Category - Parenting

10 Ways to Help Your Kids Make Christmas More About Others

November 24, 2017

10 Ways to Help Your Children Make Christmas More About Others (& Less About Themselves) - Life in Lape Haven. It's easy for kids to only think of their wishlists at Christmastime. But the best joy of the season isn't found in getting. Guide your children to the best joy of the season by making it more about giving to others.

Once upon a time, I lived in a beautiful world where our first child, Elijah, was oblivious to the idea of making a Christmas wish list for himself or seeing the holiday as a time to get whatever he asked for. We just spent the holiday talking about the birth of Jesus, looking at lights, baking cookies, hanging out with family, and more.

We could watch TV, even children’s programming with all of its targeted advertising, without our little guy shouting out after every commercial, “I want that!”

Since we didn’t play up Santa much, he kind of freaked out people in the store when he stared at them blankly instead of eagerly answering their question of “What do you want Santa to bring you for Christmas?” (It was kind of funny to watch, actually.)

As he got older, however, those outside influences and his own experiences (he knew that Mommy and Daddy, his grandparents, and other family were going to buy him presents) started to turn his first thoughts of Christmastime to “What am I going to get?”

And of course, Josiah picked up on the game even earlier, with the help of his older brother.

Now there is nothing wrong with looking forward to presents. Children, like all of us, enjoy receiving presents and get excited about that aspect of Christmas very easily. That’s not really bad – it’s human nature. Receiving presents is awesome. So, no, I’m not anti-gifts, especially for my children.

However, I don’t want my boys’ main concerns at Christmas to be focused on themselves and what they hope to get on Christmas morning.

Not because I’m stuffy and mean or a grinchy Scrooge.

Not because of “kids these days…”

But because I love them and want the very best for them.

And the very best joy at Christmas isn’t found in the getting.

If we want our children to truly enjoy Christmas to the fullest, then we have to let them experience the absolute best part – the giving.

So, here are some things we’ve done over the years to try to keep the “I Wants” and holiday entitlement at bay while allowing our boys to revel in the real fun of Christmas by making the season about celebrating Jesus and giving to others.

1. WRITE A “WISH TO GIVE” LIST

Even though Elijah can now write his own Christmas wish list, I still like to have our boys help us make the Gift-Giving list for their cousins, grandparents, and teachers. Challenging them to come up with good, thoughtful gifts that they know would make that person happy for Christmas requires the boys to think about that person’s likes, interests, or needs – not their own.

2. SHOP FOR OTHERS

Something else we’ve always done is let the boys go shopping with us. They may not help pick out all the gifts because shopping with kids at Christmas is insane…and they aren’t the best at keeping secrets yet. But we do want them to be a part of at least some of it, even if it’s choosing the wrapping paper.

They also get to pick out presents for Mommy, Daddy, and each other. With a set budget per person, my husband and I either take turns with them in the stores, or better still – send them with their grandparents, so they can find just the right gifts. We try to let them come up with the idea, and while sometimes they need a little direction (No, Mommy doesn’t really want a Barbie), we let them make the final decision about the gift they want to give. They also get to wrap it themselves (with help as needed).

3. MAKE PRESENTS

While buying an awesome gift is good, taking the time to make one makes it even more special. Each year I help the boys create something for their grandparents, whether it’s an ornament, an oven mitt, or a picture frame. The goal is to find something useful that the grandparents will actually want that our kids can actually make (Haha). When they invest more of themselves into a gift, it means more for them when they give that gift away.

Here are some ideas of gifts we’ve made for the grandparents for past Christmases.

4. PACK A SHOEBOX/SPONSOR A FAMILY/GIVE A GOAT

When Elijah was younger, the church we attended participated in the annual Samaritan’s Purse Operation Christmas Child, where you pack a shoebox-sized box with small items that a child would like or need, based on the age range and gender you chose. Those boxes are then sent all over the world to minister to children who most likely have never received a Christmas present before. Not only do they enjoy a big party and get to open a gift, they also learn about Jesus.

We always had Elijah help us select and pack the gifts in our shoeboxes.

If it’s too late to take part in the Shoebox collection this year, you can also check out other options on the Samaritan’s Purse site for helping families around the world. You can give a goat (yes, seriously), provide clean water, help provide medical care for a pregnant mother, or meet one of the other needs listed. Not only does this help a family overseas, but you can also use it to start conversations with your child about how blessed we really are in our nation, the difference between wants and needs, and how the whole world needs Jesus.

Our current church home doesn’t do the shoeboxes, but they still offer a variety of ways for us to bless other children and families at Christmas time, such providing food for Christmas day meals or blessing a local child with a Christmas gift. (Each year they host a Christmas party for children who are part of Ohio’s Kinship Care, a relative foster care placement program, and we get to help provide the gifts for the kids. Of course, we recruit our boys’ help when we shop for those gifts, too.)

If you don’t have an official outreach from your church or a local organization, you could make Christmas brighter for a child by giving to Toys for Tots, the Salvation Army’s Angel Tree Program, or any number of charities, or just choose a family you know that might need some extra cheer and bless them.

5. PLAN FOR SIMPLE RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS

Every year we go with my husband’s family to one of the many downtown Christmas celebrations held around the area. When Elijah was about 2, I brought along a pack of candy canes for him to give out to the different shop cashiers, street performers, and random strangers we met throughout the evening. I knew he would be getting all kinds of treats and special goodies, and I wanted him to have a way to give to others, even if it was something small.

Giving out candy canes, either during that family outing or another, has become one of the things we do during the holiday season. The boys enjoy surprising people with the treat, a smile, and a “Merry Christmas!”

And after the success of our mission to bless random people during our family vacation this summer, I can see us using those clips on the car visor for extra special acts of kindness this Christmas.

What I’ve learned from the candy canes and our summer’s random acts of kindness is that my kids LOVE to look for creative ways to make someone else’s day. It gets them looking for opportunities and thinking much more about others.

6. MAKE COOKIES TO GIVE

Similar to the homemade gifts our boys make for their grandparents, having them help make cookies to give away means that those cookies are extra special.

We like to put together a cookie plate for our elderly neighbor every year, and the boys go with us to deliver it and wish him a merry Christmas.

You can also put together cookie trays for your local fire and police departments or for co-workers or church staff.

More #christmascookie fun. #Yummy

A post shared by Kishona Lape (@lifeinlapehaven) on Dec 19, 2015 at 5:57pm PST

7. A FOUR-GIFT CHRISTMAS

A couple of years ago, we decided to try a new approach to our family’s gift-giving, reining in excess, entitlement, and holiday stress by following the four-gift rule. This meant that our list for each boy would only include four presents: something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read.

This approach has been hugely successful for us. Our boys are just as excited about Christmas morning as kids who expect piles and piles of presents.

But by limiting the number of gifts, it helps make the season less about what they want to get. Plus, as a family we can continue to focus on creative ways to celebrate Jesus and bless others.

8. READ THE CHRISTMAS STORY…OFTEN

If we really want our children to focus on the true meaning of Christmas, they need to know what it is and why we are celebrating to begin with.

In our house, we have a special way of telling about the birth of Jesus. One of our boys’ (and mine) favorite decorations is my Fontanini nativity set. Since the pieces are not easily breakable (we’ve not lost one yet), I let the boys play with them to re-enact the story of Christmas. In December, nearly every night before bed, they will ask for us to read Luke 2 or Matthew 2 to them as they move each character around with the telling.

You might not have a child-friendly nativity set to play with, but that’s okay. Simply read about it from the Bible and talk with your children about what it all means. Or find a good children’s book about baby Jesus. Or a movie. Even the Christmas music that surrounds us all season should give you an opportunity to remember Whom we are really celebrating.

9. BE INTENTIONAL WHEN IT’S TIME TO OPEN PRESENTS

We’ve all seen the Christmas shows and movies where the kids race down the stairs on Christmas morning, head straight for the tree, and gleefully start tearing into the packages, as the parents stand back and watch the unfolding chaos.

While I LOVE the enthusiasm and joy that children bring to Christmas, this free-for-all approach doesn’t send the message that we want our boys to get.

From the time that they were young, our children have learned that we wait until everyone’s gathered together (and the camera is ready – obviously!). Then we take turns opening one present at a time.

Slowing down the process allows them to actually appreciate what they receive and gives them a chance to express that appreciation to the giver.

It also allows them to witness someone else’s delight at opening a gift, making the presents about shared joy and not just their own.

10. MODEL THE ATTITUDE

You knew this one was coming, right? If you have children of any age, you know by now that they are better at emulating what they’ve seen than what they’ve been told.

Lead the way, and set the example.

Have patience in crazy traffic. Be considerate of even the crazy shoppers in the stores. Express your thanks for kind gestures and gifts. Find ways to cheerfully bless others.

These are just some of the things that we’ve been doing as a family to try to make our holidays more about others.

Are our children perfect, selfless, altruistic little angels? Not at all.

But they are learning to think of others at least a little bit more and with a genuine heart to help and give.

And slowly, but surely they are realizing an important eternal truth – that it truly is more blessed to give than to receive. 🙂

There are many more ways to help your children experience the full joy of the season through thinking of others.

WHAT WOULD YOU ADD?

Get more ideas & encouragement from this real-life mom as I experience God’s faithfulness through the joy and chaos of motherhood.

Join my email list!
First Name

Email address:

A Mom’s Review of The Star : The Story of the First Christmas

November 20, 2017

2 Comments

A Mom's Review of The Star : The Story of the First Christmas - Life in Lape Haven. This weekend my family saw the new Christmas movie, The Star, a children's animated film about the birth of Jesus but through the eyes of the animals. Here is my review and some thoughts on the movie.

My family and I saw the new Christmas movie, The Star: The Story of the First Christmas, on opening weekend. Here are my thoughts about it in case you’ve been wondering whether or not to take your children to see it.

“Just because God has a plan, doesn’t mean it’s not going to be hard.”

Would you expect that line to come from a Hollywood-released children’s movie that doesn’t involve singing vegetables? (Love you, Veggie Tales!)

I didn’t either.

And yet, this past Saturday morning, as I sat with my husband and our three boys in a sold-out theater full of excited little children (and parents and grandparents), those words were heard by everyone in attendance, as we watched the new Christmas movie, The Star.

Released by Sony Pictures Animation & Affirm Films, The Star follows the story of a little mill donkey named Bo and his animal friends whose adventures put them in place to witness the events of the very first Christmas, including traveling with Mary and Joseph to Bethlehem.

Yes, most of us know the story of Jesus’s birth. Most of our children know it by heart as well. However, The Star does a good job of showing some of the deeper emotions and themes of the story of the birth of Jesus that our kids may not have grasped yet while still being funny and lighthearted, as evidenced by all the giggles and laughs we heard all around us from both little ones and old ones alike.

And thankfully, not ALL of those laughs came from jokes based on crude humor (unlike so many kids’ movies and shows recently).

(This post contains affiliate links, which means that I may receive a small commission if you purchase through the links.)

THINGS THAT I LOVED ABOUT THE STAR:

Mary and Joseph are portrayed as very relatable, very normal people who love God and are trusting Him in this most unusual plan He has called them to. Mary speaks the line I quoted at the beginning while she and Joseph struggle to understand why God chose them and why things aren’t going better if He did. I don’t know if many children have ever listened to the story of Mary and Joseph and thought about what it really meant for the couple to be obedient to God’s plan, but I love that this film pauses to give kids that chance.

I also love the interactions between Joseph and Bo the donkey. (If Joseph sounds familiar to you when you see it, it’s because he’s voiced by Zachary Levi, whom most of you will know as “Flynn Rider” from Disney’s Tangled. He is just one of many in a long list of good voice talent in this movie!)

As a mom who’s gone through pregnancy and labor three times, I appreciated how they showed Mary’s labor progression, even her breathing through the early contractions. (Although at other points in the movie, she was moving considerably well for a pregnant chick.) It might seem like a little thing, but again, it makes Mary a bit more real than other productions that breeze through the delivery as though it required very little of her (looking at you, The Nativity Story.)

One of my favorite sweet moments in the movie happens when Bo decides to pray, and I love it because he mentions how often he’s seen Mary pray. (And Mary and Joseph pray multiple times during the movie). It’s a subtle message to parents that we are being watched by those little ones around us and a reminder to us to be setting the example they need.

Another slightly subtle but so amazing message comes through Herod’s soldier’s mean dogs – the “bad animals” of the movie. When finally freed from their literal chains, they are given a choice to change and be truly free. There’s even a lesson of forgiveness and grace when Bo sees them again at the manger. I don’t want to spoil it for you, but it was one of my favorite parts of the movie.

THINGS TO NOTE ABOUT THE MOVIE:

While they did a good job of staying true to scripture, as with most movies and works of fiction, the filmmakers do take some poetic license in the film of which you might want to be aware.

The way that they write Mary and Joseph’s wedding as happening on the same day as her return from Elizabeth’s and prior to revealing her pregnancy may be an issue for some because it makes Joseph’s struggle with it all a little less of a struggle. However, they do show him seeking God for wisdom in his confusion, and God speaking to him…without bringing up a discussion of broken engagements and suspicions of infidelity (and what THAT means) with a young audience. (When your kids are older, you can promote them to The Nativity Story, which I still love despite Mary’s easy delivery, as it digs a little deeper into Mary and Joseph’s story, emotions, and struggles.)

Not a huge deal, but I noticed that the wise men come across as “not as wise” at a couple of points, but I’m pretty sure that was done so that their three camels would have something to help with. 🙂

The story also follows the more traditional telling of the Christmas story – the one used to create our nativity sets and such, where the wise men and shepherds are all at the barn/stable at the same time- versus the Biblical one where the wise men come along a bit later “to the house“ where “they saw the child with His mother Mary.” (Matthew 2 tells about the Wise Men’s visit after following the star, and Luke 2 shares the story of Jesus’s birth and the angels appearing to the shepherds.) But whenever they came, they all came to celebrate Jesus and worship Him as the promised Messiah, which is the point of Christmas.

(By the way, make sure to read the Biblical accounts to your children. While talking animals are fun, our kids do need to know what the Word of God says even more. It’s best not to get your theology from a donkey.)

Having seen my share of animated children’s films over the years, I wasn’t sure what to expect from The Star movie when we arrived at the theater. I had high hopes but not-as-high expectations, to be honest. However, I truly enjoyed it. Sure, it’s not perfect, but overall it was a delightful film with fun characters and plenty of heart.

Our boys liked it, too.

In fact, when I asked them about it, trying to get an “official review” from my kids for you all, that’s exactly what they said. 🙂

Elijah, 7: “I liked it. It’s really funny.”

Josiah, 4: “It was funny. I liked it.”

(These are direct quotes, too. Haha)

With as much as they have been talking about it since we saw it, reliving their favorite moments and asking when we can see it again, I’m pretty certain that The Star is destined to join our movie library and claim a top spot on our must-see-every-year Christmas movie list.

My boys and I weren’t alone in our opinions of the film, either.

The entire theater erupted in applause after the final scene of the movie, and I heard little kids in front and behind me telling their parents, “I liked that movie!” and “That was good!” and even a disappointed, “Is it over?” (Oh, and the closing credit artwork is kind of adorable!)

So, if you’re thinking of taking your children to see The Star, I definitely recommend it.

It’s a great way to celebrate the the birth of Jesus, the true Star of the season.

*Note: This is not a sponsored review.*

Keep up with all our adventures & get encouragement from this real-life mom as I experience God’s faithfulness through the joy and chaos of motherhood.

Join my email list!
First Name

Email address:

7 Simple Dishes Your Child Can Make for Thanksgiving

November 16, 2017

3 Comments

7 Simple Dishes Your Child Can Make for Thanksgiving - Life in Lape Haven. Our kids like to be a part of everything we do, so it shouldn't have surprised me when my oldest really enjoyed making something "on his own" to take to our family Thanksgiving gathering. Here are 7 easy recipe ideas that your children can help make for your holiday meal or other celebration.

When Elijah was still a little-little guy, about 3 years old, we added a new tradition to our family Thanksgivings that he has faithfully continued every year since. In fact, it only became a tradition because he asked to do it the following year. I might forget it, but he always remembers!

Every year, Elijah gets to make a “special” dish to take to our families’ Thanksgiving meals.

It all started because I was trying to keep him busy while I was prepping my contributions: sweet potato casserole and apple pies.

He wanted to help, but he wasn’t quite old enough to peel potatoes or roll out pie crust. So, I reached back into my childhood and came up with a super easy side dish/dessert he could make: fruit cocktail with marshmallows. 🙂

I know, not exactly your normal Thanksgiving fare, but it was a dish my grandma often served with our meals when we visited when I was little, so I knew our family would be familiar with it.

Plus, all it requires is emptying a can of fruit cocktail into a bowl and stirring in miniature marshmallows. Elijah could totally do that. I opened the cans for him, let him dump it into a bowl, and had him stir as I poured in the marshmallows. Then he put it into the refrigerator until it was time to leave.

He was so excited and proud of himself for “making” something for the day. He carefully carried his creation to and from the car and into my parents’ house.

When it was time to eat, he made sure that everyone knew that he had made the fruit cocktail. 🙂

And they made sure to compliment him on his tasty dish, especially my grandma, who knew exactly where the “recipe” came from.

The following year, I completely forgot about it, but as we got closer to Thanksgiving, Elijah asked me if he could make “his” fruit cocktail again.

And so, it’s now “his” fruit cocktail.

And for him, it’s a special concoction for special occasions. His memories of it are predominantly found in our holiday meals, so to him, it IS Thanksgiving fare.

In talking about Turkey Day this year, he was listing all the things he loves about the day, and he put making fruit cocktail right up there with the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (one of our other big traditions here) and ALL. THE. PIES.

I had no idea that it was that important to him.

But it makes sense.

: Teaching Josiah how to make “his” fruit cocktail.

: Josiah, doing some quality control.

In a day where everyone is bringing something for the feast, what better way to be a big part of the day than to contribute to the table, too?

While for me it was simply a way to keep him busy, that small offering gave Elijah a deeper sense of belonging, allowing him to be an active part of the day, contributing to the celebration, and making something special for his family.

It’s no wonder he never forgets to make it every year. 🙂

With that in mind, if you’d like to give your younger ones a chance to bring something to your family’s festivities this Thanksgiving, I’ve scoured my recipes and those online for a few simple dish ideas your children can create for the holiday table.

(This post contains affiliate links, which means at no additional cost to you, I may receive a small commission when you purchase through the link.)

7 Simple Dishes Your Child Can Make for Thanksgiving

1. Fruit Cocktail: A can or two of fruit cocktail in 100% juice. (If using 2 or more cans, you can drain the liquid from all but one). Stir in at least a cup of miniature marshmallows. It’s really just to your preference. Chill in lidded bowl until ready to serve. It’s best if made a couple hours ahead so that the marshmallows soften just a touch. Too long, though (like a couple days), and they will start to dissolve.

2. 5 Cup Fruit Salad: If you want to be more adventurous than just one can of fruit with marshmallows, you can try this tasty dish here. Made of just a cup of each ingredient, it’s easy to put together!

3. Cranberry Sauce: If you’re using the stuff in a can, let the kids take charge of that one. 🙂

If you’re using fresh cranberries, kids like to mash stuff. 🙂 Or you could make it quickly and make Cranberry Sauce in the Instant Pot, but I doubt the kids can help too much beyond stirring there. (But I love my Instant Pot, and might try this recipe myself!)

4. Compound Butter: Most Thanksgiving menus include rolls, bread, or biscuits of some kind. Make it extra festive with some “fancy” butter.

You could take it even further and let your kids make the actual butter, too! Here are instructions for two different methods: In a Stand Mixer or in a Jar

5. Rice Krispie Treats: Cereal, butter, marshmallows. This one’s easy. And if you’re worried about the stove, melt the marshmallows in the microwave.

Want to make it more festive? Try these adorable Turkey Rice Krispie Treats or make it chocolatey (never a bad thing!) with this Oreo-based recipe.

6. Cheeseball: While there are lots of variations for this classic appetizer, they all tend to be simple to put together. Here’s a tasty looking Bacon Ranch Cheeseball that your kids could assemble with only a *little* mess 😉

7. Turkey Veggie Tray: With a little help or supervision with the cutting part, I know my boys would have fun assembling a fun veggie tray for the day.

BONUS RECIPE IDEA: Sweet Corn Spoonbread (also known as Corn Bake): Yes, this involves the oven. But hear me out. This is a simple dump-it-all-in-and-mix-it-up recipe. Kids are good at pouring stuff into the bowl (and many are good at missing…I know). With a little adult help with melting the butter, opening cans, and using the oven, your slightly-older kids can handle this one and have the joy of taking one of the “big dishes.”

Of course, you can include your children in numerous areas of the meal prep, even if they can’t make an entire dish all by themselves. Letting them have a part in creating the meal, which is kind of the centerpiece of Thanksgiving Day, will give them a sense of accomplishment, purpose, and pride, while creating new family traditions and memories to last a lifetime.

That’s something to always be thankful for, right? 😉

WHAT DISH DOES YOUR CHILD LIKE TO MAKE or HELP MAKE?

Want more encouragement, recipes, and ideas from this real-life mom as I experience God’s faithfulness through the joy and chaos of motherhood?

Join my email list!
First Name

Email address:

How to Find Your Quiet Moments When Life Is LOUD

November 10, 2017

10 Comments

How to Find Your Quiet Moments When Life Is LOUD - Life in Lape Haven. As moms, we all have days when the demands are constant, the noise is incessant, and all we need is a quiet moment to focus. Where are they hidden throughout your day?

I’m sitting here on the couch, enjoying one of those very rare moments when my house is quiet in the middle of the day. Sure there is the white noise of the baby monitor close by, the whir of the washer in the other room, the click of my keyboard keys as I type, and the hum as the furnace decides it’s ready to chase away a bit of the fall chill in the house. But other than that – it’s still and quiet.

Our little guy is upstairs napping, our oldest son is at school, and my husband took our middlest to the store with him.

It’s just me and silence.

This is that golden silence that every mother needs on occasion. The calm hush we long for when our kids are bickering, the baby is squalling, the dog is barking, and the oven timer is going off to remind us to hurry along before we burn dinner.

It’s that elusive peace that we are willing to stay up *just* a bit longer for after the kids are put to bed, even when we’re dead-on-our-feet exhausted.

It’s what we need to catch our breath and refresh our souls, and then even when we manage to find it, it’s fleeting.

Like now. Little man is waking up from a shorter-than-he-and-I needed nap.

SEVEN HOURS LATER…

So, that was a nice 15 minutes of quiet earlier today. 🙂

(This post contains affiliate links which mean at no additional cost to you, I may receive a small commission when you use the links. You can see my disclosure statement for more.)

I know you understand those days, moms (and dads). And I know we all also have those days where even 15 minutes of quiet is nowhere to be found.

A lot of my days feel like THAT: days where the demands are constant, the noise incessant (even just when the kids are nicely playing, it can be…energetic), and I feel unfocused, scattered, or overwhelmed. Those loud days can be difficult parenting days.

It’s hard to “mom” well when you can’t even hear yourself think.

However, lately God has shown me that there ARE moments throughout my day that, while not perfectly calm and still, are moments where I could enjoy a pause or get mentally organized or just talk to Him.

But every time I get a moment to myself, whether I’m doing dishes while the boys play upstairs, folding clothes after bedtime, driving home with two boys asleep in the car, or even when I’m getting my makeup on or taking a shower – I’ve been filling up those moments with distractions.

And it’s not always Facebook. 🙂

In fact, usually I’m trying to be overly-productive.

I can listen to a podcast or watch a webinar while I’m making dinner or just cleaning up the kitchen.

Having the Kindle app on my phone means that I can read a book while brushing my teeth or drying my hair.

Amazon.com – Read eBooks using the FREE Kindle Reading App on Most Devices

Or maybe I’m listening to music as I sort clothes in the laundry room.

And of course, when my boys are otherwise occupied, finally getting to watch something on TV besides Paw Patrol, Wild Kratts, or Tumble Leaf (an Amazon series) is kind of appealing for my clothes-folding or dusting in the living room.

But my multitasking has also been over-tasking my focus and leaving me feeling disconnected from myself and from God.

By filling up all my possible quiet moments, I have been taking away my chance to pause and ponder – like finding the root of recent disciplinary issues with my boys, thinking through blog post ideas that I wanted to write, planning ahead for upcoming family events, or most importantly, praying or meditating on God’s Word and giving Him space to whisper direction, correction, or vision to my heart. (Nothing will renew your strength for the day better than finding time in God’s presence – even if it’s only a few seconds.)

So, I’ve started appreciating those short blips of calm that I find in my days and using them more wisely – by just letting them be truly quiet moments (or maybe “quiet-ish” moments – as quiet as they can be with life still going on around me.)

I turn off the noise that I can, leave my phone alone, and I think, pray, and listen.

Once again, I feel focused, capable, and in control. I’m better able to handle the ever-present “busy” of my kids and the many demands of being a mom, wife, and homemaker.

I’m not saying that when you have a spare moment of your own that you can’t watch TV, listen to music, catch up on your favorite blogger’s posts 😉 or read a book. We need that time, too.

(In fact, we love our Amazon Prime membership because of all the shows, movies, music, and e-books we get in addition to our free 2-day shipping 🙂 – Join Amazon Prime – Watch Thousands of Movies & TV Shows Anytime – Start Free Trial Now)

However, if you are filling EVERY spare moment with your own distractions, you will eventually feel the loss of the peace and preparedness that comes in the quiet.

So, if like me, you’ve felt out of sorts and need to recharge or refocus, look for those little moments where, instead of filling them up, you can pause to appreciate the quiet and let God refill you.

WHERE DO YOU FIND YOUR QUIET MOMENTS DURING THE DAY?

Want more encouragement from this real-life mom as I experience God’s faithfulness through the joy and chaos of motherhood? Join my email list!
First Name

Email address:

10 Homemade Family Costume Ideas & How We Made Them

October 2, 2017

2 Comments

10 Homemade Family Costume Ideas & How We Made Them - Life in Lape Haven. Our family has done theme birthday parties and dress up a lot in the last 5 years. Here are ten fairly easy, inexpensive, and fun family theme costumes for parents and children.

I know I’ve mentioned a few times in the past how much our family likes doing costumes (see Elijah & the Ninja Skills, for example).

My boys love playing dress up on any given day, which is why they have a costume box in their room and why I have face paints in the bathroom (I’ve done quite a few spontaneous face painting sessions with them “just because”). But they especially like costumes for birthday parties and our church’s annual Fall Fun Fest, and they LOVE it when we all dress up with a family theme.

In looking for a fresh idea for this year’s family costume for the Fall Fun Fest, I began to think about all the different ways we’ve dressed up with our boys in the last 5 years (we didn’t really do much as a family until Elijah caught the “costume birthday bug” from his cousins’ party when he was 2).

So far our family has done 10 different costume themes…in 5 years. 🙂

Before we had kids, I had my own stash of costume items from years of teaching children’s church (we did a costume day to match our lesson theme at the end of every unit), working with youth groups (one group had 4 theme nights one year, complete with costumes), and of course, Christmas plays and drama skits, so I’m usually pretty prepared for almost any character I need.

Now that stash has expanded quite a bit to include costumes for all my guys.

And lest you think that we spend a fortune on our fun, let me reassure you – we do this as inexpensively as possible. Most of our outfits are pieced together from what we have on-hand, then supplemented with thrift store finds, Dollar Store deals, and LOTS of creativity. (Again, I save everything we use so that we can repurpose it down the road.)

Since I know that this time of a year is kind of the peak of costume season (my own search started this post, after all), I thought perhaps you all would like to see our repertoire of family costumes in case you need some ideas for your own.

PIRATES

Elijah’s life would never be the same once he learned that you could have costumes at a birthday party.

Little Pirate: For Elijah, I took a white t-shirt and black pants and cut them jagged on the edges. On the shirt, I cut a slit at the neck then added a few holes to thread a strip of red rawhide through it. A black vest, bare feet, a red polka-dotted tie for his bandana, and a lucky find of a pirate hat, then all he needed was a parrot.

Lady Pirate: One of my most fun pieces in my stash is that crazy multi-color satiny skirt. It makes a great pirate skirt, and with all those layers, you can definitely hide a dagger in those granny boots. I added a ruffled white shirt, some dangly jewelry, a silky bandana, a few braids, and a colorful belt.

Captain Hook: The most elaborate of the costumes was Brad’s, but again, it was mostly thrift store stuff, including the Jack Sparrow wig and Captain Hook hat (both awesome finds!). For his lacy cuffs and cravat, I used the trim off a set of old curtains, and stitched the trim onto sock ends for his arms and a strip of fabric to tie around his neck. His hook was made using a pop bottle bottom, a black sock, and a Dollar Store toy hook.

PEANUTS

As a HUGE fan of Charlie Brown and the Peanuts, no other party theme would do for our 3-year-old Elijah, whose one real request was that everyone come in costume.

Sally: I actually had a “Lucy” style blue dress and wig in my stash thanks to a recent Charlie Brown Christmas play at church, but as I was nursing 3-month-old Josiah and still losing pregnancy weight, that dress didn’t fit. Thankfully, I found a workable pink dress at the thrift store to add black dots to so that I could be “Sally.” I added some pink shorts for bloomers and wore black flats since I didn’t have any saddle shoes.

Snoopy: Brad’s costume is courtesy of my mom’s genius: a white t-shirt with a black “spot” on the back, white sweatpants with a tail added, a white hat with black felt ears, and a nose made from a pop bottle covered in white fabric.

Woodstock: Our little “Woodstock” came together with a yellow onesie, some yellows feathers on fabric, yellow feathers on a hair clip, and a touch of orange makeup on his nose.

Elijah also used his “Charlie Brown” t-shirt later that year for our church’s fall fest. By then Josiah had outgrown his Woodstock, so we put a red striped shirt on him and let him carry his blanket. Boom! “Linus”!

Two fall fest’s later, we all wore our Peanuts outfits for the church’s event.

NEWSIES/TURN OF THE CENTURY

For Josiah’s first birthday, I wanted a costume idea that he would tolerate (since he wasn’t as into costumes as much as Elijah yet), so we did a Newsies party. Little boys in suspenders, knickers, and caps = adorable!

: Our little newsies

: My complete outfit

Boys: The caps had to be ordered, but the knickers were just cut off pants with buttons added at the knees. Their suspenders were blue elastic pinned on the front and back of their pants.

Me: The hardest part of my costume was my hair – I could have used a lady’s maid. Long black skirt, puffy white shirt (something my mother-in-law found), a pretty pin from my grandma used as a broach at my throat, and an apron.

Brad: Cap and suspenders from the…yep, thrift store.

CIRCUS

Elijah’s 4^th birthday party theme was “Circus” because we knew it provided fun decorations and lots of different costume options for our family and friends. Also, my dad used to be a professional clown, so we knew we’d have an awesome clown (or 2) at the party.

Clown: My mom did Elijah’s makeup since my dad has the real clown make up. His costume was again a mix and match of his closet and the thrift store. Recognize those suspenders from his Newsie outfit? His hat and silver honking horn were from the Dollar Store. And that face in this picture? I don’t know, but it made him look like a creepy clown rather than the sweet cute clown he was!

Ringmaster: All I needed was a top hat from the discount store and a red jacket from the thrift store. Ruffley white shirt, black pants, black knee boots.

Lion Tamer: Josiah had a cute little overall set with safari animals on it and a khaki sun hat. We called our big Labradoodle, Vinny, his lion.

Human Cannonball: Brad’s old paintball pants, a motorcycle helmet from his dad, and a black long-sleeved t-shirt striped with reflective duct tape. Yep.

**Oh, and PARTY BACKDROP TIP** Grab a few plastic tablecloths from the Dollar Store in the colors of your party theme. Make a “hem” on one end of each tablecloth by folding it over and taping it. Slip a rope through and hang it. It worked really well for my circus tent.

THE WIZARD OF OZ

Having enjoyed his birthday costumes so much, Elijah had a very ambitious idea for what he wanted to be for our church’s next Fall Fun Fest: The Tinman.

This one took some research for the face paint, but it was really fun to do. And when I found a lion costume at the thrift store for Josiah, it was perfect! Brad and I weren’t actually going to dress up, but the afternoon of the event, I decided it would be fun. That scarecrow and very minimalistic Dorothy came together in about 2 hours. Haha.

: Tinman and His Heart

: Cowardly Lion with His Medal for Courage

Tinman: The face paint really makes this character, so I watched a couple of YouTube videos to plan it out, and we tested it a few days ahead of time. (I just used a cheap eye shadow palette with lots of grays, silvers, and blues at the Dollar Store.) His chest piece is a puffy winter vest spray painted silver.

Lion: Again, face paint makes it so much better, and again I used cheap makeup and YouTube videos. Haha.

Scarecrow: Since this was thrown together quickly, I used what we had: a flannel shirt, scrap fabric for patches, embroidery floss for the patch stitches, and a few makeup accents. The straw-like fringe at his neck and cuffs came from a pair of tan socks that I could spare.

Dorothy: The only thing I didn’t have was red shoes, so I spray painted a cheap pair of white tennis shoes with red, then added glitter. They did get a little stiff from the paint, but it was only for the evening, so I survived.

NURSERY RHYME CHARACTERS

It can be tricky to find costume-friendly party themes for little ones, but the Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes for Josiah’s 2^nd birthday was perfect.

: Little Boy Blue blowing his horn

: Humpty Dumpty on the wall

Jack & Jill: Brad and I just had to look as though we’d fallen down the hill, so we cut some tears in our thrift store pieces, then added some “dirt,” some bandages, and a pail for our water.

Little Boy Blue: Overalls, straw hat, horn, and a sheep. Done.

Humpty Dumpty: This may be one of my favorite costumes ever (along with the Tinman). Again, face makeup helped. The egg was cut out of white foam board, and then I glue straps on the back so Elijah could wear it. I stuffed a small pair of tights and added some of Josiah’s baby shoes to make Humpty’s legs, and Elijah wore those around his waist. For Elijah’s brick wall pants, I used a sponge to paint bricks onto a pair of red pants. So fun.

SUPER HEROES

Elijah’s 5^th birthday wasn’t your typical Super Hero birthday. Nope. Elijah specifically asked that it not be any KNOWN super heroes. He wanted to make up his own and have everyone else come as original super heroes, too. (I love my creative boy!)

Aaaand I blinked! Super.

: Star Power Kid & Line Power Guy

: Brad as the villain getting silly-stringed at the party.

Line Power Guy: Elijah came up with his character, named him, and helped me design Line Power Guy’s logo – the lightning bolt with a line. I used adhesive-backed felt to create the insignia and stuck it to one of Elijah’s athletic shirts. His used his gray gloves from Humpty Dumpty, a belt from Mommy, his snow boots, and my mom and I had made the capes several years before. Add a cheap mask, and you’re done.

Star Power Kid: Line Power Guy’s sidekick (Josiah) had felt insignia like Elijah. I just stuck his to a pair of his pajamas.

While my costume was easy and I got to be a good guy, we had a little fun and made Brad our villain. Using those paintball pants and that once-duct-tape-striped black t-shirt, we added some of his random paintball gear and a water gun.

KING, QUEEN, & KNIGHTS

My nephews who started us off with the pirate party once again had a costume birthday that year, only my boys didn’t decide until the day before that they wanted to do a NEW costume idea for the gathering.

Can you believe our royal family was put together in less than 24 hours?

: My quick picture at home. Josiah was excited!

: Elijah took his role very seriously.

: My noble protectors.

Knights: I found a table runner at the thrift store for the boys’ tunics. I cut it in half, then folded each length in half and added a hole for their head. With gray or black turtle necks and dark pants underneath, the tunics were belted with rawhide string. For their armor, I bought generic Storm Trooper pieces from the Dollar Store, cut off the bottom of the mask to make it a helmet, got out the gray spray paint, and strapped them on. And the snow boots came back into play for their feet.

Queen: I had that awesome gown hanging in my closet, so all I had to add was some clearance jewelry from Walmart (including my dangly headpiece – it’s a necklace!)

King: We recycled the shirt, lacy collar and cuffs, and knicker-pants and stockings from Captain Hook, but changed out the robes and added a spray painted headband for a simple crown. (Hey, I only had so much time!)

STAR WARS

A Star Wars party was inevitable for our household, and Josiah claimed it first.

Luke Skywalker: Josiah wore an adult-sized tan hoodie as his robe, a cream color shirt/tunic, and tan pants with his white socks pulled up over them (Luke wears some kind of tall boot thing). Bubble wand sticks make easy light sabers.

Finn: Found this costume on clearance at Kohl’s and snatched it up. Easiest costume of the day.

Leia: I went with Princess Leia when she was on Hoth because the long white dress that we all usually think of was way NOT practical for a mom hosting a 3-year-olds birthday party. So, we went white turtle neck, white pants, white puffy vest, grey snow boots, braided hair, and a Dollar Store blaster gun. Pew- pew!

Han Solo: Of course Brad had to be the Han to my Leia, so I found a black vest that looked more utilitarian, a cream color shirt, put a red-tape stripe down his jean legs, and made a cardboard belt buckle.

Chewbacca: Even our dog Vinny got to dress up. I was looking for a way to make a gun belt for him when I noticed that some shelf liner that we had had an interesting texture to it. I looped it over and pinned it together in a circle. He loved it. Hahahaha.

Since I was too pregnant to be Princess Leia from Hoth by the time the fall festival came around, I switched up my costume a tad. I found this silly “That’s No Moon” Star Wars Maternity t-shirt, and my boys stayed with their original costumes.

This is the only family picture we got that night.

PJ MASKS

Our most recent costume party was Josiah’s PJ Masks birthday. He was super excited to be CatBoy.

CatBoy: We found his mask on Etsy, and it was adorable and the same price as a hard plastic one from the stores. For his costume, he had a pair of pajamas from Christmas that you can draw on, so I drew the CatBoy emblem and a few stripes.

Gekko: For Elijah’s Gekko costume, I used felt and some spray adhesive for the logo, and then we added some green spray to his hair.

Owlette: Hello, red cape! You’ve been around a while. 🙂 I also used my red super hero mask and glued it to a red feather mask I’ve had forever.

Romeo: Brad got to be our villain again, and the boys thought it was especially fitting since Daddy already had the streaks of gray in his hair like the cartoon bad guy. We purchased a lab coat (that Brad later used at our Maker Fun Factory VBS), and I pulled some cleaning gloves out from under the kitchen sink.

Ninjalino: Since Isaiah was so tiny, Josiah decided that he should be one of the small Ninjalinos that work with the Night Ninja. Thankfully, we had a long-sleeve romper with a hoodie with some navy blue on it.

So, there you go. Ten costume themes from our family in the last 5 years.

UPDATE

Here’s what we decided for our Fall Fun Fest theme. We actually opted to take part in the Trunk or Treat this year, so of course, our costumes had to match. Our theme was Peter Pan, with our vehicle being transformed into Captain Hook’s pirate ship. With the help of my mom, we created a boat end out of cardboard boxes, with a PVC pipe mast with plastic tablecloths as our sails.

: Our family as our “Peter Pan” characters.

: Our pirate ship trunk.

: Captain Hook & Smee

: Tiger Lily; Wendy, Michael, & John Darling, Peter Pan, & Captain Hook

Our cast of characters included:

Captain Hook: Recycled from our pirate party costumes

Peter Pan: A large green t-shirt cut jagged, with the neckline adjusted a bit became an easy tunic, which we paired with some green leggings (surprisingly hard to find when we wanted them). I picked up a pair of brown ankle boots at the thrift store, and we used felt and feathers to make his hat.

Wendy Darling: All of the Darling children are pretty simple costumes since they headed to Neverland in their pajamas! I found a blue nightgown at the thrift store, but added a blue robe and some white leggings to the ensemble because October in Ohio can be cold. And it was cold the night of our church event. A simple blue bow on my ponytail, and some black flats as slippers, and I was done.

John Darling: Josiah was so proud of his top hat and glasses! I ordered his hat online, and we found a pair of cheap black sunglasses at the Dollar Store and popped out the lenses. I put him in a large white button down to mimic an old-fashioned nightshirt (with some pants underneath) and picked up a robe for him at the thrift store. And he was adorable!

Michael Darling: This was the easiest costume of all! Isaiah in some footie pajamas with a blanket and teddy bear.

Tiger Lily & Smee: My mom made these costumes for my dad and herself, with lots of creativity and a little more sewing (especially the fringe on hers).

So now to plan for next year…

Get more ideas & encouragement from this real-life mom as I experience God’s faithfulness through the joy and chaos of motherhood.

Join my email list!
First Name

Email address:

A Simple Change That May Keep You Safer in a Parking Lot

August 24, 2017

Add comment

Life in Lape Haven: The Simple Change That May Keep You Safer in a Parking Lot. The end of a rough grocery shopping day with my boys ended up with a bit of a scare when I was caught off-guard in the parking lot. That's when I realized that a simple choice earlier made the incident even more dangerous for me and my children.

The incident happened quickly, and even though I’ve read all the tips, I was caught off-guard. Thankfully nothing bad happened to any of us, but those split seconds and that moment stayed with me. I realized that one different choice earlier that morning might have left my children and me less vulnerable, and I resolved to change my habits for the future. Months later, I was glad I did.

It had been one of those rough days.

My boys were tired after a morning of grocery shopping, and 4-year-old Josiah was in an especially nasty mood since he didn’t like his temporary seat in the last row of our SUV. We were still praying and looking for a new vehicle that would fit all three car seats better. But as it was, he was relegated to the far back, and he hated it.

So the entire time I loaded the car, he was throwing an epic fit. It continued, gaining intensity and volume while I stood half-in and half-out of the SUV, trying to cinch his straps, leaning over the middle seats and Isaiah’s car seat to do so.

Isaiah had been easier since he was barely 3-months-old and still staying in his infant carrier. All I had to do was click it in. Thankfully.

In the midst of threatening Josiah with punishment if he didn’t settle down, I heard,

“Excuse me, ma’am.”

Whirling around, I saw him.

The man was only a few feet away, standing near the back of our vehicle.

And I was immediately on alert (and praying).

Where had he come from? What did he want? Was he dangerous? Why was he bothering me when CLEARLY I was busy (Josiah was still crying in the background)?

In a split second, my mind was assessing everything from where my keys were (in my hand) to his size and build (my height or shorter, slim) to noticing if anyone else was nearby (not that I could see).

And that’s when I realized how I had made this situation even more dangerous for myself.

(Besides being completely distracted from my surroundings by my squalling child)

It was in how I had parked in the parking lot.

Even though I had a parking space fairly close to the store, I had parked so that my driver’s side, the side where I would be putting my kids into their seats, and therefore spending the most time, was facing AWAY from the store entrance.

No one could see me from the store.

My big, tall SUV with darkened windows was between me and my most likely source of help in a bad situation. It was something I’d never thought of before.

When I didn’t say anything, the man continued talking, “I’m sorry. I hate to bother you, but my girlfriend and I are trying to get to Canal (a town about 30-40 minutes away), and our gas light is on.”

I mentally wondered where the girlfriend and car were. (While the small town we were in is relatively safe, it has a tragically big issue with drugs. Having served Grand Jury duty in the county a few years ago, I learned just how huge the problem is.)

So, yes, I was suspicious. Plus I had two little ones to consider, not just myself. I wasn’t leaving them to go verify a story, and I wasn’t inviting this man any closer for our own safety. (Had Brad been with me, we might have offered to have the guy follow us to a gas station, but by myself, I just didn’t feel that was the wisest choice. Of course, had God prompted me to do something, I would have.)

“Sorry, I don’t have any cash on me,” I replied honestly.

The man started to back away, “Alright, well, thanks, anyway.”

Watching him as he walked away, I was entirely aware of where he was headed as I closed the side door, climbed into the driver’s seat, and locked the door.

He ended up a few aisles over, talking to a couple coming out of the store. I watched as he walked around the parking lot, stopping when he found a person to talk to. I never saw him go to “his” car, even though that particular parking lot isn’t that big.

And I sat there, thanking God for His protection.

I decided to change my parking habits from that day on.

FAST FORWARD 5 MONTHS…

Last week, I had all three of my boys with me for a quick stop into the store, and as I pulled into the parking lot, I specifically thought about my encounter with the guy there. In fact, it was a rather STRONG nudging, the kind that come from God.

And I parked differently because of it.

I made sure that my side of our new-to-us minivan was facing the storefront. With Isaiah all but walking now, he rides in the cart, and we have the challenge of strapping his wiggly, grabbing-onto-everything-self back into his seat (behind the driver’s seat) when we’re leaving. It takes a lot longer than it used to.

While no one was having a tantrum as we got back into the car to go, it was still a very déjà vu feeling when I was tightening up Isaiah’s straps, and I heard,

“Excuse me, ma’am.”

It was the same guy. Standing the same distance away. And he told me the EXACT same story (which even my 7-year-old, who wasn’t with us before, remembered me sharing about. It lent some credence to my prior suspicions that this guy probably wasn’t really looking for gas money, sadly.)

Only this time, I felt safer because I knew that he hadn’t been a real threat last time and also because I could clearly see people going in and coming out of the store – and they could see me.

All I could think of was, “I’m so glad that I listened to God’s reminder about our previous meeting with this man and parked differently.”

After sending him on his way yet again, I got back in my van, feeling much more in control than I had the last time I’d met that man.

I know that the simple change of how I parked (and having felt God’s reminder to do so) is what made the difference.

Now I know that we don’t want to live in fear or distrust of people around us, but the truth is that we live in a fallen world. Not everyone CAN be trusted, unfortunately, and we need to be wise in every situation, for us and our children.

As moms, it’s especially easy for us to be distracted or have our hands full at pretty much any given moment, but perhaps implementing this little tip will give you a little more security in at least one part of your hectic day.

For more tips on being safe in parking lots and public garages, check out these sites: Parking Lot Safety and Staying Safe in Parking Lots.

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE:

How I Sabotaged Myself and Made A Bad Evening Worse

For Such A Time As This: Placing Our Children’s Future in God’s Hands

Category - Parenting

10 Ways to Help Your Kids Make Christmas More About Others

So, here are some things we’ve done over the years to try to keep the “I Wants” and holiday entitlement at bay while allowing our boys to revel in the real fun of Christmas by making the season about celebrating Jesus and giving to others.

1. WRITE A “WISH TO GIVE” LIST

2. SHOP FOR OTHERS

3. MAKE PRESENTS

4. PACK A SHOEBOX/SPONSOR A FAMILY/GIVE A GOAT

5. PLAN FOR SIMPLE RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS

6. MAKE COOKIES TO GIVE

7. A FOUR-GIFT CHRISTMAS

8. READ THE CHRISTMAS STORY…OFTEN

9. BE INTENTIONAL WHEN IT’S TIME TO OPEN PRESENTS

10. MODEL THE ATTITUDE

These are just some of the things that we’ve been doing as a family to try to make our holidays more about others.

There are many more ways to help your children experience the full joy of the season through thinking of others.

WHAT WOULD YOU ADD?

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:

A Mom’s Review of The Star : The Story of the First Christmas

My family and I saw the new Christmas movie, The Star: The Story of the First Christmas, on opening weekend. Here are my thoughts about it in case you’ve been wondering whether or not to take your children to see it.

“Just because God has a plan, doesn’t mean it’s not going to be hard.”

THINGS THAT I LOVED ABOUT THE STAR:

THINGS TO NOTE ABOUT THE MOVIE:

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:

7 Simple Dishes Your Child Can Make for Thanksgiving

7 Simple Dishes Your Child Can Make for Thanksgiving

WHAT DISH DOES YOUR CHILD LIKE TO MAKE or HELP MAKE?

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:

How to Find Your Quiet Moments When Life Is LOUD

SEVEN HOURS LATER…

So, that was a nice 15 minutes of quiet earlier today. 🙂

WHERE DO YOU FIND YOUR QUIET MOMENTS DURING THE DAY?

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:

10 Homemade Family Costume Ideas & How We Made Them

So far our family has done 10 different costume themes…in 5 years. 🙂

PIRATES

PEANUTS

NEWSIES/TURN OF THE CENTURY

CIRCUS

THE WIZARD OF OZ

NURSERY RHYME CHARACTERS

SUPER HEROES

KING, QUEEN, & KNIGHTS

STAR WARS

PJ MASKS

So, there you go. Ten costume themes from our family in the last 5 years.

UPDATE

So now to plan for next year…

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:

A Simple Change That May Keep You Safer in a Parking Lot

It had been one of those rough days.

It was in how I had parked in the parking lot.

FAST FORWARD 5 MONTHS…

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: