

4 Reasons Why Bedtime Is Our Best Family Time

#1 – Bedtime is the one time when all four of us are present without distractions

#2 – Bedtime is when the boys are the most talkative

#3 – Bedtime is when we spend time in God’s Word and in prayer as a family

#4 – Bedtime is when my boys are the cuddliest

Being Married to a Cheerleader

Tell me: Who’s your biggest cheerleader?

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My Boys and the Giggles

Elijah and the Birds

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Elijah and the Morning

So how is YOUR day going to be wonderful?

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