Tag - Josiah

How Darth Vader Helped Me Encourage My Child to Choose God’s Way

June 10, 2016

Have you ever had one of those conversations with your kids where it starts out with a really random question from your child, but then God opens the door to allow you to share something important or foundational for their faith? Do yours involve Star Wars, too?

This week a seemingly out-of-nowhere question from Elijah led us into a discussion about sin and how we all get to decide whether we are going to do things God’s way or not…all while talking about Darth Vader and armies.

It all started as we were driving along the backroads, heading home from my brother’s house where the boys had enjoyed a playdate with their cousins that afternoon.

Not far down the road, Elijah asked me, “What does the army do?”

At first, I asked him to repeat the question, because my first thoughts when he asked were spent trying to figure out what he was thinking. They hadn’t played “soldiers” that day, there weren’t any signs or billboards around to spark the thought, and no one had been talking about anything remotely related to the military that I could remember, so this seemed like a pretty random train of thought. (I’m sure it wasn’t for him…)

So, in an attempt to give him the simple answer, I told him that the army helps protect us and fights against bad guys in the world.

His reply was, “Like Star Wars.”

Again, I had to try to follow his thought process. “What do you mean?”

“Like the Resistance fights the Storm Troopers.” (He finally got to see the newest movie.)

“Ok. Yes. I guess so. The Rebel Alliance and the Resistance fight against the bad guys, like Darth Vader and the Storm Troopers.” (Sorry if you aren’t a Star Wars fan…we kind of are around here. We were basically talking about how the good guys battle the bad guys in the movies.)

Then Elijah said, “Well, Darth Vader was kind of good.” (Because right before he dies, Vader admits that the stuff he did was bad, and he helps to save Luke’s life despite almost 3 movies of being the bad guy.)

And just like that, the conversation shifted, and God showed me a teachable moment and gave me the words to share.

“Well, Darth Vader did kind of say he was sorry, and he did something good at the end. And no matter what we’ve done or when we ask, God will forgive us. But just think about how much of his life was wasted, spent hurting people and doing bad things instead of helping people and doing good. It would have been a whole different story if Darth Vader had chosen to do what was right rather than go along with the ‘Dark Side.’ But he kept choosing to do bad things, over and over again, until almost the last moment.”

Elijah thought about that for a second, and then, like a true big brother and human, he tried to justify himself based on someone else- his little brother: “Well, sometimes, Josiah makes me do bad things.” (I think he was remembering earlier in the day when the boys were arguing, and by Josiah arguing back and not letting Elijah boss him around, Josiah “made” Elijah shove him.)

So, I told Elijah that no matter what someone else does, we still ALWAYS have the choice about how we are going to behave.

“You know that God wants us to be loving, forgiving, helpful, kind, giving, and patient, right? You already know what God wants you to do. But the problem is that we don’t always want to do what is right. In fact, since Adam and Eve disobeyed God in the Garden of Eden, we all tend to want to do the wrong things. We don’t want to share, or be helpful, or be obedient. When Josiah isn’t sharing with you, your first thought is probably NOT that you should be kind to him, is it? It’s to get angry and be mean right back to him. So, you have to choose how you are going to behave. That’s why we need Jesus. He gives us the heart and the power to want to do the right things. So no matter what, you have a choice to either do things His way or not, no matter what Josiah or anyone else does. You get to choose, and He will help you if you let Him.”

Elijah was pretty quiet for a while after that, and then moved on to talking about something completely different, but I’m fairly certain his heart received at least some of the message.

So, parents, make sure you’re listening, not just to your children’s questions but to how God wants you to answer them. Sometimes the most random conversations can be used to plant seeds and leave an eternal impact.

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My Strategy to Thrive During Summer Vacation

May 16, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven: My Strategy to Thrive During Summer Vacation. WIth a plan for flexible structure, individual responsibilities and chores, and lots of fun activities this summer, I hope that our family can more than survive summer vacation. Lots of helpful links for how we can thrive as a family, enjoy our time together, and make great memories.

We are only about a week from the start of Elijah’s summer vacation. Over the last two weeks, thanks to built-in school calamity days that didn’t get used this winter, Elijah has had Fridays off, and I’ve had a small glimpse of what it’s going to be like to have all my boys at home all day again.

It hasn’t been pretty.

You would think that it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. I mean, I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for nearly eight years. I’ve dealt with my boys being with me all day, done my grocery shopping and errands with them all in tow, and managed to cook meals and keep the house clean while they are clamoring for attention or fighting with each other.

But apparently, I’ve gotten soft over this school year, used to the ease of having only two children for most of the day.

From previous summer vacation experience, I know I needed to start preparations now if we’re going to have a good summer all together. So, I have put together a 3-point strategy to survive our summer vacation.

1. STRUCTURE

Not only do children need it, but I accomplish so much more when I have an organized plan of action for my day. Now that I’ll have both older boys again, I’ll need to adjust my school-year daily schedule and transition it to a summer vacation daily routine.

I say “routine” because I’m not going to set specific times for everything, but maybe more just a general idea of what we should be doing “around-about” when. I don’t intend to schedule every moment of our day – that’s just a recipe for frustration when you have children. Flexibility is key! For example, if my boys would by some miracle actually sleep in, I’m not waking them up for a scheduled breakfast unless we have to be somewhere that day. Nope – if that would happen, we will all revel in it, and I’d totally take advantage of it! 🙂

(Of course, I’m not counting on many of those days because even now, they pop out of bed on the weekends (or days off school) earlier than even school days because, as Josiah says, “it’s sunny now.”)

Not only do I plan to have a general schedule for the day, but I’m also going to make sure that the boys know how the day should go. While looking for inspiration for my summer strategy, I saw this cute printable “Morning Checklist” for kids from Not Consumed. Since we won’t be doing school work over the summer, I may recreate this idea and make it fit our plans, but the idea is great.

I love that the checklist includes a devotional time and a reminder to do daily chores because my next strategy point goes right along with that.

2. RESPONSIBILITIES

Since my older two boys are getting old enough to take on a few daily chores, this is definitely something we’re going to incorporate into our summer strategy. Right now, Elijah’s big responsibilities have been feeding our dog and bringing down his dirty clothes in the morning, while Josiah just gets to help Mommy throughout the day as he can.

Josiah likes helping whenever it means he gets to play in the dirt.

This summer, I’m going to up the ante a bit for them both by adding an item or two to their daily chores. I’m sure they are going to LOVE this part. (Hahahaha).

Of course, since they are both still learning, I know that they will need a lot of instruction and supervision, at least at first, with some of the more “big kid” tasks. However, teaching them now means they’ll be really good at it when they get older. 🙂 (My mom was awesome for “encouragement” and an answer when we were young and doing chores. If we complained that we did it all the time, she’d tell us, “Then you should be able to do it quickly and really well.” If we tried to use the excuse that we weren’t good at it or didn’t know how, guess what? “Now, you can practice/learn.” Haha.)

For help with this strategy point, I’ve pooled all kinds of resources from Pinterest, including age-appropriate chore ideas and printable chore charts.

Preschool Chore Charts

15 Chores Ideas for 4-year-olds

34 Free Printable Chore Charts for Kids of All Ages

38 Age-Appropriate Chores for Kids

Editable Chore Cards for Kids (This one even gives them step-by-step directions!)

3. ACTIVITIES

Of course, I won’t expect my boys to spend the summer slaving away for me. I’m definitely not going to!

So, I need to have a healthy stash of activities ready to go once we’ve completed all our responsibilities for the day. I already know that my boys enjoy visiting the nearby parks, plus we plan to participate in our library’s summer reading program, and we can always visit family and friends for play dates. For what we can do at home, my boys like our Homemade Sidewalk Paint and playing with bubbles or on their swing set, so those are always on the list, but I’ve also gathered some new ideas for ways to make memories and spend a fun summer afternoon.

One of the easiest summer activities that my boys love is going on a picnic.

50 Fun and Free Summer Activities for Kids

32 Summer Boredom Busters

Summer Activity Schedule for Kids (Free Printable)

Summer Bucket List – 150+ Activities for Kids

21 Fun Summer Activities

And if they seem to find that structure, responsibilities, and the activities I’ve come up with aren’t enough, I’ve also found this great little printable to help them out when they think they are “bored.” (Elijah likes that word lately, so this is definitely going up in his room.) 🙂

Having been through “summer vacation” before, I know that my strategy isn’t all that we’ll need, but having a plan is better than being completely unprepared, right? Hopefully with a little organization, planning, and advance preparation, we can sail through this summer fairly happily, making great memories and enjoying the time we have together so much that we’ll hate to see it end. My hope for this summer vacation is to more than survive it. I want us to thrive in it together as a family. That sounds like a good plan to me. 🙂

WHAT IS YOUR SUMMER SURVIVAL STRATEGY?

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The Importance of Storytelling Daddies

May 12, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven: The Importance of Storytelling Daddies. There is just something about playing make-believe or listening to adventurous stories told by your daddy. It's a great way to create memories and bond with your children in a way they will always remember.

When I was little, maybe about four or five, I can remember lying down beside my dad in our little side porch/sun room, with my older brother on the other side of him. It was either afternoon or early evening, so maybe Dad was keeping us occupied so my mom could get my younger brother down for a nap. I don’t remember that part. What I remember most is that we were listening to my father tell us stories about “Ishewa,” a little Native American boy who always seemed to have great adventures, and that day he was going on a bear hunt with his father.

I mentioned the “Ishewa stories” to my dad a while ago, and he was surprised that I remembered them. I don’t remember too many of the storylines, just that my dad was a great storyteller, and I loved the characters that he made up for us. His affinity for American history, including Native American life (his paternal grandmother was part Cherokee), and his hobbies of hunting and fishing and general rambles in the woods combined to give his stories authenticity and a slightly educational element, but he always made them fun and exciting. His tales might be one of the things that encouraged my love for historical fiction books. 🙂

Given how much I like to read and write, you’d think that I’d be the storyteller in our little family, but I’m not. While I do make up stories for our boys on occasion and sometimes even sing them per Elijah’s request, which is harder, my stories are always random.

When our children look back at their childhood, the stories I’m certain they’ll both remember best are the ones their daddy tells them and enacts with them. Those stories are called “Big Bad Bear, Baby Bear, Little Boy, Big Boy, and Monkey in the Woods.” (Yeah, it’s a mouthful…)

Started when Josiah was still a little one, these kooky adventures take place when Daddy and the boys go upstairs to play together. It’s a combination game and storytelling, as they come up with new “episodes” every time they play. (Elijah tends to think of these stories like a TV series.) Daddy narrates, and the boys offer suggestions of what will happen “today on this episode of ‘Big Bad Bear, Baby Bear, Little Boy, Big Boy, and Monkey in the Woods.’” While Josiah is “Little Boy,” and Elijah is known as “Big Boy,” they use their stuffed animals for the rest of the characters. “Big Bad Bear” is a gray bear puppet whose character is more grumpy than bad. “Monkey” is one of those toy monkeys with really long arms and legs that you can Velcro around you, and he’s a crazy, clumsy monkey who always ends up falling down our stairs. “Baby Bear” is the teddy bear that Elijah snuggles at night. They also always visit “Grandma Monkey” at some point in the story, and she cooks them yummy food.

I don’t know all the craziness that goes on, but I hear it: the laughter, the running, Brad doing silly voices, and my boys having a wonderful time. I’ve been tempted to join in before, but this is their thing with Daddy. It’s more special that way.

If a father telling his son stories that include the child’s stuffed animals sounds familiar, you may be thinking of A.A. Milne, who did the same thing with his little boy, Christopher Robin, and his teddy bear, Winnie the Pooh. Apparently fathers and storytelling is a thing in more than our family.

And for good reason. While Brad’s storytelling technique is definitely different than my dad’s (and far different than A.A. Milne’s), the end results are pretty much the same: memories, bonding, a shared adventure, and children who know that they are important to their daddy because he takes time to play and imagine with them. (They also give moms a break. Haha)

As moms we have lots of opportunities with our children to bond and make memories. They know we love them because we snuggle them, kiss boo-boos, make them cookies, sing them songs, read them stories, and 50 million other things throughout a day. It’s kind of easy for us.

But our kids need special moments with their daddies, too. Who better to lead them on wild (pretend) adventures and daring (imagined) feats than their big, strong daddy? (Remember, I’m a girl, and my father was telling me about a bear hunt, not a princess tea party, and I still cherish that story).

So, mamas, step back (if you have to) and give them those moments, and daddies, take them. Make time to spend with your little ones just playing make-believe, and create stories together that they’ll remember for the rest of the lives.

Because, trust me, they may forget the storylines over time, but they’ll never forget you were the one telling the story.

Feature image courtesy of Picture Bliss Photography.

Tried It Tuesday: Homemade Stove Top Macaroni and Cheese

May 10, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven: Tried It Tuesday: Homemade Stove Top Macaroni & Cheese. This quick, easy, delicious homemade mac and cheese on your stove top is a crowd pleaser and a family favorite. Even the pickiest of picky eaters will love it! It takes about the same amount of time to make as the boxed kind, but it tastes so much better!

Every mom needs a go-to on those days when her child is, or children are, being extra picky about eating.

Personally, I never really had to worry much with Elijah. He’s always been a good eater. He loves his veggies and fruits, and he’ll try pretty much anything. He may not like it, but he’ll try it.

Josiah…not so much. While he’s not horrible, he has his moments. He’ll like something one time and eat it up, then decide when I make it again, that no, he doesn’t like that at all.

However, I have a recipe for something that no one in our house ever turns down, not even Josiah.

But then again, who doesn’t love homemade stove top macaroni and cheese?

: It only takes a few ingredients to make from scratch.

: Smooth & creamy mac and cheese!

: This is one of my boys’ favorites.

Around here, I’ve been making this super easy recipe for about 3 years, ever since I first saw Alton Brown make this mac and cheese on his stove on a rerun of Good Eats (We love that show!). Up to that point, macaroni and cheese was a rare dish in our meals because I just didn’t want to buy it (the orange powder just kind of …uhhh). However, seeing how quickly I could make REAL mac and cheese from scratch – just about the same amount of time it takes to make it from the box – I was sold.

Made with a handful of ingredients that I generally have on hand all the time, this recipe also makes enough that I usually have some left over for another meal, such as lunch for Josiah and me.

So, I’m saving time, money, and feeding my family a little bit healthier (it’s still pasta with butter & lots of cheese, so…).

Here is Alton’s original macaroni and cheese recipe (he also has a recipe for an oven-baked mac and cheese, too, if you follow the “episode” link.)

Here is how I make homemade macaroni and cheese on the stove top.

This is one of my boys' favorites.

5 Everyday Moments That Make Being a Mom Totally Worth It

May 2, 2016

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5 Everyday Moments That Make Being a Mom Totally Worth It, Life in Lape Haven. Being a parent is hard, and some days are difficult. However, even on the roughest days, there are moments that can remind us of how wonderful it is to be a mom or dad and how precious our children are to us.

As a mom, I know that some days, parenting is just hard. Children can be demanding, cranky, destructive (usually accidentally), disobedient, whiny, messy, and just exhausting. However, I have found that even on those really rough days, there are still moments sprinkled throughout the chaos that remind me that my children are truly gifts from God and being a mom really is worth it.

Here are five of my favorite everyday moments that make being a mother the best calling ever.

1. Cuddles and Snuggles:

My boys are all pretty affectionate little guys, and they love cuddles and snuggles. Whether it’s climbing into bed with Mommy and Daddy on Saturday morning (so much sweeter when they wait until after 8 am!), or just scooting up really close to us on the couch, our boys are cuddlers. They want to be with us.

Josiah likes to sit beside me as I’m typing or editing pictures, laying his little hand on my lower arm and his head against my upper arm, and just watch me. Elijah’s tall enough now that he can almost rest his head on my shoulder. Even the most frustrating days can be softened when they are being sweet and tender like that.

2. Giggles:

No matter how bad a day is, my boys will be laughing at some point, those deep-belly giggles that are impossible to resist. They can be fighting and arguing with each other one minute, then laughing with each other the next. And their joy is contagious. Of course, it’s even better when I get to be the one to bring out the giggles in them with silliness and tickles and fun. Laughter is a beautiful remedy for discouragement and exhaustion (I laugh even easier when I’m tired. Haha!) After all, the Bible tell us, “A merry heart does good, like medicine.” (Proverbs 17:22)

3. Unexpected Hugs & Kisses:

Having mentioned our boys’ affectionate natures, is it any surprise that I get treated to random hugs and kisses throughout my day? Josiah’s thing is to give me “all the hugs in the world,” which is basically a really tight, prolonged clinging sort of hug. Even though he will have moments when he doesn’t want ME to give HIM hugs or kisses, he loves to surprise me with them.

Elijah, however, has never rejected a hug that I can remember. He’ll give me a “good morning hug,” a hug before and after school, and hugs “just because” throughout the day, but his specialty is his bedtime hug, where he basically lets you think you’re just leaning down for one last kiss before he goes to sleep, and he’ll latch on, both arms around your neck, and keep you there. (And giggle.) He’s surprisingly strong for his age. He’s also the most likely to come up and give Mom random kisses on the cheek.

4. “I love you, Mommy”:

I don’t know if there is anything more encouraging or refreshing on a difficult day than when your child looks you in the eyes and sweetly and sincerely tells you, “I love you, Mommy.” Even if they are echoing your words with an “I love you, too,” it has a way of refocusing you to how blessed you are to be the mother of that child (yes, that one, the one who just a few minutes ago flushed his training underwear down the toilet – true story. Or that one, who is so driven to create that he keeps ransacking the kitchen junk drawer and recycle bin, even when he’s been told not to, to “make something,” leaving crazy messes and empty tape dispensers in his wake.)

I also cherish their unique compliments of “You look like a princess, Mommy,” or “I like how your hair feels, Mom.”

5. Watching My Babies Sleep:

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.” And when the child isn’t being so lovely, oooh – naptime and bedtime can’t come soon enough! However, even when my kids have been driving me crazy, it’s amazing how precious it is to rock them to sleep and hold them close to you and study their sweet faces.

Of course, Elijah’s a bit too big to rock anymore, but he still melts my heart when I go in to check on him before I go to bed each night. Both he and Josiah usually require an adjustment of their blankets here or a tucking in there, with Josiah sometimes needing to be completely rearranged so he doesn’t fall off his bed (how he moves so much without being awake is rather puzzling). Those last-minute checks, with a whispered little prayer over them, are the perfect way to end even the hardest days.

There are many other little moments that I could mention (When Josiah takes my hand tightly to walk beside me; when Elijah’s sense of humor shines through, and he makes a really witty comment; the boys’ faces when they accomplish something they didn’t think they could, when they are loving and sweet to each other; listening to my boys when they pray and watching their personal relationship with and faith in God grow). I generally get to experience those each and every day with my children.

When I take the time to notice and appreciate those many special moments, how can any day be all that bad?

WHAT EVERYDAY MOMENTS WITH YOUR CHILDREN ENCOURAGE YOU AS A MOM OR DAD?

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Tried It Tuesday: Easy, Chewy Peanut Butter Cookies

April 12, 2016

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Life In Lape Haven - Tried It Tuesday: Easy, Chewy Peanut Butter Cookies. A simple and simply delicious peanut butter cookie recipe for crunchy, yet chewy cookies.

I have a pretty great husband. I do. Not only is he a Godly man who loves me and the boys and works diligently to take care of us, he is my number one fan in everything I do. He helps cover my slack around the house when I’m working on projects, even cleaning the bathroom, and he stays up with me on those late nights when my blogging inspiration is a little delayed, so that he can proofread for me and just be with me. (It’s okay to say, “Awww.” He’s totally a sweetheart.)

So the other day when I was itching to bake something sweet, I thought of him and his recent comment about craving some good peanut butter cookies.

I don’t think I’ve made peanut butter cookies since we’ve been married, so I had to do some online searching to find a recipe that sounded like a winner.

After reading through a couple of recipes and their comments, I decided on this one, Thick and Chewy Peanut Butter Cookies from Dessert Now Dinner Later, mainly because I know Brad likes chewy cookies, and she also mentioned that you can just scoop and bake these cookies rather than rolling them and pressing them with a fork.

Josiah was on-hand to be my assistant, which usually means it takes me way longer to make something than it would if I were doing it all myself, but I know that he gets such joy in being my “big helper boy,” that it’s worth the extra time, mess, and occasional frustrations that come with little ones helping in the kitchen.

These cookies are super easy. It’s just a matter of creaming your butter and sugars, mixing in your peanut butter, egg, and vanilla, and then adding your dry ingredients. From there, you scoop your cookie dough out onto the baking sheet, bake, and enjoy.

The first time I made these, I let them bake a little too long. The scooper I used was larger (#20) than the one the author used for hers (#30), so I adjusted the time…but a bit too much. On the plus side, the cookies were huge! 🙂

However, the cookies were still really good. Brad was pleasantly surprised to come home to homemade peanut butter cookies, and the boys loved them, too.

Since I knew the cookies could have been better, I had to do a second batch a few days later with the intent of getting the right cooking time. No one in my house complained about more cookies. This time I pulled them a couple minutes sooner, and they were even better than the first ones.

So now I have a tasty, easy go-to recipe for peanut butter cookies on the days that I want to do something a little special for my hard-working, giving hubby. (Awww – yes, I’m a sweetheart, too. Hahaha)

By the way, even though I haven’t tried it – yet – I’m pretty sure you could create a variation on this cookie by subbing out the peanut butter for hazelnut spread. Mmmm. I considered doing that, but Brad is not a fan of hazelnut spread. Or you could mix in some chocolate chips with the peanut butter cookies because chocolate + peanut butter = yumminess. I have also seen people put marshmallow creme and melted chocolate between two peanut butter cookies to make a fun cookie sandwich.

Okay, now that you’re hungry for delicious, chewy peanut butter cookies, here’s the recipe. Enjoy!!!

A simple, and simply delicious, chewy peanut butter cookie recipe.

Tag - Josiah

How Darth Vader Helped Me Encourage My Child to Choose God’s Way

Have you ever had one of those conversations with your kids where it starts out with a really random question from your child, but then God opens the door to allow you to share something important or foundational for their faith? Do yours involve Star Wars, too?

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My Strategy to Thrive During Summer Vacation

1. STRUCTURE

2. RESPONSIBILITIES

3. ACTIVITIES

WHAT IS YOUR SUMMER SURVIVAL STRATEGY?

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:

The Importance of Storytelling Daddies

Tried It Tuesday: Homemade Stove Top Macaroni and Cheese

Here is how I make homemade macaroni and cheese on the stove top.

5 Everyday Moments That Make Being a Mom Totally Worth It

Here are five of my favorite everyday moments that make being a mother the best calling ever.

1. Cuddles and Snuggles:

2. Giggles:

3. Unexpected Hugs & Kisses:

4. “I love you, Mommy”:

5. Watching My Babies Sleep:

When I take the time to notice and appreciate those many special moments, how can any day be all that bad?

WHAT EVERYDAY MOMENTS WITH YOUR CHILDREN ENCOURAGE YOU AS A MOM OR DAD?

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Tried It Tuesday: Easy, Chewy Peanut Butter Cookies

Okay, now that you’re hungry for delicious, chewy peanut butter cookies, here’s the recipe. Enjoy!!!

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