Tag - memories

How We Made Our Family Vacation About A Little More

June 28, 2017

Last week our family went on a little getaway, the first with all three of our boys. Since we weren’t sure how well 6-month-old Isaiah would travel (he won’t take a bottle or pacifier at all, which has been fun), we knew we might have to make more frequent stops. That’s why we decided to vacation a little closer to home, picking an area within a 5- to 6-hour drive from us. We also decided to go for only 4 days.

In preparation for this grand adventure, I made an extensive packing list, stocked up on car-friendly snacks, printed out some drive-time scavenger hunt sheets and other traveling activities for kids, and created an on-my-visor behavior clip chart to help our older two boys stay on track.

(You can read more about how that worked and get additional tips and tricks for traveling with kids from me and other moms in this post on The Merry Momma.)

The on-visor behavior clip chart…on a string.

The night before our road trip started, Brad was praying with our boys at bedtime. Toward the end of the prayer, he asked that God would use our trip to bless not only us but others.

And God gave me an idea immediately of a very easy way to accomplish that and make our family vacation about more than just us.

The morning of our trip, we loaded the car, got the boys settled, and I hung the clip chart string on my visor. Then I put 3 large wire clothespins on the left corner of my visor. Even Brad looked at me in confusion.

“What are those for?” Elijah asked.

So I explained.

“These three clips are for the three big days of our vacation. Last night Daddy prayed that our trip would bless others, right? Well, each day our family will do a random act of kindness or find someone we can help. When we’ve completed our task for the day, we’ll take a clip down. Until we do, though, these clips will remind us to be on the lookout for ways to be kind, encouraging, or helpful to other people.”

My boys, especially Elijah, were excited about the plan, and they began coming up with ways we could bless someone.

Over the next few days, amid the excitement of hotel stays, daily adventures, and eating out, I was surprised by how often my boys (or my husband or I) would mention an idea for a random act of kindness. Their suggestions weren’t always feasible, but at least I knew they were busy thinking of others.

So what DID we do?

Enjoying our treats at Dairy Queen (note my surprised look as Isaiah tried to steal my shake)

Our first fun act of kindness was passing out ice cream bars to a group of construction workers staying at our hotel. They had been sitting outside when we took the boys out to the pool early in the evening, and they were still there later when we were headed out to get a treat at the nearby Dairy Queen. Before we left the restaurant, we grabbed a pack of ice cream bars, just in case they were still outside when we returned.

When they questioned us about the gift, we just told them that we wanted to do something nice for others as a family and show God’s love. I’m not sure who enjoyed the surprise more – our boys, who were very excited to share, or the men and ladies who were delighted with not only the ice cream, but seeing our boys’ excitement to share with them.

Dinner at the diner.

We earned our next day’s clip in a more subtle way. Since much of our day had been spent exploring a state park (and on a weekday), we didn’t interact with many other people until we went to dinner. Throughout our meal, I noticed that our waitress seemed a bit stressed, and while our boys weren’t behaving badly, they were energetic enough to add a little more chaos to the atmosphere.

We didn’t try to initiate much of a conversation with her or find out how her day had been going because, honestly, when you’re wrangling three little boys during mealtime, it’s much kinder sometimes to focus on keeping your children’s mess and noise to a minimum and just let people work. But I knew that she should be on the receiving end of a little kindness before we left. Even though I didn’t mention my observations to Brad, halfway through the meal, he quietly suggested to me that we leave her a substantial tip (far more than just 20%) as our kindness for the day. So we made sure to express our appreciation for her attentiveness and excellent service both verbally and monetarily.

Family selfie, blocking most of the view of the beautiful mountains behind us.

Our third clip…well, we actually didn’t get to do anything for our last clip, which really bothered our boys. The last day of our trip was spent mostly traveling home, and we didn’t even go through a drive-through, so the easy idea of paying for the person behind us couldn’t even be used. When we did stop for dinner, there weren’t any other people in the restaurant until we were leaving.

However, I don’t feel as though it was a failure because, again, my boys were looking hard for opportunities to help others (whenever we were around other people. Haha). And I know that the two clips that we used were definitely ones that God directed us to do.

So despite only accomplishing two out of the three things, getting my boys to think of others often during our family vacation and knowing that we were obedient in doing what God asked us to when the opportunities were there, to me means that we were successful in making our vacation about much more than ourselves.

And those three clips will be staying in the car so that we can continually be reminded to think of others and look for ways to be kind, helpful, and encouraging every day.

(Next vacation I plan to be much better prepared to continue this tradition, so check out the links and resources below that I’ve found with ideas we can use.)

Random Acts of Kindness

101 of the Best Random Acts of Kindness Ideas

30 Random Acts of Kindness to Do with Your Kids

Super Easy Act of Kindness for Kids (We are TOTALLY doing this soon!)

67 Awesome Random Acts of Kindness for Kids

HOW DOES YOUR FAMILY SPREAD KINDNESS?

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Simple Ways to Spark Joy in Your Children

May 2, 2017

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Life in Lape Haven: Simple Ways to Spark Joy in Your Children. It doesn't take much to bring joy to our children's lives. Here are some ideas on simple ways to add some fun to your every day with your kids.

The other day I was gathering everything up and ready to head out the door to the grocery store with my two youngest boys when Josiah decided it would be a good time to ask Mommy for a cup of milk.

Since milk was already on the shopping list, and I was kind of in a rush, I grabbed our nearly-empty milk jug from the refrigerator and handed it to my 4-year-old.

“Here you go. Do you want to drink it straight from the jug?”

I figured there wasn’t much left in it, so we’d be throwing the empty container into the recycle box anyway. Plus, I wouldn’t have to get out a cup, and Josiah might have fun with this.

Oh, my goodness! His reaction was adorable.

He gave me a slightly surprised but very excited grin and nod, followed by the best giggle ever – It was equal parts delighted and ornery. Then he proudly chugged down his milk.

My split-second decision, made primarily to save me time and hassle, brought my little guy so much joy that it got me thinking about all the simple, every day ways that we, as parents, can spark joy in our kids.

Now, this isn’t about always giving your kids what they want or thinking that they have to be happy (or happy with you, Mom or Dad) all the time. We all know that our responsibility as their parents is to lovingly teach and train them, and they aren’t always going to be able to have fun or enjoy the process, especially when we have to discipline them.

But with all the hard work of parenting, there are rewards. One of the best parts about parenting, and one that you don’t hear enough about, is that Moms and Dads have the prime opportunity to show their children how to truly enjoy life and celebrate all the good things that God has given us. We get to help them embrace challenges and adventures and watch them grow through them. We are the ones who encourage them to try new things as we nurture and cultivate their senses of humor, their curiosity, and their imagination.

In short, we get to have fun with these little human beings!

And really, they make it easy. They have a natural, God-given desire to explore and discover, and they have an eye for seeing the wondrous and amazing in the common place, every day things around them.

So bringing them little moments of joy usually isn’t hard at all, like letting them drink straight from the milk jug once in a while (and with the understanding that we don’t do it unless we are finishing off the contents!)

HERE ARE SOME OTHER IDEAS FOR BRINGING JOY TO YOUR LITTLE ONES:

(This post may contain affiliate links, which means that at no additional cost to you, I may receive a small commission when you use the links. See my full disclosure for details.)

Explore the World & Try New Things

Let them blow those dandelion puff seeds. It’s just plain fun, and it would probably be good for you to pick a couple to blow on, too. You know you want to. (I’ve personally never outgrown it.) Oh, and don’t worry about your lawn. Dandelions are good for the honey bees. 😉

Go through the car wash. Seriously, my boys love this, especially when we go to the “big” one with the big rotating brushes and colorful foam. If you treat something as an adventure, little kids are generally pretty willing to play along.

Also: Have picnics – even just in the backyard or in the middle of the living room, say “yes” to roly polies as pets, encourage them to play in the rain & puddles (when it’s safe, and they are suitably dressed)

Give them the freedoms and independence that you can.

Allow them to pay at the store. Whether they are buying something with their birthday money, or you hand them the cash to give to the cashier during a grocery run, children feel rather grown up when they get to do “big people” things. They love that.

Similarly, giving little children the freedom to pick out their own clothes – and not making them change unless absolutely necessary – is guaranteed to bring them joy. It might just give you a laugh or two, as well. 🙂 Josiah adores “fun” socks, and I’ve learned to just forget about whether they actually match his clothes or not. Sometimes he does well; other times his outfits are awesome in a totally different way. (This also applies to shopping for clothes, too.)

Another “free to choose” thing that my boys love is when I give them the chance to pick what kind of cookies we’ll bake. And then they get to help me in the kitchen. Whether they are just dumping in the ingredients after I’ve measure them out, or Elijah is stirring oatmeal on the stove (supervised), letting kids lend a hand with meal (or goodie) prep is not only fun (forget the mess, make the memories), but it’s teaching them a valuable life skill.

Also: Let them eat that sugary cereal on occasion.

Don’t Be Afraid to Be Silly

Have a spontaneous dance party. For us, that usually means while I’m doing dishes, folding laundry, or doing some other always-present household chore that I can do with a few turns, wiggles, and flourishes. I’ll turn on my Amazon Prime Music, and my boys will break out their moves. ( Try Amazon Music Unlimited 30-Day Free Trial)

Also: Go through the closets and create silly costumes. Or use old make-up (or Dollar Store finds) for face paint fun. Start a water gun / water balloon fight. Become the “tickle monster.” Share jokes.

Be Creative

Give them the paper towel tube. Or an empty box. Some leftover scraps of fabric. My boys will fight over these things because they can use them to either pretend with or make a craft. Kids love to create, even if they don’t have an end product in mind, so give them things they can cut, paste, and color however they want.

Also: Show them how to play the spoons. Shoot video of them doing a pretend commercial or newscast or have them put on a theatrical production.

These are just some things that I know bring a smile to my boys’ faces, but you know your children best. Find out what puts a twinkle in their eyes, and do that.

And, yes, while some of these ideas probably won’t work as well when my guys get older, I think the same main principles will still apply. Hopefully by that time we’ve established a tradition of enjoying time together and being able to celebrate simple things as a family.

“As a family” is the key because if you notice, nearly everything on the list above requires your interaction or presence. Nothing will bring your children joy like spending time with Mommy and Daddy.

And I’m pretty sure that nothing will bring you greater joy than being with them, too!

WHAT SIMPLE THINGS GIVE YOUR LITTLE ONES JOY?

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3 Things I Know About Becoming a Mother

September 21, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven: 3 Things I Know about Becoming a Mother. With all the parents-wanting-to-be swooning over my baby belly lately, I find that there are a few things I want them to know about what it means to become a mommy or a daddy.

Counting from when I first became pregnant with Elijah, I’ve been a mother for over seven years. Looking back at the starry-eyed mommy-wanting-to-be that I was when we were first preparing to start our family, I don’t think I realized how much I would change or all that I would learn once I became a mother.

I’ve been reminded of my own eager mommy naiveté lately, as young female friends, family, and even strangers swoon over my baby belly with their own hopes and dreams of becoming mommies someday. I find myself smiling at their innocence with a “you have no idea” knowing that only comes from experience. I remember well that “Oh, babies are so precious,” and “children are so fun” mindset that painted motherhood and parenting as idealistically as a newborn diaper commercial. Not that babies and children aren’t precious and fun, but parenting isn’t all sweet things and blissful days and nights.

So from my seven years of mothering, here are three things I know about what it means to become a mother. (And most of this applies to becoming a daddy, too, but since I’m a mom, that’s where I write from.)

#1. YOU WILL CHANGE FROM HEAD TO TOE, INSIDE AND OUT

From the moment those two little pink lines show up on the pregnancy test (and even before then), you begin changing, and you’ll never be the same again. Everyone realizes that a pregnant woman’s body changes in multiple ways, and despite our current culture’s pressure for moms to just snap right back to their pre-baby selves, it really isn’t realistic (or fair or necessary). Sure you can lose the extra weight, especially when you breastfeed, and you can exercise and tone up, but it will, and should, take some time. Plus there will still be areas of your body that are changed forever, even if others never see the evidence.

And the physical changes are actually the least drastic of them all.

Yes, mommies-wanting-to-be, there are more dramatic adjustments once you have a child than stretchmarks and maybe a belly pooch.

Motherhood changes EVERYTHING – physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, socially, and financially.

Think you’ve loved someone before? It won’t compare to when you hold that baby for the first time (or even feel his first kicks in your belly). Ever been frustrated? Try going up against a strong-willed toddler in the epic parenting face-offs known at “potty training” or “naptime.” Been proud of someone? Just wait until your mini-me digs deep and determinedly learns to tie her shoes or ride a bike or starts to read or shows compassion and generosity toward others.

And before you have children, let’s face it – You pretty much think about yourself and what you need. Yes, marriage is good at teaching you to put someone else first, and hopefully you consider your spouse’s needs and sacrifice for them. However, from your first seconds of parenthood (and on for basically the rest of your life), so many decisions and choices will be run through the filter of “how will this affect my child?” Don’t believe me? Everything you do when you’re pregnant will prove it – what you eat, how you care for yourself, and what you do. Once that little bundle of joy arrives, you’ll plan your days around their naps or feedings or both (maybe not precisely, but at least roughly), you’ll make grocery lists based on what your preschooler will actually eat this week, and you’ll pick where you live with consideration of the schools in the area.

Every major decision you make will also be even more a matter of prayer. Seriously, I don’t know that any area of your life will be as affected by parenting as your spiritual walk. You’ve only THOUGHT you needed wisdom before. Raising children will take you to your knees like nothing else. Patience, discernment, direction, peace – yep, you’ll need everything God can give. And trusting God hits a whole new level when you place your child in His hands.

While most people know that having children will affect you financially – they do have to eat and be clothed, after all – I’m not sure how many nonparents realize how different your social life will become once Junior is in the picture. Even beyond going out often and easily (either you are taking your children – that’s a whole new ballgame – or you’re arranging for a babysitter), unless all your friends have children or really love kids, there are going to be some that just don’t get your new situation in life. You most likely won’t have as much time or even interest in things you used to do often, and they probably won’t have the same excitement you have over your child’s latest milestones or in seeing all 557 pictures you took of your little one that morning at the park. You will be at different places in your life, and that’s okay. God has His own unique plan for each of us and our families. So be prepared to give them some grace, and do your best to keep in touch, even if you don’t spend as much time together as you used to.

#2. YOU WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH

I know. I KNOW. This isn’t what any of us want to hear. We want to think that we can rock this parenting thing if we just try hard enough, get super organized, stop comparing ourselves to other moms, embrace our own strengths, and so on. In fact, it’s kind of a thing among the mother and women’s community at large right now to loudly and repeatedly tell you that “You are enough!” There are blogs, t-shirts, memes, coffee mugs, and who knows what all else to remind you of your wonderful capabilities and awesome mom potential.

However, all of those well-meaning cheerleaders are setting you up for frustration, disappointment, and no end of discouragement because it’s simply not true.

You, in and of yourself, are not, and will never be, enough for your children. No amount of effort on your part is going to change that.

I’m not sure why we would want to fight so hard to prove we can do it by ourselves. Parenting is HARD, like, REALLY HARD.

I know I’m not the only mother who has those days when I can’t wait for my husband to get home- not because I’ve missed him or have something important to tell him, but simply because I NEED HIS HELP. I need a break from our boys, from their demands for my attention, from their fighting, from the constant giving and caring I’ve been doing since I woke up that morning. Tagging out when Brad is ready to take over can be such a relief.

In those moments, if I believed I was supposed to be enough for them, I would feel like such a complete failure.

Thankfully, I KNOW that I’m not. And I know that Brad’s not enough as their dad. Even together, amazing parents that we are :), we aren’t enough for our precious boys.

And we’re glad about that.

Why?

Because we know that God did not design parenting (or much else in life) to be something you could do independent of Him. It’s something you can only do well WHEN you rely on Him.

We are never enough, but He is ALWAYS MORE THAN ENOUGH. We will make mistakes and fail, but He is perfect and always faithful.

2 Corinthians 3:9 reminds us that His “’grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

Yes, I “can do all things,” but it’s only “through Christ who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)

Being able to seek God’s guidance, strength, PATIENCE, wisdom, and power instead of relying on my own (very weak) human strength, allows me to be the mom that God called me to be to my children.

God planned for me to be their mother, and God has gifted me with talents and abilities that I can use in that calling, but I can’t do it without Him.

And my kids need to know that, too. I’m not my children’s source. It’s not my job to be their source of joy or of peace, of safety or of health, of goodness or of salvation. They need to rely on God as much as I do. But if I’m trying to be “enough” for them on my own, how will they realize their need for Him?

#3. YOU WILL NEVER WANT TO GO BACK

Parenting is hard, and it changes everything for you, but I can promise you that even despite that, you will NEVER want to go back to life before your children.

Not seriously, anyway.

There may be days that you reminisce about how easy and carefree life was when two or three kids weren’t fighting in the background, or how awesome it was to get a full, uninterrupted night’s sleep once upon a time. But honestly, in your heart of hearts, you will never, ever want to go back to not being a parent.

And perhaps this is the part that longing-to-be-mommies and – daddies see in us that makes them swoon and sigh over our sweet new little ones, our precocious preschoolers, or our growing grade-schoolers. They see that overwhelming, straight-from-heaven love that softens the difficult days and cements the really great ones into our memories forever. They hear the pride and joy in our voices (or read it in our social media posts) when our kids do something adorable or impressive. They may not have faced the struggles of parenting yet, but they see the rewards in our relationship with our children, these amazing, inspiring, precious gifts from God.

When those young, naïve parents-wanting-to-be start talking about how awesome it will be to a mom or dad someday, I find myself smiling at their innocence with a “you have no idea” knowing that only comes from very cherished experience. 🙂

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE:

5 Everyday Moments that Make Being a Mom Totally Worth It

How I Sabotaged Myself & Made a Bad Evening Worse

Welcoming Isaiah: A Birth Story that Didn’t Quite Follow to My Birth Plan

Going “Naked” at the Water Park

5 Tips & Tricks I Learned with My 3rd Baby that I Wish I’d Known with My 1st

The Importance of Storytelling Daddies

May 12, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven: The Importance of Storytelling Daddies. There is just something about playing make-believe or listening to adventurous stories told by your daddy. It's a great way to create memories and bond with your children in a way they will always remember.

When I was little, maybe about four or five, I can remember lying down beside my dad in our little side porch/sun room, with my older brother on the other side of him. It was either afternoon or early evening, so maybe Dad was keeping us occupied so my mom could get my younger brother down for a nap. I don’t remember that part. What I remember most is that we were listening to my father tell us stories about “Ishewa,” a little Native American boy who always seemed to have great adventures, and that day he was going on a bear hunt with his father.

I mentioned the “Ishewa stories” to my dad a while ago, and he was surprised that I remembered them. I don’t remember too many of the storylines, just that my dad was a great storyteller, and I loved the characters that he made up for us. His affinity for American history, including Native American life (his paternal grandmother was part Cherokee), and his hobbies of hunting and fishing and general rambles in the woods combined to give his stories authenticity and a slightly educational element, but he always made them fun and exciting. His tales might be one of the things that encouraged my love for historical fiction books. 🙂

Given how much I like to read and write, you’d think that I’d be the storyteller in our little family, but I’m not. While I do make up stories for our boys on occasion and sometimes even sing them per Elijah’s request, which is harder, my stories are always random.

When our children look back at their childhood, the stories I’m certain they’ll both remember best are the ones their daddy tells them and enacts with them. Those stories are called “Big Bad Bear, Baby Bear, Little Boy, Big Boy, and Monkey in the Woods.” (Yeah, it’s a mouthful…)

Started when Josiah was still a little one, these kooky adventures take place when Daddy and the boys go upstairs to play together. It’s a combination game and storytelling, as they come up with new “episodes” every time they play. (Elijah tends to think of these stories like a TV series.) Daddy narrates, and the boys offer suggestions of what will happen “today on this episode of ‘Big Bad Bear, Baby Bear, Little Boy, Big Boy, and Monkey in the Woods.’” While Josiah is “Little Boy,” and Elijah is known as “Big Boy,” they use their stuffed animals for the rest of the characters. “Big Bad Bear” is a gray bear puppet whose character is more grumpy than bad. “Monkey” is one of those toy monkeys with really long arms and legs that you can Velcro around you, and he’s a crazy, clumsy monkey who always ends up falling down our stairs. “Baby Bear” is the teddy bear that Elijah snuggles at night. They also always visit “Grandma Monkey” at some point in the story, and she cooks them yummy food.

I don’t know all the craziness that goes on, but I hear it: the laughter, the running, Brad doing silly voices, and my boys having a wonderful time. I’ve been tempted to join in before, but this is their thing with Daddy. It’s more special that way.

If a father telling his son stories that include the child’s stuffed animals sounds familiar, you may be thinking of A.A. Milne, who did the same thing with his little boy, Christopher Robin, and his teddy bear, Winnie the Pooh. Apparently fathers and storytelling is a thing in more than our family.

And for good reason. While Brad’s storytelling technique is definitely different than my dad’s (and far different than A.A. Milne’s), the end results are pretty much the same: memories, bonding, a shared adventure, and children who know that they are important to their daddy because he takes time to play and imagine with them. (They also give moms a break. Haha)

As moms we have lots of opportunities with our children to bond and make memories. They know we love them because we snuggle them, kiss boo-boos, make them cookies, sing them songs, read them stories, and 50 million other things throughout a day. It’s kind of easy for us.

But our kids need special moments with their daddies, too. Who better to lead them on wild (pretend) adventures and daring (imagined) feats than their big, strong daddy? (Remember, I’m a girl, and my father was telling me about a bear hunt, not a princess tea party, and I still cherish that story).

So, mamas, step back (if you have to) and give them those moments, and daddies, take them. Make time to spend with your little ones just playing make-believe, and create stories together that they’ll remember for the rest of the lives.

Because, trust me, they may forget the storylines over time, but they’ll never forget you were the one telling the story.

Feature image courtesy of Picture Bliss Photography.

Confessions of a Preacher’s Kid: #5 – How I’ve Maintained a Strong Faith

April 18, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven: Confessions of a Preacher's Kid: #5 - How I've Maintained a Strong Faith. As a preacher's kid, I've been encouraged, challenged, and strengthened by a lot of things, but there are three things that have been vital to maintaining my relationship with God.

Since I grew up “in church” and as a pastor’s kid, I’ve been to Sunday morning, Sunday night, and midweek services; heard countless testimonies of God’s grace, provision, and healing power; attended prayer meetings, lock-ins, revival services, youth events, and Christian concerts; been baptized, prayed for, and given prophetic words; heard now-famous preachers speak in our churches; attended Christian school for 4 years; listened to Christian music; and been on a mission trip.

I’ve pretty much had all the typical Christian experiences that should be life-changing and encouraging for me in my Christian walk, and yet those experiences are not what kept my faith in God strong and thriving. As I look back over 32 years of following Jesus, there are three things that stand out as the crucial, critical components in consistently growing my relationship with God, and they are all so closely connected that it’s difficult to separate them.

TODAY’S CONFESSION: How I’ve Maintained a Strong Faith

While I’ve been encouraged, challenged, and strengthened in many ways in my faith and during my walk with God, the most important things are rather simple – spending time with God and reading the Bible regularly, learning how to worship daily, and stepping out to serve and minister to others.

SPENDING TIME WITH GOD

We know that as Christians, we should be praying and reading the Bible daily. Sometimes we devour the scriptures and other times we struggle to understand (or even stay awake). There are days when it’s easy to pour out our hearts to God, and days when words are difficult. Still, it’s important!

Knowing God’s Word is how you renew your mind, strengthen your spirit, understand how God calls us to live, and really get to know Who God is and His heart toward you. Praying is our conversation with Him. Without an ongoing dialogue, how can we really say we have a “relationship with God”?

When I was young, I began spending time with God at bedtime, and that’s still my style – praying, reading, and even journaling. Of course, it’s a lot easier to have time alone to spend with God when you’re a child, teenager, or young adult. Once you’re married, and especially when you have children, you can plan, but sometimes it’s hard to guarantee quiet time at the same time every day. Try to get up early, and the kids will be right there with you, even if they usually sleep later. Dare to stay up a bit later, and good luck! ZZzzzz. Haha.

However, just like you work to make time for your spouse because you recognize its importance, spending time with God has to be a priority. When it is, you will find the time, even if it’s different every single day – I’ve prayed while vacuuming or folding clothes or in the car, read my Bible while rocking Josiah at naptime, listened to sermons while making dinner, etc.

Do I ever miss a day reading my Bible? Yes. Sometimes. Do I have major intercession every day? No. Sometimes it’s just a few sentences here and there throughout the day.

However, doing my best to be diligent in seeking God and making Him a continuous part of my day helps to keep my relationship with God strong.

LEARNING TO WORSHIP

I can’t read the Bible without increasing my awareness of God’s greatness, and I can’t pray without thanking God for His goodness. Spending time in God’s Word and in talking with Him inevitably leads me to worshipping Him, being in awe of all He is and all He’s done.

And while a person standing in utter silence can be worshipping the Lord more genuinely than a person singing the most dramatic and moving lyrics, I was made with music inside me for a reason.

For me, I was born with a desire to sing and dance. According to my parents I was wiggling off the couch to the Peanuts theme, “Linus & Lucy,” before I could even walk. I made up songs and dances for everything, probably every day. I wanted to take dance lessons, but we couldn’t afford it when I was growing up. I loved old movie musicals, and at one point, I even wanted to be a choreographer when I grew up (which is hard when you’ve not actually taken dance).

However, I learned early on the difference between just enjoying singing and dancing or singing along with songs on Sunday morning or on the radio in the car and truly worshipping God.

Worshipping God is more than singing, clapping, lifting your hands, or dancing, although generally those are part of how you express it. Sometimes His awesomeness is so overwhelming you that you can’t move or speak. Other times, you can’t help but let your love for God come out of your mouth and go deeper into your heart as you try to express how wonderful He is with every part of you.

I remember the very first time I raised my hands in worship to God. It was something I’d grown up seeing and understanding, but it still took me by surprise. I was about 7 or 8, sitting in the front row of the church my dad was pastoring, and singing along with the praise and worship music during the regular service in the sanctuary. No one requested for us to lift our hands, but as I sang, I just felt God’s nudge to be brave and worship Him more. I wasn’t trying to be like the adults. I was being obedient, and I immediately sensed God’s presence in a brand new way.

I later had the opportunity in about fifth or sixth grade to be a part of our church’s interpretive dance team and for me that opened up an ever deeper level of worshipping. That natural dancing desire in me was given a chance to be used by Him in a beautiful way, and I could imagine myself in front of God’s throne, worshipping Him with everything in me. I might not have been trained, but my heart was all His.

And I have that heart to this day, every day, not just on Sundays in a congregational setting with a band, a choir, and lights. I turn on praise and worship music when I’m doing dishes and cleaning house, singing and dancing around my home. I’ve sung worship to God as I sing my boys to sleep or in the shower. Just like praying and reading the Bible, and because it can flow from that, worshipping is peppered throughout my days.

ACTIVATED FAITH

Reading, praying, and worshipping point me over and over again to how wonderful Jesus is, and the natural outcome of this is that I share Him with those around me, sometimes without even trying to.

One of the biggest memories I have of third grade is when a girl in my class stopped me in the bathroom one day and asked me how she could follow Jesus. Suddenly, there I was, about 8-years-old, praying with one of my classmates to give her heart to God. I honestly don’t remember “preaching” to the kids in my class. I don’t think I did. Watching how Elijah is now with his growing faith, I’m pretty sure I was similar. It just comes out of the relationship you have with Him.

I’ve have found that nothing grows your faith like sharing it. Being physically active strengthens your body, and ministering to others stretches and strengthens you spiritually. Just like your body, you can only take in so much before you become unhealthy from inactivity.

As I grew up, I was blessed to be a part of churches that encouraged us as children to find and develop our gifts and talents. Not only did I have a chance to participate in ministering as part of the dance team, but I was active in drama, puppets, and singing during our children’s church services nearly every week. Once I got to junior high, I worked in the nursery, continued in dance and drama, and had my first opportunity to be a part of outreach into the community, helping with a Saturday afternoon ministry for children.

In high school, that seed of ministry flourished under a youth pastor who challenged and guided us. When our church began a Saturday morning Sidewalk Sunday school ministry, everything I’d been trained in, every talent that God had given me, came into play in an amazing, life-altering way. My heart for children, my singing-dancing-dramatic self, even my teaching ability found a perfect fit in that kind of ministry.

In my experience, one of the worst things for “church kids” and “church adults” is when they fail to truly activate their faith, when they never share what they’ve been receiving all their lives.

One of my friends in youth group said something during one of our youth meetings once that I will always remember. In a challenge to us as she shared one night, she said, “You have the Bread of Life living inside of you. Are you going to let it get stale and moldy, or are you going to use it to feed the hungry?”

She knew that we, her fellow youth members, were experiencing God’s presence regularly and studying His Word. She knew that we often had amazing worship services in that too-small youth room, times when God spoke to us and ministered mightily to our hearts.

But if we did nothing with that, we were wasting it, letting God’s goodness go stale in our lives.

The cool thing about ministering to others, though, is that when you give out what God has given to you, it forces you to go back and get more from Him so that you have more to give out, again and again.

Spending time with God compels you to share Him, and sharing Him compels you to spend more time with Him.

It’s a cycle that keeps your faith flourishing and growing in Him.

———-

For more of my confessions of a preacher’s kid, you can read my earlier confessions:

#1 – Being Raised in Church Isn’t Enough

#2 – My Parents Never Expected Us to “Perfect Preacher’s Kids”

#3 – I Don’t Talk About God All the Time

#4 – True Ministry Isn’t Easy or Glamorous

The Happy Talent of Play

March 31, 2016

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Life in Lape Haven: The Happy Talent of Play. We need to encourage our children to develop their talent for play and make sure that our own skills in that area stay sharp, too.

The other day as I was folding clothes in the living room, the boys were playing a few feet away. Elijah is on Spring Break this week, and while they had been crazy earlier, fighting and whining, Elijah and Josiah were behaving well now and getting along happily. In fact, they were loudly enjoying themselves.

As I worked, instead of blocking them out, I intentionally tuned in through the chaos of the boys playing together to listen to what and how they were playing together.

Just on the other end of the couch where I was stacking clean clothes, the boys had constructed a “fort” with a blanket stretched from the main couch to the end table to the smaller chaise we’d brought down from upstairs on Saturday for more party seating for Josiah’s birthday.

From their little corner hideaway came the giggles and chatter that only come from true play and imagining. With nearly all the pillows in the house either underneath them as their floor or propped up against the piano bench as doors, the boys were pretending to be a king (Elijah) and a prince (Josiah).

I’m not certain what their storyline was because it changed frequently. However, I gathered that there was a “bad guy” that they had to fight, but they didn’t want to leave their castle. With my suggestion that they post trustworthy guards at the gate when they went to battle, Josiah’s new stuffed Chewbacca was recruited and placed at the opening of their fortress.

Probably the best thing I heard that day was their conversation with their new guard as they prepared to go fight:

Elijah: “How many people have tried to get into the castle?”

(Elijah pushes the button on the talking Chewbacca): “Arrrrgghroooowrrr arraaggh.”

Elijah: “Eleven million?”

Chewbacca: “Arrrggghrooowrrr.”

Elijah: “Ok.” To Josiah, “He’s put them all in the jail. Let’s go.”

Josiah: “Ok. Let’s go get the bad guy.”

Chewy makes a pretty impressive guard – he put eleven million people in jail in one day!

I love it when my boys really play like this, using their imaginations and creativity, rather than just wanting to sit and stare at a tablet or TV screen (we like technology and media, but we don’t want our children to be bogged down by it). Actual play allows them to build memories together and bond as brothers and friends, learning how to get along and find unique solutions to resolve their imaginary (and real) conflicts.

I especially love when I can witness them playing together or better yet, join in with them. (Post-birthday-party clean-up had me playing a bit of catch-up with the housework first, though. I did, however, get to play some “Sneaky, Snacky Squirrel” with them a bit later.)

From the time our boys could speak, one of their favorite questions for Brad and me is, “Will you play with me/us?”

And while we know we can’t be at their beck and call all day long, we do our best to get down on the floor, or under the blanket fort, or out in the yard, and play along.

Today we had a chance to visit a local park as a family for about an hour or so, running around the huge playground and exploring the pathways and pond. As we wandered around the area, we went through a rather nice shelter house that had this saying carved over one of the two fireplaces (seriously, fireplaces in the shelter house):

“It is a happy talent to know how to play.” Emerson

Brad laughed at me for snapping a picture of the quote, but I wanted to make sure I didn’t forget it later.

We were there with our boys, playing, nurturing a talent that I want them to use every day for the rest of their lives and making sure that Brad and I don’t let our own talent for play get rusty.

As parents, we like to encourage our kids in practicing piano or learning to draw or developing any other number of skills, giftings, and abilities that God has given them. This little quote reminded me that I also want my boys to be very talented in knowing how to play, to create their own fun, to make-believe and pretend, and to find joy and adventure in a simple walk around the block or a dash across a field.

We can’t forget the importance of this talent, in both our children and ourselves.

If you need a little inspiration, here are some fun quotes about the importance of play:

“Those who play rarely become brittle in the face of stress or lose the healing capacity for humor.” –Stuart Brown, M.D.

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” – George Bernard Shaw

“Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.” – Mark Twain

“Children need the freedom and time to play. Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity.” – Kay Redfield Jamison

“Play keeps us vital and alive. It gives us an enthusiasm for life that is irreplaceable. Without it, life just doesn’t taste good.” – Lucia Capocchione

“Do not…keep children to their studies by compulsion but by play.” – Plato

“Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood.” – Fred Rogers

“Surely all God’s people…like to play.” – John Muir

“A child who does not play is not a child, but the man who does not play has lost forever the child who lived in him.” – Pablo Neruda