Life in Lape Haven

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5 Everyday Moments That Make Being a Mom Totally Worth It

May 2, 2016
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5 Everyday Moments That Make Being a Mom Totally Worth It, Life in Lape Haven. Being a parent is hard, and some days are difficult. However, even on the roughest days, there are moments that can remind us of how wonderful it is to be a mom or dad and how precious our children are to us.

As a mom, I know that some days, parenting is just hard. Children can be demanding, cranky, destructive (usually accidentally), disobedient, whiny, messy, and just exhausting. However, I have found that even on those really rough days, there are still moments sprinkled throughout the chaos that remind me that my children are truly gifts from God and being a mom really is worth it.

Here are five of my favorite everyday moments that make being a mother the best calling ever.

5 Everyday Moments That Make Being a Mom Totally Worth It, Life in Lape Haven. Being a parent is hard, and some days are difficult. However, even on the roughest days, there are moments that can remind us of how wonderful it is to be a mom or dad and how precious our children are to us.

1. Cuddles and Snuggles:

My boys are all pretty affectionate little guys, and they love cuddles and snuggles. Whether it’s climbing into bed with Mommy and Daddy on Saturday morning (so much sweeter when they wait until after 8 am!), or just scooting up really close to us on the couch, our boys are cuddlers. They want to be with us.

Josiah likes to sit beside me as I’m typing or editing pictures, laying his little hand on my lower arm and his head against my upper arm, and just watch me. Elijah’s tall enough now that he can almost rest his head on my shoulder. Even the most frustrating days can be softened when they are being sweet and tender like that.

 

2. Giggles:

No matter how bad a day is, my boys will be laughing at some point, those deep-belly giggles that are impossible to resist. They can be fighting and arguing with each other one minute, then laughing with each other the next. And their joy is contagious. Of course, it’s even better when I get to be the one to bring out the giggles in them with silliness and tickles and fun. Laughter is a beautiful remedy for discouragement and exhaustion (I laugh even easier when I’m tired. Haha!) After all, the Bible tell us, “A merry heart does good, like medicine.” (Proverbs 17:22)

 

3. Unexpected Hugs & Kisses:

Having mentioned our boys’ affectionate natures, is it any surprise that I get treated to random hugs and kisses throughout my day? Josiah’s thing is to give me “all the hugs in the world,” which is basically a really tight, prolonged clinging sort of hug. Even though he will have moments when he doesn’t want ME to give HIM hugs or kisses, he loves to surprise me with them.

Elijah, however, has never rejected a hug that I can remember. He’ll give me a “good morning hug,” a hug before and after school, and hugs “just because” throughout the day, but his specialty is his bedtime hug, where he basically lets you think you’re just leaning down for one last kiss before he goes to sleep, and he’ll latch on, both arms around your neck, and keep you there. (And giggle.) He’s surprisingly strong for his age. He’s also the most likely to come up and give Mom random kisses on the cheek.


 

4. “I love you, Mommy”:

I don’t know if there is anything more encouraging or refreshing on a difficult day than when your child looks you in the eyes and sweetly and sincerely tells you, “I love you, Mommy.” Even if they are echoing your words with an “I love you, too,” it has a way of refocusing you to how blessed you are to be the mother of that child (yes, that one, the one who just a few minutes ago flushed his training underwear down the toilet – true story. Or that one, who is so driven to create that he keeps ransacking the kitchen junk drawer and recycle bin, even when he’s been told not to, to “make something,” leaving crazy messes and empty tape dispensers in his wake.)

I also cherish their unique compliments of “You look like a princess, Mommy,” or “I like how your hair feels, Mom.”

 

5. Watching My Babies Sleep:

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.” And when the child isn’t being so lovely, oooh – naptime and bedtime can’t come soon enough! However, even when my kids have been driving me crazy, it’s amazing how precious it is to rock them to sleep and hold them close to you and study their sweet faces.

Of course, Elijah’s a bit too big to rock anymore, but he still melts my heart when I go in to check on him before I go to bed each night. Both he and Josiah usually require an adjustment of their blankets here or a tucking in there, with Josiah sometimes needing to be completely rearranged so he doesn’t fall off his bed (how he moves so much without being awake is rather puzzling). Those last-minute checks, with a whispered little prayer over them, are the perfect way to end even the hardest days.

 

There are many other little moments that I could mention (When Josiah takes my hand tightly to walk beside me; when Elijah’s sense of humor shines through, and he makes a really witty comment; the boys’ faces when they accomplish something they didn’t think they could, when they are loving and sweet to each other; listening to my boys when they pray and watching their personal relationship with and faith in God grow). I generally get to experience those each and every day with my children.

When I take the time to notice and appreciate those many special moments, how can any day be all that bad?
 WHAT EVERYDAY MOMENTS WITH YOUR CHILDREN ENCOURAGE YOU AS A MOM OR DAD?

 

 

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Let Me Be Singing: This Mother’s Anthem for Good & Bad Days

April 21, 2016
6 Comments
Life in Lape Haven: Let Me Be Singing: This Mother's Anthem for Good and Bad Days. As parents we have great days and rough days, but we never have to face them alone. We can rely on God's strength and find our joy in Him . This popular Christian worship song by Matt Redman has become my anthem and heart-cry, especially for those rough days. I want to be singing when the evening comes.

When I was in the thick of adjusting from being mommy of just one child to mommy of two children, there were some rough days. Not only was Josiah doing his newborn best to get us up as much as possible every night, but Elijah was showing his three-ness with a vengeance.

On those days, I struggled with holding onto the joy of being a mother, and it felt as though all that was left was the chaos. I would feel guilty and inadequate and overwhelmed. It wasn’t how I wanted to feel. I wanted to be able to find the good, like Pollyanna, and choose to be joyful, even when I was tired.

Around this time, I remember one Sunday when we were singing Matt Redman’s “10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord),” and it was as though the song was written as my own personal anthem, especially the first verse.

“The sun comes up, it’s a new day dawning
It’s time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes.”

Every morning I would rise with great intentions to have a better day than the one before, to face “whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me” with a determination to still “be singing when the evening comes.” I didn’t want to end every day defeated and beat down. But when your alarm clock is a baby crying or a toddler’s whining, you can feel drained before you even get out of bed.

But, lo and behold! The answer is in the chorus of the same song:

“Bless the Lord, O my soul, O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before, O my soul
I’ll worship Your holy name”

It was a reminder that, yes, we can choose to bless the Lord in everything. We can encourage ourselves in the Lord like David did (1 Samuel 30:6). We don’t have to let the frustrations overwhelm us. We can look to Him.

I think I get most overwhelmed and frustrated when I feel as though I have to do it all, and do it all myself. I’m the mom. When it’s just my boys and me at home, I’m the lone adult – I fix the food, I change the diapers, I soothe the crankies, I clean the messes, I enforce the rules. Sometimes those things are not easy or joyful.

Plus, I know that no matter how awesome of a super mom I am, I am not enough on my own. Moms, Dads – we’re not enough, despite what some cutesy, well-intentioned memes or inspirational quotes tell us. On my own, alone, I will never be enough for my children. I can’t be.

And yet, WITH God…well, all things are possible.

I don’t HAVE to do it all on my own or alone.

If the first verse is the cry of my heart, and the chorus is the reminder of “from whence cometh my help,” then the second verse is the reassurance that God has me (and my children) in His hands, and that’s a beautiful place to be.

“You’re rich in love, and You’re slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find”

Since God has given me my children, He has equipped me to parent them, and when I rely on Him, then His joy can be my strength on the good days and the rough ones. He loves us all richly, and He is patient and kind. He’s forgiving when I make mistakes in parenting my boys, and He’s there to guide me and help me do it right. He gives me wisdom when I have no idea what I’m doing, and He helps me see the humor in so many of their innocent, but disastrous messes.

It’s not just looking for the good, but looking to His goodness, that will have me still “singing when the evening comes.”


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Feature image courtesy of Pixabay/Pexels.

Confessions of a Preacher’s Kid: #4 – True Ministry Isn’t Easy or Glamorous

April 11, 2016
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Confessions of a Preacher's Kid: #4 - True ministry isn't easy or glamorous. Having grown up as a pastor's kid, I saw what it meant to really minister and pastor. It isn't an easy or glamorous path, but it's a rewarding one.

Recently I’ve been giving you a behind-the-scenes peek at what growing up as a preacher’s kid was like and how that has shaped me, my faith, and my parenting. If you’ve missed my first three confessions, you can catch up easily (Confession #1, Confession #2, Confession #3).

TODAY’S CONFESSION:
True Ministry ISN’T Easy or Glamorous

Growing up in a pastor’s family, I understood from an early age that ministry – true ministry – wasn’t an easy or glamorous path.

Sure, there were the infamous televangelists with glittering sets, personal planes, and hair that was way too big, who made it seem as though being a preacher was kind of like being a celebrity. But that idea is as false as Tammy Faye’s eyelashes. 😉

Watching my parents’ lives, I knew the truth.

Shepherding a flock, leading God’s people, and following His call isn’t easy. In fact, when my dad first felt called to ministry as a young man, an experienced man of God told him, “If you can do anything else, do that.”

Because he knew that ministry and pastoring aren’t for the faint of heart. They’re for those with a servant’s heart.

Confessions of a Preacher's Kid: #4 - True ministry isn't easy or glamorous. Having grown up as a pastor's kid, I saw what it meant to really minister and pastor. It isn't an easy or glamorous path, but it's a rewarding one.

My parents have served wherever God has led them because they couldn’t “do anything else.”

When I was first born, that meant living in a small apartment in Alabama where the only furniture initially was my baby bed and a cot for my older brother. Later, God’s path took us to Florida, Ohio, West Virginia, and Georgia, and no matter what “position” of leadership my parents ministered from, it was never about them.

God, need me to lead junior high kids? Really?!? Okay.

Need me to play piano as the back-up? Here I am.

Need me to lead praise & worship? Alright.

Need us to reach out to this hurting couple and counsel them? Our home is open.

Need us to start a church over there? We’ll go.

Need us to minister to children and families in THAT part of town? We can love them!

Need us to forgive and keep giving when we’ve been hurt? It’s hard, but our focus is YOU. (Help us.)

Being in ministry, leading, especially pastoring, means putting yourself to the side, “not my will, but Yours be done.”

It means calls on the phone or knocks at your door at all hours of the day from a person or family in crisis or hours in the hospital with the sick or dying. It’s conducting funerals and visiting prisoners.  It means being a part of the church but still being slightly set apart (similar to parenting – you can’t always aim for “best friend” when you need to be the leader). It’s being the “watchman on the tower,” speaking the hard truths that some never want to hear.  It’s dealing with petty squabbles or huge divisions in a congregation. It means pouring, and pouring, and pouring into someone only to have them turn their back on God and you. It’s protecting your sheep from the wolves and doing spiritual warfare on their behalf. It’s loving people deeply, no matter what.

It’s hours on your knees, in His presence, seeking His face, praying for direction and leading because your responsibility is not just a big one, it’s an eternal one.

Confessions of a Preacher's Kid: #4 - True ministry isn't easy or glamorous. Having grown up as a pastor's kid, I saw what it meant to really minister and pastor. It isn't an easy or glamorous path, but it's a rewarding one.

But it’s not a responsibility without joys and rewards. God is kind of good like that. 🙂

Allowing God to use you in ministry means seeing a person’s life changed and made new when they put their trust in Jesus. It’s baptizing new believers, counseling engaged couples, officiating weddings, and dedicating babies. It’s seeing God move through His people as they grow in Him. It’s feeling like a proud parent when the congregation begins to serve and minister, too, and as a body you reach your community with Jesus’s love. It’s being surrounded by the Holy Spirit’s comfort and guidance, knowing you can rely on God to never fail you, to give you the right words and actions just when you need them, and to supply every need you may have. It’s trusting His strength in your weakness.

It’s feeling humbled and amazed that God would choose to work through you.

And while some might think that these lists apply mostly to my dad since he was the “pastor,” there is no separating my parents in this (or other pastor and wife teams that I’ve known). They are one, and God has used them as such. (My dad learned early on not to discount how God could use my mother). I promise you, from personal experience, they minister most powerfully and effectively when they are side-by-side. It’s kind of a beautiful thing to witness.

I’m glad I’ve had that unique opportunity all of my life. You know, being the preacher’s kid and all. 🙂

Confessions of a Preacher's Kid: #4 - True ministry isn't easy or glamorous. Having grown up as a pastor's kid, I saw what it meant to really minister and pastor. It isn't an easy or glamorous path, but it's a rewarding one.

My family when I was about 5. Don’t we look all 80s glamorous?

I’d like to challenge you, my readers, in two things based on not only my experiences as a PK but also my own experiences in ministry, both by myself and with my husband.

Number 1: PRAY for your pastor and leaders. LOVE them. They aren’t perfect, but trust me, they love you and pray for you.

Number 2: Don’t expect them to be the only “ministers” in your church. God has given you talents, abilities, experiences with Him, and a purpose in Him. You have a part in sharing Jesus with the world. You make contact with people every day that your pastor may never meet. Get to “going” per the Great Commission – speak with your neighbors, reach out in your community, volunteer in the nursery or children’s ministry, mentor and disciple a teen, encourage your fellow church members, go on a mission trip, give, pray, love.

Even though ministry (even in the smallest stages) has its potential sacrifices, problems, and hurts, the joys,  rewards, and satisfaction of knowing you’ve been obedient to God’s call on YOUR life far, far outweigh them.

“And He sat down, called the twelve, and said to them, “If anyone desires to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all.”~ Mark 9:35

“He said to him the third time, ‘Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?’ Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, ‘Do you love Me?’ And he said to Him, ‘Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed My sheep.’” ~ John 21:17

“And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ— from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.” ~ Ephesians 4:11-16

Looking into the Tomb

March 23, 2016
4 Comments
Life in Lape Haven: Looking into the Tomb. Just as it was for the women who came that Sunday morning long ago to prepare the body of Jesus, it can be intimidating, mysterious, and a little scary to look into the tomb and be reminded of sin, death, and sacrifice, but the empty tomb is there to show us Life and Victory.

I didn’t want to do it.

I remember – I really didn’t want to do it.

I was 6 or 7 years old, standing on the stage of our little church, going through dress rehearsal for the children’s Easter production, and playing the part of one of the women who came to anoint Jesus’s body at the tomb. I’m not sure which woman I was supposed to be. All I remember for certain was that my character was supposed to be the one who looked into the empty tomb.

And I didn’t want to do that.

Little girl me didn’t want to look into the giant black hole of the tomb…which wasn’t even a hole. It was a picture, painted on a large canvas as part of our set and scenery. My own mother had painted it.

I knew it wasn’t real, but still – there was something intimidating, almost mysterious, and a little scary about it. (Sometimes having a good imagination backfires…)

So, they switched me with one of the other girls playing another one of the women at the tomb. One who didn’t have to pretend to look in.

It’s laughable now that I was so hesitant. It was just a set.

Or maybe I was just really in character that day.

Life in Lape Haven: Looking into the Tomb. Just as it was for the women who came that Sunday morning long ago to prepare the body of Jesus, it can be intimidating, mysterious, and a little scary to look into the tomb and be reminded of sin, death, and sacrifice, but the empty tomb is there to show us Life and Victory.

Wouldn’t the women who’d come to prepare Jesus’s body be slightly unsettled to see the huge stone rolled to one side, exposing the opening of the dark tomb? Wouldn’t they hesitate a little before they went in to investigate?

I’m certain there was something intimidating, very mysterious, and a little bit scary about it.

Yet once they went in, well…it was probably still somewhat intimidating, very mysterious, and a little bit scarier.

Jesus wasn’t there, but an angel or two were.


It wasn’t what they expected when they’d set out early that morning. They’d seen Jesus die, knew that His body had been placed in this borrowed tomb, and though they were no doubt grieving deeply, they were dutifully coming to prepare His body and find some closure.

To find an empty tomb instead?

I don’t know that they were instantly aware of what it all meant. In Mark’s telling of that morning, he says of the women in Chapter 16, verse 8, “So they went out quickly and fled from the tomb, for they trembled and were amazed. And they said nothing to anyone, for they were afraid.”

After the angel tells them that Jesus is alive and to go tell His disciples that He’s going to meet them all in Galilee (verses 6 & 7), the women flee, trembling, amazed, and afraid until Mary Magdalene actually sees Jesus in the garden later (verse 9).

I’ve often wondered why Easter isn’t celebrated as “big” as Christmas is, even among Christians. Yes, we celebrate Easter, but not with tons of decorations, two months of songs, multiple parties and gatherings, or any of that.

Easter is the biggest point in human history, the most triumphant and victorious, but its joy is different than the joy of Christmas time.

I think the answer is in those verses in Mark.

It’s easy to look into the manger. It’s a lot harder to look into the tomb.

[clickToTweet tweet=”‘It’s easy to look into the manger. It’s a lot harder to look into the tomb.’ ” quote=”It’s easy to look into the manger. It’s a lot harder to look into the tomb.”]

The tomb reminds us of our mortality and our sin. It reminds us of sacrifice and struggle.

Looking into the tomb is intimidating, mysterious, and a little scary.

However, it takes looking in to see that it’s empty, and that emptiness means that sin and death were defeated, that Jesus was and is victorious, and that through Him, we are, too. It’s through the empty tomb that Jesus brought us life.

We may not fully understand the entirety of the miracle, but even an inkling of it is enough to leave us trembling and amazed and in awe of our Mighty God, His love, and His power.

This Easter, take a good look into the tomb. It may be intimidating, mysterious, and a little bit scary, but it’s still empty.

Feature picture courtesy of CreationSwap/Joel Millhouse.

 

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Why Our Child Goes to Public School

March 3, 2016
13 Comments
Why Our Child Goes to Public School, Life in Lape Haven. When we prayed for direction about our child's education, God's answer was public school and trusting Him.

Toward the end of Elijah’s kindergarten year, as I dropped him off at school, I noticed the message on the school marquee sign for the next year’s kindergarten registration. I could hardly believe that it had been almost a year since that same announcement had made my heart sad.

The previous year at that time, Brad and I were still debating somewhat about what God wanted us to do about Elijah and school. Should we home school him, look into the cost of private schools, or enroll him in public school? Elijah was more than ready to start school, so waiting another year wasn’t an option.

Life in Lape Haven: Why Our Child Goes to Public School. When we prayed for direction about our child's education, God's answer was public school and trusting Him.

Public school really wasn’t my first choice, even though I received most of my education in public schools. My time in school was several years ago, though, and with all the changes in our culture and our world, I wasn’t sure about registering my 4-year-old little boy to attend public school.

Of course, sending him anywhere else, even a private Christian school, would have been hard for me. I loved having him home with me every day, and he did well on ABCMouse.com and learned easily, so I did consider homeschooling him. I would have enjoyed it, at least most of the time, I think. I just wasn’t ready to send my child out into the world.

However, my husband and I prayed about it and waited for God’s leading.

God’s answer? “Nope,” to both homeschooling and private school.

When that March came around, I walked into our local elementary school and registered our little boy for kindergarten. And while registration was the first step, the hardest was going to be his first day.

However, God was already ready to prove to me that He was in control. (He is gracious enough to remind us of what we should already know).

A few days before Elijah’s first day was the school open house where Elijah and I got to go through the school, explore his classroom, and most importantly, meet his teacher. Elijah was a bit shy since he was both nervous and excited, but all it took was a short conversation about her room theme of bees. Elijah found out that his teacher was a beekeeper just like my dad. Then they talked about all kinds of bugs, and Elijah was sold. His teacher was ready for Elijah’s curiosity and energy, and I knew that it was going to be a good year for my little boy.

Life in Lape Haven: Why Our Child Goes to Public School. When we prayed for direction about our child's education, God's answer was public school and trusting Him.

It was like God just put His arm around me, giving me peace.

In prepping Elijah for his first day, I felt compelled to share with him about how Brad and I had prayed for God’s direction. I told him, “Since this is where God wants you to go, then God has a plan and purpose for you here in this specific school, in this particular class, and with this exact teacher.”

I reminded myself of that a few days later as my hubby and I watched our little boy follow his teacher down the hall to his classroom on his very first day of school. Then I went home and cried and wrote about it.

My baby was out in the world without me for the first time. I couldn’t filter what others would say or do, couldn’t protect him, or comfort him. He was completely out of my hands, and I was placing him in God’s.

Even though I can trust God to be with me in difficult times, it’s harder to trust Him with my children, which seems silly. Either I trust Him with everything, even my children, or I don’t.

It’s important that I do.

Life in Lape Haven: Why Our Child Goes to Public School. When we prayed for direction about our child's education, God's answer was public school and trusting Him.

How is Elijah going to learn to put his trust in God in every situation if he never has to? 

Slowly the days passed, and it got easier to walk away from the school gate every morning. Elijah loved school, and he was thriving.

Confirmation of God’s design in it all started to trickle in.

First and foremost was Elijah’s teacher. She was the exact teacher that he needed. She loved science (including bugs), appreciated Elijah’s thought processes, and enjoyed hearing how he thinks things through. She encouraged his curiosity and challenged him to do his best and learn more. Elijah is a very bright boy, and thankfully his teacher kept him interested and engaged. She applauded his creativity, allowed him to read “books” he’d written (mostly pictures) to the class, and enthusiastically accepted all the drawing and “creations” he took to her almost daily.

Elijah was always excited about his day and anxious to learn.

However, the other big thing that reiterated God’s plan was seeing how confidently Elijah lived out his faith on his own and the witness he was to those around him in school. He had some issues earlier that year with a little girl who was being mean to others and acting like a bully. Despite that, Elijah showed such compassion and patience for her over the months of school, trying to help her, sharing pencils when she needed them, being her friend as much as he could, and praying for her.

He also peppered his schoolwork with Bible story references and Jesus, and he wrote several journal entries that talked about God.

 

He invited his teacher to his Christmas program, and sure enough, she attended and sat with my family that Sunday at our church.

Then there was the day he came home from school and nonchalantly told me about how he’d spent his recess PRAYING ON THE PLAYGROUND, kneeling down off to the side of the slides, and just talking to God.

None of those things are things we had told him to do, besides being nice to everyone and praying for others. It was his own light shining from his own love for God, not in a noisy, flaunting way, but naturally and gently and authentically.

Those moments wouldn’t have happened if he’d been homeschooled, and it might not have seemed as genuine had he been in a Christian school setting.

Because we trusted God and allowed our child a chance to trust Him, Elijah had (and continues to have) the opportunity to make an impact right where God wanted him to.

Trusting God and sharing His love with others – that’s one of the most important lessons any of us can ever learn.

 

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A Dream Is Just a Wish Unless It’s Also God’s Plan

February 22, 2016
3 Comments
Life in Lape Haven: A Dream is Just a Wish unless it's also God's Plan. Sometimes the desires of our heart are not in God's plans for us. Other times our dreams come true, but in His timing. Either way, the crucial point is trusting that His plans for us are the best and being willing to accept whatever they are.

When I was a little girl, I loved my fairy tales and Disney princesses, especially Cinderella. She was my girl. Sweet, hard-working, beautiful, and determined to make the best of a bad situation, she always held on to the hope of her dreams coming true.

Having a solid affinity for the stories and romance, one of the dearest dreams to my heart was one day meeting my own Prince Charming and beginning our happily ever after, helpful mice being optional.

Inspired by my parents’ love story where they met in junior high and married the summer after my mom graduated high school, I grew up hoping to meet my Prince early, as in while I was in high school or slightly thereafter. The idea of spending as much of my life as possible with my guy and having our family while we were young was my ideal plan and dream.

As it turned out, that wasn’t God’s plan for me. 

Jesus had my heart from the time I was a very little girl, around 5 years old, so even though I swooned over Disney movies and books like Little Women and Anne of Green Gables growing up, I was confident that He was orchestrating a beautiful love story for me that would match any that I’d read about or watched on the big screen. Again inspired by my parents, I began praying for my future husband when I was 10 or so.

My prince was going to be a man of God, first and foremost. He would love God, and he would adore me. He would have a heart for ministry, love children, be a diligent worker, be intelligent, have a delightful sense of humor, and be handsome and charming (of course), plus a lot of other awesome stuff.

By the time I was old enough to start dating, which in my family was 16, there were very few guys whom I would actually have wanted to date. I had guys that were good friends but nothing more. So, I prayed more consistently for my guy and spent my high school years being romanced by my True First Love, growing closer to God and finding ways to use my talents and giftings to minister to others and bless Him. I was aware of the boys around me, but I was patiently waiting for God to bring my guy along when the time was right.

After high school, my family moved to a very small town (one-traffic-light small) where my dad began pastoring a church, and I began to wonder what God was doing. Despite having graduated with honors, I didn’t feel as though I was supposed to pursue a college education. Instead, God led me to a job at the local weekly newspaper.

So, I worked, I continued to serve in ministry where there was opportunity, and I continued to pray for God to lead me to my prince (or him to me – I wasn’t picky).

As time went by, we moved to Ohio. I worked at a couple of different jobs, served in Children’s and Youth ministries, developed good friendships with both girls and guys, and was still single. The only guys I knew of who had wanted to ask me out since high school were the creepy uncle of a friend (the man was older than my parents), the strange dad of one of the youth girls I taught at church (almost as old as my parents), and later a heebie-jeebies-inducing guy at work. I was getting a little discouraged. My Cinderella, “a dream is a wish” heart was confused and frustrated.

My sweet mom was kind enough to point out the positives to all the weirdos, though:  “At least you don’t have to wonder if they are ‘the one,’ because they clearly are NOT.”

Of course, that didn’t stop my questions for God and the doubts about myself. Of all the dreams in my heart, my biggest dream and desire aside from following God was to be a wife and mother. But what if that wasn’t His plan for me?

Life in Lape Haven: A Dream is Just a Wish unless it's also God's Plan. Sometimes the desires of our heart are not in God's plans for us. Other times our dreams come true, but in His timing. Either way, the crucial point is trusting that His plans for us are the best and being willing to accept whatever they are.

Dressed as a princess for our children’s church’s Kingdom theme.

Nearing my mid-twenties, suddenly it seemed as if God was going to answer my prayers when I began seeing a Christian guy that I’d known a long time. However, even during our relationship, I felt unsettled, as though I should be watching the horizon.

Clearly, that wasn’t a good sign, and shortly after, I was packing up my dreams again and really asking God, “What is YOUR plan for me?”

I thought I had been seeking Him and His will for me, but I had my ideas, my hopes, my dreams, and my ideals. I needed to surrender even my deepest desires to whatever HE desired for me. I thought that I had, but was I willing to never be a wife, never be a mommy, if that’s what He called me to? I sincerely hoped and prayed that that was NOT His plan, but I had to be willing to accept it if it were.

So, I came to a point of complete, complete surrender, and it was hard, but I knew that “unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.” (Psalm 127:1) I had a plan and a dream, but if it wasn’t God’s plan for me, it wouldn’t work.

It wasn’t easy letting that go and saying, “Not my will, but Yours,” but it was necessary.

A few months later, I found myself being nudged to join eHarmony, and I fought it. A LOT. Online dating sites were NOT for me. Surely, God was teasing. I mean, seriously.

But God was persistent (as I’ve shared before, He has to be pretty persistent with me sometimes), and then He got my mom in on it.  I mentioned to her that I had thought of going on the site to just do the personality test, and she was immediately encouraging me to go ahead and sign up for the whole site.

So, I did…under protest.

Not long after that, I was matched with Brad.

He was everything that I’d prayed for in a Prince Charming, and then some. He was a man of God, first and foremost. He loved God, and he quickly came to adore me. He was leading the youth ministry at his church, loved his little niece, had a good job at which he worked hard, he was smart,  he had a goofy sense of humor,  and he was handsome and charming (in his way), plus a lot of other awesome stuff.

Suddenly, there I was – at the beginning of my own fairy tale. (Actually, God had been writing it all my life. It just had a lengthier prologue than some. ;))

“A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

Feature picture courtesy of Picture Bliss Photography.