Category - Family

How We Changed Our Family Atmosphere with One Question

February 23, 2018

This year for Valentine’s Day, my husband and I had originally planned to do something together during the day since he was off. However, since our regular babysitters were booked (meaning both sets of grandparents were not available), we decided instead to do something as a family once Elijah was out of school.

From the moment we picked him up, our oldest had a bad attitude. He was all for going out to eat, but he did NOT want to go anywhere else (like, say, Hobby Lobby, which was going to be a treat for Mommy).

And the complaining started.

After being rather excited to surprise him with a special afternoon, I was frustrated and irritated with his lack of gratitude.

So, I tried explaining to him that Mommy and Daddy were trying to do something nice as a family, that we wanted to have a fun night all together, and that by complaining and whining about what we might do, he was not exactly showing his appreciation.

I reminded Elijah of the sweet way he had started my Valentine’s Day by creating a cute scavenger hunt for me through the downstairs, leading to some “flowers” he had made. I asked him how he would have felt had I not wanted to follow his clues or just took them down.

To his credit, Elijah realized how he was making us feel, and he apologized.

I thought everything was going to be good after that.

But then…he started pestering Josiah, who rarely backs down from a fight. And suddenly they were arguing and being nasty to each other, and I just wanted to turn around and go home.

So much for a special Valentine’s Day together as a family.

My husband, however, pulled out a question for the boys that had an immediate effect on the entire atmosphere in the car, giving hope to this discouraged Mommy.

He got them quieted long enough to ask Elijah, “What is something you love about Josiah?”

Of course, being a big brother, Elijah was tempted to take the teasing route, but Daddy headed him off, and answered the question himself.

Brad gave examples of why he loved not only Josiah, but Elijah, Isaiah, and Mommy, too.

“I love Josiah because he can be very sweet. I love Elijah because he is creative. I love Isaiah because he likes to cuddle. I love Mommy because she’s intelligent.”

Then I added my “what I loves” to the conversation.

“I love Elijah because he is curious. I love Josiah because he is compassionate. I love Isaiah because he has a funny sense of humor. I love Daddy because he works hard to take care of us.”

Josiah eagerly jumped in to share his.

“I love Elijah because he is nice. (Josiah is forgiving and quick to forget…Haha) I love Isaiah because he is cute. I love Mommy because she helps me. I love Daddy because he plays games with me.”

Finally Elijah was ready to prove that he could come up with his own answers to the question as well.

“I love Josiah because he is good at SurvivalCraft (a video game they play). I love Daddy because he’s silly. I love Isaiah because he’s fun. I love Mommy because she cooks good food.”

And suddenly, the boys weren’t fighting, but rather happily telling each other and us all the different things they could think of that they loved about everyone. We didn’t just stop after we each took a turn, but let them continue as long as they would.

It was part game – the challenge to see what new reason they could come up with – and part fun curiosity – they were delighted to hear what everyone else loved about them.

My Valentine “flowers” from Elijah. His thoughtfulness is just another reason I love him!

In the busyness of every day family life, it can be easy to forget to speak out those things to our children and spouse. We’re quick to correct faults and criticize, especially when things get stressful or overwhelming.

However, taking the time to not just say, “I love you,” but to list the wonderful qualities and traits in our loved ones, is edifying both to them and us. I definitely felt more loved and appreciated when my boys spoke specific things that they cherished in their mommy. Then as I thought about what I wanted to say about my husband and for each of my boys, I was reminded anew of what precious, unique, and wonderful little people our children are and how blessed I am with my husband.

Did our boys fight again that night? Of course. They’re kids. However, it wasn’t in the same nasty tones as before.

We were able to spend our evening together knowing that each person in our family was loved very much by everyone else. Of all the special things we did together for our Valentine’s night that was the most special part of all.

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A Valentine’s Giveaway

January 30, 2018

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Valentine’s Day is coming up soon, which means different things to different people.

For my second grader, it’s not only an opportunity to be creative and crafty with his Valentine’s box, but this year Elijah’s eagerly anticipating giving the girls in his class the special cards he’s picked out. He chose his Valentines this weekend with a rather ornery glee. It was entirely based on how much he thinks the girls will all be grossed out or scared by the realistic bug pictures on the cards. (My boys love bugs!)

Apparently the plan is to give the ugliest, creepiest bug cards, such as the one with the big tarantula on it, to the girls. He’s so excited… So clearly we’re still safely in the “girls are annoying” camp for at least another year!!!

Valentine’s Day for my husband and me will probably mean finally working in a date night at some point during that week. With birthdays, holidays, and sickness, we haven’t been out together in quite a while.

What does Valentine’s mean for you? Do you celebrate as a couple, or do you make Valentine’s Day about the whole family?

**One thing it COULD mean for you is scoring some fun stuff in the special Valentine’s Giveaway that I’m participating in with four of my fellow bloggers!**

Happy Valentine’s Day to you!!!

One of our readers will be blessed with our prize package, which includes a special gift from each blogger (items will be mailed separately). Check out each item, and get to know the bloggers who are sharing in the fun with me. Then scroll all the way down to start getting your entries in!

(This post contains affiliate links, which means that I may receive a small commission if you use the links. See my full disclosure for more.)

YOU COULD WIN:

This adorable tote featuring John 1:16, from Leigh Ellen of Parenting with Humility.

Leigh Ellen is a mother of four, and her heart is “to provide biblical encouragement and truths for the worn down, tired mama like myself.” She has been one of my constant encouragers in my blogging, and her blog has been an encouragement to me in my role as a stay-at-home mom, especially her posts like “When Managing Your Home Seems Like a Wasted Life,” which is a sweet reminder that taking care of my family is my most important ministry of all. (You can also check out her Etsy shop.)

The Homeschooling Housewife, the recently published book on “juggling it all, one priority at a time,” from the author herself, Amber Fox of All Natural Joy.

Amber’s “passion is to help moms first love Jesus and then teach them to serve Him by ministering to their families.” As a pastor’s wife and a stay-at-home mom to seven kids, she definitely knows that the days can be hard, but I love the wisdom she shares about the amazing ministry we already have as moms.

Valerie from Cord of 6 will be sending our winner these beautiful scripture cards, “Promises from God for Women.”

Valerie offers encouragement for keeping your family strong through Christ, and her post (with free printable) on 10 Verses to Fight Fear is a perfect reminder that God doesn’t want us to be afraid (for ourselves or our children), but rather to trust Him and use His Word to combat any arrows of fear that come our way.

A $15 Target gift card, which will be emailed from Denise of Denise Renae.

Denise is one of the first blogging friends I made when I started writing a few years ago. She is passionate about being real as she shares her heart on faith, marriage, and motherhood. With 5 young children to keep her busy, her post on how life actually gets easier when you have more children was a big source of hope to me when we found out that Isaiah would be joining our family last year. 🙂

A “Put on Love” women’s t-shirt, inspired by Colossians 3:14, comes from yours truly. 🙂 It’s perfect for Valentine’s Day!

My newest “Lape Haven Tees” shirt will be available in the winner’s choice of color (4 available) and size. (You can see my entire collection, including my #HowToBoyMom shirt, the popular “Fearless Because He Is Faithful,” and the t-shirt my boys asked me to create for them, on Amazon at Lape Haven Tees.)

WOO-HOO!

The giveaway ends next Tuesday, February 6, so start clicking on those entry options!

VALENTINE’S GIVEAWAY

a Rafflecopter giveaway

This Giveaway will last one week, ending on Tuesday, February 6th at 11:59pm EST. Open to U.S. women residents only. Winner will be selected at random. Winner has 24 hours to respond before a new winner is selected. Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest are in no way associated with this Giveaway.

WANT SOMETHING SWEET TO READ AS YOU PREPARE FOR VALENTINE’S DAY? You might like:

Better Than a Fairy Tale

Being Married to a Cheerleader

A Dream Is a Wish Unless It’s Also God’s Plan

Elijah & His Wife

On Our 8th Wedding Anniversary

Why We Love Baby Sign Language & 6 Tips for Teaching It to Your Little One

January 27, 2018

4 Comments

Why We Love Baby Sign Language & 6 Tips for Teaching It to Your Little One - Life in Lape Haven. Baby sign language is an easy, fun, and helpful way to teach your baby to communicate before they can even talk. All three of our children have learned signs and used them before they were one year old. Here's how you can teach your child signing, too.

When I was pregnant with Elijah, my paternal grandmother gave me two books about how to teach your baby to communicate using sign language. (One even came with flash cards.)

I’ll be honest. At first, I just looked at her. I’d never heard of such a thing.

But Grandma Charlotte was a pretty smart, well-read lady. She’d also taken classes in sign language a few years earlier so that she could communicate with a couple of family members who were hearing impaired, including my cousin’s little girl who is deaf. She knew how easily children could pick it up and how helpful it would be.

So, I read the books, learned some of the basic signs, and taught them to my husband and our parents.

When Elijah was a few months old, I started using the signs as we went through the day, whenever it applied to what we were doing. I’d say the word as I signed it, and soon it became a habit for me.

As Elijah got a little older, we could tell he understood what the signs meant, and, somewhere around 8-9 months, I think, he began signing back.

If you’ve never seen a baby use sign language, it’s kind of amazing – and super cute!

Suddenly, he could ask for a “drink” or let us know when he was “done” or wanted “more.”

We didn’t have to struggle as much with figuring out what he wanted or needed, and Elijah wasn’t whiny or frustrated…unless he was told that he couldn’t have something he wanted. 🙂 Learning “no” is never fun, whether it’s verbal or in sign.

As my family saw how easily Elijah used his signs and how helpful it was, they started using them with his younger cousins.

My grandma was especially proud of our success, and of course, she enjoyed signing to him and seeing him respond happily.

When Josiah came along, there was no question that we would teach him those basic signs as well, this time with Elijah’s help. Sadly, my Grandma Charlotte passed away when Josiah was only 5 months old, so she never really got to see how he benefitted from the communication tool that was her idea.

Now four years later, here we are, teaching a third little boy to use his hands to talk to Mommy, Daddy, and the rest of his family.

Isaiah’s response to sign language was almost immediate because the first one he learned was “milk.” If I wasn’t completely ready to nurse him, but showed him the sign for it, he would get upset pretty quickly! And there were times when I’m pretty sure he signed “milk,” even though he seemed too young to be able to.

Now that he’s at the age where he can mimic our signs easily, it’s been so fun to watch his understanding blossom. He’s been very quick to let us know when he’s “all done” eating, and he loves to tell you when something is “hot,” like the heater or his toy stove with the light-up burner. Haha.

But he picked up a new sign even more quickly last week. After only a couple of demonstrations and connecting the sign with what it meant, he was ready to use “cookie” as often as possible. 🙂

When others see us using signs with our boys, I’ve had them ask me if signing discouraged my children from talking when they were little. Since they could get their message across pretty clearly with just some gestures, after all, why would they need to use words?

Our experience, though, has been that both of our older boys started talking fairly early and easily. While this may be in part because I talked to them ALL THE TIME and prompted them to use words once they were able to, I think that teaching them sign language actually encouraged them to try different kinds of communication because they knew we were paying attention to what they “said.”

Another benefit I’ve found it being able to tell my little ones something without having to say a word, which is especially nice in church when you’re trying to be quiet, or in a noisy place, where your kids might have trouble hearing you. (Being able to sign “no” to even an older child across the room is awesome, especially when you couple it with “the look.”)

If you’d like to begin teaching your child sign language, here are a few tips from our signing experience with our three boys.

6 Tips For Teaching Baby Sign to Your Little One:

1. Start Early

Begin signing even before your baby can physically and developmentally copy them, maybe around 3-4 months old. You’ll get into the habit, & they’ll be learning. (Even if your child is older, you can introduce signing at any age!)

2. Don’t Use Too Many

Pick a few basic signs that you’ll use most often and most effectively and start there. We did ones like Milk, Eat, More, Done, Bath, and Change. You can add others later (Mom, Dad, Please, Thank You, Potty, Dog, Cat, and tons more), just like you build your baby’s verbal vocabulary a little at a time. Here are 21 words you can sign easily.

3. Be Consistent

Use the same sign and word each time and teach your spouse and other family or caretakers to use them, too. (Using standard ASL signs is the best for consistency with others who sign.) We all learn better with repetition. (Our kids can even use their signs in the nursery at church. Several families have taught their children signs, so most of the regular nursery volunteers are pretty fluent in baby sign as well. How cool is that?)

4. Sign in Context

Use the sign when you’re doing the action. Signing “change” makes more sense when you’ve got your little one down and ready to change their diaper, rather than when you’re in the living room and think they might have a dirty diaper. 🙂

5. Don’t Expect Perfection

When your baby starts to sign back, it’s most likely not going to be perfectly executed. Keep in mind your little one is still developing those fine motor skills, so pay attention to anything that even closely resembles a specific sign and respond to it.

6. Keep Signing

Once your child starts talking, there’s no rule that says you have to stop using and teaching them signs. Not only is knowing another language fun and beneficial for challenging their minds (and ours), it will create an instant connection for them with anyone they know/meet who also signs, some who may use sign language as their main form of communication.

Need more help getting started? Here are some fun resources for learning and teaching Baby Sign Language.

(Some of these links are affiliate links, which means that I may receive a small commission if you use the links. You can see my full disclosure for details.)

VIDEOS

One of our favorite sign instructors is Rachel Coleman of Two Little Hands and Signing Time. (We even used her “Potty Time” app when we were potty training Josiah.) Here are just a few of the video available on YouTube.

Baby Signs:

The Potty Time Song:

Best of Two Little Hands TV, featuring signs for foods, clothing, ABCs, colors, and more:

BOOKS

HAVE YOU TAUGHT YOUR CHILD BABY SIGN LANGUAGE? WHAT OTHER TIPS WOULD YOU GIVE?

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10 Ways to Help Your Kids Make Christmas More About Others

November 24, 2017

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10 Ways to Help Your Children Make Christmas More About Others (& Less About Themselves) - Life in Lape Haven. It's easy for kids to only think of their wishlists at Christmastime. But the best joy of the season isn't found in getting. Guide your children to the best joy of the season by making it more about giving to others.

Once upon a time, I lived in a beautiful world where our first child, Elijah, was oblivious to the idea of making a Christmas wish list for himself or seeing the holiday as a time to get whatever he asked for. We just spent the holiday talking about the birth of Jesus, looking at lights, baking cookies, hanging out with family, and more.

We could watch TV, even children’s programming with all of its targeted advertising, without our little guy shouting out after every commercial, “I want that!”

Since we didn’t play up Santa much, he kind of freaked out people in the store when he stared at them blankly instead of eagerly answering their question of “What do you want Santa to bring you for Christmas?” (It was kind of funny to watch, actually.)

As he got older, however, those outside influences and his own experiences (he knew that Mommy and Daddy, his grandparents, and other family were going to buy him presents) started to turn his first thoughts of Christmastime to “What am I going to get?”

And of course, Josiah picked up on the game even earlier, with the help of his older brother.

Now there is nothing wrong with looking forward to presents. Children, like all of us, enjoy receiving presents and get excited about that aspect of Christmas very easily. That’s not really bad – it’s human nature. Receiving presents is awesome. So, no, I’m not anti-gifts, especially for my children.

However, I don’t want my boys’ main concerns at Christmas to be focused on themselves and what they hope to get on Christmas morning.

Not because I’m stuffy and mean or a grinchy Scrooge.

Not because of “kids these days…”

But because I love them and want the very best for them.

And the very best joy at Christmas isn’t found in the getting.

If we want our children to truly enjoy Christmas to the fullest, then we have to let them experience the absolute best part – the giving.

So, here are some things we’ve done over the years to try to keep the “I Wants” and holiday entitlement at bay while allowing our boys to revel in the real fun of Christmas by making the season about celebrating Jesus and giving to others.

1. WRITE A “WISH TO GIVE” LIST

Even though Elijah can now write his own Christmas wish list, I still like to have our boys help us make the Gift-Giving list for their cousins, grandparents, and teachers. Challenging them to come up with good, thoughtful gifts that they know would make that person happy for Christmas requires the boys to think about that person’s likes, interests, or needs – not their own.

2. SHOP FOR OTHERS

Something else we’ve always done is let the boys go shopping with us. They may not help pick out all the gifts because shopping with kids at Christmas is insane…and they aren’t the best at keeping secrets yet. But we do want them to be a part of at least some of it, even if it’s choosing the wrapping paper.

They also get to pick out presents for Mommy, Daddy, and each other. With a set budget per person, my husband and I either take turns with them in the stores, or better still – send them with their grandparents, so they can find just the right gifts. We try to let them come up with the idea, and while sometimes they need a little direction (No, Mommy doesn’t really want a Barbie), we let them make the final decision about the gift they want to give. They also get to wrap it themselves (with help as needed).

3. MAKE PRESENTS

While buying an awesome gift is good, taking the time to make one makes it even more special. Each year I help the boys create something for their grandparents, whether it’s an ornament, an oven mitt, or a picture frame. The goal is to find something useful that the grandparents will actually want that our kids can actually make (Haha). When they invest more of themselves into a gift, it means more for them when they give that gift away.

Here are some ideas of gifts we’ve made for the grandparents for past Christmases.

4. PACK A SHOEBOX/SPONSOR A FAMILY/GIVE A GOAT

When Elijah was younger, the church we attended participated in the annual Samaritan’s Purse Operation Christmas Child, where you pack a shoebox-sized box with small items that a child would like or need, based on the age range and gender you chose. Those boxes are then sent all over the world to minister to children who most likely have never received a Christmas present before. Not only do they enjoy a big party and get to open a gift, they also learn about Jesus.

We always had Elijah help us select and pack the gifts in our shoeboxes.

If it’s too late to take part in the Shoebox collection this year, you can also check out other options on the Samaritan’s Purse site for helping families around the world. You can give a goat (yes, seriously), provide clean water, help provide medical care for a pregnant mother, or meet one of the other needs listed. Not only does this help a family overseas, but you can also use it to start conversations with your child about how blessed we really are in our nation, the difference between wants and needs, and how the whole world needs Jesus.

Our current church home doesn’t do the shoeboxes, but they still offer a variety of ways for us to bless other children and families at Christmas time, such providing food for Christmas day meals or blessing a local child with a Christmas gift. (Each year they host a Christmas party for children who are part of Ohio’s Kinship Care, a relative foster care placement program, and we get to help provide the gifts for the kids. Of course, we recruit our boys’ help when we shop for those gifts, too.)

If you don’t have an official outreach from your church or a local organization, you could make Christmas brighter for a child by giving to Toys for Tots, the Salvation Army’s Angel Tree Program, or any number of charities, or just choose a family you know that might need some extra cheer and bless them.

5. PLAN FOR SIMPLE RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS

Every year we go with my husband’s family to one of the many downtown Christmas celebrations held around the area. When Elijah was about 2, I brought along a pack of candy canes for him to give out to the different shop cashiers, street performers, and random strangers we met throughout the evening. I knew he would be getting all kinds of treats and special goodies, and I wanted him to have a way to give to others, even if it was something small.

Giving out candy canes, either during that family outing or another, has become one of the things we do during the holiday season. The boys enjoy surprising people with the treat, a smile, and a “Merry Christmas!”

And after the success of our mission to bless random people during our family vacation this summer, I can see us using those clips on the car visor for extra special acts of kindness this Christmas.

What I’ve learned from the candy canes and our summer’s random acts of kindness is that my kids LOVE to look for creative ways to make someone else’s day. It gets them looking for opportunities and thinking much more about others.

6. MAKE COOKIES TO GIVE

Similar to the homemade gifts our boys make for their grandparents, having them help make cookies to give away means that those cookies are extra special.

We like to put together a cookie plate for our elderly neighbor every year, and the boys go with us to deliver it and wish him a merry Christmas.

You can also put together cookie trays for your local fire and police departments or for co-workers or church staff.

More #christmascookie fun. #Yummy

A post shared by Kishona Lape (@lifeinlapehaven) on Dec 19, 2015 at 5:57pm PST

7. A FOUR-GIFT CHRISTMAS

A couple of years ago, we decided to try a new approach to our family’s gift-giving, reining in excess, entitlement, and holiday stress by following the four-gift rule. This meant that our list for each boy would only include four presents: something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read.

This approach has been hugely successful for us. Our boys are just as excited about Christmas morning as kids who expect piles and piles of presents.

But by limiting the number of gifts, it helps make the season less about what they want to get. Plus, as a family we can continue to focus on creative ways to celebrate Jesus and bless others.

8. READ THE CHRISTMAS STORY…OFTEN

If we really want our children to focus on the true meaning of Christmas, they need to know what it is and why we are celebrating to begin with.

In our house, we have a special way of telling about the birth of Jesus. One of our boys’ (and mine) favorite decorations is my Fontanini nativity set. Since the pieces are not easily breakable (we’ve not lost one yet), I let the boys play with them to re-enact the story of Christmas. In December, nearly every night before bed, they will ask for us to read Luke 2 or Matthew 2 to them as they move each character around with the telling.

You might not have a child-friendly nativity set to play with, but that’s okay. Simply read about it from the Bible and talk with your children about what it all means. Or find a good children’s book about baby Jesus. Or a movie. Even the Christmas music that surrounds us all season should give you an opportunity to remember Whom we are really celebrating.

9. BE INTENTIONAL WHEN IT’S TIME TO OPEN PRESENTS

We’ve all seen the Christmas shows and movies where the kids race down the stairs on Christmas morning, head straight for the tree, and gleefully start tearing into the packages, as the parents stand back and watch the unfolding chaos.

While I LOVE the enthusiasm and joy that children bring to Christmas, this free-for-all approach doesn’t send the message that we want our boys to get.

From the time that they were young, our children have learned that we wait until everyone’s gathered together (and the camera is ready – obviously!). Then we take turns opening one present at a time.

Slowing down the process allows them to actually appreciate what they receive and gives them a chance to express that appreciation to the giver.

It also allows them to witness someone else’s delight at opening a gift, making the presents about shared joy and not just their own.

10. MODEL THE ATTITUDE

You knew this one was coming, right? If you have children of any age, you know by now that they are better at emulating what they’ve seen than what they’ve been told.

Lead the way, and set the example.

Have patience in crazy traffic. Be considerate of even the crazy shoppers in the stores. Express your thanks for kind gestures and gifts. Find ways to cheerfully bless others.

These are just some of the things that we’ve been doing as a family to try to make our holidays more about others.

Are our children perfect, selfless, altruistic little angels? Not at all.

But they are learning to think of others at least a little bit more and with a genuine heart to help and give.

And slowly, but surely they are realizing an important eternal truth – that it truly is more blessed to give than to receive. 🙂

There are many more ways to help your children experience the full joy of the season through thinking of others.

WHAT WOULD YOU ADD?

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A Mom’s Review of The Star : The Story of the First Christmas

November 20, 2017

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A Mom's Review of The Star : The Story of the First Christmas - Life in Lape Haven. This weekend my family saw the new Christmas movie, The Star, a children's animated film about the birth of Jesus but through the eyes of the animals. Here is my review and some thoughts on the movie.

My family and I saw the new Christmas movie, The Star: The Story of the First Christmas, on opening weekend. Here are my thoughts about it in case you’ve been wondering whether or not to take your children to see it.

“Just because God has a plan, doesn’t mean it’s not going to be hard.”

Would you expect that line to come from a Hollywood-released children’s movie that doesn’t involve singing vegetables? (Love you, Veggie Tales!)

I didn’t either.

And yet, this past Saturday morning, as I sat with my husband and our three boys in a sold-out theater full of excited little children (and parents and grandparents), those words were heard by everyone in attendance, as we watched the new Christmas movie, The Star.

Released by Sony Pictures Animation & Affirm Films, The Star follows the story of a little mill donkey named Bo and his animal friends whose adventures put them in place to witness the events of the very first Christmas, including traveling with Mary and Joseph to Bethlehem.

Yes, most of us know the story of Jesus’s birth. Most of our children know it by heart as well. However, The Star does a good job of showing some of the deeper emotions and themes of the story of the birth of Jesus that our kids may not have grasped yet while still being funny and lighthearted, as evidenced by all the giggles and laughs we heard all around us from both little ones and old ones alike.

And thankfully, not ALL of those laughs came from jokes based on crude humor (unlike so many kids’ movies and shows recently).

(This post contains affiliate links, which means that I may receive a small commission if you purchase through the links.)

THINGS THAT I LOVED ABOUT THE STAR:

Mary and Joseph are portrayed as very relatable, very normal people who love God and are trusting Him in this most unusual plan He has called them to. Mary speaks the line I quoted at the beginning while she and Joseph struggle to understand why God chose them and why things aren’t going better if He did. I don’t know if many children have ever listened to the story of Mary and Joseph and thought about what it really meant for the couple to be obedient to God’s plan, but I love that this film pauses to give kids that chance.

I also love the interactions between Joseph and Bo the donkey. (If Joseph sounds familiar to you when you see it, it’s because he’s voiced by Zachary Levi, whom most of you will know as “Flynn Rider” from Disney’s Tangled. He is just one of many in a long list of good voice talent in this movie!)

As a mom who’s gone through pregnancy and labor three times, I appreciated how they showed Mary’s labor progression, even her breathing through the early contractions. (Although at other points in the movie, she was moving considerably well for a pregnant chick.) It might seem like a little thing, but again, it makes Mary a bit more real than other productions that breeze through the delivery as though it required very little of her (looking at you, The Nativity Story.)

One of my favorite sweet moments in the movie happens when Bo decides to pray, and I love it because he mentions how often he’s seen Mary pray. (And Mary and Joseph pray multiple times during the movie). It’s a subtle message to parents that we are being watched by those little ones around us and a reminder to us to be setting the example they need.

Another slightly subtle but so amazing message comes through Herod’s soldier’s mean dogs – the “bad animals” of the movie. When finally freed from their literal chains, they are given a choice to change and be truly free. There’s even a lesson of forgiveness and grace when Bo sees them again at the manger. I don’t want to spoil it for you, but it was one of my favorite parts of the movie.

THINGS TO NOTE ABOUT THE MOVIE:

While they did a good job of staying true to scripture, as with most movies and works of fiction, the filmmakers do take some poetic license in the film of which you might want to be aware.

The way that they write Mary and Joseph’s wedding as happening on the same day as her return from Elizabeth’s and prior to revealing her pregnancy may be an issue for some because it makes Joseph’s struggle with it all a little less of a struggle. However, they do show him seeking God for wisdom in his confusion, and God speaking to him…without bringing up a discussion of broken engagements and suspicions of infidelity (and what THAT means) with a young audience. (When your kids are older, you can promote them to The Nativity Story, which I still love despite Mary’s easy delivery, as it digs a little deeper into Mary and Joseph’s story, emotions, and struggles.)

Not a huge deal, but I noticed that the wise men come across as “not as wise” at a couple of points, but I’m pretty sure that was done so that their three camels would have something to help with. 🙂

The story also follows the more traditional telling of the Christmas story – the one used to create our nativity sets and such, where the wise men and shepherds are all at the barn/stable at the same time- versus the Biblical one where the wise men come along a bit later “to the house“ where “they saw the child with His mother Mary.” (Matthew 2 tells about the Wise Men’s visit after following the star, and Luke 2 shares the story of Jesus’s birth and the angels appearing to the shepherds.) But whenever they came, they all came to celebrate Jesus and worship Him as the promised Messiah, which is the point of Christmas.

(By the way, make sure to read the Biblical accounts to your children. While talking animals are fun, our kids do need to know what the Word of God says even more. It’s best not to get your theology from a donkey.)

Having seen my share of animated children’s films over the years, I wasn’t sure what to expect from The Star movie when we arrived at the theater. I had high hopes but not-as-high expectations, to be honest. However, I truly enjoyed it. Sure, it’s not perfect, but overall it was a delightful film with fun characters and plenty of heart.

Our boys liked it, too.

In fact, when I asked them about it, trying to get an “official review” from my kids for you all, that’s exactly what they said. 🙂

Elijah, 7: “I liked it. It’s really funny.”

Josiah, 4: “It was funny. I liked it.”

(These are direct quotes, too. Haha)

With as much as they have been talking about it since we saw it, reliving their favorite moments and asking when we can see it again, I’m pretty certain that The Star is destined to join our movie library and claim a top spot on our must-see-every-year Christmas movie list.

My boys and I weren’t alone in our opinions of the film, either.

The entire theater erupted in applause after the final scene of the movie, and I heard little kids in front and behind me telling their parents, “I liked that movie!” and “That was good!” and even a disappointed, “Is it over?” (Oh, and the closing credit artwork is kind of adorable!)

So, if you’re thinking of taking your children to see The Star, I definitely recommend it.

It’s a great way to celebrate the the birth of Jesus, the true Star of the season.

*Note: This is not a sponsored review.*

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7 Simple Dishes Your Child Can Make for Thanksgiving

November 16, 2017

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7 Simple Dishes Your Child Can Make for Thanksgiving - Life in Lape Haven. Our kids like to be a part of everything we do, so it shouldn't have surprised me when my oldest really enjoyed making something "on his own" to take to our family Thanksgiving gathering. Here are 7 easy recipe ideas that your children can help make for your holiday meal or other celebration.

When Elijah was still a little-little guy, about 3 years old, we added a new tradition to our family Thanksgivings that he has faithfully continued every year since. In fact, it only became a tradition because he asked to do it the following year. I might forget it, but he always remembers!

Every year, Elijah gets to make a “special” dish to take to our families’ Thanksgiving meals.

It all started because I was trying to keep him busy while I was prepping my contributions: sweet potato casserole and apple pies.

He wanted to help, but he wasn’t quite old enough to peel potatoes or roll out pie crust. So, I reached back into my childhood and came up with a super easy side dish/dessert he could make: fruit cocktail with marshmallows. 🙂

I know, not exactly your normal Thanksgiving fare, but it was a dish my grandma often served with our meals when we visited when I was little, so I knew our family would be familiar with it.

Plus, all it requires is emptying a can of fruit cocktail into a bowl and stirring in miniature marshmallows. Elijah could totally do that. I opened the cans for him, let him dump it into a bowl, and had him stir as I poured in the marshmallows. Then he put it into the refrigerator until it was time to leave.

He was so excited and proud of himself for “making” something for the day. He carefully carried his creation to and from the car and into my parents’ house.

When it was time to eat, he made sure that everyone knew that he had made the fruit cocktail. 🙂

And they made sure to compliment him on his tasty dish, especially my grandma, who knew exactly where the “recipe” came from.

The following year, I completely forgot about it, but as we got closer to Thanksgiving, Elijah asked me if he could make “his” fruit cocktail again.

And so, it’s now “his” fruit cocktail.

And for him, it’s a special concoction for special occasions. His memories of it are predominantly found in our holiday meals, so to him, it IS Thanksgiving fare.

In talking about Turkey Day this year, he was listing all the things he loves about the day, and he put making fruit cocktail right up there with the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (one of our other big traditions here) and ALL. THE. PIES.

I had no idea that it was that important to him.

But it makes sense.

: Teaching Josiah how to make “his” fruit cocktail.

: Josiah, doing some quality control.

In a day where everyone is bringing something for the feast, what better way to be a big part of the day than to contribute to the table, too?

While for me it was simply a way to keep him busy, that small offering gave Elijah a deeper sense of belonging, allowing him to be an active part of the day, contributing to the celebration, and making something special for his family.

It’s no wonder he never forgets to make it every year. 🙂

With that in mind, if you’d like to give your younger ones a chance to bring something to your family’s festivities this Thanksgiving, I’ve scoured my recipes and those online for a few simple dish ideas your children can create for the holiday table.

(This post contains affiliate links, which means at no additional cost to you, I may receive a small commission when you purchase through the link.)

7 Simple Dishes Your Child Can Make for Thanksgiving

1. Fruit Cocktail: A can or two of fruit cocktail in 100% juice. (If using 2 or more cans, you can drain the liquid from all but one). Stir in at least a cup of miniature marshmallows. It’s really just to your preference. Chill in lidded bowl until ready to serve. It’s best if made a couple hours ahead so that the marshmallows soften just a touch. Too long, though (like a couple days), and they will start to dissolve.

2. 5 Cup Fruit Salad: If you want to be more adventurous than just one can of fruit with marshmallows, you can try this tasty dish here. Made of just a cup of each ingredient, it’s easy to put together!

3. Cranberry Sauce: If you’re using the stuff in a can, let the kids take charge of that one. 🙂

If you’re using fresh cranberries, kids like to mash stuff. 🙂 Or you could make it quickly and make Cranberry Sauce in the Instant Pot, but I doubt the kids can help too much beyond stirring there. (But I love my Instant Pot, and might try this recipe myself!)

4. Compound Butter: Most Thanksgiving menus include rolls, bread, or biscuits of some kind. Make it extra festive with some “fancy” butter.

You could take it even further and let your kids make the actual butter, too! Here are instructions for two different methods: In a Stand Mixer or in a Jar

5. Rice Krispie Treats: Cereal, butter, marshmallows. This one’s easy. And if you’re worried about the stove, melt the marshmallows in the microwave.

Want to make it more festive? Try these adorable Turkey Rice Krispie Treats or make it chocolatey (never a bad thing!) with this Oreo-based recipe.

6. Cheeseball: While there are lots of variations for this classic appetizer, they all tend to be simple to put together. Here’s a tasty looking Bacon Ranch Cheeseball that your kids could assemble with only a *little* mess 😉

7. Turkey Veggie Tray: With a little help or supervision with the cutting part, I know my boys would have fun assembling a fun veggie tray for the day.

BONUS RECIPE IDEA: Sweet Corn Spoonbread (also known as Corn Bake): Yes, this involves the oven. But hear me out. This is a simple dump-it-all-in-and-mix-it-up recipe. Kids are good at pouring stuff into the bowl (and many are good at missing…I know). With a little adult help with melting the butter, opening cans, and using the oven, your slightly-older kids can handle this one and have the joy of taking one of the “big dishes.”

Of course, you can include your children in numerous areas of the meal prep, even if they can’t make an entire dish all by themselves. Letting them have a part in creating the meal, which is kind of the centerpiece of Thanksgiving Day, will give them a sense of accomplishment, purpose, and pride, while creating new family traditions and memories to last a lifetime.

That’s something to always be thankful for, right? 😉

WHAT DISH DOES YOUR CHILD LIKE TO MAKE or HELP MAKE?

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Category - Family

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7 Simple Dishes Your Child Can Make for Thanksgiving

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