Life in Lape Haven

Category - Encouragement

5 Everyday Moments That Make Being a Mom Totally Worth It

May 2, 2016
7 Comments
5 Everyday Moments That Make Being a Mom Totally Worth It, Life in Lape Haven. Being a parent is hard, and some days are difficult. However, even on the roughest days, there are moments that can remind us of how wonderful it is to be a mom or dad and how precious our children are to us.

As a mom, I know that some days, parenting is just hard. Children can be demanding, cranky, destructive (usually accidentally), disobedient, whiny, messy, and just exhausting. However, I have found that even on those really rough days, there are still moments sprinkled throughout the chaos that remind me that my children are truly gifts from God and being a mom really is worth it.

Here are five of my favorite everyday moments that make being a mother the best calling ever.

5 Everyday Moments That Make Being a Mom Totally Worth It, Life in Lape Haven. Being a parent is hard, and some days are difficult. However, even on the roughest days, there are moments that can remind us of how wonderful it is to be a mom or dad and how precious our children are to us.

1. Cuddles and Snuggles:

My boys are all pretty affectionate little guys, and they love cuddles and snuggles. Whether it’s climbing into bed with Mommy and Daddy on Saturday morning (so much sweeter when they wait until after 8 am!), or just scooting up really close to us on the couch, our boys are cuddlers. They want to be with us.

Josiah likes to sit beside me as I’m typing or editing pictures, laying his little hand on my lower arm and his head against my upper arm, and just watch me. Elijah’s tall enough now that he can almost rest his head on my shoulder. Even the most frustrating days can be softened when they are being sweet and tender like that.

 

2. Giggles:

No matter how bad a day is, my boys will be laughing at some point, those deep-belly giggles that are impossible to resist. They can be fighting and arguing with each other one minute, then laughing with each other the next. And their joy is contagious. Of course, it’s even better when I get to be the one to bring out the giggles in them with silliness and tickles and fun. Laughter is a beautiful remedy for discouragement and exhaustion (I laugh even easier when I’m tired. Haha!) After all, the Bible tell us, “A merry heart does good, like medicine.” (Proverbs 17:22)

 

3. Unexpected Hugs & Kisses:

Having mentioned our boys’ affectionate natures, is it any surprise that I get treated to random hugs and kisses throughout my day? Josiah’s thing is to give me “all the hugs in the world,” which is basically a really tight, prolonged clinging sort of hug. Even though he will have moments when he doesn’t want ME to give HIM hugs or kisses, he loves to surprise me with them.

Elijah, however, has never rejected a hug that I can remember. He’ll give me a “good morning hug,” a hug before and after school, and hugs “just because” throughout the day, but his specialty is his bedtime hug, where he basically lets you think you’re just leaning down for one last kiss before he goes to sleep, and he’ll latch on, both arms around your neck, and keep you there. (And giggle.) He’s surprisingly strong for his age. He’s also the most likely to come up and give Mom random kisses on the cheek.


 

4. “I love you, Mommy”:

I don’t know if there is anything more encouraging or refreshing on a difficult day than when your child looks you in the eyes and sweetly and sincerely tells you, “I love you, Mommy.” Even if they are echoing your words with an “I love you, too,” it has a way of refocusing you to how blessed you are to be the mother of that child (yes, that one, the one who just a few minutes ago flushed his training underwear down the toilet – true story. Or that one, who is so driven to create that he keeps ransacking the kitchen junk drawer and recycle bin, even when he’s been told not to, to “make something,” leaving crazy messes and empty tape dispensers in his wake.)

I also cherish their unique compliments of “You look like a princess, Mommy,” or “I like how your hair feels, Mom.”

 

5. Watching My Babies Sleep:

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.” And when the child isn’t being so lovely, oooh – naptime and bedtime can’t come soon enough! However, even when my kids have been driving me crazy, it’s amazing how precious it is to rock them to sleep and hold them close to you and study their sweet faces.

Of course, Elijah’s a bit too big to rock anymore, but he still melts my heart when I go in to check on him before I go to bed each night. Both he and Josiah usually require an adjustment of their blankets here or a tucking in there, with Josiah sometimes needing to be completely rearranged so he doesn’t fall off his bed (how he moves so much without being awake is rather puzzling). Those last-minute checks, with a whispered little prayer over them, are the perfect way to end even the hardest days.

 

There are many other little moments that I could mention (When Josiah takes my hand tightly to walk beside me; when Elijah’s sense of humor shines through, and he makes a really witty comment; the boys’ faces when they accomplish something they didn’t think they could, when they are loving and sweet to each other; listening to my boys when they pray and watching their personal relationship with and faith in God grow). I generally get to experience those each and every day with my children.

When I take the time to notice and appreciate those many special moments, how can any day be all that bad?
 WHAT EVERYDAY MOMENTS WITH YOUR CHILDREN ENCOURAGE YOU AS A MOM OR DAD?

 

 

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Let Me Be Singing: This Mother’s Anthem for Good & Bad Days

April 21, 2016
6 Comments
Life in Lape Haven: Let Me Be Singing: This Mother's Anthem for Good and Bad Days. As parents we have great days and rough days, but we never have to face them alone. We can rely on God's strength and find our joy in Him . This popular Christian worship song by Matt Redman has become my anthem and heart-cry, especially for those rough days. I want to be singing when the evening comes.

When I was in the thick of adjusting from being mommy of just one child to mommy of two children, there were some rough days. Not only was Josiah doing his newborn best to get us up as much as possible every night, but Elijah was showing his three-ness with a vengeance.

On those days, I struggled with holding onto the joy of being a mother, and it felt as though all that was left was the chaos. I would feel guilty and inadequate and overwhelmed. It wasn’t how I wanted to feel. I wanted to be able to find the good, like Pollyanna, and choose to be joyful, even when I was tired.

Around this time, I remember one Sunday when we were singing Matt Redman’s “10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord),” and it was as though the song was written as my own personal anthem, especially the first verse.

“The sun comes up, it’s a new day dawning
It’s time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes.”

Every morning I would rise with great intentions to have a better day than the one before, to face “whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me” with a determination to still “be singing when the evening comes.” I didn’t want to end every day defeated and beat down. But when your alarm clock is a baby crying or a toddler’s whining, you can feel drained before you even get out of bed.

But, lo and behold! The answer is in the chorus of the same song:

“Bless the Lord, O my soul, O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before, O my soul
I’ll worship Your holy name”

It was a reminder that, yes, we can choose to bless the Lord in everything. We can encourage ourselves in the Lord like David did (1 Samuel 30:6). We don’t have to let the frustrations overwhelm us. We can look to Him.

I think I get most overwhelmed and frustrated when I feel as though I have to do it all, and do it all myself. I’m the mom. When it’s just my boys and me at home, I’m the lone adult – I fix the food, I change the diapers, I soothe the crankies, I clean the messes, I enforce the rules. Sometimes those things are not easy or joyful.

Plus, I know that no matter how awesome of a super mom I am, I am not enough on my own. Moms, Dads – we’re not enough, despite what some cutesy, well-intentioned memes or inspirational quotes tell us. On my own, alone, I will never be enough for my children. I can’t be.

And yet, WITH God…well, all things are possible.

I don’t HAVE to do it all on my own or alone.

If the first verse is the cry of my heart, and the chorus is the reminder of “from whence cometh my help,” then the second verse is the reassurance that God has me (and my children) in His hands, and that’s a beautiful place to be.

“You’re rich in love, and You’re slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find”

Since God has given me my children, He has equipped me to parent them, and when I rely on Him, then His joy can be my strength on the good days and the rough ones. He loves us all richly, and He is patient and kind. He’s forgiving when I make mistakes in parenting my boys, and He’s there to guide me and help me do it right. He gives me wisdom when I have no idea what I’m doing, and He helps me see the humor in so many of their innocent, but disastrous messes.

It’s not just looking for the good, but looking to His goodness, that will have me still “singing when the evening comes.”


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Feature image courtesy of Pixabay/Pexels.

The Hope of Spring

March 17, 2016
1 Comment
Life in Lape Haven: The Hope of Spring. From azaleas in Georgia to forsythia in Ohio, the arrival of spring is always a time of hope, joy, and new life.

When I was in high school, my family lived in southeast Georgia, about an hour from Savannah, and while winters down south are generally pretty mild, especially compared to what we were used to in Ohio, we always looked forward to spring and the blooming of the azaleas in early March.

If you’ve never been in southeast Georgia when the azaleas are in bloom, I’m sorry – because it is absolutely gorgeous. At our house we had several azalea bushes that contributed to the overall beautification of the area, and it always brought me so much joy just to see the brightly-colored blossoms all around.

Life in Lape Haven: The Hope of Spring. From azaleas in Georgia to forsythia in Ohio, the arrival of spring is always a time of hope, joy, and new life.

Photo courtesy of pixabay.com

Now that we’ve been back up north for 16 years, spring isn’t marked by azaleas anymore, but rather by the forsythia.

In Ohio, we pray for the forsythia to bloom, especially when it has been a cold, harsh winter.

I don’t really think the forsythia is a very pretty plant. There’s no greenery on it when the yellow blooms appear (since the flowers are actually the starts of the leaves), so it’s more like sticks with some random yellow petals on them until the plant fills out a bit more. It’s not nearly as breath-taking as an azalea, even if the bright color is nice after a long season of brown.

Life in Lape Haven: The Hope of Spring. From azaleas in Georgia to forsythia in Ohio, the arrival of spring is always a time of hope, joy, and new life.

But unlike the azalea, whose gorgeous display is the prize itself, it’s the promise that comes with the forsythia’s first blossoms that make it such a wonderful sight to see.

According to old weather folklore, once the forsythia blooms, there are only three more snows left (and usually only flurries) before you are done with winter, and it is truly spring!


Seeing the little yellow blossoms is like glimpsing the light at the end of a cold, dreary tunnel. For as long as I’ve known about this little weather predictor (my mom told us all about it), I’ve never seen it fail. I’ve watched and counted the snow falls every year. Brad thought that I was crazy until he, too, started keeping an eye out for the forsythia’s first sprouts of yellow and saw that the folklore is true.

Now he’s the one asking if “that plant” has bloomed yet, particularly on very gloomy, chilly days in late February or early March. He’s even suggested that we just bring one inside to “help” it bloom sooner.

Life in Lape Haven: The Hope of Spring. From azaleas in Georgia to forsythia in Ohio, the arrival of spring is always a time of hope, joy, and new life.

By the end of winter, even if it’s mild where you live, we are all longing for the hope, joy, and new life of spring.

Is it any wonder, then, that Easter falls during this season?  Just like the forsythia’s first colors promise only three more snows and the hope for freedom from winter,  Jesus’s death meant only three more days until He rose again, bringing a beautiful, glorious hope of forgiveness, joy, and new life in Him and a true freedom more amazing than even the azaleas in full bloom.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead” ~ 1 Peter 1:3


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Why Our Child Goes to Public School

March 3, 2016
13 Comments
Why Our Child Goes to Public School, Life in Lape Haven. When we prayed for direction about our child's education, God's answer was public school and trusting Him.

Toward the end of Elijah’s kindergarten year, as I dropped him off at school, I noticed the message on the school marquee sign for the next year’s kindergarten registration. I could hardly believe that it had been almost a year since that same announcement had made my heart sad.

The previous year at that time, Brad and I were still debating somewhat about what God wanted us to do about Elijah and school. Should we home school him, look into the cost of private schools, or enroll him in public school? Elijah was more than ready to start school, so waiting another year wasn’t an option.

Life in Lape Haven: Why Our Child Goes to Public School. When we prayed for direction about our child's education, God's answer was public school and trusting Him.

Public school really wasn’t my first choice, even though I received most of my education in public schools. My time in school was several years ago, though, and with all the changes in our culture and our world, I wasn’t sure about registering my 4-year-old little boy to attend public school.

Of course, sending him anywhere else, even a private Christian school, would have been hard for me. I loved having him home with me every day, and he did well on ABCMouse.com and learned easily, so I did consider homeschooling him. I would have enjoyed it, at least most of the time, I think. I just wasn’t ready to send my child out into the world.

However, my husband and I prayed about it and waited for God’s leading.

God’s answer? “Nope,” to both homeschooling and private school.

When that March came around, I walked into our local elementary school and registered our little boy for kindergarten. And while registration was the first step, the hardest was going to be his first day.

However, God was already ready to prove to me that He was in control. (He is gracious enough to remind us of what we should already know).

A few days before Elijah’s first day was the school open house where Elijah and I got to go through the school, explore his classroom, and most importantly, meet his teacher. Elijah was a bit shy since he was both nervous and excited, but all it took was a short conversation about her room theme of bees. Elijah found out that his teacher was a beekeeper just like my dad. Then they talked about all kinds of bugs, and Elijah was sold. His teacher was ready for Elijah’s curiosity and energy, and I knew that it was going to be a good year for my little boy.

Life in Lape Haven: Why Our Child Goes to Public School. When we prayed for direction about our child's education, God's answer was public school and trusting Him.

It was like God just put His arm around me, giving me peace.

In prepping Elijah for his first day, I felt compelled to share with him about how Brad and I had prayed for God’s direction. I told him, “Since this is where God wants you to go, then God has a plan and purpose for you here in this specific school, in this particular class, and with this exact teacher.”

I reminded myself of that a few days later as my hubby and I watched our little boy follow his teacher down the hall to his classroom on his very first day of school. Then I went home and cried and wrote about it.

My baby was out in the world without me for the first time. I couldn’t filter what others would say or do, couldn’t protect him, or comfort him. He was completely out of my hands, and I was placing him in God’s.

Even though I can trust God to be with me in difficult times, it’s harder to trust Him with my children, which seems silly. Either I trust Him with everything, even my children, or I don’t.

It’s important that I do.

Life in Lape Haven: Why Our Child Goes to Public School. When we prayed for direction about our child's education, God's answer was public school and trusting Him.

How is Elijah going to learn to put his trust in God in every situation if he never has to? 

Slowly the days passed, and it got easier to walk away from the school gate every morning. Elijah loved school, and he was thriving.

Confirmation of God’s design in it all started to trickle in.

First and foremost was Elijah’s teacher. She was the exact teacher that he needed. She loved science (including bugs), appreciated Elijah’s thought processes, and enjoyed hearing how he thinks things through. She encouraged his curiosity and challenged him to do his best and learn more. Elijah is a very bright boy, and thankfully his teacher kept him interested and engaged. She applauded his creativity, allowed him to read “books” he’d written (mostly pictures) to the class, and enthusiastically accepted all the drawing and “creations” he took to her almost daily.

Elijah was always excited about his day and anxious to learn.

However, the other big thing that reiterated God’s plan was seeing how confidently Elijah lived out his faith on his own and the witness he was to those around him in school. He had some issues earlier that year with a little girl who was being mean to others and acting like a bully. Despite that, Elijah showed such compassion and patience for her over the months of school, trying to help her, sharing pencils when she needed them, being her friend as much as he could, and praying for her.

He also peppered his schoolwork with Bible story references and Jesus, and he wrote several journal entries that talked about God.

 

He invited his teacher to his Christmas program, and sure enough, she attended and sat with my family that Sunday at our church.

Then there was the day he came home from school and nonchalantly told me about how he’d spent his recess PRAYING ON THE PLAYGROUND, kneeling down off to the side of the slides, and just talking to God.

None of those things are things we had told him to do, besides being nice to everyone and praying for others. It was his own light shining from his own love for God, not in a noisy, flaunting way, but naturally and gently and authentically.

Those moments wouldn’t have happened if he’d been homeschooled, and it might not have seemed as genuine had he been in a Christian school setting.

Because we trusted God and allowed our child a chance to trust Him, Elijah had (and continues to have) the opportunity to make an impact right where God wanted him to.

Trusting God and sharing His love with others – that’s one of the most important lessons any of us can ever learn.

 

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The Parable of the Dough

February 25, 2016
8 Comments
Life in Lape Haven: The Parable of the Dough. Kneading and rolling out dough one day became a spiritual lesson on being pliable and receptive to God's work in our life.

The other day I was working on dinner, preparing some unleavened flatbread for Brad and me for our Daniel fast. I had made this bread before, and it worked out wonderfully.

However, this time as I mixed it up in my Kitchen Aid, it wasn’t coming together as easily, so I decided to knead it the rest of the way by hand. I had kneaded my previous batch, too, so I didn’t think this one would be much different.

But it was.

Every time I tried to knead the entire batch together, little pieces would crumble off. So I picked them back up and worked them in, and as I did, other pieces would fall. I’m not sure why, but this dough seemed a little tougher, even though I did exactly the same thing as with my other batch.

As I continued to knead it, the dough continued to break apart, rather than become more elastic and pliable, as it should.

Knowing that it needed some more moisture, I dribbled a little olive oil on it and continued my efforts. The oil helped, but it didn’t soften the dough as much as I had hoped. Since I didn’t have all day to play with it, and my hands were getting a little tired, I decided that I was just going to have to roll it out and see how things went.

Things didn’t go well.

Life in Lape Haven: The Parable of the Dough. Kneading and rolling out dough one day became a spiritual lesson on being pliable and receptive to God's work in our life.

Without the elasticity the dough needed, rolling it out into eight little circles of flatbread was a chore. I had to apply lots of pressure while using the rolling pin, so much so that I feared cracking the wood of it.

I finally resorted to half rolling and half pushing across the dough with the rolling pin, just to get it thin enough to bake. It wasn’t a pretty sight. The toughness of the dough resisted the process, causing it to crack in places, and the piece to end up as an odd, jagged sort-of-circle shape.

Toward the end of the tedious process, my hands were getting sore, and I was getting frustrated. It was such a fight.

As I worked a particularly stubborn piece, leaning my weight onto the rolling pin as I shoved it along the top of the dough, God said, “This is how it is when the clay resists the Potter.”

I paused and stepped back to look at the dough (and to give my hands a break.)

This dough felt so much different from the batch I’d made before. It was denser, tougher, and less flexible, and now it had crackles from the rolling pin stretching and pulling it, instead of being a smooth, pliable, and even circle of soft dough.

As I went back to rolling it out, I thought about how people sometimes fight against what God wants to do in them and how much harder that makes the process for them.

When we face difficult circumstances or when God is trying to stretch us and mold us more into what He’s created us for, rather than being flexible and pliable under His touch, sometimes we push back or stubbornly stand still, refusing to follow His nudging. Were we soft and elastic as we should be, His touch would feel much more gentle and the stretching less painful.

Looking at the last few pieces I needed to roll out, I was tired of fighting them.

I almost wrapped them up and put them in the refrigerator to mess with later (thankfully God doesn’t do that to us!). However, I decided to try to help them out a bit more, and I added a little warm water to my hands and worked it into the first dough ball.

Life in Lape Haven: The Parable of the Dough. Kneading and rolling out dough one day became a spiritual lesson on being pliable and receptive to God's work in our life.

How the dough should have looked, but didn’t.

Once the water was absorbed in, the dough was noticeably more workable and soft. Apparently I should have added a touch more water to the whole batch in the beginning, but I was in a hurry, trying to get dinner underway while keeping my ears attuned to my boys playing in the other room. Lesson learned. I did the same thing to the remaining pieces.

(I know, some of you bakers were thinking that from the beginning of the story. I should have, but I was just hoping it would come together.)

As I rolled out the slightly easier pieces of dough, I continued to think about God’s analogy of the tough dough and us, as His children.

Because the tough dough didn’t represent someone who didn’t follow God. Later I realized that my dough was even more symbolic because it was unleavened. Leavening, such as yeast, in the Bible represented sin. So, my dough didn’t represent a sinful person.

It was us, those who claim to want to become more like Him that sometimes fight the work He’s doing to make us that way.

Going back over what I did with the bread, God pointed out other things, too.

Like the oil, and how even applying the oil to the bread didn’t make it as tender as it could be, even though it helped. In the Bible, oil is usually a symbol for the Holy Spirit. However even though He can draw us and woo us, and we can be in His presence, our hearts have to be receptive.

We have a part to play in being the workable, moldable dough for God to shape and use.

For my dough, I added water. That made the difference in the end.

When I thought about the water, all I kept hearing was “the washing of water with the Word,” which comes from Ephesians 5:26. “So that He might sanctify the church, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word [of God].” (Amplified version).

Being in the Word keeps our hearts receptive to God’s leading, God’s nudging, and God’s molding us. It shows us Who God is and how He’s called us to live. As we spend time in God’s Word and apply it to our lives, we become more like Him. Doesn’t the Bible tell us we are “transformed by the renewing of our minds”? (Romans 12:2)

But when we don’t have a clear picture of Who He Is and what He wants us to be, we’re more likely to resist those changes and to fight against the Potter as He works the clay from a lump into something beautiful and useful.

God’s Word gets to the heart of the matter, literally. Hebrews 4:12 says, “For the Word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intents of the heart.”

Do you want to be shapeable and transformed into what God wants you to be? Stay in the Word. Get it deep in your heart. Spend time in God’s presence. (You need both water and oil to make a decent dough.)

As for my flatbread…well, it wasn’t as pretty as the last batch, but it was still edible and tasty. As soon as I had baked them all, I stored them in a plastic bag together and sealed it. Keeping in the moisture while they cooled softened them all up a bit more, which was just what I wanted.

(Maybe that’s a good analogy for staying in fellowship with other believers, iron sharpening iron and all that.)

So, I encourage you to be soft dough today. Let God move and work in your heart so He can roll you out easily into exactly what He’s shaping you to be.

But now, O Lord, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You our potter; and all we are the work of Your hand. ~ Isaiah 64:8

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A Dream Is Just a Wish Unless It’s Also God’s Plan

February 22, 2016
3 Comments
Life in Lape Haven: A Dream is Just a Wish unless it's also God's Plan. Sometimes the desires of our heart are not in God's plans for us. Other times our dreams come true, but in His timing. Either way, the crucial point is trusting that His plans for us are the best and being willing to accept whatever they are.

When I was a little girl, I loved my fairy tales and Disney princesses, especially Cinderella. She was my girl. Sweet, hard-working, beautiful, and determined to make the best of a bad situation, she always held on to the hope of her dreams coming true.

Having a solid affinity for the stories and romance, one of the dearest dreams to my heart was one day meeting my own Prince Charming and beginning our happily ever after, helpful mice being optional.

Inspired by my parents’ love story where they met in junior high and married the summer after my mom graduated high school, I grew up hoping to meet my Prince early, as in while I was in high school or slightly thereafter. The idea of spending as much of my life as possible with my guy and having our family while we were young was my ideal plan and dream.

As it turned out, that wasn’t God’s plan for me. 

Jesus had my heart from the time I was a very little girl, around 5 years old, so even though I swooned over Disney movies and books like Little Women and Anne of Green Gables growing up, I was confident that He was orchestrating a beautiful love story for me that would match any that I’d read about or watched on the big screen. Again inspired by my parents, I began praying for my future husband when I was 10 or so.

My prince was going to be a man of God, first and foremost. He would love God, and he would adore me. He would have a heart for ministry, love children, be a diligent worker, be intelligent, have a delightful sense of humor, and be handsome and charming (of course), plus a lot of other awesome stuff.

By the time I was old enough to start dating, which in my family was 16, there were very few guys whom I would actually have wanted to date. I had guys that were good friends but nothing more. So, I prayed more consistently for my guy and spent my high school years being romanced by my True First Love, growing closer to God and finding ways to use my talents and giftings to minister to others and bless Him. I was aware of the boys around me, but I was patiently waiting for God to bring my guy along when the time was right.

After high school, my family moved to a very small town (one-traffic-light small) where my dad began pastoring a church, and I began to wonder what God was doing. Despite having graduated with honors, I didn’t feel as though I was supposed to pursue a college education. Instead, God led me to a job at the local weekly newspaper.

So, I worked, I continued to serve in ministry where there was opportunity, and I continued to pray for God to lead me to my prince (or him to me – I wasn’t picky).

As time went by, we moved to Ohio. I worked at a couple of different jobs, served in Children’s and Youth ministries, developed good friendships with both girls and guys, and was still single. The only guys I knew of who had wanted to ask me out since high school were the creepy uncle of a friend (the man was older than my parents), the strange dad of one of the youth girls I taught at church (almost as old as my parents), and later a heebie-jeebies-inducing guy at work. I was getting a little discouraged. My Cinderella, “a dream is a wish” heart was confused and frustrated.

My sweet mom was kind enough to point out the positives to all the weirdos, though:  “At least you don’t have to wonder if they are ‘the one,’ because they clearly are NOT.”

Of course, that didn’t stop my questions for God and the doubts about myself. Of all the dreams in my heart, my biggest dream and desire aside from following God was to be a wife and mother. But what if that wasn’t His plan for me?

Life in Lape Haven: A Dream is Just a Wish unless it's also God's Plan. Sometimes the desires of our heart are not in God's plans for us. Other times our dreams come true, but in His timing. Either way, the crucial point is trusting that His plans for us are the best and being willing to accept whatever they are.

Dressed as a princess for our children’s church’s Kingdom theme.

Nearing my mid-twenties, suddenly it seemed as if God was going to answer my prayers when I began seeing a Christian guy that I’d known a long time. However, even during our relationship, I felt unsettled, as though I should be watching the horizon.

Clearly, that wasn’t a good sign, and shortly after, I was packing up my dreams again and really asking God, “What is YOUR plan for me?”

I thought I had been seeking Him and His will for me, but I had my ideas, my hopes, my dreams, and my ideals. I needed to surrender even my deepest desires to whatever HE desired for me. I thought that I had, but was I willing to never be a wife, never be a mommy, if that’s what He called me to? I sincerely hoped and prayed that that was NOT His plan, but I had to be willing to accept it if it were.

So, I came to a point of complete, complete surrender, and it was hard, but I knew that “unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.” (Psalm 127:1) I had a plan and a dream, but if it wasn’t God’s plan for me, it wouldn’t work.

It wasn’t easy letting that go and saying, “Not my will, but Yours,” but it was necessary.

A few months later, I found myself being nudged to join eHarmony, and I fought it. A LOT. Online dating sites were NOT for me. Surely, God was teasing. I mean, seriously.

But God was persistent (as I’ve shared before, He has to be pretty persistent with me sometimes), and then He got my mom in on it.  I mentioned to her that I had thought of going on the site to just do the personality test, and she was immediately encouraging me to go ahead and sign up for the whole site.

So, I did…under protest.

Not long after that, I was matched with Brad.

He was everything that I’d prayed for in a Prince Charming, and then some. He was a man of God, first and foremost. He loved God, and he quickly came to adore me. He was leading the youth ministry at his church, loved his little niece, had a good job at which he worked hard, he was smart,  he had a goofy sense of humor,  and he was handsome and charming (in his way), plus a lot of other awesome stuff.

Suddenly, there I was – at the beginning of my own fairy tale. (Actually, God had been writing it all my life. It just had a lengthier prologue than some. ;))

“A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

Feature picture courtesy of Picture Bliss Photography.